Once was enough :-(

[Cavcraft]

Escort Mk6/7/8, especially the vans and extra especially the diesel ones. They actually smell of misery and despair, absolutely and utterly hateful things.

 

Ford Ka: Utter, utter shit.

 

Ford Focus: WTF is all the fuss about? Their only 'attribute' is that they're better than an Escort, but a punt in the bollocks from a steel toe capped boot is better than  an Escort. 

[spike60]

Alfa 156 JTD 2.4 2002. In the 8 months I had it I spent minimum £100 a month on non consumables, almost everything attached to the engine fucked up. Lovely styling, well designed, built out of shit parts.

[alf892]

Fiat shaped Lada.........absolutely woeful devices

[doobietoo]

Peugeot 605... for some reason the seat is wrong for me.... drove one a hundred miles and it resulted in me needing to be physically lifted out of the car... never again...if given one i would

1 - give it away

2 - bridge it

3 - burn it with fire 

[Tre3]

Mk4 Golf 1.4 Engine, not the car just the engine.

 

Citroen AX GT Turbo. Paper thin metal and lots of plastic. Kinda fun though.

 

But then what do I know? I drive one of these:

 

Vectra c diesel. Bland to drive with shit fiat engine. 120 PS and bankruptcy if (when) it goes wrong.

Cannot wait to get rid of mine.

[Tre3]

Hyundai i30 estate.

latest model Vaux Insignia

Small chevy thing, didn't get it's name

 

all rentals and all forgetable

One of the nicest rentals I had was an i30 TD. Not estate. It was only about 60 miles old when I got it though.

[AndyW201]

Mk5 Escort 1.8 diesel estate. I once saw the mk5 described in a crap car book as 'like picking a grey November day to sit in the shallow end of the river humber eating lard sandwiches'. I wouldnt have described it so generously. Later escorts werent so bad though, the parents had a new mk7 1.6 Si and it was a million miles apart.

 

Mk3 escort 1.1, on the three days of the year when the points and timing were set right, it was quite nippy. The rest of the time though, it most definitely was not.

 

Mercedes Sprinter 308 CDi. The company I work for loves Sprinters and wouldnt use anything else. At a time when we had mk1 312Ds and 311CDis, they were offered a 308CDi LWB cheap from the dealer, and I was asked to take it out for a few days to evaluate it. So what we had here was the biggest heaviest bodyshell with the lowest power output, something like 79 bhp. A run to Wetherby and back to Darlington later and I chucked the keys back and went back to my regular 7 year old rather crispy 312D.

 

Iveco eurocargo with ZF autochronic box. Our Scottish highland run has recently outgrown our one 7.5 tonner, so the company has had to hire another and get an agency driver. Because my run is longer, they have had me driving the Iveco rental truck and the agency guy has been driving the company's MB Atego, to try and keep the miles down on their own truck. Words cannot describe how utterly dogshit the Iveco is. Never seems to be able to decide which gear its meant to be in. And pulling out of junctions and roundabouts is downright dangerous. 'Select drive... depress throttle... aaaaannnnd come on.... come on... shitthey'regonnahitus... vrooom!' Or in semi-auto mode, 'pull away, change gear, wait for another ice age to come and go, and sllllluuuuuuurrrrr into the next gear like a manual with an utterly fucked clutch. As for the horrible interior with a different rattle from every plastic panel... For the last four weeks Ive been back in the Atego (conventional six speed manual and an interior that feels carved out of granite in comparison), they can piss up a rope if they think Im going back to the Iveco...

 

Citroen Xsara 1.4. Im quite a fan of Xsaras but not with that engine. Glacial doesnt begin to cover it.

[RoadworkUK]

R35 Nissan GT-R.

 

Phenomenal in every way aside from the VAX-alike soundtrack, and quick in such a way as I could feel my driving license dissolving in my wallet. My twelve hours had me grinning like a special person.

 

But I'm pretty sure If I drive one again it'll won't seem as mental and I'll need to move onto harder stuff for my thrills, and within a few weeks I'll be forced to graduate via absinthe for breakfast to injecting crack into my eyeballs.

[I_am_Diesel]

New Audi A6 2.0 Diesel. So dull, it was like John Major on wheels.

[pompei]

2003 Mongdeo diesel. Crippled my back despite being the "comfy" Ghia model.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Like others here I jump at the chance to drive anything, just to try it and usually I'm not that surprised ie Mk5 Escorts are horrible and Porsche Cayennes are nice even if I'd never chose to own either.

My problem is when I drive something that I have high expectations of, for instance V10 M5's, hell,any M5 has always been at the top of my Lottery List. So when I got the chance to drive one it should have been a good day, should have.... I hated it ,the gearbox, the lack of torque,the rattly engine. I genuinely thought it was broken,but speaking to the owner afterwards , he told me you get used to it and it all comes together when you're really going for it. Funnily enough he only kept it for a year then chopped it against an Audi S4.

It seems what they say about not meeting your heroes is true.

[Uncle Jimmy]

It seems what they say about not meeting your heroes is true.

Agreed. I met Morrissey once.

[SambaS]

Vauxhall Cavalier MK3

 

EDIT This one.

 

 

Got in one up the scrapyard some ten years later to see if I had dreamt the stupid steering wheel position. Nope.

[Pete-M]

Late spec BMW 335d coupe.

 

Looked great, went well, annoyed the hell out of me. Just didn't get on with it at all.

[barefoot]

Vauxhall Meriva.

[dugong]

MG6.

 

OK, just the one belonging to work. Other MG6s may be OK.

[PhilA]

I have to agree with the mk5 Escort. We had a works 1.8 diesel van, M reg.

 

The seat was uncomfortable, didn't help that the foam had gone through after only 65000 miles. Coupled with that, the steering wasn't adjustable in any way. This meant that the orangutan they had taken the measurements from would have been marginally comfortable, but for driving, the controls were all in the wrong place. I would routinely bruise my kneecaps on the steering column shroud and window winder (why was it nearly on the floor, requiring me to lean forward nose against the steering wheel to reach and operate?). I'm not even tall.

The gearbox was connected to the lever with what felt like elastic bands and springy bamboo. The engine took 1904 Velocette style procedures to get going from cold (insert stupid worn hex key, twist, foot flat down, off, glowplugs on, twist until fire), the steering was designed for a bodybuilder, the SRS airbag equipped steering wheel was fat and bloated, too large to grip and obscured the gauges, the lights were crap and the brakes were made from teak, and the rear load adjusting valve would often stick, resulting in hardly any brakes or comedy pull-on-the-handbrake rear wheel lock-up.

 

that and it rusted out

 

Evil evil vehicle, built to a budget with a design team controlled by the bean-counters. Hateful. Was a happy day when it got bridged.

[Angrydicky]

The 2007 Corsa diesel thing I passed my driving test in. Horrible thing, no power, no visibility, no character. I was so happy when I passed because it meant I could get on with buying and driving proper cars - haven't looked back since!

[DVee8]

A Toyota Auris that i had as a holiday hire car a couple of years ago.

1.4 vvt flat as a fart a gearbox like stirring a bucket of frogs,seating from ikea.

[Inspector Morose]

Not shite but I'll put forward early Honda NSX. Don't get me wrong it was a hugely capable car that was so easy to get on with and drive "briskly" but it just left you feeling that it was having all the fun and you weren't invited. Didn't help that it was an auto too. All in all, as easy to live with than a Micra but unfortunately as involving as one too.

[holbeck]

Up until recently, I would have said Talbot Alpine, the (Chrysler) 1.5S  I had in 1986 was truly shit. 

 

However, the recent Talbot tales on this here forum are making me put on the rose tinted specs.

[junkyarddog]

1988 lada Riva,

 

Just truly awful,the steering column flexed on it's brackets as the wheel was turned.

 

Drove it down to the docks where some unfriendly russians bought it,

and hoicked it aboard their ship by attaching ropes to the wheels and hauling it up with a crane.

They also did the same with an early 80's BMW728.

[Micrashed]

Cant think of anything that was so shite to drive I wouldnt have another one. I didnt like the Maverano and probably wouldnt buy another but if someone gave me one...

 

Shite reliability yes. Vauxhall Zafira with the 1.9CDTi tops that particular bill.

[chaseracer]

Porsche 928 S2.  Lotus Esprit Turbo.  Both massively disappointing.

 

Plod-spec LDV Convoy minibus.  Pre-Riva Lada 1500.  Polski-Fiat 125P.  As expected... 

[500tops]

Corsa D - awful twitchy box with one of the worst gearboxes of eVah

[DS20]

Vauxhall Corsa B with the 1.4 Hi-Torq engine.  Horrible seats, poor refinement, nasty gearbox, and a thirsty, sluggish engine.  The chief redeeming qualities were that visibility wasn't bad, and the rear demister worked efficiently.  

[Lacquer Peel]

MG6.

 

OK, just the one belonging to work. Other MG6s may be OK.

 

Can you "do" a write up on the MG6? I've read a couple of reviews, but not heard much about them in the real world, except delusions from MGUK apologists/lickers.

[Sudsprint]

Spitfire 1500 - shimmying bonnet and lacklustre performance.

 

Alfa Mito - Hideous to look at and with a stupid 'driving style' selector giving 3 options all with ultra light power steering

[Sloth in a bowl]

Early Renault Megane Mk2 (wiggy arse one). The most nasty plastics and feel of any car interior I have had the misfortune to drive and that includes my Kia Pride and the shit gear stick in a new MG ZS that came apart in my hand.

 

Strangely the late one that I had as a rental in Corsica was perfectly fine. 

[HH-R]

For gutless shit, three cars i wish never to lay eyes on again.

 

Mk4 Escort 1.4 lean burn, miserable thing that was, had them by the hundred on the rental fleets.

 

3 cyl Corsa, fleets of the bastards used by BSM, wouldn't pull your foreskin back.

 

Current Fiat 500, especially when fitted with satans gearbox the wonderful automated manual.

 

All three of these were a nightmare to get on the top deck of a transporter, but the Fiat wears the crown of utterly-fuckin-useless-pile-of-wank, even with a run up it couldn't pull itself up onto the top deck, solution was for driver to get a run up and it would come to a grinding halt just balancing on the back of the top deck, driver would stay in car whilst one of us colleagues raised the deck to level or preferably (for safety) tilted slightly forward, then driver could drive it forward to its desired location.

 

Depending where on the lorry it sat, it could be sitting in flip over ''greedy bars'', even though it would be facing downhill to unload it sometimes meant ratchetting the bastard out of the greedy's while some poor bugger sat in the car, sometimes they couldn't even pull themselves out of that minor stop even facing downhill.

 

Even though they were diabolically awful shit, the other two could, with enough of a run up, manage to get up the deck so long as the skids were angled to give enough approach angle for the run.

 

Fart 500 1.2s were on Watchdurg the other night because of hill climbing inability. They got the old Stig to drive it up a hill and it wouldn't... they let a Coarser D pass by and it went up no bother.