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Ebay Tat Volume 2 - Sadly deceased.

trigger

By trigger
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Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

This car is like a fit bird from a dog rough council estate. You know that blonde bint you were eying up when you were both 16 and EVERYBODY on your estate wanted to get across it? The same one some lads reckoned they had FINGERS AND TOPS with behind the Co-op but you know it wasn't true.

Well eventually (as you always knew would happen) someone did end up knobbing her and that was that. Maybe it started with a bit of fondling in her bedroom whilst her dad was in prison and her mum was working as bouncer, then she progressed to shagging that spotty twerp round the corner with a baseball ap perched on his head and NAF NAF trackies? You always wondered why she ended up with him and somehow the fact he had triple strength steel doors in his house and he drove a 3 month old BMW M3 when he was 17 escaped you.

 

Well, she's back. And yet, despite the years gone by, that glimmer you first noticed is still there.There's something about that look that reminds you of the first time you clapped eyes on her.

But now you just walk on by and try not to make eye contact because she's had several owners and nobody wants her as she's been round the block and someone has SMASHED HER BACK LIGHTS IN.

 

$(KGrHqZHJB!E7)tN!JliBPEFwk,itw~~60_12.JPG

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1984-FORD-CAP ... 3a6f2b5c06

 

'in need of some work'

Volksy Rank: Renault 16

Volksy

Posted
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Having owned one of those 480 Turbos, I can officially advise that they are for WINNARZ.

 

I just shuddered at that Range Rover..

Skizzer Rank: Isuzu Florian

Skizzer

Posted
Posted
Having owned one of those 480 Turbos, I can officially advise that they are for WINNARZ.

 

There's a bit of me that would really like to buy that 480, nurse its various minor wounds back to health and then roll around happily in it for a while before moving it on in an oleaginous Doctor-like fashion. But the rest of me knows that, with my luck, the little bits of rust will turn out to be the tip of a welding iceberg and the electrics will dissolve on contact with my driveway. For £500 it could be worth a punt, but the reserve's not met...

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

This looks familiar but worth a re-post if so I reckon. It's located in Inverness, I've no idea where exactly in Scotland that is, but if it's anywhere near Balamorey I'd like to go up there and indulge in some HORIZONTAL JOGGING with that Miss Hoolie bint.

adcbalamory_miss_hoolieWHIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.jpg

 

$(KGrHqZ,!o0E63YVvQ8)BPEyC44NQQ~~60_3.JPG

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ROVER-2000-P6 ... 27c275f768

eddyramrod Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

eddyramrod

Posted
Posted
Inverness, I've no idea where exactly in Scotland that is,

 

I have, my grandchildren live there! :D It's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up in the north east, beyond the likes of Aviemore and 400 miles fom Manchester Airport (ask me how I know...). Sadly, and I hate to be the one to break this to you, but neither Balamory nor Miss Hoolie actually exist. She's an actor, and the village is on one of the far-flung islands hiding under another name. There there, have another pint. Want some crisps with it?

AndyW201 Rank: Citroen Ami

AndyW201

Posted
Posted

Oh, that Maestro is a honey! In the abscence of a BRG Metro Advantage, I'd happily rock that instead.

cobblers Rank: Isuzu Florian

cobblers

Posted
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'APPARENTLY THE BOOT IS FULL OF SPARES BUT I CANT CONFIRM AS I CANT OPEN IT.'

 

A++++ GR27 WOULD LOL AGAIN :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

retrogeezer Rank: Renault 16

retrogeezer

Posted
Posted
This looks familiar but worth a re-post if so I reckon. It's located in Inverness, I've no idea where exactly in Scotland that is, but if it's anywhere near Balamorey I'd like to go up there and indulge in some HORIZONTAL JOGGING with that Miss Hoolie bint.

 

 

Check out 'Chewin the Fat' Billy, hilarious sketch show that she is in.

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

If this car was a bird in Wetherspoons I'd be rolling out all my best chat up lines.

 

EXCUSE ME LOVE!

$(KGrHqUOKp!E6WhpE,bFBOpGRI3uM!~~60_12.JPG

 

They call me Bond.

 

$(KGrHqV,!lME6B2nKCCwBOpGRCZI4!~~60_12.JPG

 

'Oh, how original. Let me guess, James Bond by any chance?'

 

$(KGrHqN,!ksE6G5hk3mLBOpGQv6-Fg~~60_12.JPG

 

No, Unibond. I'm here to fill your crack.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1972-VAUXHALL ... 3cc0c021f6

 

Unable to resist a killer line like that I'd ply her with LRP, take her back to her's, give her what for and wipe my knob on her seat covers before leaving through the side door with her purse when she fell asleep.

CreepingJesus Rank: Renault 16

CreepingJesus

Posted
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$(KGrHqNHJ!8E7)un49b7BPFWbye,v!~~60_12.JPG

Frogeye Scorpio estate, in mingebag 2L spec. Doesn't say which 2L, so I'll assume it's the utterly dire 8v.

 

$(KGrHqZHJDIE7zJJ9I2SBPE,9oBhug~~60_3.JPG

Alfa 145 advertised as trackday car. But with the brakes needing fixed'n'that. Not that they're essential in the context of screaming round Knockhill, you can always use the car in front's bumper down at the hairpin...

 

$(KGrHqV,!nsE63V3Y(fbBPEqm0VH)Q~~60_12.JPG

RS2000 4x4, I remember being underwhelmed with one of these once upon a time, but it would be a fun thing to have.

cort16 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

cort16

Posted
Posted

That 6 must be pretty rare as it's one of the early e12 based ones, it's got an obscure 3.3 engine and it's got a manual gearbox.

The problem is as it's e12 based there'll be no metal under that filler just brown dust.

CreepingJesus Rank: Renault 16

CreepingJesus

Posted
Posted

A little bit o' bikeshite for ya...

 

$(KGrHqVHJDkE7zWJTGMIBPEwbjMM6w~~60_12.JPG

Honda CJ360T...WHY GOD, WHY? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SKINT? *Sinks to knees shaking fist at sky*

It's got my username intials, it's been left outside and has gone all rusty (so it'll feel right at home with my other 2). It's indeterminately red/orange (so it'll feel right at home with my other 2), and I'd faithfully promise to look at it and mutter stuff about fixing it for, oh, about a decade (so it'll feel right at home with my other 2). And even if working, it would be an absolute liability (so it'll feel ri...oh :cry: )

Sorry little bike, not this time.

Spiny Norman Rank: Lancia Gamma

Spiny Norman

Posted
Posted

That green Victor estate seems to crop up every few weeks somewhere or other, it's obviously had paint recently but apart from that I wonder what's wrong with it or is it just too dear?

 

Like Victors? Here's another one.

 

106808308.jpg

Spiny Norman Rank: Lancia Gamma

Spiny Norman

Posted
Posted

Feeling some love for this at the mo, might investigate further... 8)

 

106972639.jpg

AeroNautiCal Rank: BL Wedge

AeroNautiCal

Posted
Posted
A little bit o' bikeshite for ya...

 

$(KGrHqVHJDkE7zWJTGMIBPEwbjMM6w~~60_12.JPG

Honda CJ360T...WHY GOD, WHY? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SKINT? *Sinks to knees shaking fist at sky*

It's got my username intials, it's been left outside and has gone all rusty (so it'll feel right at home with my other 2). It's indeterminately red/orange (so it'll feel right at home with my other 2), and I'd faithfully promise to look at it and mutter stuff about fixing it for, oh, about a decade (so it'll feel right at home with my other 2). And even if working, it would be an absolute liability (so it'll feel ri...oh :cry: )

Sorry little bike, not this time.

 

My first bike was a new, yellow Honda CJ250T, bought from Coburn & Hughes in London sometime in the 70's. :D

 

"Camshafts made of cheese" was not an uncommon quote regarding engine reliability! :shock:

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

CHARLIE CAROLLI SIDESHOW BOB LENTIL MUNCHING TREE HUGGER

 

'this is not a wind up'

$(KGrHqFHJCcE7y5w0Ve7BPFFnRjPCw~~60_3.JPG

$(KGrHqJHJBgE7)9Nc5hlBPFFneGThg~~60_3.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/EX-TV-SHOW-CI ... 3370b3e9ad

 

'APOLOGIES TO EVERYBODY : THE DOORS DO NOT ACTUALLY DETACH THEMSELVES AND 'FALL OFF'

 

Soz, don't want it now.

Mr_Bo11ox Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Mr_Bo11ox

Posted
Posted

I have not clicked on the link for that, but am guessing that it was built for a ‘laugh’ by the fast show’s ‘Colin’ character and provided great hilarity at a Citroën club gathering where it was driven by a jovial middle-aged chap dressed as a pantomime dame, to the great delight of the small assembled crowd.

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