Silly Things That Put You Off A Car

[anonymous user]

"Carvcraft" on the number plates, in marker pen.

Things that should put me off usually don't, because by the time I have made up my mind to buy something, suddenly there are very few if any for sale, so because I want instant gratification and I want it now I'll end up buying the first heap of crap that remotely resembles what I have been looking for.

 

Immediately after I have done that all the lovely cared for examples come out of the woodwork, usually on my doorstep, but it is too late as I have already lost interest in the one I bought and have sworn never to buy another. Until the inevitable repeat performance further down the line.

[cort16]

They make my eyes puff up, they scratch the curtains and are selfish little bastards.

 

 

 

 

sorry I misread the thread title.

[oldcars]

Sale folk, that when you question crash damage reply "sorry my mistake i though you had come to see a 10 year old rover"

 

Also hate dirty cars in dealers, no excuse. I have to have a clean car, so i know it will not be my standards but at least hoover it and wash it.

[Jerzy Woking]

Ads that say "meticulously maintained" "well loved" "well cared for" etc., then show photos of the interior in which the over mats are covered in all sorts of shit and debris. If they cant even shake the over mats off before taking the photo, what sort of fuckwit are they?

 

I don't mind cars or bikes having little in the way of descriptions-I have purchased a number of bikes and cars that just have even less than a basic description of the vehicle for sale-the lack of detail seems to put other buyers off from even ringing the seller. I have bought some great bikes advertised this way.

[quicksilver]

Blatant keyword spamming in the title always puts me off as it reeks of desperation = "Vauxhall Vectra not Mondeo BMW Mercedes bedstead piece of toast etc." Photos with badly obfuscated numberplates or even better people are always good for a laugh but I wouldn't buy from someone who does that as it looks like they have something to hide. Then there's the old favourite "no MOT but doesn't need much work to pass" and its myriad variations. If it really doesn't need much work why can't you be arsed to do it? As Junkman would say, "it's fucked".

[Steviemillar]

"Rare"

 

"According to how many left......"

 

Grrrrrrrr!

[pshome]

a page full of useless crap about that model copied from Wikipeida but nothing about the car thats for sale.

[CHRIS1980]

Owner was the son of a banker. Wasn't that the crap stated by a recent ebay BMW seller?

[CHRIS1980]

Oh yeah another one....barn find......fuck off! Now! Just fuck OFF! Why does a car found in a dilapidated agricultural building covered in chicken shit and full of Satans pet spiders make it more desirable and expensive?

[UltraWomble]

I suppose the same thing goes for "Shed find / Garage find" followed by "I have owned this since 1986...

 

Well you hardly fucking found it then did you? Did you hide it under a pile of old TV-Times magazines and then get hit on the head and forget you ever were the owner of a shagged out Tomos A3 with stretched chain and broken brake cable? Did you? No? Well you didn't fucking find it then. You just put it at the back of the shed until such day as you realised you were never going to fix it, ever. And now you realise how sad and worthless your life on this planet is, that you will never fulfil your dreams and are having a clear out of all your crap so you can spend some money on a massage and blow job down the local knocking shop to give you 3 minutes and 24 seconds of feeling important again.

[Jerzy Woking]

"It's Fucked" type RWD cars advertised as "possible drift" even though good ones would never be able to drift on roads covered in oil.

 

Likwise, any shit, old, non running bike, the uglier the better, advertised as "possible cafe racer/bobber". Really? Even a mid 70's Jawa 350 apparently............

[Jerzy Woking]

I genuinely had a "barn find" when i lifted a couple of blankets in an outbuilding at a mates house. Three years old and 167 genuine miles does qualify as a barn find I suppose.

[Tamworthbay]

First to see will buy - bullshit put in ad in the hope that someone will be clueless enough to believe them.

[Junkman]

Likwise, any shit, old, non running bike, the uglier the better, advertised as "possible cafe racer/bobber". Really? Even a mid 70's Jawa 350 apparently............

 

Mid 70's Jawa 350s make fine cafe racers.

[carlo]

Thirty photos of the exterior but can't be arsed to open the door and take even one of the interior.  This really puts me off.  The interior's where I sit when I drive it.

[quicksilver]

Thirty photos of the exterior but can't be arsed to open the door and take even one of the interior.  This really puts me off.  The interior's where I sit when I drive it.

Oh yes, has anyone mentioned the interior photo through the window classic yet? That's just bone idleness. Similarly, why do some ads have all the photos taken from the same side? What are you hiding on the other side?

[Jerzy Woking]

Mid 70's Jawa 350s make fine cafe racers.

I have severely reprimanded myself for not having any imagination. I'll send myself to bed with no supper.

[richardthestag]

UNIQUE NUMBER PLATE

 

 

tell you what blood, i should fucking hope so

 

and while i am at it

 

Good condition for age! or average miles on a 20 year old car

 

 

 

So good condition compared to what? a bowl of baked beans? and great it has done 200k without so much as an oil change etc etc

 

and finally

 

SHOUTY FUCKING ALL CAPS MANUSCRIPTS WITH NO PUNCTUATION AT ALL

 

[Junkman]

I have severely reprimanded myself for not having any imagination. I'll send myself to bed with no supper.

 

Lack of imagination can be boosted with intoxicating liquids. No end.

[I_am_Diesel]

'War & Peace' style descriptions describing every single service and repair in mind numbing detail. I generally get bored after a few lines and look at something else.

[anonymous user]

I suppose the same thing goes for "Shed find / Garage find" followed by "I have owned this since 1986...

 

Well you hardly fucking found it then did you? Did you hide it under a pile of old TV-Times magazines and then get hit on the head and forget you ever were the owner of a shagged out Tomos A3 with stretched chain and broken brake cable? Did you? No? Well you didn't fucking find it then. You just put it at the back of the shed until such day as you realised you were never going to fix it, ever. And now you realise how sad and worthless your life on this planet is, that you will never fulfil your dreams and are having a clear out of all your crap so you can spend some money on a massage and blow job down the local knocking shop to give you 3 minutes and 24 seconds of feeling important again.

Could be worse, it could be 3 minutes 24 seconds of feeling impotent

[Cavcraft]

A VW or Audi badge.

[greengartside]

The seller is a big part of the buying process. If the seller is dodgy, chances are the car won't be exactly what it is. Anything that's not parked up at the seller's house is a big no-no for me. I do like to see a service history book but it's not the end of the world. You can usually gauge how a seller is by communication, plenty of correspondence means a lot. I don't like any nasty smells or seat covers that have been mauled by a pitbull revealing piss-stained seating. Same with steering wheel covers, I'd rather see an honest worn wheel than some cheap fluorescent tat from the Polish Pound shop.

[Parky]

Mismatched shit tyres, no sign of ever having had an oil change, annoying clunks which the seller claims weren't there before you test drove it, and "powered by Fairydust" stickers

 

But as has been mentioned, the owner is the main thing.

[DodgyBastard]

Anything above £500 is usually enough to put me off.

[406V6]

Any car that doesn't have the instruments in  front of the driver so you have to crank your head(usually) to the left to look at the speedo

[CHRIS1980]

Mid 70's Jawa 350s make fine cafe racers.

This caused me to change my underwear.

[doobietoo]

Aggressive sellers....... and ... "if it doesn't sell this week I will MOT it and sell it for 3 times as much" yea right......

[Uncle Jimmy]

It's colour.

[Jerzy Woking]

Aggressive sellers....... and ... "if it doesn't sell this week I will MOT it and sell it for 3 times as much" yea right......

Funny that - you never see them listed again with a full mot........