Most wrong load in a vehicle, what've you done you really shouldn't..

[M'coli]

Age 12/13, having a wank in a scrap Mk1 Herald and leaving the resultant ejaculate folded up in a sycamore leaf... ...that my dad and his friend had the next day proposed hunting for stuff in the 6 scrap Heralds we had made me paranoid!! Luckily the jizz had eviscerated...leaving just a clear fluid.

Whaddya mean, that's the wrong type of load??? NSFW?

[derskine]

Pinto engine in Mx5

[comfortablynumb]

13 hours ago, derskine said:

Pinto engine in Mx5

You'll never get that on the gearbox.....

Oh, hang on....😁

[alcyonecorporation]

Eight people in a Ford Ka 3, from Sir John Deane's College to Northwich town centre. 

It was before camera phones and no-one brought a camera in that day. 

I'm stunned it even moved. 

[DodgeRover]

53 minutes ago, alcyonecorporation said:

Eight people in a Ford Ka 3, from Sir John Deane's College to Northwich town centre. 

It was before camera phones and no-one brought a camera in that day. 

I'm stunned it even moved. 

It was a big thing at college seeing how many mates you could give a lift too, luckily when a friend wrote off his MK1 astra in style with a telegraph post into the B pillar there were only 6 others on board and he and the other driver decided if was best they all buggered off before the police turned up.

[Chuck Buckles]

Great thread 

Many moons ago:

Had a 7.5T truck to do a gig in Germany. 
didn’t consider weight etc just loaded it up  with heavy cable, lights and distribution. 
set off to catch the ferry. 
Checked in to ferry and bloke behind counter informs me how shit his colleagues are because they’ve booked me in as a 7.5T which it can’t be as the truck was 11T on the weigh bridge. 
I silently nodded and hoped he wouldn’t clock me driving past his window in 5 mins time in a small truck 
Not long later the brakes failed and we had all the pads replaced by a miserable Belgian. 

[Chuck Buckles]

Another time I had a gig to light at Cambridge Corn Exchange. Negotiated a cheap deal for the kit hire from the guy I worked for who then wanted an eye watering sum for using the work van. 
nit to be put off or lose my meagre profit I took everything out of the cases and dismantled it as far as possible and threaded it all into my rusty fiat Uno. 
seat pushed all the way forward and rammed to the roof on every seat but mine I set off. 

First roundabout I barely managed to stop and the whole pack shifted forward so I’m now crushed against the steering wheel. 
yep that was stupid but I did it and survived.  Drove a lot slower on the way home. 

[comfortablynumb]

Talking of extortionate charges, swombo bought an American fridge freezer from one of the electrical retailers in Wisbech. We asked about delivery, yeah no problem, £50

What, for three fucking miles? No chance!

" Oh you won't be able to move it yourself, it's too big"

Challenge accepted.

At the time MK1 son had his Landy s2a lwb, so off came the roof, and we drove convertible stylee up to their loading bay.

Hoiked it into the back of the landy, upright, and strapped it down.

Three mile home, a bit more gingerly, but no problem.

Not just that, we carefully left them with all the packaging too😁

[NorthernMonkey]

Once did a similar with a 7.5t Mercedes 814 from Salford van hire in Leeds.

Filled it up completely with scrap tyres that I somehow acquired with a warehouse I bought and set off to the only waste disposal site in the North that would take them at the time out near Beverley.

Went over the weigh bridge on the way in at just over 12t.

Thought the handling was a bit wayward on the trip over…

[Chuck Buckles]

Had to collect all the kitchen floor tiles and cement plus some plaster. Trusty Fiat Marea estate pressed into service.  Very low to the floor when pulling away from Tile Giant then it started snowing on the way home. Handling like a boat and steering very light up hills. Get to the bottom of my road and the hill is too steep for FWD with all the weight in the back. 
Managed to reverse up the hill to the house and rest against a kerb so it didn’t work its own way back down. 
All part of estate ownership. 
 

A wealthy friend couldn’t be bothered to move wife’s car out the way to use his X5 when going to fetch some cement for his builders. 
Next service at Aston Martin was £6K to replace destroyed suspension parts. 

[robt100]

18 hours ago, derskine said:

Pinto engine in Mx5

That poor seat!
Pinto with the EFi manifold is about 260kg Fully dressed like that I think 😬

[Split_Pin]

Seems a good time to trot this one out again (not me).

Guy was supposed to be collecting a free BMW bonnet from me, eventually his mate turned up and took it away on his head.

[comfortablynumb]

8 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

took it away on his head.

Was he over the limit too? 🤣

[JakeT]

50 minutes ago, robt100 said:

That poor seat!
Pinto with the EFi manifold is about 260kg Fully dressed like that I think 😬

That’s only the weight of one American.

[andy18s]

A few from me..

[High Jetter]

3 hours ago, Split_Pin said:

Guy was supposed to be collecting a free BMW bonnet from me, eventually his mate turned up and took it away on his head.

Appropriate!

(Head, bonnet...)

[comfortablynumb]

That's some camper conversion.🤣

[goosey]

Collected the floor and wall tiles + materials in my Merc GL320, pulled up at the loading area where the stuff was waiting on a pallet, loaded it all in the back, air suspension self leveled with the rear tyres rather squished, steady drive back as you could seriously feel the weight in the corners. When we unloaded it all we worked out there was at least 650kg in the back 

[Stinkwheel]

Obligatory mention of collecting a load of free paving slabs in a CX estate and it not even noticing, except when you came to slow down, that’s was a lot of weight even for super Citroen hydraulic pressure brakes.

Honourable mention of 2CV with no rear seats  hauling 3 loads of bricks from a mates demolished garden wall so I could use it as hardcore for a new drive, front was pointing at the sky 🤣

Oh, whilst I remember, mk1 laguna with a GSX750 engine and a Bandit 600 engine in the boot/hatch, that handled a bit weird 

These days it easier to just own a van

[Rust Collector]

I just stumbled across these photos of a box filled with boxes.

This was in my last job - I seem to recall the production of these ran over-schedule and as they were needed for an event I rammed the whole lot into the Volvo and delivered them.

[Split_Pin]

Had I not bought this car I would have had to pay £45 for this double bed and mattress to be uplifted by the Clowncil. 

 

[artdjones]

I had a tree in my Doblo last autumn.

[Datsuncog]

On 01/07/2025 at 12:05, Datsuncog said:

I've a picture somewhere of my Volvo 240 estate with 5m lengths of skirting board hanging out fore and aft

Found it.

In retrospect, not quite the smartest choice.

[MrGTI6]

A bit tame compared to most on here, but I once borrowed an LDV Convoy minibus for a stag do. There were 19 of us in total.

Can't recall what the seating capacity was, but not all the passengers had their own seat.

I remember going through the barriers at the Dartford crossing. The 0-60 time must have been at least a minute.

The worst bit was trying to slow the thing down coming down Wrotham hill. Thank fuck there was nothing on the roundabout at the bottom of the hill! 😬

[purplebargeken]

Replacement Mk2 Granada bonnet securely* fastened to the roof of a Mk2 Granada by a duvet and two bungee cords that got a bit less secure in the resulting shower. Going from somewhere in Kent to North London through the Blackwall Tunnel. My hand was firmly clamped to the bonnet whilst repeating the mantra as follows: I am invisible, you cannot see this. There is nothing to see here.

It worked. 

[ProgRocker]

On 21/08/2025 at 15:03, comfortablynumb said:

Talking of extortionate charges, swombo bought an American fridge freezer from one of the electrical retailers in Wisbech. We asked about delivery, yeah no problem, £50

What, for three fucking miles? No chance!

" Oh you won't be able to move it yourself, it's too big"

Challenge accepted.

At the time MK1 son had his Landy s2a lwb, so off came the roof, and we drove convertible stylee up to their loading bay.

Hoiked it into the back of the landy, upright, and strapped it down.

Three mile home, a bit more gingerly, but no problem.

Not just that, we carefully left them with all the packaging too😁

I had a weekend job at Comet electrical store in 1996/97. My job was to help to load white goods into vehicles. Although I wasn't responsible for this one a customer did manage to have a washing machine put into the back of a Yugo 45/55. 

[catsinthewelder]

One of the lads at work has only passed his test recently so can't drive the work vehicles.  His girlfriend lives 30 miles away and needed a replacement fridge freezer which lead to 3 of us trying to fit it inside his Ford Fusion.  Predictably it didn't fit so his brother had a 60 mile round trip in a van and his girlfriend didn't have to help carry it up the stairs to her flat.

[DSdriver]

All of The New Seekers (it was a long time ago) in my Triumph 2000. The young lady was sitting on the lap of the chap next to me with her leg around the gearstick. A highlight of my dull life!

[Metal Guru]

On 21/08/2025 at 13:35, alcyonecorporation said:

Eight people in a Ford Ka 3, from Sir John Deane's College to Northwich town centre. 

It was before camera phones and no-one brought a camera in that day. 

I'm stunned it even moved. 

I’ll see your Ka3 and raise you 8 in a 2CV. (Chelmsford sometime in the 80s). It did just move but we got stopped by the police and three of us walked home.

[alcyonecorporation]

17 minutes ago, Metal Guru said:

I’ll see your Ka3 and raise you 8 in a 2CV. (Chelmsford sometime in the 80s). It did just move but we got stopped by the police and three of us walked home.

The 2CV would have coped better with the weight.