eBay Lexicon

[EssDeeWon]

Here is a new one I have just stumbled across.

 

"Tax expires 01/07/2014"

 

Since when do tax discs expire on the first of the month? This type of crap just reeks of desperado even when selling sub grand chod.

[anonymous user]

 

The Chrome Bumpers shine nicely with some age related patina

That'll be rust then

[Junkman]

Show car - an abomination that not even its mother would love, made from a pristine original, the modifications being irreversible.

 

Real head turner - ...

[twosmoke300]

And undriveable

[Spiny Norman]

Here is a new one I have just stumbled across.

 

"Tax expires 01/07/2014"

 

Since when do tax discs expire on the first of the month? This type of crap just reeks of desperado even when selling sub grand chod.

 

Technically you could argue tax does expire on the first of the month, and not the last day of the previous one.

If I have a tax disc that has 30:6:14 on it I'd assume my car was taxed until the last femto-second of the 30th, and only became untaxed when the clock ticked over, but maybe that's just me.

 

The way I word an ad would be 'Taxed till July'

[EssDeeWon]

Na I dont agree, I see it as the dealer trying hard to squeeze some more time out of an expiring tax disc. Once it gets to midnight the car is untaxed and illegal on a public highway so if you dont have a driveway or need to use the car on the following day you need to weigh in for tax on the 30th.

 

I prefer to just say taxed until end of June etc to be clear   But leaving some tax in a car usually helps it sell 5 fold.

[Junkman]

I drove to the post office to buy a tax disc today (the last one ever in my life, thanks God) and nobody battered an eyelid.

[Sloth in a bowl]

 

 

Real head turner - ...

 

...and dare I say it, quite a few stomachs.

 

(Yes, I know the original was 'Heads turned...')

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

The tax disc expiry date thing might be because the vehicle enquiry website phrases it that way now. Tax disc itself says 31/1/15, but the website says "expires 1st February 2015". 

[EssDeeWon]

I drove to the post office to buy a tax disc today (the last one ever in my life, thanks God) and nobody battered an eyelid.

 

Thats because you is The Junkman

[sierraman]

Here's one - My dad owned this car for 20 years - its had 20 years of weld upon weld repairs and a good £50 worth of P38 and chicken wire stuffed in it.

[Split_Pin]

Here's one I read tonight and he's looking for a swap:

 

"Clutch just needs a tighten or maybe replace after a few more miles"

 

The car in question requires a subframe drop to change the clutch and it also has a slave cylinder, £600 job.

[Partridge]

BMW M5/Escort RS/T5-R/MG-ZT/Type R/ etc etc etc "Lookalike" - Has a really shit bodykit.

[maxpower]

Need the space for new car:    the wife says i need to get rid of this heap of shite or i am back living with my parents.

[Charlie Croker]

I'm not a mechanic..........usualy at the bottom of a long ad stating loads of semi technical terms.

 

I'm not a mechnic = You ARE a lying bastard.

[Felly Magic]

'One elderly owner, low miles'. On it's 4th clutch and covered in parking dings, and the HG is going south....

[twosmoke300]

And never serviced cos of low miles

[pilninggas]

Fitted a 1.8GTi engine to it, but now decided to sell:

 

-The insurance company won't touch it; I thought I'd end up with a GTi on the cheap, but the insurance is 3x what the actual GTi would be.

-The new engine is a wrong 'un.

-It might have a GTi engine, but it's still Refugee spec and my mates are taking the piss.

[EssDeeWon]

On a 12 year old car...

 

"Only 126k miles from new so quite low miles for year"

 

........which ever way you look at it, its still done 126k miles Mr dip shit.

[Split_Pin]

Usually applies to cars with alloys or such like:

 

"Wheels not included in the sale"

 

Skinflinted bastarding, jumper-wearing gypo.

[brickwall]

Light welding needed for MOT - Oh fuck, massive hole!

[HH-R]

No mention of mileage (more on Autotrader than eBay) = it's been to the moon and back ten times over and no-one will touch it with a bargepole.

[EssDeeWon]

^Quite often dealers leave the mileage blank on Autotrader, but wft? Surely people will only ring up and ask? I guess its the old game of getting the punter on the phone then at least you can waffle on about how mileage isn't important anymore with modernz etc etc "they all do 200k no problem sir"...which still begs the question....Why not just list it in the advert then.

 

I currently need a cheap'ish car, and am determined to avoid using a dealer . 

[Felly Magic]

'Quackin Mowtah', as beloved of the fat Mockney, translated to floorpan cracking in several places and covered with cheap bodge welds and an MOT dodgier than Arfur Daley

[STUNO]

Just read of a 1995 "ute" that was sold with 11,000 km on it, new owner went to collect it, dug it out from under the rubbish it was buried in and hopped in for a look. The odo was reading 1100 km !

Also I recently bought a 1 lady owner, low mileage, regularly serviced car sight unseen. And it was. It was even being sold " on behalf of " and the ad was done by a third person.

[Sloth in a bowl]

No mileage on advert - We haven't decided what to clock it to yet

 

Low mileage for year - Low mileage for a taxi cab for the year

[Junkman]

Rule 217 b of Autoshite bible.................it's NEVER  a loose wire. In fact . "as simple as a loose wire" should be in the ebay mongspeak thread.

Well, that's where it is now.

[cort16]

I drove past a car dealership today and outside they had an 12 plate Fiat 500 up for £9995. On the window scribbled in windolene or what ever was written. 

"This car was £13995, now £9995 you save £4000!

No I fucking don't!. This car is 2 years old a new one is 0 years old. That's called depreciation.

[andy18s]

just gone up on farcebook

 

 

Eny 1 no eny good sights to find out y a scooter dnt work peugeot elyseo 150 spits fule bk out carb sounds like its spitting seems to av a good spark compreshion seems ok eny idears pleast 2 stroke in black it iz ???

 

really give up on some folk

[HH-R]

On the mileage thing, when on Autotrader I might look at something fairly high but weigh it up against the rest of the advert, FSH or very low owners or whatever, there's also what they think is high mileage mightn't be what I think is excessive. If there is no data then I will 100% assume it's a crock and not even worth ringing up about.