Certified Nonce modifications

[mat777]

8 minutes ago, bangernomics said:

In fact any customised van.




Gzongenflatch
In memory of Phil.

I believe those sorts of things, in psychedelic colours with the deep pile carpet interiors, really were actual nonce wagons in the 70s? 

 

9 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Absolutely anything to a MK-fucking-4 Astra... 

 

To be fair to this one, it looks like one of those charity banger rally jobs? 

[Erebus]

41 minutes ago, Lankytim said:

A guy at work has this….. BJs 4 KDS. 

If ever there was a prime candidate for getting a private plate pdq. 

Hoping that isn't a private already on it!

[Dave_Q]

18 minutes ago, artdjones said:

Sorry, didn't realise you're the boss of the forum.

Evidently not, but I'm entirely within my rights to point out that nobody here wants to hear it, and there will be more likes/validation available for such takes on another platform.

[artdjones]

23 minutes ago, Dave_Q said:

Evidently not, but I'm entirely within my rights to point out that nobody here wants to hear it, and there will be more likes/validation available for such takes on another platform.

How do you know that no one wants to hear it? Did you canvass every member? If not, you're entitled to your opinion, but you represent nobody except yourself.

[Dave_Q]

My friend, I've already wasted too many words responding, by all means crack on and do you and I'll just stick to doing sad reacts for sad people/posts.

Could do with an angery react really but I'll soldier on and make do.

[Metal Guru]

1 hour ago, artdjones said:

And a taxi plate on the bumper.

Uber sticker.

[Metal Guru]

54 minutes ago, mat777 said:

I believe those sorts of things, in psychedelic colours with the deep pile carpet interiors, really were actual nonce wagons in the 70s? 

 

 

To be fair to this one, it looks like one of those charity banger rally jobs? 

It’s Thunderbird 2. He’s got a big ramp the other side of the hedge.

[N19]

PCP'd Audi/Merc/BMW in black with 4D numberplate on the back, no numberplate on the front "it fell off yo", youtube/instagram handles on cricut stickers on the rear window, fully detailed and polished calipers, driven into petrol station and filled with £10 of unleaded at a time (after effing and blinding at the cashier who won't approve it because there's no numberplate).

[EspenO]

3 hours ago, Split_Pin said:

What's more odd is that someone on Autoshite is calling everyone weird and thinking their remark sounds mildly derogatory. 

We ARE weird, and proud. 

What, Autoshite? Sorry, the pure pistonheadedness of this thread had me fooled.

[wuvvum]

3 hours ago, Weird Car said:

mk3 Mondeo [...] way too many eBay generic stickers on the back

Good job we don't have one of those on the forum then isn't it? 👀

[Metal Guru]

4 hours ago, SiC said:

To save those looking up the plates, they're a 177bhp diesel and a 122bhp petrol. 

Certain cars seem to attract certain mods like those. The E9x (BMW 3-series) is the worst especially the E93 coupe. Probably because it's an old BMW, like the E46 and E36 before had the same thing. Usually the 318d/320d is the engine of choice on the E9x and debaged of course. When they pull in the right lane next to me in the 330i, they must clock the 3.0 badge as they invariably don't bother with a traffic light GP...

No M8, you got it all wrong. The BM is practically an M3 and the Audi has 35 on the back so must be a 3.5 or 350bhp or somefink. Innit?

[MiniMinorMk3]

[wuvvum]

11 hours ago, Erebus said:

If ever there was a prime candidate for getting a private plate pdq. 

Hoping that isn't a private already on it!

Given that that's a 2004-2005 plate and the Juke didn't come out until 2010, I can only assume that it is...

[garethj]

18 hours ago, Split_Pin said:

I believe those smoked plates are to evade number plate recognition devices. 

Does that mean I can take the CDs off my interior mirror now?

[Lankytim]

8 hours ago, Erebus said:

If ever there was a prime candidate for getting a private plate pdq. 

Hoping that isn't a private already on it!

 

It is a private plate. It’s the guys initials followed by his wife’s initials (his wife is an adult, not 13 or something) 

He hadn’t twigged what it said until he started working here. Needless to say he knows now. 

[Erebus]

1 minute ago, Lankytim said:

It is a private plate. It’s the guys initials followed by his wife’s initials (his wife is an adult, not 13 or something) 

Shame he didn't take a second to consider how it might look to strangers!  Ignorance is bliss!

[Lankytim]

Just now, Erebus said:

Shame he didn't take a second to consider how it might look to strangers!  Ignorance is bliss!

I guess reading it that way says more about us than it does him. 

[Erebus]

Always thought these were really naff:

[Cavcraft]

5 hours ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

Don't need one of those if you have a Vauxhall.

[flat4alfa]

9 hours ago, Dave_Q said:

As I think most people have worked out, the thread is intended as a tongue in cheek ribbing of modifications so tasteless they make you think the driver touches kids.

It is not intended as an actual guide to spotting nonces by their cars and if you have a red hot take about taxi drivers or grooming gangs, I would cordially invite you to FUCK RIGHT OFF with that shit to www.thedarkwob.com where literally dozens of 2-bob Farage and Clarkson tribute acts are primed and ready to appreciate your ability to recount horrendous and famous criminal cases in a Pavlovian manner because the thread contains the word nonce.

Cheers xx

Angry gate-keeper, you

[stuboy]

10 hours ago, Weird Car said:

One of those  mk3 Mondeo with eBay generic stickers on the back like ‘built not bought’ and that stick figure trying to pull the fuel gauge off of empty 

 

7 hours ago, wuvvum said:

Good job we don't have one of those on the forum then isn't it? 👀

 

[Dave_Q]

9 minutes ago, flat4alfa said:

Angry gate-keeper, you

It was, and remains a cordial invite. Tone is obviously hard through text but anger is not present here.

If you'll allow me an analogy, what's happening here is a big family party.

Everyone is getting on pretty well, there are various levels of drunkenness on display but there are a couple of uncles in here who have clearly had too much to drink, have pissed themselves (yet again) and are stumbling round going TAXI DRIVERS, FUCKING NONCES, AM I RIGHT?

I approach the situation much as I would with my actual uncle, which is to quietly suggest to them, with as much respect and love as possible, that maybe the people they are addressing aren't really interested in hearing their thoughts on taxi drivers, and not only that but right over there is a table of other pissy uncles who might be more interested in hearing what they have to say. And that they've pissed themselves again.

It's just a suggestion to read the room really, clearly I can't actually stop anyone posting here and I am not attempting to infringe on anyone's right of free speech.

End of the day, if you want to have the freedom to write your red hot takes about taxi drivers etc on the internet, then that comes hand in hand with my right to say "piss off, that's boring"

Yours angrily, etc, your neighbourhood gatekeeper

[hairnet]

36 minutes ago, Cavcraft said:

Don't need one of those if you have a Vauxhall.

even the boys wont go near you

[red5]

It is not intended as an actual guide to spotting nonces by their cars and if you have a red hot take about taxi drivers or grooming gangs, I would cordially invite you to FUCK RIGHT OFF with that shit to www.thedarkwob.com where literally dozens of 2-bob Farage and Clarkson tribute acts are primed and ready to appreciate your ability to recount horrendous and famous criminal cases in a Pavlovian manner because the thread contains the word nonce

It's just a suggestion to read the room really, clearly I can't actually stop anyone posting here and I am not attempting to infringe on anyone's right of free speech

 

Kind of looks like it there chief....a fair bit to be honest. 

[Dave_Q]

Fucking yawn, take the screenshots to the flounce forum and discuss it there.

Maybe I need to get one of these.

[Split_Pin]

1 hour ago, Dave_Q said:

couple of uncles in here who have clearly had too much to drink

There's also at least one old Auntie in the kitchen who doesn't drink or have any fun at all 😂

[hairnet]

lots of people just dont get it dave, do they

[Split_Pin]

4 exhausts on a 1.9 tdi.

Headlight eyebrows

Seatbelt pads

Any driver that sits too low, elbow on the window and hand on their face somewhere. They look like low- end dealers.

All hipsters.

[mintwth]

1 minute ago, hairnet said:

lots of people just dont get it dave, do they

It's a whole thread about them

[egg]

Can I try a bit of my usual fence sitting?

Is referring to any group (yeah even Corsa drivers) as a negative stereotype without the distance of humour or irony or even some sympathy cool? No not really.

But.

Were several taxi drivers convicted in the grooming scandals of the Northern Towns and cities? As a statement of fact, yes they were.