Your Shite Room 101

[warren t claim]

One car only and this is mine. I'm sure the mk2 Toyota avensis is a worthy and capable car but I honestly can't think of any circumstances that I'd like to own one. Don't get me wrong, if a tidy example came up at the right price I'd be happy to senselessly profiteer out of short term ownership but I know that It'd never find a place in my heart. They only seem to exist for the purpose of providing transport for drunk minicab users and civil engineers who lack ambition.

 

Sorry. Pull the lever and put them in there.

 

Your turn, what do you want to put in the shiters Room 101?

[Micrashed]

The MINI.

 

I love the shape, I love the design, I love the way they drive.

 

But GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY its 50+ years since the first ones rolled out of the factory and they were unreliable rusty things, why in the name of all that is HOLY can BMW not make something reliable that also doesnt rust.

The new MINIs are just as shonky it seems as the old ones, but without the fix with a hammerability of the old ones.

 

BMW - make reliable MINIs or burn the fuckers

[Paul Dupart]

Nissan Micra.

 

If I could afford to buy a car just to ceremoniously destroy it Clarkson fashion, this would be the one.

 

They're compact, economical, reliable, minimalist, sensible, easy to drive, uninvolving, etc. and for all these reasons I dislike them utterly.  And for this reason they often attract the worst of drivers.  Present company excepted, of course!

 

 

[pandamonium]

Renault Megane Scenic

 

 

Do I need to explain? Horrid to drive, horrid to work on and just not 'nice' in any way.

 

 

And I'm with Paul above on the Micra, especially the K10

[skoda_fan]

What they said^. Also Citroen Xsara Picasso.

[brickwall]

Fiat X19

[DSdriver]

Mitsubishi Galant 1980s model

I had to rent one once when my CX estate died. It was just so bland.

The epitome of Autoshite I suppose but I wouldn't want one.

[Wilko220]

I assume we're talking about shite here, not new Audis, Porsche Cayennes and the like.

 

In which case, my three would be:

Toyota Previa (only ever round here seem to be driven - badly - by very overweight people with blue badges)

Chrysler PT Cruiser (possibly the most eye-burningly hideous looking piece of machinery I have ever looked at)

City Rover (for all it represents about the decline of a once great marque)

[philibusmo]

Renault Clio Mk3

My Mum had a brand new one for a few years, almost exactly like the one above and it was horrid.

For a start it was hideously ugly, with casters from a sofa for wheels - despite being 15", the car made even 16" look tiny. It was slow in 1.4 form and not very economical either, the steering felt weird like it was set in Jelly, the gear change was rubbery and yet also notchy, the seats were uncomfortable in the front and back breaking in the back. The engine note was tiresome the boot lid would pop open of its own accord, the CD player had rubbish sound quality and the door apertures were about half an inch lower than expected at any time so I was always clonking my head on them - a flaw I have never known with any other car. Oh and it was duller than a bucket of dull coloured dull wall paper paste made by Dull Wallpaper Paste Ltd.

A car with only vaguely redeaming qualities. I liked the dash vents, the rear windscreen shape (like an Alfa Romeo 145) and it was allegedy good at not killing you in an accident. Otherwise fucking hideous in every conceivable way and I dearly wish that every example except one is destroyed with just the single one left as a warning for future car designers.

 

 

EDIT: If this isn't shite enough for this website then the vote goes to the Nissan Bluebird ( the shape like Retrogeezer was selling recently) I can't quite put my finger on why but I really don't like them.

[ShiteRider]

2nd vote for the PT cruiser, just absolute shit in every way.

[Novanick1]

citroen 2cv and rover 100, just utter shite

[dollywobbler]

The original Mini. Proof that you don't need to actually be any good to be popular. It's the automotive equivalent of the Spice girls. It was horribly compromised by a horribly stubborn designer who refused to listen to anyone else, cost BMC a fortune and pretty much failed to make any profit durings its very lengthy career. It's seen as a 20th Century great by some people - why? It was rubbish! 

 

Novanick - I suggest you hold fire on your 2CV slating until you're actually old enough to drive one.

[Wilko220]

^^ !!!!!

 

Rover 100s are God's own mode of transport.

 

I can't imagine ever wanting to own a 2CV but I'd love the opportunity to drive one. A bit like Reliant 3-wheelers in that respect...

[Novanick1]

^^ !!!!!

 

Rover 100s are God's own mode of transport.

 

I can't imagine ever wanting to own a 2CV but I'd love the opportunity to drive one. A bit like Reliant 3-wheelers in that respect...

its just my opinion, the 2cv is one of my least favorite cars ever but id quite like to drive one some day, they look quite fun to drive 

[Novanick1]

another one just by the looks the citroen ami, i dont like the way it looks,

[cms206]

Mercs. All of them from the Sprinter down. They do nothing for me and although I can see why people like 2CVs or Reliants, I can see no reason a Merc is considered any better than anything else to the point they are.

[Negative Creep]

The Maxi. It just looks utterly shit and I have no desire to ever own one

[wuvvum]

Mk6 (or whatever the fuck the last shape was) Escort.  I can't think of anything to recommend these.  I had a 1.4 Bonus that I bought from an auction - that was rubbish, but so basic it almost had an endearing quality to it.  So I kidded myself that a higher-spec one would be a pleasant thing to run around in, and went out and bought a 1.8i Ghia.  It was hopeless.  Not fast, not good on fuel, didn't handle, vague steering, uncomfortable seats, unpleasant engine note.  And it rusted like buggery.  The only way I'd have another one would be in van form, and that's purely because nobody else has made a van that size for years.

[John F]

It's just my opinion, the 2CV is one of my least favourite cars ever but I'd quite like to drive one some day, they look quite fun to drive 

 

Edited for grammar and getting rid of fucking awful American spelling...

[John F]

There are quite a few cars in the shite category that I'd like to remove from existence, including the god-awful Metro / Rover 100 travesty, but if I'm only allowed to send one vehicle into Room 101 - and I can't cheat by saying e.g. "everything French" - then it's another vote for the nasty bloated Citroen fucking Xsara fucking Picasso.

 

With the added proviso that its grunting mong driver, fat scowling wife & revolting sticky children aren't allowed to get out first, they're going in too

[Micrashed]

Nissan Micra.

 

If I could afford to buy a car just to ceremoniously destroy it Clarkson fashion, this would be the one.

 

They're compact, economical, reliable, minimalist, sensible, easy to drive, uninvolving, etc. and for all these reasons I dislike them utterly.  And for this reason they often attract the worst of drivers.  Present company excepted, of course!

Dont mind me, I feel the same way - read my article in issue 2 of BrownMag

http://issuu.com/brownmag/docs/brownmag_issue_two'>

 

I currently have 

£1500

In my "running away" fund to finance a new set of wheels - trouble is I have no idea what I want. Well I did see a nice Focus last week but the wife and I "had words" so it didnt happen ( now its sold).

[RedSparrow]

I hate all Ford Cortinas and Sierras, as well as Vauxhall Cavalier Mk3's.

I just find them utterly character and soul-less.

 

Sorry.

[chaseracer]

This thread will not end well.  Where's that pic of the silver Vectra...?

 

 

[Junkman]

The Jaguar E-Type. What an overhyped butt ugly piece of shit. Also, like this butt ugly Citroen DS and this butt ugly Ford Sierra, it helped to ruin car styling forever.

[John F]

This thread will not end well.  Where's that pic of the silver Vectra...?

 

 

 

[Rusty Pelican]

Proper Mini,s , hideous rusty over hyped efforts .

Escrot MK 6 , Even more hideous worthless grot boxes with zero styling and now with no  rear arches left. they need to be extinct as soon as possible 

[purplebargeken]

BMW X5's, driven by knob heads who don't know any better. Outer is the size of the Titanic, inner is the the size of a loo bowl. Hateful, stupid, pointless arsemobiles.

 

Big Audi's, especially around North London, mostly driven by illiterate, non-inglis speaking Polish gypsies with no discernible income.

[Hendry]

Kia Rios, except the very latest shape.

 

They are ugly, the paint on them is crap, I've seen 20 year old skips with less scratches, scrapes and scuffs on them, the interior quality is crap, plastics scratch if you look at them the wrong way, the driving position is awful, the seats are uncomfortable, they eat tyres and wiper blades, they are poorly equipped and also oddly equipped, the base models have an mp3 CD player and USB port and traction control but no central locking which is a PITA on a 5 door car, the wiper and indicator stalks are the wrong way around and they aren't even all that good value new or used, £5500 for an 11 plate base model ex rental one with fucked paintwork when a base Clio/Corsa/Panda/Punto/C3/I10/Micra/207/Ibiza could be had for th same money and all are better equipped and better cars in every way, even the hateful 207.

[CreepingJesus]

'Nother vote for the 2CV. If Room 101 is a garage, then that's what'll be in it, when I open the door. THE HORROR!

The duck-billed platypus of cars; in it's own species/genus/whatever, and it can fucking stay there, well away from me. And yes, I have driven one, mine is an informed opinion.

70's BL 'masterpieces' close second.

[Cavcraft]

Ford Ka.

 

I absolutely despise these hateful, horrible fucking things, even more than Golfs. Shitty, tinny, rattly, wheezy, ugly, fucking rubbish that were cobbled together with only price in mind and fuck all else.

Girly, wanky, tosspottery, nasty vile heaps of rust with absolutely NO redeeming features at all. I couldn't give a flying one how cheap to run they are, nor how they may/not handle.

I believe that owning one of these must be akin to marking your house with a big bastarding fluorescent yellow X and painting 'The Jimmy Saville museum, curator G. Glitter, unaccompanied kids welcome' on the front wall. 

 

I actually think I'd prefer to hammer the wheels square on a bike, remove the seat and my clothes and ride drunk down several flights of stairs and a cobbled path than own or even be seen in a Ka.

So I don't like them very much.