F**ked Black Rover 827 SLi - The Mistake Machine

[Dobloseven]

1 hour ago, barefoot said:

Post break-up sex.

Is that when the missus allows limited access(subject to terms and conditions )after you've sold some parts off it on eBay?

[sierraman]

3 hours ago, St.Jude said:

1) Get engine running
2) Cut rust out
3) Cry at the windscreen falling out
4) Weight it in
5) Section myself

1) Get engine running

2) Discover it cuts out when you rev it

3)Commit to a concours restoration 

4) Start behaving really odd round people you know, strangely optimistic 

5) Get panicky and have to be restrained at an Austin Rover show in a row about trim levels where you’ve become unusually aggressive 

6) Start drinking too much

7) Forge wife’s signature to remortgage the house 

[Dobloseven]

13 minutes ago, sierraman said:

1) Get engine running

2) Discover it cuts out when you rev it

3)Commit to a concours restoration 

4) Start behaving really odd round people you know, strangely optimistic 

5) Get panicky and have to be restrained at an Austin Rover show in a row about trim levels where you’ve become unusually aggressive 

6) Start drinking too much

7) Forge wife’s signature to remortgage the house 

After it's all gone wrong at home, eventually learn to love again with a lady Rover enthusiast,and spend the rest of your days blissfully surrounded by rusty old tat that just needs......!

[sierraman]

1 hour ago, Dobloseven said:

After it's all gone wrong at home, eventually learn to love again with a lady Rover enthusiast,and spend the rest of your days blissfully surrounded by rusty old tat that just needs......!

She had me going all night with the multimeter! 

[St.Jude]

So my lad said last night and this morning “if I eat all my dinner can we work on the Rover or Lada?”. 

So went out and put the battery on it, and a jump pack, nothing. To be honest I didn’t expect anything.

Hooked up the 100k hero to jump it, more for entertainment than anything BUT the 107 has jumped started the Land Cruiser. Once.

Nothing. No big deal.

Until I noticed the main relay on the floor of the Rover! Have reconnected it and the battery is on charge.

[sierraman]

31 minutes ago, St.Jude said:

So my lad said last night and this morning “if I eat all my dinner can we work on the Rover or Lada?”. 

So went out and put the battery on it, and a jump pack, nothing. To be honest I didn’t expect anything.

Hooked up the 100k hero to jump it, more for entertainment than anything BUT the 107 has jumped started the Land Cruiser. Once.

Nothing. No big deal.

Until I noticed the main relay on the floor of the Rover! Have reconnected it and the battery is on charge.

Treasure these moments where they want to do stuff like this, it’s reason alone to keep it. Teaching them resilience and methodical mechanical skills. 

[grogee]

40 minutes ago, St.Jude said:

So my lad said last night and this morning “if I eat all my dinner can we work on the Rover or Lada?”. 

So went out and put the battery on it, and a jump pack, nothing. To be honest I didn’t expect anything.

Hooked up the 100k hero to jump it, more for entertainment than anything BUT the 107 has jumped started the Land Cruiser. Once.

Nothing. No big deal.

Until I noticed the main relay on the floor of the Rover! Have reconnected it and the battery is on charge.

39 minutes ago and no update. 

That can only mean the Rover is RUNNING and St Judes Big and Little are driving around, waving at onlookers and having a thoroughly jolly Monday evening! 

[SiC]

Or it's caught fire destroying the neighbours shed and many twitching curtains down the street

[St.Jude]

21 minutes ago, sierraman said:

Treasure these moments where they want to do stuff like this, it’s reason alone to keep it. Teaching them resilience and methodical mechanical skills. 

Yeah. It’s a bit hard to teach him the fundamentals of the fuel spark and air which make a bang to make the engine work and then engine doesn’t 😂.

14 minutes ago, grogee said:

39 minutes ago and no update. 

That can only mean the Rover is RUNNING and St Judes Big and Little are driving around, waving at onlookers and having a thoroughly jolly Monday evening! 

Ha! You ever heard of bed time?

I am waiting for him to be asleep and then I’m reading the Haynes BOL and the folders to see where that sensor is meant to go. And vacuum lines, incase one of those has split.

[SiC]

2 minutes ago, St.Jude said:

I am waiting for him to be asleep and then I’m reading the Haynes BOL and the folders to see where that sensor is meant to go. And vacuum lines, incase one of those has split.

Why not combine both by bedtime reading Haynes to him?

[stuboy]

4 minutes ago, SiC said:

Why not combine both by bedtime reading Haynes to him?

who'd be asleep 1st though

[vaughant]

On 29/03/2026 at 14:10, chadders said:

So what's the shipping container for then?

We've 'rewilded' some of our front garden, not due to laziness, well perhaps a bit, but it certainly attracts more wildlife like hedgehogs and the occasional deer along with lots more birds. The neighbours on one side apparently aren't happy but I can live with that, especially as they're the 2 new Audis on the drive type and shop at Waitrose.

No idea yet but I'll try and ask his very attractive and nice Mrs now she waves at me and spoke to me, sadly pre delivery, the other day. Not sure if he's making some kind of office/workshop or just storage while he renovated? The garage could be knocked down to really open the rest of the house up on the side so that maybe a plan and then store everything in there. It's an 80's untouched bungalow so needs likely everything done to it as it wasn't even in very good order as I think she lived there alone for years, no children etc. Never saw a visitor. Shame for her really as my Mrs spoke to her one day and she told her she had cancer. The news went round the house with a big pot of food, offered to  take her to hospital, got really upset about the whole situation. The woman was so happy someone had bothered with her I think. Horrible cunt in the corner must have found out and gone all in, running over her house everyday knowing we can't stand each other, then of course turning the screw until  basically they've shut the Mrs out completely. My Mrs was really upset as she's a genuinely lovely person. She went over a week later to get the casserole dish and was met with a 1/2" opening of the door and " I'll leave it out here when you're gone" kind of attitude. My Mrs also doesn't take a lot of shit so tried one more time to see her only to get the door basically slammed in her face so that was that then.

The container is not really affecting anyone but they will be chewing on their fists not to say something to him 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and I've no doubt have already reported it to the council. Being a conservation area I'm not sure how he got away with it or if he did get permission on the basis it's a temporary structure perhaps? Ultimate cunt neighbour maybe home soon, he might have a heart attack on the spot as it's directly in his line of vision. Ah what a shame if that happened.

How many acres is your front garden @chadders I'm assuming men of your ilk measure it in acres or is it hectares 🤣🤣🤣.

 

Hey I shop at Waitrose 🤣🤣🤣.... Hint.... It's good value if you buy own brand 👍🏼👍🏼.

And working in the industry they do use the higher quality ingredients 👍🏼👍🏼.

Fortnum and masons for yourself? 🤭.

[chadders]

18 minutes ago, vaughant said:

No idea yet but I'll try and ask his very attractive and nice Mrs now she waves at me and spoke to me, sadly pre delivery, the other day. Not sure if he's making some kind of office/workshop or just storage while he renovated? The garage could be knocked down to really open the rest of the house up on the side so that maybe a plan and then store everything in there. It's an 80's untouched bungalow so needs likely everything done to it as it wasn't even in very good order as I think she lived there alone for years, no children etc. Never saw a visitor. Shame for her really as my Mrs spoke to her one day and she told her she had cancer. The news went round the house with a big pot of food, offered to  take her to hospital, got really upset about the whole situation. The woman was so happy someone had bothered with her I think. Horrible cunt in the corner must have found out and gone all in, running over her house everyday knowing we can't stand each other, then of course turning the screw until  basically they've shut the Mrs out completely. My Mrs was really upset as she's a genuinely lovely person. She went over a week later to get the casserole dish and was met with a 1/2" opening of the door and " I'll leave it out here when you're gone" kind of attitude. My Mrs also doesn't take a lot of shit so tried one more time to see her only to get the door basically slammed in her face so that was that then.

The container is not really affecting anyone but they will be chewing on their fists not to say something to him 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and I've no doubt have already reported it to the council. Being a conservation area I'm not sure how he got away with it or if he did get permission on the basis it's a temporary structure perhaps? Ultimate cunt neighbour maybe home soon, he might have a heart attack on the spot as it's directly in his line of vision. Ah what a shame if that happened.

How many acres is your front garden @chadders I'm assuming men of your ilk measure it in acres or is it hectares 🤣🤣🤣.

 

Hey I shop at Waitrose 🤣🤣🤣.... Hint.... It's good value if you buy own brand 👍🏼👍🏼.

And working in the industry they do use the higher quality ingredients 👍🏼👍🏼.

Fortnum and masons for yourself? 🤭.

Normally Aldi,Lidl and Sainsbury. I did once get a F and M Xmas Hamper though by mistake. It's a fraction of an acre but still has enough trees to generate a decent size tree surgeon bill, the back is a bit bigger with a small copse. The deer live next door as we've 2 JRTs who chase them when they can but even if they corner them have no idea what to do. Normally the deer just leap the fence.

[St.Jude]

5 minutes ago, SiC said:

Why not combine both by bedtime reading Haynes to him?

I have a Haynes BOL about restoring a Series I/II/III that I got from a charidee shop for 50p. Bought it as a “present” for him from the new baby so he didn’t feel left out. He loves looking through the pages, sometimes.

One night he wanted me to read it to him for a bed time story. Said alright, there was a page of descriptions of all the different types of Land Rover available. He didn’t want that. He flicked through the pages and said “that”.

You know what he made me read? How to install a car phone and a Roadstar tape/am radio with speakers to a Series 1. And an electric cooling fan for the radiator.

Best night sleep he ever had.

[High Jetter]

40 minutes ago, St.Jude said:

I have a Haynes BOL about restoring a Series I/II/III that I got from a charidee shop for 50p. Bought it as a “present” for him from the new baby so he didn’t feel left out. He loves looking through the pages, sometimes.

One night he wanted me to read it to him for a bed time story. Said alright, there was a page of descriptions of all the different types of Land Rover available. He didn’t want that. He flicked through the pages and said “that”.

You know what he made me read? How to install a car phone and a Roadstar tape/am radio with speakers to a Series 1. And an electric cooling fan for the radiator.

Best night sleep he ever had.

Kenlowe, sweet chariot...

[yes oui si]

35 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

Kenlowe, sweet chariot...

The sweet chariot that land rovers usually see:

[High Jetter]

48 minutes ago, yes oui si said:

The sweet chariot that land rovers usually see:

Something for to carry me home 🎶

[vaughant]

On 30/03/2026 at 21:00, chadders said:

Normally Aldi,Lidl and Sainsbury. I did once get a F and M Xmas Hamper though by mistake. It's a fraction of an acre but still has enough trees to generate a decent size tree surgeon bill, the back is a bit bigger with a small copse. The deer live next door as we've 2 JRTs who chase them when they can but even if they corner them have no idea what to do. Normally the deer just leap the fence.

I knew acres were involved 😉😉😉.

To be honest Waitrose delivery is spot on and with only the two of us here the difference in price is marginal. 

They do a great chicken Kiev or KYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYIV as it's now known after those pesky Russians invaded.

[Agila]

On 30/03/2026 at 19:48, sierraman said:

Treasure these moments where they want to do stuff like this, it’s reason alone to keep it. Teaching them resilience and methodical mechanical skills. 

I'm ringing social services. 😉

[Dobloseven]

3 hours ago, Agila said:

I'm ringing social services. 😉

They'd probably take the Rover into care!

[St.Jude]

30 minutes ago, Dobloseven said:

They'd probably take the Rover into care!

If this was Switzerland they’d have taken it to Dignitas tbh.

[dome]

If nothing else your lad should learn some new swear words😶

[NorthernMonkey]

6 hours ago, vaughant said:

I knew acres were involved 😉😉😉.

To be honest Waitrose delivery is spot on and with only the two of us here the difference in price is marginal. 

They do a great chicken Kiev or KYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYIV as it's now known after those pesky Russians invaded.

We’ve used them for ages. As you said, the essentials stuff is absolutely spot on, easily as good as branded stuff and cheaper to boot.

Not only that but the drivers are fantastic, there’s hardly ever any substitutions and the overall price is on a par with Tescos et al. None of this fake club card/nectar price shit going on either…just one advertised price for everyone.

When we first used them, most of the neighbourhood were using Asda or Morrisons but now they’re in the area most days so people have obviously caught on.

[N Dentressangle]

aaaanyway, @St.Jude have you got it started yet? 😉

[Dobloseven]

6 hours ago, St.Jude said:

If this was Switzerland they’d have taken it to Dignitas tbh.

I reckon it should be sent to a retirement home for old Rovers.Where it can end it's days under a tarpaulin in a garden, surrounded by it's own kind!

[Dave_Q]

1 hour ago, Dobloseven said:

I reckon it should be sent to a retirement home for old Rovers.Where it can end it's days under a tarpaulin in a garden, surrounded by it's own kind!

"Did I ever tell you about the time I used to employ half the West Midlands"

"Aye grandad, course you did"

[BritChod]

I viewed this handsome bastard when it was for sale and liked it, but decided it was probably too much for me to take on at the time and that it would inevitably sit looking sad on my driveway. 
 

Experiencing Rover-induced suffering vicariously, as it sits looking sad on your driveway instead, is a weird feeling of sympathy, relief and arousal.