Live Scammings as it happens......By Boris Tarpits and his cheesy knob

[castros_bro]

Hi folks,

 

I have advertised my spare conveyance upon a website offering it in exchange for money. I have received one inquiry which I think may be a scammer, he/she/it/they have sent me the following email via the website (so I don't get their full email header), I have removed any identifying bits and substituted silly words also set up an email address in the name of Boris Tarpits just to reply.

 

 

 

 

Good news! Someone's interested in  your cheesy knob, and they'd like to hear from you. Here's what they've got to say...

Craig Fuckface wants to know:

Hello Seller,

Am interested in immediate purchase of your listed ads on Tescos toilet door and i would love to know the actual price you are willing to sell this and do you accept local pickup after the payment has been made. i would like you to tell me the current condition and send me some few pics to my email [email protected]

Hope to read from you as soon as possible

Craig Fuckface

 

 

 

 

 

The Reply

 

 

Hi,

 

The cheesy knob is in excellent condition as it has only done 3ooo miles from new and was serviced plus new tyres and battery about 50 miles ago.  I want £3,000 which is a exceptionally good price for an original cheesy knob  considering the run was only   a cheesy knob.  I'll take some more pictures tomorrow.

 

Regards

 

Boris Tarpits

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Rocket88]

Price of cheesy knobs has gone up..........must get mine out...............

[castros_bro]

Looks like  Craig Fuckface  is eager for a cheesy knob and can't even be bothered to have a test ride for his £3000, here is his epistle.

 

 

 

Thanks for your prompt response and also i really appreciate the bike, am an Naval officer and am currently on a cruise at the moment and am buying the bike as a gift for my dad,i want to make it a surprise bike for him and he won't know anything about the gift until they get delivered to him......So i want you to reassure me that the bike his in good condition as you have described. I can only pay through PayPal. So please kindly get back to me immediately so i can proceed with the payment and after the payment has been done,i have a pick up agent that will come around to pick the bike up immediately after payments.......Please send me a PayPal Money Request now so that i can make payment immediately. 

 

Looking forward to hear from you soon

thanks

Craig.

[Junkman]

Yes, he's in the Nigerian Navy. This is Ye Olde Scamme by now.

[dollywobbler]

Sounds dodgy as hell. See how long you can string him along.

[Bren]

I wonder where he is having his cruise?

 

In the vicinity of the local public lavvies?

[inconsistant]

A naval officer eh? Surprise for his dad eh? I think he might just be the bloke that tried to buy my old man's  foreskin pate  a few years ago.

[castros_bro]

The Boris resposte.....

 

 

 

Hi Craig fuckface,

The paypal account is a works one and I'll need to OK it with my boss first which I cant do till tomorrow. Have you got a name and address and your Seamans card number for the paperwork as they need it for both the Paypal to bank account dump and the bike transfer documentation?

Regards

Boris

[Cavcraft]

He will send you a Paypal link to 'prove' he's paid you by email. You'll (he hopes) send the bike off and find you haven't any money at all.

[chaseracer]

Can we get this to 419 pages?

 

[Bobthebeard]

Looks like  Craig Fuckface  is eager for a cheesy knob and can't even be bothered to have a test ride for his £3000, here is his epistle.

 

 

 

Thanks for your prompt response and also i really appreciate the bike, am an Naval officer and am currently on a cruise at the moment and am buying the bike as a gift for my dad,i want to make it a surprise bike for him and he won't know anything about the gift until they get delivered to him......So i want you to reassure me that the bike his in good condition as you have described. I can only pay through PayPal. So please kindly get back to me immediately so i can proceed with the payment and after the payment has been done,i have a pick up agent that will come around to pick the bike up immediately after payments.......Please send me a PayPal Money Request now so that i can make payment immediately. 

 

Looking forward to hear from you soon

thanks

Craig.

 

Seen this scam before... Almost word for word.

[castros_bro]

Craig fuckface is sending from a timezone -7 hours from me so that'll put him/her/it/they around western China

[richardmorris]

It's a scam. Sounded possible until he mentioned Navy and paypal. Second only to western union for dodgy dealers.

 

It's hard work getting money out of Nigeria even legitimately. I have a few customers at one of the universities and one paid in used £10 notes wrapped in carbon paper, others try chaps/bacs payments and sometimes it works and sometimes the "Trusty bank" (not making the name up!) just mucks it up and nothing is transferred at all. One of the students also kept me waiting for 13months as he explained, because he'd spent the money on a course in Sweden and not my bill but he would pay as soon as he'd saved up again. Got to love them!

[Bobthebeard]

Can we get this to 419 pages?

 

Why not? Beats telly by a long way.....

[Junkman]

It is a well known scam, the bloody internet is full of it.

You are going to be pestered by this git for weeks to come.

[Bobthebeard]

He will send you a Paypal link to 'prove' he's paid you by email. You'll (he hopes) send the bike off and find you haven't any money at all.

Actually this sort of nonsense does actually work for the scammers now and then. If they try it often enough some mug will fall for it. My wife's cousin fell for it once. Cost her £430.

[Bobthebeard]

It is a well known scam, the bloody internet is full of it.

You are going to be pestered by this git for weeks to come.

A bit like having a small accident (that never happened )in your car.... Pestered for 2 years about claiming for whiplash or minor inconvenience....

Its the internet.

[Split_Pin]

My standard response to these:

 

"Twat".

[Cavcraft]

Can we get this to 419 pages?

 

 

 

I'm pretty sure one person can manage that quite comfortably.

[Tayne]

Don't forget to tell Craig Fuckface that the flux capacitor has just been serviced.

Guys like him love to know the state of the FC.

[drum]

Deary me. This officer, and no doubt a gentleman, is trying to buy his dear old dad a surprise bicycle, as one does, and the poor fellow is being accused of being a bounder.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Exciting. Can't wait to see what happens next.

[Jim Bell]

Scammers are so lazy. You'd think they'd come up with something new and interesting if they're depending on your cash.

[Jim Bell]

 

 

 

 

Jaguar XJ for sale.

Pic taken today.

Need quick sale as I'm dying of bad aids.

£125 today or I scrap it. PM me for paypal address.

[Felly Magic]

Don't forget to mention you topped up the spark generator with a fresh bag and it's had a recent donkey flange service, but it does need a new St Elmo's pipe trench

[Jim Bell]

Don't forget to mention you topped up the spark generator with a fresh bag and it's had a recent donkey flange service, but it does need a new St Elmo's pipe trench

 

Glow plugs just been refilled and has a VW Beetle radiator fitted.

 

No timewasters

[Parky]

Make sure he knows this one doesn't have the Titanium throstle sprockets as they weren't available until they brought out the Derek Robinson shop steward of the year special edition the following year

[castros_bro]

Delay in live international counter espionage due to trsffic jism on M25

[fordperv]

*Hello castros_Bro, i am acting on the behalf of the clean account society may I please have your account details as we fear you may have pigeons in your bank account

 

*in mock African accent

[richardmorris]

What about the state of the flux capacitor?