The definitive too shite for Autoshite list

[gordonbennet]

all makes

 

No bloody automated manual or twin clutch type gearboxes, and no electric parking brakes.

Preferably no stop start or keyless go either.

[twosmoke300]

Any car with the following is too shit

 

Dmf

Dpf

Automated manual

Electric parkbrake

Anything without a proper key .

 

 

What advantages does any of that shit bring ?

[twosmoke300]

Oh and concentric slave cylinders can fro too

[gordonbennet]

Any car with the following is too shit

 

Dmf

Dpf

Automated manual

Electric parkbrake

Anything without a proper key .

 

 

What advantages does any of that shit bring ?

 

Its great for the maker, cos the buyer who thought that shit impressive daren't keep the fucker one day after warranty expires and most cars fitted with automanual boxes are 3 year warranty jobbies, hook line and sinker with the line pulled tight round the knackers for good measure.

Oh and electric parkers have found favour with people who can't drive cos the parking brake allows 'em to do hill starts.

[inconsistant]

Wouldn't want even if free:

Citroen c3 pluriel

Pt cruiser

Dodge caliber

Toyota Yaris verso

Ford probe... Or is it Cougar? Put me down for none of both

Fiat multipla, mainly the facelift one

Micra convertible

Renault kaleos?

Ford streetka

Peugeot 1007

BMW 3 series compact

Suzuki x90

[twosmoke300]

Oh god the Yaris verso ! My eyes , my poor poor eyes

[cros]

Even though they're old and some people collect them this ugly fucker is actually the winner.

Singer Roadster

[Junkman]

Beauford.

 

There. I won.

Where do I collect my prize?

[dugong]

Fourth time: MG6.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Why the lack of love for the MG6 in particular? looks like anything else on the road

 

Weren't MGs always shite? Isn't that part of the fun, driving a car made of whatever MG / Rover / Austin / BL / shanghai motor group etc could find laying about?

 

I own an MGF so not knocking them in their own shite way as I quite like mine, but its just like a mass produced kit car really made of chopped up metros and other shite

[Richard]

I think dugong got grief (not here) for being "off-message" when he road tested one, which made him hate it even more.

[fatharris]

I owned a first-gen Kia Mentor for a brief period, owning that was like stroking your bollocks in the night and finding a lump. Slow, noisy, rattly, overheated constantly, it had no redeeming features whatsoever, bought for an ex to learn how to drive.

 

She never did, and the car got scrapped shortly afterwards.

 

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk

[cros]

Beauford.

 

There. I won.

Where do I collect my prize?

Doesn't qualify. The Beauford is a specialist vehicle like a retch limo'. Specifically designed to transport wankers it is honed to perfection.

[TataBobu]

Any car with the following is too shit

[...]

Anything without a proper key .

 

I have to disagree with this one. And for a bimmer! I admit, it's based on the only one I've been in, and I have no idea if it was standard issue or the owner did it. It's this little rascal here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BMW_700

 

For me, the "too shit to drive" car 10 years ago was the Daewoo Cielo. Guess what I'm driving this days.

[the judge]

Vauxhall have done it again.

 

The Sintra was rebadged US crap and an embarrassment to the brand.

 

Now they have the Antera. oh dear.

A guy at work had one as a company car and it went back after 18 months as not fit for purpose.

Fuck me. A car has been accepted back by a dealer for not being fit for purpose. As a fucking car!!!! That really is shite. I heard a rumour all vauxhalls are shite,said someone on the internet. But never before that they're cars were incapable of being cars??

[Taff]

I'd own pretty much anything at all, the only things I wouldn't bother with are down to personal taste, so I therefore have no intention of ever keeping a Ka for example.

 

/\

This. I'm fortunate that I have a reliable car and I have one of my dream cars, so if I have a couple of hundred quid "laughter" money, I'll spaff it on something I don't need just for shit & giggles. I've just added a PT cruiser search on my eBay, just to spite you all.

 

This thread has given me an idea for a kind of "anti-roffle".

 

A PT Cruiser is sourced (by Billy, probably), gets painted up in Autoshite branding (logo, strapline, train/horse pic, Savvy selfie, badly drawn penis, etc.), then all active forum contributors' names are assigned a number in a tombola. Contributors can purchase "remissions" in the same way as raffle tickets, i.e. if their number is drawn it is declared void for that single turn & the number is put back in the drum and the draw takes place again.

 

The losing ticket owner has to own & drive the PT Cruiser for one month, telling us all about the experience in a pinned topic. One month later the tombola is repeated, with the previous loser's number remaining in the draw (i.e. it's possible to lose more than once).

 

The money raised from "remissions" can be spent on champagne & prostitutes.

 

I'm in.

 

That's the problem with trying to style a modern car like ones where the front wings were held on with a couple of screws and contributed nothing to the usefulness of the car apart from deflecting rain. I don't have much of an issue with the cars themselves, although I don't like them, but they do tend to attract the kind of fuckwit that loves all things American but lacks the balls to go and live there or even drive something wholly inappropriate

 

mustard mitt, this is my concern with them. If you want a yank, show some commitment and go large like Dan or me

[cros]

Miserable side valve engine, column change, this is the '50s PT.

 

 

[Bren]

How did that poor woman manage to get her foot stuck in a shityrover grille?

 

Was she trying to kick it in disgust?

She's stopping it rolling forward.

 

I cannot believe how much Rover priced these things at - no wonder they did'nt sell.

[Bren]

My ex neighbours had a sintra.

 

They summed it up in one word.

 

Wank.

[xtriple]

We nearly bought a PT cruiser new!

 

The wife thought they were gorgeous to look at and really wanted one... until we went and had a look at one in the showroom. We were out of there before the salesman even sniffed us! You cannot see any corner of the thing from the drivers seat, the build quality was laughable and that was us done.

 

I'm with the poster above that will/would drive anything for the sake of interest and have often be surprised by how 'okay' some things are that you would never normally consider. I'm thinking old rear engined Skidas that everyone lusts over now - back in the day, you couldn't give them away!

 

I can't think of one car off hand that I wouldn't have a peer at, I even fancy a go in one of the micro car things!

[montytom]

Me personally Id drive anything, I didnt like the cityrover I was given as a courtesy car many years ago but strangely im getting a hankering for them now.

[anonymous user]

Miserable side valve engine, column change, this is the '50s PT.

Sorry, I like them especially the drophead with landau bars. Now all it would need is TR3 running gear.

[dollywobbler]

Me personally Id drive anything, I didnt like the cityrover I was given as a courtesy car many years ago but strangely im getting a hankering for them now.

 

I drove a City Rover a while back. Comically shit (the electric window switches just fell apart when I pressed them), but somehow likeable. In other words, top drawer Autoshite.

[Junkman]

I've just added a PT cruiser search on my eBay, just to spite you all.

 

You didn't.

[Timewaster]

Fuck me. A car has been accepted back by a dealer for not being fit for purpose. As a fucking car!!!! That really is shite. I heard a rumour all vauxhalls are shite,said someone on the internet. But never before that they're cars were incapable of being cars??

It actually went back to our transport dept who probably offloaded it onto some unsuspecting new starter.

In that 18 months the repair costs including hire cars was over 5 grand.

It was hopeless.

[purplebargeken]

I remember the Sintra. What was so shit about it? I can't recall the details.

[purplebargeken]

Hmm, just checked. It truly was shit but it did have magnesium seat frames. Wow!

[anonymous user]

Hmm, just checked. It truly was shit but it did have magnesium seat frames. Wow!

Hopefully they do not fit magnesium seat frames to the Zafira

[phil_lihp]

Wasn't the Sintra known for slicing off fingers in the folding seat mechanisms?  I'm sure I read that somewhere years ago.  It was only a rebadged Pontiac or something to get Vauxhall's foot in the MPV door just in time to realise nobody wanted them any more.  Mind you, the Zafira certainly made up for the Sintra's lack of success.

[cros]

Sorry, I like them especially the drophead with landau bars. Now all it would need is TR3 running gear.

Thats a frightening thought.