Roffle Range Rover Roffel - It's All Over Now! Caution: Victim established!

[Junkman]

Interestingly that stupid silicone idiot didn't shit its pants because of it.

I say, newfangled tosh, is what I say.

 

And while we are at it, further evidence that this piece of shit was programmed by a SEM working from home in Bangalore, became obvious,

when during the brief time the SES light actually went off, it did so even when I drove it without being buckled in.

Which I did when I backed it from my drive into my front garden.

Anyone with half a brain would have programmed it to not activate the airbags, when the seat belt of an occupied seat isn't fastened.

 

That whole computer shit is exactly as half arsed, as I predicted it to be in 1986.

[Captain Furious]

Interestingly, or not, my Mk3 Mondeo Estate had a feature whereby if it detected the passenger seatbelt was plugged in but there was no or little load on the passenger seat, it would automatically disable the passenger airbag thinking there was a child seat in there

 

A feature curiously missing from my mk3 facelift, which has no option to disable the passenger airbag at all

 

Actually that got less and less interesting the more I explained it

[Junkman]

What makes my piss boil is that that Untermensch didn't have the courtesy to leave a note under my windscreen wiper.

Considering the replacement heated convex mirror head costs £8.90 and, if broken, which I can only assess tomorrow, when it's daylight, screwed on holding bracket costs £3.40

(so much for £££ repair bills for these), I'd have called him to tell him not to worry about it, apology accepted, etc, etc.

 

Am I really the last surviving gentleman in this country?

[warren t claim]

  On 22/10/2016 at 00:05, Junkman said:

What makes my piss boil is that that Untermensch didn't have the courtesy to leave a note under my windscreen wiper.

Considering the replacement heated convex mirror head costs £8.90 and, if broken, which I can only assess tomorrow, when it's daylight, screwed on holding bracket costs £3.40

(so much for £££ repair bills for these), I'd have called him to tell him not to worry about it, apology accepted, etc, etc.

 

Am I really the last surviving gentleman in this country?

No, you had four people in the call who are all suffering with stiff necks.

[Junkman]

You got that shit right (American).

I'm afraid (British).

[Junkman]

And ask Lukas and you will find, that it isn't any better in fucking Austria.

It's all bollox, you know.

[Junkman]

I am fully aware of the fact, that there are precious few people left out there, who will understand what I mean.

I am also fully aware of the fact, that this will sound rather patronising to a lot of people, who are no longer capable of understanding what I mean.

I do not like this, but there is sod all I can do about it. It's not my fault and for the record, I was against it from the onset.

 

I have been living with this car for some time now.

It is one of the most magnificient machines imaginable.

It is prefectly suited for what I wanted it.

It is like being back in the cradle and there is no worry in the World.

For criss crossing the Peak District throughout a harsh Winter, there is no better machine that you could possibly buy.

Especially if you have to feed a family, you have to get the job done, you have to have the moolah rolling in, you have to pay shitloads to some corporations

every first of the month just because you live.

 

But it is a patronising piece of shit.

I have this constant fear, that the NSA can hack into the infotainment system at any time, and from there set the cruise control to 150, the power steering

to hard right and at the same time unbuckle the seat belts.

 

I should have bought a DKW Munga and a Keeper's jacket.

Or a 1926 Indian 101 and a sleeping bag.

Or a shoddy Rover P6.

 

I would feel so bloody safe.

[michael1703]

Do you know how many lambda sensors yours has?

 

Mine has 2 but every parts suppliers tells me they should have 4.

 

My offside lambda is bust from when the front propshaft tried to make a hole in the transmission tunnel.

 

Have you done a tip run in yours yet?

 

I got a full one tonne builders bag in with the seats down and about ten rubble bags full of laurel hedge

[cort16]

Junkman has fell for a modern vehicle with fuel injection and leather seats.

He'll be driving a 3 year old X5 on finance by next Christmas.

[Junkman]

  On 31/10/2016 at 06:11, michael1703 said:

Have you done a tip run in yours yet?

 

 

Yes. I could have as easily done it with the 405, but without being patronised.

[Junkman]

  On 31/10/2016 at 09:24, cort16 said:

Junkman has fell for a modern vehicle with fuel injection and leather seats.

He'll be driving a 3 year old X5 on finance by next Christmas.

 

Over my stinking decaying rotting dead body perhaps.

[EssDeeWon]

I do like the sound of this Rangie, all that high up V8 smoothness, what Rangies are all about.

 

I think the Bee Gees sung a song about this P38 episode in 1987.

[EssDeeWon]

It seems they did.

 

[spartacus]

Not this then...

 

 

 

[Junkman]

I wrecked it.

 

 

Fuck.

 

Had it broken down as I was promised, this wouldn't have happened.

[anonymous user]

Oh bugger, I take it from that small scratch that someone, somewhere is missing the greater part of their granite boundary wall

[barefoot]

Gaffer tape FTW?

[3VOM]

Write off!

[hairnet]

is that why theres a sinkhole in royton

[robinmasters]

  On 21/10/2016 at 21:56, Junkman said:

Some arsehole clipped the wing mirror.

 

They confused yours with the one pictured earlier in the thread:

 

 

 

 

  Quote

With a step to your left and a flick to the right you catch that mirror way out west

[EssDeeWon]

Age related mark, innit.

[Junkman]

  On 30/11/2016 at 13:04, anonymous user said:

Oh bugger, I take it from that small scratch that someone, somewhere is missing the greater part of their granite boundary wall

 

Au contraire.

This is the result of an impact at less than 0.0001 OMHMPH.

Those bumbers are made from bloody chinaware!

[Guest Hooli]

Perfect excuse for massive metal winch bumpers

[Junkman]

Yeah, needs MOAR diamond plate. I'm such a closet OLLI...

[Jim Bell]

These machines are built to take abuse.

 

Last great can built in Brittain.

[Captain Furious]

13, 35 and 48 please

[Junkman]

  On 30/11/2016 at 22:13, WilsonWilson said:

These machines are built to take abuse.

 

Last great can built in Brittain.

 

Oh yeah?

The head of a bloody cyclist would be able to withstand more abuse than the bumper of this last great can built in Britten.

[Jim Bell]

Thats the joke.

[Junkman]

I know.

I'll swap it for something foreign and solid in Spring.

[eddyramrod]

Or a 75....