Brilliant Car Features

[dollywobbler]

Hand-operated windscreen washer pumps are brilliant. In the 2CV, I can feel if the screenwash is frozen. If it is, I don't operate the wipers and can therefore still see where I'm going. Of all cars I've ever owned, the 2CV suffers least from the cold in that regard anyway, as all of the piping and the bottle itself has instant access to engine heat - something that doesn't happen when engineers hide the bloody thing in the inner wing.

 

Hand-operated washers also use much less screenwash, so less top-ups needed. AND I can vary the pressure if there's an annoying speck in a different place.

 

Dyanes have a foot-operated washer. This is less useful, especially as (again) they didn't move it for RHD, so very easy for the passenger to inadvertantly operate it when rummaging in their pockets!

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

since windscreen's are the hot topic just now am I right in thinking that some Peugeot (405 or 505) had the washers mounted on the wipers themselves, sounds like quite a good idea but since I've never seen it again probably not.

 

405. The washer jets are mounted on a 'bar' that runs along the wiper, they work rather well until the clips start breaking off in the bitter cold.

 

And freeze up whenever the temperature got below about 10 degrees!

 

Ive seen several commercials with a similar system, including my wonderful Iveco Daily works van.

 

*awaits flame throwers from the Iveco hater!*

 

I don't remember the 405 setup being any worse for freezing than conventional washers, I've heard Mercedes Vitos with a similar setup are quite shite though.

[cobblers]

I've heard Mercedes Vitos with a similar setup are quite shite though.

 

Fuppin terrible, even with neat screenwash they freeze solid in no time. And you can't test them without the wipers coming on. Me and a mate ended driving 8 miles ace ventura style (head out of the window) on the m1 when we were in "no hard shoulder" roadworks last year and the screen was covered in frozen snowy gritty grease. it was ok til the wipers smeared it all over!

 

 

That joystick on mk4 escorts is absolutely useless, but brilliant. It's a shame that nowadays they are usually either still wired up with the original stereo but sound like you're dragging a brick down a garage door if you move them, or wired badly through an argos stereo and burned out completely.

 

Front foglights are only any use to nobs who work in call centers and think they are hotshots with mk4 astras from yes car credit.

[Pillock]

Heated washers - E36 has them, Mk3 Golf had them but the brand new Astra doesn't which led to much swearing in the recent weather (and a blown fuse).

Quickclear windscreens are good, but my mum's Fiesta has just developed a 3" wide non-heated section down the middle. I suspect that won't be cheap!

I've never had a car without the spring-loaded one-wipe function, i thought that was standard?? Even my '73 Beetle had it.

 

For reference, the spare tyre washer pressure thingie is awful and leads to only a partially inflated spare, and a mucky windscreen.

 

I actually like cars where all the lights go off when you turn the ignition off. This time of year, it means I just leave the lights on all the time and for the very very odd occasion I drive in the daylight, people can just deal with it.

[Pete-M]

Best bits?

 

Climate control

Heated mirrors

Cruise Control (Jag do this well, Merc radar one is weird)

Auto dipping rear view mirrors

Volvo stereos

Front fog lamps (when used correctly)

Auto locking doors

Electric seats

Ford quickclear screens and heated washer nozzles

Volvo heated seats

Auto headlamps (when done well)

Xenon headlamps (Mercedes E class ones are bloody good)

LED tail lamps (Merc S class ones seem to be just right)

Remote boot release (i.e. on the fob) that opens the boot properly

Power steering (The system on the Ka is about a turn lock to lock quicker than the non-PAS version, btw)

ABS

Traction Control (ESP is better when done by Ford - the Mk1 Focus 2.0s has the best I've known)

Curry hooks, as fitted by Skoda to their new stuff, and to some Volvos. Great idea.

Total closure systems. Peugeot 604s have this, I can't think of anything older with it.

 

Funnily enough, Mk2 Escorts have none of the above.

[Albert Ross]

I love toys.... (even though I hate them- see pointless thread)

I am a contradiction.

 

I own some spectacularly poorly specced cars, and few absolutely loaded ones.

1996 Scorpio Cosworth.

Full leather interior.

Electric adjustable (3 driver memory) and heated front seats.

Climate control.

Heated electric mirrors and washer jets.

Traction Control.

CD changer (in the boot, away from eyes and fingers whilst driving)

Heated screen.

Cruise control.

Global opening and closing.

 

2006 Focus Ghia.

Heated electrically adjustable leather interior.

Heated screen.

Heated electric mirrors and washer jets.

Rear parking sensors.

Cruise control.

Ambient lighting. (Light orange glow from the interior mirror all over the dash and console)

Drum rear brakes (Better handbrake)

Global opening and closing.

There's more... but ICBA tbh.

[Station]

Has anyone had one of those early 3000GTO things? They're meant to be quite heavily specced, with pointless things like electronically movable front/rear spoilers. They removed everything on the later one because everything broke and nobody could afford to fix them!

 

I miss pop up headlights, probably the coolest thing on any car. I remember a Porsche 944 flashing his headlights to let my dad out of a junction and though it was pretty mindblowingly awesome.

[Lord Sterling]

I like heavily specced cars, particulary those with pointless but fun toys like rear electric seats.

 

Electric 4-memory postion seat and mirror ajust (Rover Sterling)

Heated Seats

Heated Mirrors

Automatic rear wiper (Starts when wipers are on and reverse gear is engaged) (Rover 800 Fastback)

Remote Central locking

Lazy Locking (Everything closes at once)

Cruise Control

Electric rear seats (Pointless but I like them)

Ford quickclear screens (Had one on my old Sapphire)

Remote boot release that opens fully (Mate has this on his Merc E-Class)

[barefoot]

Is that how it works in your Beetle barefoot?

 

Almost exactly like that,

I forgot to mention that the split in the system is caused by the whole lot freezing solid in the winter because it's stuck under the front bumper just about as far away from the engine and any other source that it could possibly be.

 

by the noise it makes, the hidden Rolls-Royce RB211 fires up and clears the screen.

 

...and the 944 has one of these.

Push the button, the fan speeds up to its maximum speed, the electrically powered heater thermostat thing cranks up to maximum and the vacuum operated flappy things send all the hot air up the windscreen.

A recipe for long term disaster you'd think but mine is still working at 230k miles.

(although I tend to do it gently manually a bit at a time).

 

 

.

[dollywobbler]

Ambient lighting is a good one. A quick slip into pointless for the MINI, where you can change the colour (even to girlie pink!) but I really like it. Wish my P6 had had it as none of the switchgear was illuminated! Horrible at night.

 

I do not like auto-locks that engage as you drive. Maybe it's because I just drive ol' shite, but car-jacking is rarely a concern and I'd rather the door be openable instantly at all times.

[catsinthewelder]

I find the variable brightness on the dash lights of my VW to be a fairly cool feature for a 70s van. The 8 track makes a good mobile phone holder but does interfere somewhat with radio reception.

 

I'll agree with Barefoot that air pressure powered washers ain't all that, mine now had a noisy electric pump.

[barefoot]

I find the variable brightness on the dash lights of my VW to be a fairly cool feature for a 70s van. ..

...I'll agree with Barefoot that air pressure powered washers ain't all that, mine now had a noisy electric pump.

 

A couple of points on camper vans;

 

Variable brightness dash lighting - coming back from Sheffield Arena down the M1 last year, I realised that I could barely see where I was going because of the 3 bright lights shining in my face. Dimmed the lighting as much as it would go & became aware that I appeared to be driving with 12,000,000 candlepower headlights.

Looked at my voltymeter thing - absolute max - 20V !

Made it home but wouldn't start the next morning - went to connect jump leads but battery split open & acid everywhere.

 

& the round rubber cover that hides the washer bottle neck by your feet is exactly the same component that's used for the rear washer in the Scirocco.

[Tartan58]

Low screenwash warning is a very handy thing too. However on the flip side my SEAT had an ear splitting buzzer which gave excacly the same noise for low screenwash, low fuel, engine exploded, second coming - I shat myself everytime it went off wondering what catastrophy had occured only to find that I just needed to top up the screen wash.

[Father Ted]

Ford's fantastic heated front screen should have been fitted to every car made.

 

I disagree. I actually find the wires annoy me, especially in misty/rainy conditions. Heated screenwash seems a good idea - not that I've ever had a car equipped with it...

A LOOOOOOOOOONG lenghth of screenwash tubing wrapped around the radiator top hose and insulated (at the top hose bit) and you too can have heated windscreen washers.

 

I like heated seats, I can live without them and do. But if my numbers come up one weekend Im having some.

[Pete-M]

Buzzers and stuff. I tend to hate 'em after years of driving Yank stuff that bleeps and bongs for the slightest reason, lights on, seatbelts, handbrake, key left in etc. Toyotas tend to be bloody annoying for it, and Renault seatbelt bong is enough to force you to wear a belt even when just backing out of the garage. Grrr.

 

However, the Jag has the most polite lights on bleepy thing I've ever heard. Loud enough to be heard, but no more. It's as if the car is just giving a nudge to say 'lights are on, y'know'. There's another, different one that bleeps if the gear selector isn't in 'P' and the key is turned to off. Can't remove the key anyway, but the bleepy thing seems to be near the selector so it's not rocket science to suss out what's wrong.

[Skizzer]

I never quite decided whether it was brilliant or pointless, but I used to have a 1984 breadvan Polo C Formel E that had a stop-start gizmo that cut the engine in neutral and restarted it as you engaged first or reverse. I did 45000 miles in that car and it never failed to restart smoothly.

 

BMW keep crapping on about this as if their system is new and clever - "See how much I care about the planet with my Efficient Dynamics badge - my stupidly heavy X6 does 45mpg on paper although I actually get about 12 because I drive everywhere like the complete twat I am".

[Rusty Pelican]

I've never had a car without the spring-loaded one-wipe function, i thought that was standard?? Even my '73 Beetle had it.

 

.

This is the first car ive had that ive noticed it on ,God I must have owned some shite

[j-j]

I still think remote central locking is great. The only thing my old CX really needs! (possible retro fit!?!?!?!?)

 

Also the remote opening of rear hatch on some Mercs etc is good.

 

I always wondered why the Ford quick clear thing wasn't universally adopted as it looked brilliant.

 

I can happily live without most of the stuff on modern cars such as reversing sensors and the like, but the darkened peado-proof rear glass on SUV/crossover/crossdresser 4x4 things is great so I don't need to see stupid children.

 

Spare wheel on Citroen CX, GS, Dyane and DS was stored under the bonnet (the only sensible place for it!!) meaning you didn't need to take all your crap out the boot if you needed to change the wheel and the spare wasn't manky from being stored in a cage underneath, think Fiat pandas had the spare under the hood too.

 

Mk1 Mondeo had a nice little holder for your 'bic' biro.

[j-j]

I've never had a car without the spring-loaded one-wipe function, i thought that was standard?? Even my '73 Beetle had it.

 

.

This is the first car ive had that ive noticed it on ,God I must have owned some shite

 

Really!!? I honestly thought you were being sarcastic! I've never been without this either! Though some cars have it as a push up instead of down and that's annoying

[Negative Creep]

I always wondered why the Ford quick clear thing wasn't universally adopted as it looked brilliant.

 

 

I believe Ford hold the patent

[seth]

Spin-on oil filters.

 

Clearly written by someone who has struggled with a paper element and an O ring!

 

Also:

Opening quarterlights.

Clunky, mechanical feeling gear shift mechanisms.

Convex wing mirrors - mounted on the wings like they ought to be. You get a panoramic view of whats behind you on each side with barely a shift from looking forwards.

[Tayne]

.

[Pete-M]

I still think remote central locking is great. The only thing my old CX really needs! (possible retro fit!?!?!?!?)

 

Easy if you fit a half decent alarm system that can operate the central locking.

 

I can happily live without most of the stuff on modern cars such as reversing sensors and the like

 

Skoda do a 'park assist' thing that rocketh mightily. Takes a bit of time to get used to, but basically, you press a button, drive past the space, slowly, and a little display on the screen will tell you if the car will fit in. Stop, select reverse, hands off the steering wheel and drive backwards very slowly. The car parks itself, and it's bloody good at it.

 

[Guest]

Convex wing mirrors - mounted on the wings like they ought to be. You get a panoramic view of whats behind you on each side with barely a shift from looking forwards.

I'd like to add that wing-mounted mirrors are bloody brilliant.

 

 

The time you notice most is when on the motorway, there's just no blind spots anywhere. It's brilliant, wish all my cars had them.

[j-j]

Aye Pete, I think I saw a similar park assist thing on topgear that 'almost' worked... Though it was a fully automatic version that you could stand and watch!

[Rusty Pelican]

I've never had a car without the spring-loaded one-wipe function, i thought that was standard?? Even my '73 Beetle had it.

 

.

This is the first car ive had that ive noticed it on ,God I must have owned some shite

 

Really!!? I honestly thought you were being sarcastic! I've never been without this either! Though some cars have it as a push up instead of down and that's annoying

Wish I was , My old Audi,s ( both 85 B2s had a wash / wipe thing and intermittent but no one wipe , least not one that worked ,My Marina ,The Humber and the Imps never , and I cant remember if my 87 Uno had it either , then again it didnt have much electrical stuff that worked at all ,

[dollywobbler]

I am going to nominate column stalks. I love that the 2CV still manages to have this marvellous mist function on a button for the wipers (unlike some earlier 2CVs that had a fiddly twisty knob that worked either way to turn the wipers on) but I do get pissed off with having to take my hand off the wheel to operate it. Shame the Germans mucked it up in the 1970s by jamming as much stuff as possible on one stalk. Having to twist the stalk for wipers (with no mist function) on the Merc W123 was a pain as you had to remove your hand from the wheel to do it - which sort of defeats the point of having them there. Same for Rover 200/400 stalks, which also feel brittle and crap.

 

CX and BX Mk1 interiors (and early Visas and GS/GSAs thinking about it) were great in the way they brought so many switches to your fingertips. They also lack self-cancelling indicators, which is marvellous. My later BX still manages to put the hazard lights, rear fog light, heated rear window and rear wiper within fingertip reach, which I rather like. CX let itself down by having the HRW switch on the centre console behind the handbrake. A stupid place and difficult to see, so I often left it on by mistake.

[M'coli]

IIRC Rover 800s had a feature that automatically set the rear wiper going if the main wipers were on and reverse was selected.

 

 

It could have just been Prince of Darkness malfunction, o'course.

[Negative Creep]

Skoda do a 'park assist' thing that rocketh mightily. Takes a bit of time to get used to, but basically, you press a button, drive past the space, slowly, and a little display on the screen will tell you if the car will fit in. Stop, select reverse, hands off the steering wheel and drive backwards very slowly. The car parks itself, and it's bloody good at it.

 

 

 

Or you could just look over your shoulder

[eddyramrod]

Spare wheel on Citroen CX, GS, Dyane and DS was stored under the bonnet (the only sensible place for it!!) meaning you didn't need to take all your crap out the boot if you needed to change the wheel and the spare wasn't manky from being stored in a cage underneath, think Fiat pandas had the spare under the hood too.

 

Also the Mk4 Zephyr! And Reliant Scimitar.

Bring back the Continental Kit, is what I say, which in turn would require the return of fins, and therefore chrome.