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Posted

it is well known the early Allegro had a 'quartic' steering wheel.

 

Less well known but equally true is that the very first ones off the production line also had quartic road wheels fitted with Dunlop Squarespeed crossplies. This had to be dropped as the complex solid state transistorised suspension system required to compensate was just too expensive.

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Posted

Golf mk2 C-pillars are different and no-one knows why.

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Posted

The Zetec engine 2nd camshaft only kicks in when you rev the engine above 4000rpm.

 

The new fiesta has its gearbox made from plastic

 

The Porsche 924 had the engine 'straight' from a VW LT

 

Robin reliant

 

Norbert Dentrassangle owns Renault Trucks

 

I could go on buy I usually spot these fuckers a mile off and go on stand by as a routine.

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Posted

The Volvo 340 uses a Rover P6 De Dion rear axle. Also, the same car uses a Renault 14 floorpan, turned 180 degrees to accommodate the rear axle assembly.

Posted

F1 cars have to carry additional water ballast when racing on high-altitude tracks as their delta-v is so great that they can reach escape velocity from Earth's gravitational field.

Posted

Les Dennis the comedian’s grandfather set up and ran a firm that manufactured the first specific-to-role fire engines.

 

This is clearly bollocks of the highest order - Les Dennis was the French parent company of the British builder of bin vans and fire engines, all of which were designed by Blondie and marketed using her 1977 hit single of the same name.

 

Les Dennis the comedian has been subject to several lawsuits by Les Dennis the fire engine and bin van manufacturer, for defamation of the name and for claiming to be a comedian.

Posted

I have just pissed myself reading this lot.

 

Fortunately I am sat in a 1988 Vauxhall Senator B. Many folk come have been known to come across puddles in the front footwells and have spent considerable time and money chasing a non existent leak.

In reality what they should have been done, and what I am about to do now is to set the heater controls to 5 and click the windscreen washer stalk into position 3, but with the ignition off.

When I am safely outside the vehicle and operate the central locking from the boot-lock, the vehicle will flush and blow itself dry.

Posted

The unique aspect of the Earnshaw Diamond quadricycle is that, despite the name, it only had three road wheels not as one would suspect - four. 

 

As you will be aware, Reliant bought out Earnshaw (though kept the brand name as a separate entity) after the notorious Earnshaw/Keeler scandal which had it not emerged at the same time as his affair with John Profumo would doubtless have commanded more coverage in the British Press than it did - as a result financial backing for Batty Rhomboids design dried up leaving the way for Reliant to undertake an agressive buy out. Exact sums were never publically revealed but it is estimated that the company cost Reliant at least three Fray Bentos beef in ale pies, possibly four.

 

Reliant quickly looking to recoup costs decided that as their cars were good enough as tri-pods that the Diamond could be re-enginered with one wheel less. Rather than redesign the layout it was decided to subtract a wheel and counterbalance this with a large weight or fat Yorkshire lass. 

The Fact that for every three cars, a fourth one could be shod with wheels for free meant that Reliant were able to market the Diamond as a budget car. Sadly there was more cost cutting involved in "Project Coal" ( Earnshaw's code name for the Diamond) and this resulted in several cases being brought against the subsiduary company as were documented in the book "Diamond - Unsafe cornering like a nutter with a fat Yorksire Lass hanging off the side" ( Green, Y - 1967 Penguin Press).

 

The company settled out of court to avoid publicity but were forced to become insolvent, and the Earnshaw name was lost to the motoring world forever. The few examples not bought back under a compulsory purchase scheme and recycled into walking aids for the infirm under Bevins NHS initiative now command exorbitant prices, the fact that owning one is also a crime in all 53 states of the USA pushes the prices amongst collectors up further.  Batty died penniless in the Lancashire town of Bacup apparently taking his life by beating himself repeatedly over the head with a black pudding. Conspiracy theororists meet in the local pub on the anniversayr of his death and debate that he was in fact murdered but no evidence to suggest this has ever come to light.

 

 

The example you see here is one of the last ones produced and comes with the optional supercharger hamster wheel.

earnshawdiamond-vi_zps156a5257.jpg

Posted

The Volkswagen Beetle was designed by Hitler and is rear engined because Hitler was vegetarian.

 

Toyota lists AntiAircraft guns in the options for pickups sold in the Middle East.

 

Marinas handle brilliantly on crossply tyres, they are only shit on radials.

Posted

The Rover K series was specifically designed to boil its coolant so you could have a nice cuppa whilst waiting for that lovely AA man to come and sort out the latest non engine related breakdown.

 

All e30 318iS 2drs were galvanised* using the same technique as 1970s italian steel

 

All E30 318iS 2drs out perform in every way the E30 325i Sport models. for that reason they are known as the baby M3 (2 doors, 4 pot twin cam engine therefore they must be linked to the M3) 

Posted

In 1970 there was a strike in the transfer printing shop at JS Fry the emblem suppliers to the Midlands motor industry. It resulted in being unable to make any emblems with the letters "M" or "T". Luckily, Triumph had stockpiled huge numbers of "Triumph" nameplates but could not get any "Dolomite" badges made up. The only recourse was to launch the cars as 1500 (delaying the TC by a couple of years) and invent a word using the letters from "Dolomite" minus the T and M. The only acceptable anagram was Toledo.

Posted

Hyundai did in fact market a V8 version of their best selling Stellar known as the Super Stellar.

 

In the UK this model was sold in large numbers to the HMRC for express VAT collections although they did remove the 'Super' badge in an effort to remain covert.

 

According to howmanyleft only one survivor exists.

Posted

The fuel pump on a Peugeot Vivacity scooter is bigger than that on the 306 HDi engine and is a little known tuning method**

 

**see Scooter for sale ad.

Posted

In 1970 there was a strike in the transfer printing shop at JS Fry the emblem suppliers to the Midlands motor industry. It resulted in being unable to make any emblems with the letters "M" or "T". Luckily, Triumph had stockpiled huge numbers of "Triumph" nameplates but could not get any "Dolomite" badges made up. The only recourse was to launch the cars as 1500 (delaying the TC by a couple of years) and invent a word using the letters from "Dolomite" minus the T and M. The only acceptable anagram was Toledo.

 

Er... Toledo begins with a T....;-)

Posted

When Rover resumed production of the P2 series just after the war the clock mechanisms were in short supply as they had all been used in the well known Spitfire fighters.

 

This meant that the cars were just fitted with a clock face and hands during all of 1946 and some of '47. Rover dealers were supposed to repair this at the first service but somehow mine slipped the net.

 

I did resubmit the car for repair in the late nineties but by that time most dealer workshops were fully booked carrying out head gasket repairs to later models.

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Posted

Er... Toledo begins with a T.... ;-)

Every piece of bullshit should have an obvious flaw! Plus, I overlooked it...

Posted

Er... Toledo begins with a T.... ;-)

 

Management drafted in some strike-breaking scabs from Ricardo to do a shift on the T line at weekends.  There was a piece about it on World In Action.

Posted

In the dying days of the Rover 75, BMW had a belated and ill-fated change of heart.

 

Using the threat of withdrawal of the licence to use the patented Z-axle rear suspension as a lever against the Chinese, it was proposed to re-eastablish 75 production at Cowley under the Wolseley banner.

 

Several prototype 6/75 models, complete with illuminated grille and rectangular minor instruments, were spotted around Oxford, but the project was abandoned once the Mini Countryman project got the green light.

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Posted

In the late '80s, after a violent argument over ideal fuel/air mixtures, the pop bands Frankie Goes To Hollywood and Del Amitri never spoke again and set up competing carburetor manufacturing businesses to spite each other. The FGTH company was named after their lead singer and Holley carbs were born whilst simultaneously the Scottish part-time chart botherers started up their outfit Del Auto (later changed to Dellorto to sound more Italian and therefore more reliable).

Coincidentally, around the same time Bella Emberg was developing another rival system in secret, just North of Sicily on the volcanic island of Stromboli.

Posted

When Rover resumed production of the P2 series just after the war the clock mechanisms were in short supply as they had all been used in the well known Spitfire fighters.

 

This meant that the cars were just fitted with a clock face and hands during all of 1946 and some of '47. Rover dealers were supposed to repair this at the first service but somehow mine slipped the net.

 

In fact, the Rover P5 shares its entire instrument binnacle with the Armstrong Whitworth Whitley bomber.

Posted

Pre-EFI cars exported to the southern hemisphere had to have small magnets attached to their carburettor float bowls to compensate for the coreolis effect.

Posted

The only car ever made in Venice was the Contadini Lambrusco, which was fitted with a 789,666cc side valve twin turbo single cylinder diesel engine and came with spaghetti harvesting equipment as standard.

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Posted

Peugeot brought out a 1.9 205 because the all of the 1.6 badges on the rear pillar had been made with the 6 upside down and they would have been too expensive to bin.

Posted

Princess Michael of Kent was the first person to be collared by ANPR when she was spotted driving her 2001 Daimler Super V8 without valid insurance near Junction 2 of the M32 on 30th September 2002.

Posted

The Earnshaw Diamond also shares its door handles with the Austin Allegro

Posted

Moonshine was bootlegged around the States during prohibition inside the suspension pipes of Leyland Princesses and Allegros. The code-phrase to use on delivery so the driver knew who you were was, "the ride height is too high". There is a similarity with the fact that Citroën suspension spheres were used by German underground gangs to deliver laughing gas, when its use was prohibited by Chancellor Kohl.

Posted

It was in fact Hertz Van-Rental, the famous Dutch flatuist, and not a Ford Exec who teased Mitsubishi into calling their new muscle car Starrion. The speedo needle on this masterpiece was designed to operate in an anti clockwise direction but was ruled dangerous by Ralph Nadar, who became instrumental in blocking all Japanese car imports to the USA.

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Posted

Rear seat should be folded down flat when not in use on mums shopping hatchback. This dramatically aids cornering capability due to the lowered centre of gravity.

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Posted
 

Fuel is magnetic and attaching a special magnet to the fuel line rearranges the fuel molecules to make the emissions cleaner and the engine more efficient. But the truth behind this technology is being blocked by American Petroleum companies.

 

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