Roffle The man from Belmonte says... ROLL-UP ROLL-UP, £6 A THROW

[cobblers]

If it drives anything like my k reg Astra then you're onto a winner there! One thing that's puzzling me though is that the dash and switchgear look completely different when I thought they'd be the same?

K reg is a mk3 astra, the belmont is a mk2.

[jonny69]

Show of hands then...

Question 1: who is jealous about the thread title?

Question 2: who would buy a car on the grounds that they've thought up a witty thread title and need that particular car to start a thread about it?

[MarvinsMom]

DO NOT WANT

lair, lair, pants on fire....

[DSdriver]

Show of hands then...

Question 1: who is jealous about the thread title?

Question 2: who would buy a car on the grounds that they've thought up a witty thread title and need that particular car to start a thread about it?

Been there done that: http://autoshite.com/topic/20981-the-xm-files-alien-influence/

 

so Yes and Yes

[Alexg]

Ok folks, took this on a 25 minute jaunt into work today. Made myself LOL this morning as after all the high*-grade security measures added on Wednesday I'd left the sodding thing unlocked!!! Anyway got her started - needs a bit of throttle for a couple of minutes when cold starting else it cuts out. Probably needs a good service and fresh pez as was still running on the ancient juice that came in it. The dudes next to my work blasted it off for me which gave an instant, but moderate improvement.













A few grim bits-





Ok so there we are. Utterly lacking in any class and littered with giffer marks and a standard crunchy arch. If I can successfully cancel my insurance I reckon after fees etc it'll owe me about £360. I really have no need for it so any shitter want to throw their Panama hat into the ring? As long as it wipes it's face I'm happy. Else I'll polish it to buggery and offer it up on eBay for about £450 and attempt to get a bit of Christmas pocket money.

Before you all come rushing please remember, it looks a bit shit. Also the indicators are intermittent at best and it needs a good service. Spare tyre is kippered.

Good points are
1 owner until September ish. (I cheekily filled out the trade slip so have full V5)
MOT until September 2016 with no advisories
Expert-level giffer-spec paperwork collection, all old MOTs tax discs etc.
47k miles from new
Sunroof, remote locking, electric Windows and mirrors.
Working Electric aerial

Owes me approx £360 so if anyone is daft enough please crack on. It's in Maidstone Kent.

 

Edit... just calculated, will owe me Ã‚£350. No excuses now people. £350

[vulgalour]

Indicators should be intermittent, if they're not you've got a problem.  GLWTS

[Alexg]

Belmont living

 

https://vimeo.com/147233478

 

So I'm sat at work bored, when it dawned on me that as part of my anti theft measures I'd dislocated the King-lead at both ends but very lightly repositioned it so to give the allusion all was complete. Clearly not very helpful for security purposes as I just drove 25 minutes to work with a jumping spark both ends. Plucky.

[Partridge]

....I wonder if this would make a good replacement for my 605?

 

No. Bad. Leave!

[Angrydicky]

This is seriously fit. Add another 40 quid onto the price for a secondhand Disklok from ebay, and you'll never have to worry about it going walkies in the night again.

[barrett]

Two questions

 

Do you live in a very rough area? Surely nobody has stolen a mk2 Astra since about 1997

 

And, are you much shorter than I remember? That seat is so far forward it's making me feel ill. 'I can steer with my bollocks, Lynn! '

[Cheggers]

The reason the Belmont became the Astra Belmont is the same as why the Orion changed to become an Escort...sales figures.

 

Back in the day there was tremendous rivalry between the Astra and the Escort, with higher sales figures being a valuable marketing tool. Both Ford and Vauxhall soon realised that all the time their booted versions ran under a different name, their sales weren't recorded as either an Escort or Astra.

 

Simples

 

Edit to add: I had a 1.6 LX as a company car many years ago and absolutely loved it...I seem to recall it being surprisingly quick.

[Alexg]

Two questions

 

Do you live in a very rough area? Surely nobody has stolen a mk2 Astra since about 1997

 

And, are you much shorter than I remember? That seat is so far forward it's making me feel ill. 'I can steer with my bollocks, Lynn! '

 

It'll be the only thing in the street without an immobiliser if someone's on the take. Also someone tried to pinch my MG Metro from a similar spot a few years back. 

 

I think the seating position is a trick of the camera. I'm not tall, but I don't sit up against the wheel like the pic suggests!

[dome]

For fooks sake don't raffle this

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

23 and 37 please

[lincolndanny]

14 please.....

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I'd love this, it looks cool as fuck and I bet its quite an enjoyable steer. I just know that I would feel like a massive loser turning up to work in it the second time though.

[jonny69]

My_Bo33ox, nobody drives this because they have to; you would only drive this pile out of choice!

 

Doesn't even look like it smells too bad inside, either

[Vince70]

I didn't know there was an industrial estate in Cranbrook but saying that I've not been that way for a few years.. Since I moved away from Hawkhurst.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

My_Bo33ox, nobody drives this because they have to; you would only drive this pile out of choice!

 

 

I know, it would be a feeling of obviously self-inflicted loserdom of course which is the worst kind

[Angry Sheep]

You have to raffle this. Please. G'wan.

 

[sloth]

i know its not in the shite spirit but i think your undervaluing what is now a rare car.  if posted on migweb or aoc id expect it to be 6-700. engine alone is worth 300. its a nova sr one.....  shit cold idle will be the bi metallic  choke jigger sticking or jammed. lots of carb cleaner. and a bit of grease on the spring. 

 

if  i was in the uk id be on my way for this.

[Bren]

Vauxhalls of this vintage are end of an era.

 

They went from being mechanically unburstable ( like the belmont) to having ancillaries made from tapioca thanks to the accountants.

 

As somebody who has owned OHC and CIH engined vauxhalls I cannot reconcile how they can fit italian diesel engines to their products.

[cms206]

Had I not just bought a 350 quid Volvo 340 I'd be hitting this like a ginger stepchild.

 

Any five lucky dips plz.

[Bobthebeard]

The boot opens.

I'm oot.

[trigger]

My Grandad had one of these about 15 years ago, it was his parents car that they gave him, I remember it being a C plate in hearing age beige and was immaculate, think it had only done 25000 miles, it was the sort of car this forum would crash over, i think he just ran it into the ground and scrapped it as it was just a crappy old car back then.

[scaryoldcortina]

The boot opens.

I'm oot.

What were you doing in there?

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I just love the name. Belmont.

 

 

I nicknamed them 'Belmarsh'. About as appealing when new, but now..........

 

I took a 1.3 E reg Belmarsh Merit in px around 1998 fir a 1988 316. It was a decent car, went well, mahooosive boot, decently built.

[sloth]

the one to have was the sri 1.8, standard recaros and 113bhp. mmmmmm

[Alexg]

Right, due to popular* demand I have the glorious Belmont up for grabs at £6 a ticket. Pick a number (or more if you're proper mental) from 1-60, mark your name... blah blah...  you know the drill. I'll then send the boys around for payment, or Paypal me.

 

Please read about the car above. It drives, needs fettling, is cosmetically challenged, good MOT, plenty of paperwork, lives in Kent

 

£6 a throw, no refunds, literally no-one is a winner.

 

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[anonymous user]

umm is that so whoever gets number 60 definitely won't win?

[eddyramrod]

Shouldn't that be 1-59?