Automotive Myths

[richardthestag]

Myth or not

 

Trafpol cannot do you for running a temporary red light at road works, but probably could aim a carefully delivered kick to the nuts "driving like a twat" at the offendor.

 

The reason I ask is that chilternshite is plagued with gas main replacement road works at the mo and late at night it seems pointless waiting at a set of lights when there is bugger all on the roads for miles around. I have not tried flashing my lights nor getting out of the car and running round it backwards for fear of looking a tool to any passers by

[Guest]

I remember being told (this was in the trade in about '97) that you could get into a car by pointing a 'One for all' or similar universal TV remote control at someone locking their car with an early remote locking fob. The TV remote 'captured' the lock /unlock signal and then by pressing the 'on' button it would open the car. Is this bollocks or does it have any basis in fact?

 

 

I had one of those Casio calculator/TV remote watches, which could "learn" by pointing the fob at it. I could lock and unlock the car with my watch, very James Bond.

 

The version of this myth got told to me with that Casio watch in the place of the learning remote, it went round school as one of the lads in my class had that very watch. The Argos in Altrincham town centre stopped selling that model for reasons I can only guess.

 

OK, what about these two school yard myths that went round (1998 \ 99 ish) ?

 

1. A Fiat Brava \ Bravo would refuse to start if you got in the passenger's seat and pulled it back hard (it interfered with the fuel pump or something).

 

2. If you cut a tennis ball in half and put it over the door lock on a Mark 4 Golf and hit it, the pressure difference would pop the locks open.

[Skinley]

If you cut a tennis ball in half and put it over the door lock on a Mark 4 Golf and hit it, the pressure difference would pop the locks open.

 

I first heard that one about the tennis ball in about 1989, long before the mk4 Golf.

[Guest]

If you cut a tennis ball in half and put it over the door lock on a Mark 4 Golf and hit it, the pressure difference would pop the locks open.

 

I first heard that one about the tennis ball in about 1989, long before the mk4 Golf.

 

Weird that, the version I heard stated that it was only the Mk 4 Golf the 'trick' worked on.

[Cavcraft]

The tennis ball trick was (supposedly) a favourite to pop the locks on any car with central locking. It was alleged to create a vaccum (vacuum? vaccuum?) which forced them open. Some said it did work, some said it didn't, some said it knackered the central locking up.

 

One tip that does work, certainly on a Mk4 Astra and Mk2 Vectra, is that if the battery goes in the keyfob then once replacement has been fitted you only have to turn the key to position '1' in the ignition, press the key fob and it tunes itself in to the remote locking.

[M'coli]

The tennis ball trick was supposed to work on the mk4 & 5 Escort and other Fords of that era, but I believe that a whole tennis ball with a suitably-sized hole cut in it was required, not a half tennis ball. This is backed-up by the 2 middle-aged women (of non-comfortable-shoe wearing types, I think they'd been golfing*) who were failing miserably to get into their Escort using a half-tennis ball 20 or so years ago in the town that I lived near at the time.

 

 

*fuck'em, serves them right - I hate golf.

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

Myth or not

 

Trafpol cannot do you for running a temporary red light at road works, but probably could aim a carefully delivered kick to the nuts "driving like a twat" at the offendor.

 

The reason I ask is that chilternshite is plagued with gas main replacement road works at the mo and late at night it seems pointless waiting at a set of lights when there is bugger all on the roads for miles around. I have not tried flashing my lights nor getting out of the car and running round it backwards for fear of looking a tool to any passers by

 

I've been put off running temporary red lights after being in charge of a pair we had to set to 'all red' while felling trees over the road. Even the tree works signs didn't dissuade several impatient mongs from running the red lights.

[Pillock]

The IR locking thing: Yes it works, but there was only about two or three years between introducing IR locking and realising that the code was easily grabbed, by a shady chap with a calculator watch in the pub where you put your keys on the seat next to you..... so they made the codes "roll". I know it didn't work on my mum's Megane, as it had a rolling code.

 

The tennisball thing: There's a million different versions of this in terms of what cars it works on etc, I'm loathe to say it doesn't work as everyone seems to know someone who has done it successfully. However knowing how a lot of central locking systems work I can't get my head around how it would operate!

The only ones it seems plausible are early 90s VAG stuff with the pneumatic locking, they have a little pump in the boot. I could just about see how forcing air into the system would work that.

[Barry Cade]

If you boot a Rover 800 square in the front numberplate, the airbags go off, heard that a while ago. Also there is an easily got at connector on Mk2 Cavs with central locking which you can access to get the doors open. Early Moskvitch ciarette lighters had such a strong spring, they used to pop out, fly over your head and set fire to the horsehair stuffed back seat.

 

This one is true as I've seen it. On a facelift Sierra- mine was a 2.0 GLSi Sapp, if you ping your fag out of the window just right, it will get caught in the vortex behind the door mirror and will just float in mid air spinning . This happened at around 60 MPH.

[Timewaster]

Early Moskvitch ciarette lighters had such a strong spring, they used to pop out, fly over your head and set fire to the horsehair stuffed back seat.

 

This one is true as I've seen it. On a facelift Sierra- mine was a 2.0 GLSi Sapp, if you ping your fag out of the window just right, it will get caught in the vortex behind the door mirror and will just float in mid air spinning . This happened at around 60 MPH.

 

I've heard of flicking a cigarette out of the front window, it coming back in through the rear window and burning the back seat passengers.

 

Another pub story is the spot under the floor of a 90's 5 series thats unlocks the door if you kick it. Similarly Sierras would unlock if you nudged them from behind just enough to bend the bumper.

 

I doubt if either of these are true.

[rml2345]

I've heard of flicking a cigarette out of the front window, it coming back in through the rear window and burning the back seat passengers.

 

That is definitley true, as it happened to me once

[Lankytim]

Myth or not

 

Trafpol cannot do you for running a temporary red light at road works, but probably could aim a carefully delivered kick to the nuts "driving like a twat" at the offendor.

 

The reason I ask is that chilternshite is plagued with gas main replacement road works at the mo and late at night it seems pointless waiting at a set of lights when there is bugger all on the roads for miles around. I have not tried flashing my lights nor getting out of the car and running round it backwards for fear of looking a tool to any passers by

 

I've been put off running temporary red lights after being in charge of a pair we had to set to 'all red' while felling trees over the road. Even the tree works signs didn't dissuade several impatient mongs from running the red lights.

 

I'm afraid the plod CAN do you for running temporary red lights, however an involuntary bodily function (sneezing, orgasm e.t.c) may get you off the hook if the rozzers pull you for such an offence.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Turning the hazard light switch around in a mk1 Corsa disables either the immobiliser or unlocks the doors, I can't remember which, but it does work.

Mk2 Nova, and possibly early Corsas I don't know. Pulling out the hazard light switch and putting it back in upside down turns the ignition on. Then you can bump start the car (after breaking the steering lock). It's something to do with the way Vauxhall wired the hazards so they would work with the ignition off but the indicators would not. You can sort this security hole by modifying the wiring slightly, there are guides on the net.

 

Conclusion: Vauxhalls are rubbish

[Richard]

You can get into a Chrysler Sunbeam by unscrewing the back lights and pulling the cables that operate the rear window.

[eddyramrod]

You can get into a Chrysler Sunbeam by unscrewing the back lights and pulling the cables that operate the rear window.

 

If anyone wants a definitive test on that, I have access to a stock of Sunbeams in various stages of restoration and "pending"...

 

The owner is in need of some front indicator lenses, or indeed complete lights. PM me if you can help him...

[Timewaster]

Another one from the pub borez:

 

In the 60's, a VW dealer burnt to the ground after a particularly large lady tried the back seat of a Beetle in the showroom. Apparently her fat arse squashed the seat down so much that the springs shorted across the battery and the thing went up in flames.

[ashmicro]

The IR locking thing: Yes it works, but there was only about two or three years between introducing IR locking and realising that the code was easily grabbed, by a shady chap with a calculator watch in the pub where you put your keys on the seat next to you..... so they made the codes "roll". I know it didn't work on my mum's Megane, as it had a rolling code.

 

I still have the handbook for my R8 somewhere, and it states "rolling code", yet the watch still did it. Casio Jap tech FTW.

 

[dollywobbler]

 

1. A Fiat Brava \ Bravo would refuse to start if you got in the passenger's seat and pulled it back hard (it interfered with the fuel pump or something).

 

2. If you cut a tennis ball in half and put it over the door lock on a Mark 4 Golf and hit it, the pressure difference would pop the locks open.

 

1. I can easily believe that. Many cars have a fuel cut-off switch beneath the passenger seat, though you'd have to be a pretty rough bugger to set it off. Though I suspect this is easily possible in an Italian car...

 

2. As M'coli says, I heard it about MkIV Escorts.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I heard the tennis ball thing from that Fast Show sketch.

[Vin]

 

1. A Fiat Brava \ Bravo would refuse to start if you got in the passenger's seat and pulled it back hard (it interfered with the fuel pump or something).

 

 

1. I can easily believe that. Many cars have a fuel cut-off switch beneath the passenger seat, though you'd have to be a pretty rough bugger to set it off. Though I suspect this is easily possible in an Italian car...

 

 

 

If you want, I can test that out tomorrow, as I'm not going anywhere, what with it being a bank holiday and everything. Was it a petrol or diesel though...

[Shep Shepherd]

I was once told by a Met Police stolen vehicle squad officer that the tennis ball trick does indeed work on cars fitted with pneumatic central locking, such as certain older VWs and Mercedes-Benzes. Never tried it myself, though.

[CreepingJesus]

I've heard of flicking a cigarette out of the front window, it coming back in through the rear window and burning the back seat passengers.

 

That is definitley true, as it happened to me once

 

+1; singed a very expensive armchair, which was in the back of a Saab 9000. Lucky the whole lot didn't go up.

 

An ex-bosses Alfa 156 (split new model at the time) did the fuel cutout switch death trick to him. He'd pulled the passenger seat back, and plonked a large box of spares on it. When the AA man came out, he sorted it in about 10 seconds; not the first time he'd done it! The boss concerned was a little bit of a patter merchant, but he told me the story while laughing at a 156 stranded on the City Bypass, with an AA man in the passenger footwell...

 

And finally: a mechanic once told me his anti-theft tactic for his Opel Monza. He gave it a swift boot up the back bumper, and tripped the fuel cutoff switch. It just wouldn't start, unless you reset the switch. He reckoned few enough people knew how, to make it a fairly safe bet.

[Station]

The ball thing will work with pneumatic airpump style powered locks.

They tried it on Mythbusters on a car lock and it didn't work - but I reckon it might if the microswitch can activate (next to the tumbler part of the lock).

[CreepingJesus]

Surely the one thing that the tennis ball trick would need to be viable, would be for the lock to be airtight*? Which, on the Passats where I've repaired the vacuum locks, it certainly isn't. Unless, of course the trick relies on the lock barrel moving a fraction, but just far enough to act on the switch.

Although, there was a way to twist the tailgate barrel on the estates at least, which would achieve opening.

 

*And have no play in it. Given the needlessly complicated arrangement of rods and levers, that would be pretty unlikely too!

[Pillock]

Another one from the pub borez:

 

In the 60's, a VW dealer burnt to the ground after a particularly large lady tried the back seat of a Beetle in the showroom. Apparently her fat arse squashed the seat down so much that the springs shorted across the battery and the thing went up in flames.

 

This one is true - well, maybe not that particular incident, but I've seen the evidence of a melted vinyl seat, burned horsehair and a toasted arsecheek. It doesn't help that the springs break at the welds with the frame, so they touch the battery more easily - any Beetle driver worth his salt throws a rubber floormat over the battery.

[CreepingJesus]

How about the old tabloid newsrag standard, about the American tourist who picks up their hire car at a UK airport, and drives it some distance in first gear, until the engine expires.

Now, on one hand, I distrust most of what's in newsrags anyway, and especially this kind of rehashed column filler; but no smoke without fire, eh?

On the other hand, I've seen enough examples of rental car abuse, to make something even this monumentally brainless, quite viable.

On a third hand (?), there's the 'common knowledge' that Americans can only drive self-shifters, which is why I assume it's always an American who gets to be the victim. Gives it a bit of a ring of truth.

But on a fourth hand (I developed two extra hands remounting Jap inline fours' carbs... ), I've handed rental vehicles over to American folks. Some were nice, some jetlagged and a bit grumpy; some felt the need to run through driving a 'stick shift' on the wrong side of the road, some didn't. Never had an issue with the vehicles as returned; no blown engines or mashed gearboxes.

So where did this story come from? I reckon urban legend, respun to the nth degree.

[Pete-M]

How about the old tabloid newsrag standard, about the American tourist who picks up their hire car at a UK airport, and drives it some distance in first gear, until the engine expires.

Now, on one hand, I distrust most of what's in newsrags anyway, and especially this kind of rehashed column filler; but no smoke without fire, eh?

On the other hand, I've seen enough examples of rental car abuse, to make something even this monumentally brainless, quite viable.

On a third hand (?), there's the 'common knowledge' that Americans can only drive self-shifters, which is why I assume it's always an American who gets to be the victim. Gives it a bit of a ring of truth.

But on a fourth hand (I developed two extra hands remounting Jap inline fours' carbs... ), I've handed rental vehicles over to American folks. Some were nice, some jetlagged and a bit grumpy; some felt the need to run through driving a 'stick shift' on the wrong side of the road, some didn't. Never had an issue with the vehicles as returned; no blown engines or mashed gearboxes.

So where did this story come from? I reckon urban legend, respun to the nth degree.

 

That has happened to me when I worked in Avis back in the late '90s. Two Californian kids on a madcap 'round England in a week, then off to Europeland' tour did a week in a Daewoo Nexia (possibly a Lanos) in third gear. When they brought the car in I was doing the paperwork when one of them said "Noisy little thing isn't it? Even when just cruising at 65 it's noisy.". They were late for their train to Holyhead so I ran them to the station. It was when they were on the way there that they said "Oh, that's how you do it. We just left it in 3."

[CreepingJesus]

Myth proved, then! Or is that busted? I'm not sure any more... Thanks anyway.

[Tayne]

.

[ashmicro]

Californians aren't Americans.

 

Neither is the president.