--

[Guest Hirst]

-

[MarvinsMom]

what a terrible sounding program,

 

thank god I've not come across that before!!

[Lacquer Peel]

I remember watching this, either as a repeat (on M&M possibly) or when it was first broadcast. Was Brendan Coogan in another crap motoring programme?

 

There was a run of bad motoring television in the late 1990s and early 2000s, no one remembers the crap Scottish motoring show 'Wheel Nuts' with Kaye Adams, which is largely absent from the internet apart from an IMDB stub and this stock image.

 

[Aston Martin]

It was around the time that Men and Motors had 4 different shows, all seemingly presented by Twat Hammond.

[Station]

The woman, although very attractive and probably intelligent, is unsuited to car programs.

[garbaldy]

I fear your eyes may be damaged for ever now, this is why I drag myself to work every day even when I'm ill, it beats the hell out of having to watch shit like this.

[saucedoctor]

There used to be some shit on Sky 1 called summat like Vroom. One of their "tests" was how far away the stereo could be heard. I think yer man with the ears was on it too.

[gricer]

Brendan Coogan was very nearly a Top Gear presenter. Except he lost his licence for DD. A career-limiting move at the paragon of moral virtue that is the BBC.

[Split_Pin]

Thanks for posting that, my evening's viewing sorted. Just one thing before I start though, is there even a whiff of irony anywhere in the show?

[billyboy406v6]

And on that bombshell, no thanks !!!!!!!

[flat4alfa]

[hairnet]

shite then shite now and hes even more annoying than s coogan or p mcguinness

[hairnet]

sadly michael sheard deid

[MarvinsMom]

yes, but wasnt he fab as Adolf Hitler, Admiral Ozel and Mr Bronson.

 

sadly i cannot remember what the called his character in the first season of Auf Wedersain Pet, other than he was the boss german.

[Ghosty]

  On 02/03/2016 at 13:54, saucedoctor said:

There used to be some shit on Sky 1 called summat like Vroom. One of their "tests" was how far away the stereo could be heard. I think yer man with the ears was on it too.

 

You're right, it was relegated to either Sky3, M&M or Ftn when they were on Freeview.

[Jon]

I've yet to sample this Hirst but do welcome the return of your occasional review of television programmes. In light of this mention of obscure car shows from the past couple of decades, I once did a job with a fella called Adrian Simpson, who briefly hosted Fifth Gear and even more briefly hosted Top Gear; so brief in fact that he's not even mentioned in the Former Presenters of Top Gear list, which is actually a whole separate page to the other two pages about Top Gear on Wikipedia. Funnily enough, Brendan Coogan does get a mention.

 

 

 

For those of you who may have forgotten who he was, here's a photo of him looking cool in a leather jacket. It's lifted from a Cancer charity website mentioning something about his involvement in their 'world's biggest bra' fundraising stunt. Presumably he was offering to be the content, as on the day I met him, he was a complete MASSIVE TIT.

 

Three memories still stay with me:

 

1) He arrived and promptly started asking everyone on set if they had a battery for a Nokia non-ironically, presumably having never seen I'm Alan Partridge.

 

2) He had an Astra hire car and started whining on about the non self-cancelling indicators. You're not on TG now, mate, you're on a pilot for an afternoon TV show about whether people should move house or renovate, which you end up not getting the gig for, presumably because......

 

3) .....you openly deride the houses chosen as the options to move in to, saying "I can't put my name against these choices", like the programme made was ever going to be remembered (other than by me).

 

As an aside, Anna Ryder Richardson was there co-presenting that day (I had a semi infatuation with her at the time, complete with bawdy nickname which was a play on her surname) and was excellent in comparison. Name droppin' like a Mo-Fo.

[robinmasters]

I rarely swear on here, but fuck me, that was terrible.

 

I watched the whole episode, and the flashing graphics have worn me out. Made in 2001? I'd assumed it was at least five years earlier than that, with the drum & bass, hair cuts, and puffa jackets. 

 

In the 'Onslow's Bike' feature they managed to say he'd used parts from a Rover SDi and  a Robin Reliant. 

 

I could barely watch the spotty oik with the 306 explaining to the female presenter why he needed tinted windows for 'da laydeez'.

 

'Now it's time for this week's bad boy'

'My name's Ricky, and I drive a Vauxhall Corsa'... with a hundred-weight of body kit and no mention of any engine modifications. 

[UmBongo]

  On 02/03/2016 at 18:44, MarvinsMom said:

yes, but wasnt he fab as Adolf Hitler, Admiral Ozel and Mr Bronson.

 

sadly i cannot remember what the called his character in the first season of Auf Wedersain Pet, other than he was the boss german.

 

Fritz Hermansonson

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

This is awesome. 

 

  On 02/03/2016 at 20:54, robinmasters said:

I could barely watch the spotty oik with the 306 explaining to the female presenter why he needed tinted windows for 'da laydeez'.

 

That was the best bit! I had to keep skipping back to watch it again, if only for the presenter's "...riiiight..." as the 'Mad Punter' starts explaining the importance of blacked out windows in his stealth sexual harassment chamber. 

 

  On 02/03/2016 at 13:06, Hirst said:

"I'm Carnage's roving reporter - apparently the only one - and my sections are presented as if I'm the guy from the old 'Brilliant!' sketches on The Fast Show, except the things I say are actually more stupid"

 

 

This bit had me in tears. 

[vulgalour]

Oh... I thought that part of my memory had scabbed over completely.  Oh dear.

[Cheezey]

I remember a terrible motoring program where the object was to help a member of the public save thousands by buying a at car auction. It was hosted by a motoring 'expert' who was more like an annoying know it all neighbour. Most of the time he bought the person some high mileage tatty rubbish.

 

Does anyone else remember it? I can't remember the name of the program or presenter.

[Doctormop]

  On 02/03/2016 at 18:44, MarvinsMom said:

yes, but wasnt he fab as Adolf Hitler, Admiral Ozel and Mr Bronson.

 

sadly i cannot remember what the called his character in the first season of Auf Wedersain Pet, other than he was the boss german.

 

Herr Grunwald?

[Mr A Lawrence]

  On 03/03/2016 at 07:30, Cheezey said:

I remember a terrible motoring program where the object was to help a member of the public save thousands by buying a at car auction. It was hosted by a motoring 'expert' who was more like an annoying know it all neighbour. Most of the time he bought the person some high mileage tatty rubbish.

Does anyone else remember it? I can't remember the name of the program or presenter.

I remember it but can't think of the name!!

 

I remember he couldn't say Audi properly and the "punter" on the show gave him a requisite of the vehicle like,

 

Must have 5 doors

Be under £600

Petrol engine

Not blue

Not French

Lowish milage

Few toys

 

 

He presented them with a base model 3 door pug diesel in blue that had been around the Galaxy collecting a cat D marker on its way for £1100!!

 

Only thing I gleaned from the show was don't let someone's dodgy uncle buy you something from the auction.

[J-T]

I remember that! My favourite one was when the punter asked for a family car but something sporty. So what did he choose? A Golf GTI? A Focus ST? Oh no...what he got was a Mk2 Mondeo Zetec...all he kept banging on about was the fact that it had a boot spoiler. Understandably Mr Punter was less than impressed

[TataBobu]

  On 02/03/2016 at 13:25, Lacquer Peel said:

 no one remembers the crap Scottish motoring show 'Wheel Nuts' with Kaye Adams

 

 

 

I remember that shitty show! For me it was either that, or "A car is reborn". Guess which I fancied more.

[brickwall]

Painful to watch.

[Partridge]

The punter was clearly an ungrateful arsesock. I'd be dead chuffed with a MK2 Mondeo Zetec!

[SiC]

Not sure of the name, so decided to give it a quick Google. Turns out I completely missed what appears to be more crap: http://cardealermagazine.co.uk/publish/get-ready-for-deals-wheels-and-steals-on-itv/94676

 

Anyone watched that?

[Jim Bell]

I want to go back in time so I can stand in the background.

[AlabamaShrimp]

  On 03/03/2016 at 10:04, SiC said:

Not sure of the name, so decided to give it a quick Google. Turns out I completely missed what appears to be more crap: http://cardealermagazine.co.uk/publish/get-ready-for-deals-wheels-and-steals-on-itv/94676

 

Anyone watched that?

I can't even make a comment on this as it'd have too much swearing

 

As for that strange thing Hirst kindly provided it's definitely inspired me to some very tasteful mods on the Fiesta