Stupid things you've seen on the road today

[jonny69]

I wondered if this might turn into one of those long-running threads. I see utter stupid behaviour every day of the week on the roads and as soon as I think I've seen it all I'm amazed to see something even more utterly ridiculous the next day. People's stupidity is exceeded only by people's stupidity. So I thought I'd start a thread so we can share our experiences

 

This is inspired by a drive through central London and the burbs at the weekend, which was a torrent of shit driving and after a 2 hour onslaught I was knackered...

 

Today:

 

Me on bicycle. I was overtaken by a woman indicating left, halfway over the central white line so she'd clearly seen me. Then, as soon as she was *just* in front of me, still partway over the other side of the road, she slammed on the brakes and turned left into a side road and I had to hit the brakes and swerve to avoid her.

 

Then:

 

Two cars in front of me and we're all doing about 25 (I ride quite fast). The car up front hits the brakes and almost comes to a halt, causing the one in front of me to nearly hit him up the back. Then indicates left and rolls up behind a tarmac-spreading truck sat on a double yellow.

 

More from me tomorrow. What have you seen today?

[dollywobbler]

http://www.myroadrage.co.uk/

[DSdriver]

Just the other day I had a bloke on a trials bike overtaking the traffic coming towards me with his front wheel about a foot off the ground.

Soon to be organ donor?

[warren t claim]

Yesterdays incident takes some beating.

 

I've been working nights driving 8 wheel tippers supplying stone and muckaway services for overnight motorway repairs on the M62. As part of a convoy of about 8 tippers we were all slowing down to enter the works access point on the motorway when a couple of total pricks in the worlds most shonkyest ex Blue Arrow mk3 Transit try to overtake us. Unfortunately for them they didn't realise we were pulling into the roadworks and managed to get themselves off the live carriageway and into Balfour Beatty land which is the former lane 3 of the motorway. At this point the cretins make things worse for themselves by trying to get past the four slow moving trucks in front of them by using the central reservation as some sort of improvised overtaking lane. Bad idea! The reason why we were tipping there is because the contractors are replacing the crash barrier and the central reservation is now just loose soil and deep mud! The Transit is now axle deep in topsoil and wont budge.... The Highway Agencies traffic wombles are called out to see if they can shift them but by the time they arrive our two Transiteers have totally forgotten which one of them was driving and are refusing to speak anything other that Romanian . Needless to say there is now a Transit awaiting crushing in Egertons recovery yard and two east Europeans in police custody awaiting an interpreter...

[autofive]

yesterday afternoon:

An audi a4 pulls out from a garage in front of me, im travelling at roughly 50mph, i brake hard and he continues at about 35mph.

onto a straight stretch of road (broken white line) i pull out to overtake him, he edges over the white line and puts on his right indicator while accellerating

I manage to overtake him and pull in before a corner (i can see around the corner and the road is clear) a4 driver takes exception to this and tries to overtake me on the corner while flashiing his lights and sounding the horn, Im travelling at about 55mph by this time and he struggles to get alongside me. Then a car pulls out from a driveway, heading towards us, a4 driver shits himself, pulls in behind me (still flashing lights, sounding horn and now making garath hunt motions at me) then follows me into a 30mph zone sitting about 3 feet off my rear bumper. He tries several times to overtake in the 30mph zone (im doing about 25-30, just to piss him off) but each time oncoming traffic forces him back. We approach a T-junction, i slow down, he pulls out and approaches the junction on the wrong side of the road and forces oncoming traffic to stop, he stops alongside me and gestures and shouts at me while I grin and nod at him. The junction is clear and i could pull out, but as theres now a couple of oncoming cars waiting (and no cars behind me) i sit there and let him get even madder and more red faced while screaming about old bangers and bad drivers. Eventually he realises im not going to move so reverses and pulls in behind me. I still sit there, until I see a bus is approaching on the mainroad, then i pull out and he tries to follow but the bus forces him to stop. He caught up with me a couple of miles down the road, hes still redfaced and shouting at me, but cant overtake. he follows me until i stop at the shop, and he stops and gets out. hes 50 in a grey suit red tie. I get out, he thinks better of it and gets back in his car and drives away.

 

 

This is not an isolated incident. Audi drivers seem to think they own the road, and take great exception if someone else overtakes them, especially in a shitter

[scaryoldcortina]

^ It's a shame you didn't have a fruit machine ready to lob out the back at him

[autofive]

^ It's a shame you didn't have a fruit machine ready to lob out the back at him

 

same road actually

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Just the usual this morning. Doddering old farts doing 35 on a 50 mph main road who brake for every corner and take 3 hours to g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y turn into a side turning, hopeless Women drivers shuffle steering/random braking, idiots who whizz around roundabouts without indicating etc. I have virtually no trouble with Audi/BMW reps. Eastern Europeans are a menace, various shagged and uninsured old Passats being driven very badly - and with no consequence. About time the law cracked down on this shower of shit.

The standard of driving in the UK is appalling, and varies between 'shouldn't have a licence' to competent.

[maxpower]

a queue of about 10 idiots crossing the road.... about 8 of them with their necks craned looking at their blackberry phones instead of looking to see if it was safe to cross...

 

1 out of every 2 people seem to have got into this habit...... they should all be fined for fuggin jaywalking

[barefoot]

How about a youth on a bike coming towards me on a bike the wrong way down a one way street?

I was signaling right & just stopped to see what the twat was going to do next.

Very kindly he indicated that he would top whilst I turned in front of him.

 

Slowed down to crawl over speed cushion in 1st gear, as I do in the old residential area by the school.

Was overtaken on the bump by a mother on her way to pick up child.

I'm thinking here that mayhap if all the mothers didn't drive like idiots & stayed at home between 3 & 4, then the kids could possibly walk home?

[John F]

Yesterday afternoon I saw some chav scum benefits-monger on a (probably stolen) pit bike, no helmet, no number plate, etc. come tearing out of a side road and - without even looking - shoot across an enpty lane of traffic, through the queue of cars I was sat in, then drive up onto the pavement past a few pedestrians and disappear round the back of some flats.

 

If there was any justice in the world this little shit would have collided with another social leech chav bastard and the pair of them would have left their microscopic brains splattered all over the road.

[Guest]

A female driving instructor with a female learner driver at the wheel .

 

Am i the only person that see's the problem here .

[Cavcraft]

Yet another wanker (in a Citroen this time) overtaking me on a virtually blind bend on a bridge because I stick to the speed limit on a notoriously bad road.

[chaseracer]

Yet another wanker (in a Citroen this time)...

Sorry about that, Billy...

[R9UKE]

This is not an isolated incident. Audi drivers seem to think they own the road, and take great exception if someone else overtakes them, especially in a shitter

 

I can't agree with this more. Audi seems to have the largest population of drivers who are complete cocks. Usually in Glitzy LED-ed A4s. This is why I love driving understated french power... it quickly wipes that stupid grin of their face when they realise your oddball Renault can flatten their TDi.

 

Also - is it just a coincidence, or does everyone who gets in an A4 just morph into a twat? Must try it sometime. Is the anger just because they're driving such a generic, vile, character-less shit heap????

[M'coli]

A female driving instructor with a female learner driver at the wheel .

 

Am i the only person that see's the problem here .

Other than the poor grammar, yes.

[andrew e]

People dressed as Ninja's on pushbikes. With no lights.

[simmo]

Oh no, I drive an Audi A4, on the plus side though I could be on for the AS stereotyping hat-trick

[Des]

A female driving instructor with a female learner driver at the wheel .

 

Am i the only person that see's the problem here .

Other than the poor grammar, yes.

Yeah and that's sexist that is. You can't assume they're shit just cos they is all tarts, and when some stupid ugly slapper, so fat that their eye sockets are distorted into narrow slits with excess make up sploodged in to highlight their gargoyle deformities, crams itself into a modern hatchback with a scattering of big thick pillars, porthole windows and oversize headrests, it's physically impossible for them to drive safely.

[autofive]

Oh no, I drive an Audi A4, on the plus side though I could be on for the AS stereotyping hat-trick

 

 

its odd that A6 and A8 drivers dont suffer from the same trait

maybes its just A4 drivers that feel agreived with the world because they were passed over for promotion

[Lankytim]

The other week I had some clown in a Volvo right up my arse, dangerously close. I dunno what I had done to upset him but every turn I made he followed me. Eventually I made it back home and jumped out to remonstrate with the guy, it was then that I saw that the Volvo was connected to the rear of my car via an A frame which i'd forgotten about. How I laughed!.

[simmo]

Mine is the old shape A4 and I had a late A80 a while back, I don't like the look of the newer ones, I think the styling is more aggressive. Is this a factor if we think that what we drive influences our driving or are bad drivers drawn to a type? I honestly don't drive any different to when I had a Maestro Van; read into that what you like

Even though I have had a career rewarded with continued under achievement I am still quite pragmatic.

[Albert Ross]

Fairly uneventful 4 mile commute home this evening. The car in front of me overtook a Volvo on a roundabout, but I thought nothing of it.... until I got stuck behind the old trout. 22mph.... in a 30.... yeah, there are cars both sides, and traffic going both ways, but listen love, a bus coming the other way will not pull into your side of the road in about 6 feet dead, so there's no need to slam your brakes on to go 8 mph at every parked fucking car. Also, when going past the shops, your reaction to THIS, was silly to say the least.

She's the lead car (22mph.....) in a REALLY long queue of traffic (wonder why) and I'm right behind her. Traffic coming the other way, the lead car pulls into the side of the road, and driver gets out to go to the shop. Van on our side of the road already stopped. Volvo driver stops. No reason to, other than the reason (I think) there's a truck stopped the other side of the road, and she WILL NOT go through the gap. (About 2 feet wider than her car) I got out and tapped on her window. "Are you going to move love, there's about 500 people behind you want to go home....." She looked away, and folded her arms, lips pursed in a "Cat's Arse" expression. Right..... The blus car is as yet unoccopied. I strode purposefully to the van in front, and casually tapped on the window.. FUCK! The bloke was built like a bastard Rhino.... Erm (squeaks) "Any chance you could shfit your van mate, this dozy tart won't come past you as she's driving the fucking Titanic I reckon." Him.... looks sideways at me, looks in his mirror, grins, and pops the Tranny on the kerb, no issue. Phew. Thumbs up, away we go. Or do we. Nope, dozy bint decides she's waiting for the truck to move as it's front bumper is overhanging the white line by a couple of microns. Luckily, the blue car shifted, and the truck followed it. So she's off. at 15 mph. Fuck it.... I went down a side street, and cut her off at the pass. For all I know she's still on her way to the next village. Got home drank red wine, fell asleep on the sofa till now. Wife gone to bed, 2 out of 3 cats asleep, I need a bath.

[eddyramrod]

The standard of driving in the UK is appalling,

 

You want to see what I have to contend with over here! I almost miss the wet and windy north west...

 

DSDriver, we have bike-wheelie mongs like that in EVERY village and on EVERY main road, at ALL times of day and night. And here they don't bother to wear a helmet...

[Lord Sterling]

This is not an isolated incident. Audi drivers seem to think they own the road, and take great exception if someone else overtakes them, especially in a shitter

 

Reminds me when I was coming back from work the other day. I overtook some fat dozy blonde bint driving a new Audi A6, she was straggling the white lines and looked pretty shocked as I shot passed her in my shonky old Rover

 

Today, I was with Ma_Sterling driving back home from Warwick, I spent most of the journey of the driving but she took over when we got back to Birmingham. As we pulled out of a Junction, some Taxi twat in one of those newish VW Caravelle things took exception to the fact the we were going to be in front of him and proceeded to try and dangerously overtake us on a hill, then as we approached some lights which were about to change, in a shocking and rare move, Ma_Sterling slowed down just enough to get us through the traffic lights legally leaving taxi twat blaring his horn as he had to stop on red

 

Driving the Micra, myself and latterly Ma_Sterling are often on the end of other peoples appauling standards of driving, we get tailgated, cut up, overtaken on dangerous parts of roads and so on, what for? Because your average dickhead in a slightly bigger car cant stand being behind a Micra, its almost as if they have got to prove to themselves that they are better than you, they absolutely must overtake and get in front, even if they end up going slower than your original constant speed and more ofthen than not they will choose inappropriate places and times to try and outmanoeuvre you. I really hope these twats pick on some 6ft 20st Micra driving gezzer and get whats coming to them.

[Bren]

Just finished an afternoon shift, heading back from Salford to Warrington on the M62. The motorway between J11 and 10 is closed.

 

A big clue to this is that the motorway is down to one lane, there are cones everywhere as well as 8 wheel tippers, and there are "road closed" signs.

 

I had anticipated having to get off at Birchwood and cut through Warrington, no big deal really.

 

Obviously a big deal for the half a dozen cretins in front of me that seem to think they can get back on the motorway immediately after having left it. Well I've got news for you, you can't. The clue is in the cones blocking the slip road. And the road closed signs. Go around the roundabout and try again.

 

I then find myself stuck behind a jag whose driver is obviously at the mercy of his sat nav - constantly stopping, speeding up until I overtake him on a roundabout.

 

I am back on duty at 1400 tomorrow and would really like to get home to go to bed. I look in my mirror and see a line of traffic behind the jag, no doubt as lost as he is.

 

Nearer home I am behind an artic which I am convinced is going to get back on the motorway at Burtonwood. At first he confuses me by wanting to take the same exit as me, then realises he is taking the wrong one, so he swerves at the last minute and heads in the right direction, towards junction 8 and away from me.

 

I am not sure exactly why the standard of driving is so bad, like so many other things (education etc)it is dumbed down. Add things like sat navs, and the large number of elderly drivers on the roads, you have a recipe for disaster. Plus too many people are up their own arses, especially the ones who use mobiles while driving, because their phone calls are SO important are'nt they?

[Guest]

Yet another wanker (in a Citroen this time) overtaking me on a virtually blind bend on a bridge because I stick to the speed limit on a notoriously bad road.

 

Fucking hell Billy, speed up will you? I've a supermarket to stack shelves in, Jesus........

[warren t claim]

Just finished an afternoon shift, heading back from Salford to Warrington on the M62. The motorway between J11 and 10 is closed.

 

A big clue to this is that the motorway is down to one lane, there are cones everywhere as well as 8 wheel tippers, and there are "road closed" signs.

 

 

I was driving one of those tippers!

 

As an added bonus to all you M62 users because the work being done is to replace the central Armco with a solid concrete wall meaning the closure of lane 3 it has been decided that it's unwise to have work commencing whilst the motorway is live. This means the work tonight has been delayed because we aren't allowed to deliver to the area until junction 9-11 is fully closed. We were having to drive into the works access point which obviously was in the outside lane causing confusion to various Romanian Transit drivers (see my earlier post) and now that has been seen as dangerous.

You can now expect the roadworks to last 15% longer than was first planned and I can expect to see even less of my family.

[eddyramrod]

I'm convinced I'm going to get pulled over soon here in Cyprus, as it's only a matter of time before the police realise I'm driving without the vital safety equipment that consists of a phone at my ear, a fag in my mitt and a four-year-old on my knee. I am literally the only person on the island so poorly equipped.

[retrogeezer]

I'm convinced I'm going to get pulled over soon here in Cyprus, as it's only a matter of time before the police realise I'm driving without the vital safety equipment that consists of a phone at my ear, a fag in my mitt and a four-year-old on my knee. I am literally the only person on the island so poorly equipped.

 

You see a lot of that over here too Eddy, plenty of the immigrants drive here as they would do in their native country.

 

And check the total mong in the Fiesta in this new series on C5. The fella next week looks even worse.

 

http://www.channel5.com/shows/dangerous ... sode-1-373