Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[Parky]

Tone Loc’s classic song “Funky Cold Medina” was originally written about a Vauxhall Meriva with AirCon he found at Car Giant in Staines.  Sadly when he dictated the lyrics to his mate in Los Angeles, the phone line was a little crackly hence the slight name change.

 

[New POD]

Trains and trams and buses are going to be the future when cars are banned from all roads in 2020.  Electric-Cycling may be acceptable in the countryside. 

Tractors will become very sought after. 

[New POD]

10 hours ago, JeeExEll said:

General Motors wasn't a real person.

But General Stonewall Jackson was.  The inventor of the internal combustion engine in 1789. 

Unfortunately he used the engine to power the looms of Yorkshire. 

Eventually he made trousers which were advertised in the Liverpool Echo in 1975.

He had lived over 200 years. 

https://www.britishnewspaperarchive.co.uk/search/results/1950-01-01/1999-12-31?basicsearch="stonewall jackson"&phrasesearch=stonewall jackson&retrievecountrycounts=false&sortorder=dayearly&newspapertitle=liverpool%2Becho&page=1

[Crackers]

On 12/17/2019 at 10:01 AM, New POD said:

I'm an accident. 

And I'm David Coulthard.

[New POD]

55 minutes ago, Crackers said:

And I'm David Coulthard.

And IN David's Cult-yard ? 

[Noel Tidybeard]

3 hours ago, Parky said:

Tone Loc’s classic song “Funky Cold Medina” was originally written about a Vauxhall Meriva with AirCon he found at Car Giant in Staines.  Sadly when he dictated the lyrics to his mate in Los Angeles, the phone line was a little crackly hence the slight name change.

 

no, no, no, it was written about a 1973 maurice marina in harvest gold with a fcuked heater matrix over the christmas period in the snow

[DoctorRetro]

I will keep my current car for at least six months. 

[New POD]

2 minutes ago, TheDoctor said:

I will keep my current car for at least six months. 

Thread winner. All entries now closed. 

 

[DavidB]

Robin cars are so called because a friendly robin used to visit the factory daily on the look out for scraps of food from the workers. Such was the popularity of the little bird, the company owner named his company after it.

Unfortunately, the bird was crushed to death under the wheels of the first car that rolled out of the factory, a Robin Delboy.

[dozeydustman]

Austin motors weren’t named after Herbert Austin as commonly thought. They were named after the antipodean metal From which the very first car was made, hence AUS-tin

[Parky]

Countach is a Piedmontese expression of rude wonder, successfully applied to the seminal Lamborghini.

Matra attempted their own French version but sadly went under before the announcement of the revolutionary “Zut Alors” with five abreast seating, fibreglass chassis and steel panels.  

[dozeydustman]

The Horsey Horseless had a city delivery van version, named the Donkeyless

[PiperCub]

What was the favourite old one with the Citroen SM?

Something along the lines of if you put the A/C on with a combination of other things &/or circumstances then the engine blew up?

[PiperCub]

On 1/2/2020 at 10:05 AM, JeeExEll said:

General Motors wasn't a real person.

But Major Disaster was.

Along with Captain Cockup but we were always told that we were never at home to the latter. 

[Parky]

36 minutes ago, PiperCub said:

What was the favourite old one with the Citroen SM?

Something along the lines of if you put the A/C on with a combination of other things &/or circumstances then the engine blew up?

Was it the Lancia Thema that couldn’t be started with the wheels at full lock as it broke the camshaft that’s you are thinking of?
 

Another fact is putting a “Fake Taxi” sticker on your car makes women 2000% more likely to have sex with you in said vehicle
 

 

[PiperCub]

I think it was SM related. Not heard of the Lancia one. 

[dozeydustman]

16 hours ago, PiperCub said:

I think it was SM related. Not heard of the Lancia one. 

It applies to both the SM and the Thema as they were actually very very tough mechanically, but full Right lock plus the vibration of starting the engine managed to snap the brake pad wear wire on the front left wheel, the loom end of which would earth out on the inner wing and burn out all the engine electrics.

[DavidB]

The transit was originally designed as a metal box with a seat for transvestites to sit and contemplate their lifestyle. Only later did they add wheels and an engine.

[Craig the Princess]

The first ever AA man was actually an absolute arsehole.

[Tamworthbay]

11 minutes ago, Craig the Princess said:

The first ever AA man was actually an absolute arsehole.

And an alcoholic, sadly his name has been lost to history......

[Craig the Princess]

Just now, Tamworthbay said:

And an alcoholic, sadly his name has been lost to history......

He did invent a very useful battery though.

[Tamworthbay]

4 minutes ago, Craig the Princess said:

He did invent a very useful battery though.

As did his son

[Dick Cheeseburger]

The real reason the wheelbase is shorter on one side than the other on the Renault 4 is because of French engineers acceptable tolerances. Apparently they were heavily influenced by the talented folk who assembled BMC products whilst pissed. 

[anonymous user]

23 hours ago, PiperCub said:

I think it was SM related. Not heard of the Lancia one. 

The Lancia Gamma, with the flat four engine, was the reputed camshaft snapper. 

[Mr Pastry]

49 minutes ago, anonymous user said:

The Lancia Gamma, with the flat four engine, was the reputed camshaft snapper. 

The thing with the Gamma was that the power steering pump was driven off the rear of one of the camshafts.  The camshafts had the usual toothed belt drive from the crankshaft.  In some conditions, e.g. full lock when first starting from cold, the pump placed enough load on the camshaft to cause the belt to jump a few teeth - hence bent valves.  I doubt the camshaft would have broken as they were very robust.  The problem only affected early cars.  On the later ones it was cured by adding an extra tensioner to the cam belt, not (as would have seemed more sensible) by relocating the steering pump and driving it from the crankshaft pulley.

 

[New POD]

2 hours ago, Tamworthbay said:

And an alcoholic, sadly his name has been lost to history......

Allen, the Anglican, alcoholic, absolute arsehole, associated with the automobile association. 

They called him Torx not Allen though. 

[Vince70]

Isopon P38 Filler was designed to be used solely to patch up bullet holes on the P38 Lockheed lighting fighter and repair rust and body damage on  Range rovers.

If it’s used on any other vehicle it just doesn’t stick.

Its the same with K seal as it is solely to be used for rover K series or Honda K series engines and if you put it in any other vehicle it will block up the coolant pipes.

[dozeydustman]

The British Leyland plughole of doom was designed with foresight of the British Motor Industry, after Lord Stokes visited a fortune teller at a works outing to Clacton-on-sea

[vulgalour]

Clacton-on-Sea is where they made the tappets for the Talbot Alpine.  They used real cockle shells since they were in plentiful supply at the time due to a rather severe winter storm.

[Justin Case]

On 2/2/2020 at 11:27 AM, DavidB said:

The transit was originally designed as a metal box with a seat for transvestites to sit and contemplate their lifestyle. Only later did they add wheels and an engine.

I call bullshit on this one. Ford's light commercial vehicle was originally going to be named the Ford Transistor to highlight the large number of small electronic devices which were used to control most of its functions. Unfortunately the short bonnet of the Mark 1 version ruled out the full version of the original name, so ever since they  have used  the abbreviated version.