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Tales from the Two Poster.


Barry Cade

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I'm not doing MOT's yet, as we are still waiting on the Man from Del VOSA to say yes- the site has to be signed off and I've still to do my demo test, so for now I've been back fettling,fixing and generally F*^&ing about.

 

As it's a brand new garage it was a bit slow to begin with- couple of exhausts and a few tyres. Set of fronts on a VW pickup thing, where it took a bloody big hammer and some wood to get the wheels off the thing.. WHY does no one in dealerships use Coppaslip on hubs..? Full system on a 54 plate Fiesta diesel- where the bolts on the front pipe are upside down..Ford seems to love putting bolts in the hard way- Mondeo wishbone bolts being the start of it.Couple of services on Golf TDI's- run of the mill...

 

Then came an E46 Coop for MOT repairs- front to rear brake pipes, a wishbone, some anti roll bar bushes, new studs in the manifold joint (all of them had rotted away...) and a tyre. I actually like doing brake pipes so no real drama's, wishbone was straight forward and D bushes a breeze, but the bar itself had worn, so had to be "built up" with some tape. The engine was poorly and the gearbox ill- both blowing oil out of every orifice, and it had no power at all,and  the front wings were rusty . Not a good example.

 

Got sent to another branch for a few days as they were snowed under.  Rover 75 MOT repairs- front brake pipes, tyres, exhaust, and an anti roll bar link. I love 75's but some of the design is a bit pish. Anti roll bar links are a pain to change as there is very little access to the top nut- big blue spanner and a shovel gets them off quick smart though. The air box/filter housing is a PITA and the battery/pump and filters have to be taken off/moved to get to the ABS unit and the pipes. Another one that wasn't a good example and was fairly tatty. Had a TV though!

 

Service on a Jeep Patriot, which surprised me by being made in Mexico and fitted with a VW TDI engine? Then on to  BMW X5 which wouldn't let the owners in. The door handles on these are stupid and are a REALLY common problem. Stripped the door and got a new inner unit from BMW- about 90 quid I think. There is a real weak point in them and most X5 owners have had to replace a handle at some point. Then a Corsa with a faulty boot release button,and a Focus with an engine management light on.

 

Been a great start to being back on the floor , and nice working with people again, rather than being in a van with Jeremy Vine and Steve Wright. I do miss the radio though as we are not allowed to listen- PRS say we have to give them hundreds of pounds to listen to it, and boss says no. :(

 

MOT tales will start soon hopefully on a new thread, but I'll update here with any common issues/unusual motors/drivel as and when it happens.

 

 

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What's PRS? Never heard of that before.

It's like a public performance licence for music radio, eg, having it playing in a shop where the great unwashed can hear it. Bloody joke, pushed by greedy artists like Lars Shortarse Ulrich from Metallica.

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What's PRS? Never heard of that before.

If you play the radio in a place deemed to be "public", you have to fork out to PRS so that they can pay royalties to the performers.

 

Singers/bands who get played on the radio a lot get quite a bit of cash from PRS. I read somewhere how much Slade get every Christmas from that omnipresent song they did. Can't remember the figure now, but it was humungous.

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One of the things I'm most looking forward to about the prospect of a new(-ish) van is having a working radio.  I hate being surrounded by just diesel rattle and the banging of bread racks.  The radio's on in the bakery in the mornings when I'm loading up, but tuned to a local independant.  When I go in to clean the floor I bring my own so I can have Radio 2.

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Singers/bands who get played on the radio a lot get quite a bit of cash from PRS. I read somewhere how much Slade get every Christmas from that omnipresent song they did. Can't remember the figure now, but it was humungous.

 

Oh, just half a million or something.... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/music-news/10510135/Slade-earn-500000-every-Christmas-in-royalties.html

 

I wouldn't mind, but that's half a million per year for a song that makes me want to push people's heads through shop windows.

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I hate the radio on at work. I would pay hundreds for silence!

This. When I was in the Civil Service we had a radio on in the office and it put me round the bend. The station of choice was Cool FM, a Northern Ireland commercial station, which played the same 2 hour playlist. Endlessly. We were all asked our opinion prior to the introduction of the office radio, and I said that as a Government Department dealing with the public by phone we were supposed to be professional. Some bird wailing "I touch myself" in the background wasn't going to create that impression.

 

Inevitably, being Belfast, the Tims wouldn't listen to Radio 1, and the Jaffas wouldn't have RTE 2FM.

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This. When I was in the Civil Service we had a radio on in the office and it put me round the bend. The station of choice was Cool FM, a Northern Ireland commercial station, which played the same 2 hour playlist. Endlessly. We were all asked our opinion prior to the introduction of the office radio, and I said that as a Government Department dealing with the public by phone we were supposed to be professional. Some bird wailing "I touch myself" in the background wasn't going to create that impression.

 

Inevitably, being Belfast, the Tims wouldn't listen to Radio 1, and the Jaffas wouldn't have RTE 2FM.

 

There's absolutely nothing worse than Cool FM. Apart from perhaps Hugo Duncan if you're not a farmer/lorry driver/from Randalstown.

 

Don't listen to anything but Radio 2 me. Have to agree with eddyramrod as well, Cumbrian local stations are all shite too. Can only get CFM and the Bay here. Both a bit crap.

 

Go far enough into the Wesht of Ireland though, and you start to get death notices to cringeworthy string instrument jingles after every news bulletin. That's a whole new level.

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Oh, just half a million or something.... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/music-news/10510135/Slade-earn-500000-every-Christmas-in-royalties.html

 

I wouldn't mind, but that's half a million per year for a song that makes me want to push people's heads through shop windows.

 

Be fair if somebody offered you a big stack of cash to invent something that sent the general public mad for 4 weeks each year, would you turn them down?

Bollocks would you, you'd take the money and laugh the most evil laugh you could muster.

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Now that I have a DAB equipped motor, and over 7 stations to choose from, I tend to listen to either Kraftwerk or Pink Floyd on my aye pod.

 

Funniest thing is, my bosses spend squillions of quids on advertising on the local station, but are not allowed to listen to it without paying .. Ironic.

 

Today was mostly tyre fitting, indespersed with telephony messages from a fellow workmate in another branch, who has just purchased a most excellent Fiat X1/9, 1300 flavour, and from the first year of production. I am not at all thinking of having another. I'm not.

 

 

I AM NOT.

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PRS get paid an absolute kings ransom by all radio stations, so it's grossly unfair that small businesses are also expected to cough up.

 

The right they have to collect the cash is legally dubious, but they are persistent and highly irritating.

 

They sit listening to the local stations giving mentions to folk at work then go round to those workplaces and demand cash. It's a lose-lose as usually it means the workplace simply switches off and the station loses listeners, plus PRS don't get any cash.

 

Even worse is that if you do actually buy one of the shark infested licences, you'll then be hassled by PPL to buy one of their licences too, as they also hold copyright.

 

But of course, we should have sympathy for the poor starving rock stars.

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The prs building is really lavish as well there's a really posh restaurant in the basement that sells massively subsidised fancy meals to the staff for 3 quid a go.

When prs really pushed a few years ago a few enterprising individuals sold prs licenses to most of the cafés and pubs in leith only they weren't working for prs .

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I loved the radio in the workshop and we had some interesting devices, some from as far back as the 1960's. Back in the day when I loved the 'Pop Music' I was happy to hear the same song over and over, not now though. The best station ever though was Atlantic 252. Legendarily cool LW station that me and my mate Alan loved to listen to, especially when messing around with lorries at his dad's yard.

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I used to listen to Atlantic 252 around 1990, if I was somewhere Radio1 couldn't reach.  (Yes, even I used to listen to R1, and as late as my 30s too!)  I remember when Mad Donna got to number one with Hanky Panky, R1 didn't seem keen to play it (a bit risque maybe?) but 252 played it to death.  I haven't heard another song of hers that I would listen to so readily.  It's very much her Forgotten Hit.

 

Has Atlantic gone now?

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When I ran a small business a few years ago I was contacted by PRS. They asked if I had a radio in the workplace. I explained that I was an electrician, had no workplace as such, and only had a van. They then asked how many employees I had. Told them just one, an apprentice. They informed me that if the apprentice travelled in the van with me and listened to the radio then I must pay the PRS fee.!

I didn't pay it of course, as that is just silly. Never heard back from the chancers either.

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Funny all the grumps about radio repeating songs, yet love for atlantic 252 which had the most repetitive playlist ever. 90 minute seperation between songs if I remember rightly .....

 

they only had about 15 songs, in fairness it was 15 good songs tho!

 

Tiff I'm glad you arent allowed the radio in your garage, as if its the one I think it is they spend all their ad budget on the rival station to the one I work at :-D

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Tiff, are mechanics generally expected to supply their own tools when employed in a garage?

 

I'm sure* it will be just like that programme The Garage about English* mechanics in the Algarve led by Jock?

Oh yes- some guys have well over 20 grands worth of tools in a box that cost more than a new Dacia Sandero... Me? A small box of tools, which is ram packed full of mismatched stuff, but never been stuck yet! I've never got caught up in this Snap on love and only 30 quid a week crap. I've got better things to spend my small monthly allowance on. I always say to these guys- you know you could have bought a van for far less than your toolbox, then you wouldn't need to push it around....

 

When you work with the right folk, the banter is much better than Jocks place. I've been getting ribbed all day about Fiat copying the MR2 design, so I refused to test his Nissan Patrol, which at 2820kg, would become a class 7 if he sat in it. I've missed that!

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