The grumpy thread

[HillmanImp]

  On 29/10/2013 at 17:09, cobblers said:

That said you weren't doing yourself any favours going to Halfords for an MOT.

 

I would probably feel safer with the teletubbies doing the MOT test than anyone at Halfrauds.  It will fail on 2 tyres, brake pads, discs, an exhaust section and a missing £699 Boardman roadbike all of which they handily have in stock.

[Negative Creep]

Someone came to look at the Merc and agreed to buy it, then text an hour later to say their husband had to go to hospital so they can't buy it. Still, I have to say fair play for actually letting me know the "truth"

[cobblers]

  On 29/10/2013 at 19:03, HillmanImp said:

I would probably feel safer with the teletubbies doing the MOT test than anyone at Halfrauds.  It will fail on 2 tyres, brake pads, discs, an exhaust section and a missing £699 Boardman roadbike all of which they handily have in stock.

 

 

No way, theres fucking no chance of Halfords having brake pads or a bit of exhaust in stock anymore. TBH they wouldn't even have the bike in the right size

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I'll bet if you did a survey in an intensive care unit you'd find 95% of the people in there won an eBay auction ten minutes before admission. 

[Negative Creep]

Or how many are badly ill as soon as they discover what we sell is non refundable

[HillmanImp]

  On 29/10/2013 at 20:35, cobblers said:

No way, theres fucking no chance of Halfords having brake pads or a bit of exhaust in stock anymore. TBH they wouldn't even have the bike in the right size

Sorry, my bad. It would fail on missing tasteless alloys, no TURBO badge, insufficiently blacked window tinting, wonky LED strips and only one working sub woofer.

[Cavcraft]

I had a bloke (who I know of old) looking at my 306 estate today. 'Oh, it's ideal. I have got dogs and it'd be great for them. I don't care what it looks like, it'll only get used occasionally and the dogs will actually sleep in it at night, so it'll make an ideal kennel.'

One hour later, a message: 'Sorry mate, my missus doesn't like it and said she won't drive it'

 

It's not that much of a biggie as it goes though, about 25 years ago now I sold him that Cortina, in which I may have royally stitched him up in quite some fashion.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Mrs_Bumcrack had left the mondeo blocking the drive this morning. I needed to move it approx 1ft. Decided to push it rather than fire it up for 10 secs. You can imagine how much speed i built up in 1 ft distance on the flat, must have been all of 0.1 mph. Anyway when it touched the tree there was the sickening CRACK sound of Mondeo bumper bustage. These fucking bumpers are unbelievable, i don't know if they go brittle with age but they seriously have ZERO impact absorption properties. Hopeless.

[warren t claim]

  On 29/10/2013 at 21:28, Mr_Bo11ox said:

Mrs_Bumcrack had left the mondeo blocking the drive this morning. I needed to move it approx 1ft. Decided to push it rather than fire it up for 10 secs. You can imagine how much speed i built up in 1 ft distance on the flat, must have been all of 0.1 mph. Anyway when it touched the tree there was the sickening CRACK sound of Mondeo bumper bustage. These fucking bumpers are unbelievable, i don't know if they go brittle with age but they seriously have ZERO impact absorption properties. Hopeless.

http://www.jack-frost.co.uk/mondeo_gaffer_tape.html

[Station]

  On 29/10/2013 at 21:28, Mr_Bo11ox said:

These fucking bumpers are unbelievable, i don't know if they go brittle with age but they seriously have ZERO impact absorption properties. Hopeless.

 

I was talking about this the other day, what exactly are the made of? Eggshells? They have copious amounts of yellow foam underneath (for some reason I know this) which serves no purpose as the bumper is already cracked!!

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

When did they start doing it? Did they just age oddly?

[Richard]

Plastics do get brittle with age, and cold weather of course. Brittle bumper disease affects all cars that begin with M and end with O.

[Negative Creep]

If you had loft space now would be an ideal time to buy as many uncracked Mondeo bumpers as you can. Just imagine the OSF tax they'll attract in 30 years

[phil_lihp]

Are they under tension?  It does seem odd, most of the ones I've seen around have gaffer tape and/or cracks and chips to some degree whereas the same generations of Fiestas, Escorts and Scorpios didn't seem to have this problem.

[warren t claim]

Nope, just a shell with foam behind.

[philibusmo]

  On 29/10/2013 at 17:09, cobblers said:

Unless it was totally smoking the place out they were just being twats really,  loads of people have a right bee in their bonnet about using veg - the gaffer at work thought I was gonna get banned from driving for it.

 

That said you weren't doing yourself any favours going to Halfords for an MOT.

I can speak from experience, having been the previous owner of this Peugeot, that when started from cold (especially on high concentrations of veg) it can produce a cloud of smoke like nothing else i have known. Every evening when leaving work I would turn the underground car park into a cross between Auschwitz and a fish 'n' chip shop.

[chaseracer]

"Haddock might fry"...?

[cms206]

Virgin Media.

 

Recently taken over tenancy in this house from MUTHA_CMS and everything was transferred over. SWMBO called me today to say the broadband and on demand were down, she called out the Virgin engineers, they turned up and promptly disconnected us.

 

Except they didn't come to disconnect us.

 

The bollock brained fucktards came to disconnect my old dear because she cancelled her direct debit. We'll be without internet and telly for two days until their IT department unlinks my account from my old dear's, despite the fact they debited my account yesterday.

 

AAAAAAAAAARGH!

[Cavcraft]

  On 29/10/2013 at 23:14, philibusmo said:

I can speak from experience, having been the previous owner of this Peugeot, that when started from cold (especially on high concentrations of veg) it can produce a cloud of smoke like nothing else i have known.

 

My hatchback does this. When it's cold it's like a thick fog has descended over the car park, and timed to perfection it makes that bastard with his noisy early morning dog cough and splutter.

[Cavcraft]

  On 30/10/2013 at 00:08, cms206 said:

We'll be without telly for two days until their IT department unlinks my account from my old dear's, despite the fact they debited my account yesterday.

 

 

 

I'd be fucking made up to have no telly for two days. 

[wuvvum]

Bollocks.  I spent half my weekend getting the Vectra ready for an MoT (or as ready as it can be with worn rear discs and a rattly front ARB droplink).  I even bought a universal screen wash jet and bodged it into the buggered front bumper so the headlight wash would work FFS.  Just been out in the car and the fugging headlight self levelling warning light has come on on the dash.  I bet it's going to be a right cuntbasket to fix too.  I may end up having to say fuck it and buy a pair of second hand non-Xenon headlights.  Although I bet even doing this will cause the Canbus to have kittens.  ALL MODERN CARS R SHIT etc..

[Hendry]

  On 29/10/2013 at 18:21, overrun said:

THE FRENCH.

 

After some investigation, I concluded that the blower motor in my Dad's recently bought Clio 3 was dead (we knew something needed sorting before buying the car).

 

They like to eat resistors, but this ones tests OK. As does the switch.

 

The blower motor is £230 from Renault, or £110 from Euro Car Parts.

ECP price isn't horrific and It doesn't make sense to buy a used one, when people are after £70+.

 

I see you. This shouldn't be too hard to change.

 

Ah...

 

After all of that, the cursed thing still needs to be rotated topwise with the middle part updown to somehow fit between the clutch pedal box and a bracket/stud welded to the dash brace bar.

 

All sorted and back together now, without so much as a broken clip or spare fastener.

Even the A/C blows ice cold.

 

SCORE

 

This is one of the most awkard interior jobs I have ever done on a car.

Even the way the airbag removes is stupid, imo.

Clios are actually decent wee cars but the interior quality is crap, my resistor fucked up a few months back and melted the wiring too and the dealer said it was wear and tear. Fucking idiots. Looks like from the picture your dads bought a facelift Dynamique like mine too (stereo & seat trim from facelift plus Dynamique "soft touch plastics/dash/high spec door cards give it away)

 

Ps on the subject of Halfords autocentre, one of their branches did the front brakes on one of my works Fiat Ducato transporters and 5 days later it broke down 100 miles away from depot, abs light on and braking fault message on dash, screeching from brakes and nothing happening when pedal pressed eventually, their mechanic had over tightened some bolts after the brake work, causing something to fail, he got the bullet as he'd made a couple of fuck ups in the past, the same branch serviced a Renault Espace and didn't put any oil in it after draining old oil, renewing filter, and they also cracked/damaged the filter housing on a C3 Picasso after a service. Unfortunately we need to use them for all non recall/warranty/prestige work as there's a company wide contract but you've been warned, avoid.

[Junkman]

The blower motor already packed in after only 19 years in my Piglet 405. Undo two clips to get the underdash cladding out (Mercedes style, same fasteners), undo three phillips screws and you hold the entire motor/module/hamster wheel unit in your hands. Undo two plugs and you can remove the whole unit form the car. Undo two more phillips screws, and you have the actual motor removed from the housing, in your lap. Clean the brushes, spray brake cleaner everywhere, then WD40 and white grease. Put the whole shebang back together and it's good for another 19 years. Time spent: 19 minutes.
 
THE FRENCH.
 

It's your own fucking fault if you buy a car that was designed after 1986.

[Station]

Buy they fit windscreen wipers from £2.99. FROM £2.99!!!! 

[Jim Bell]

I paid halfords to fit headlight bulbs on a jag.

It was during the worst period of rain and storms that Newcastle has on record. The retaining clip/bulb holder were "odd" in that they didn't match each other.

 

Took the spotty yoof about 40 minutes to complete, with one hand desperately trying to stop the bonnet from folding back, as me in the mrs sat in the warm dry jag discussing current events.

 

Well worth the £2 extra.

[HillmanImp]

  On 31/10/2013 at 08:09, Colt Seavers said:

I paid halfords to fit headlight bulbs on a jag.

It was during the worst period of rain and storms that Newcastle has on record. The retaining clip/bulb holder were "odd" in that they didn't match each other.

 

Took the spotty yoof about 40 minutes to complete, with one hand desperately trying to stop the bonnet from folding back, as me in the mrs sat in the warm dry jag discussing current events.

 

Well worth the £2 extra.

 

Yeah but how much was the bulb? They seem to charge about £10-£15 for the bulb in the first place when any motor factors will charge somewhere up to £3 and probably fit it if you flutter your eyelids at them.

[Jim Bell]

Think it was like £7.99 for two on trade.

 

I don't have a trade card but I looked desheveled and I think the floorwalker was In a good mood because he wasn't out fitting.

[Station]

Found out today I'm paying 26p a day for nothing (on top of my gas). I have those card meters - I put 20 quid in a month, and it's take £16 and leaves me with £4 for actual gas.

So I'm not only paying for gas now, I'm paying 80% on this mystery 'tarriff', that the fella on the phone couldn't even explain where it went. I just want to pay £10 and have £10 worth of gas. (I'm also having the top up meters removed next month.)

This can't be right surely?

[Jim Bell]

It's not right, but it's correct.

Just another "poor" tax.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Standing charges... The section headed 'fair' in this npower leaflet (PDF) claims they're to "cover the fixed costs we have to pay in supplying energy to you, e.g. distribution and metering costs". So it's just like how you have to pay £10 a month to Tesco regardless of how much shopping you buy to cover their costs of keeping the stores open and the lorries running.

 

Oh wait, you don't. Because that bullshit wouldn't happen in any competitive market. Standing charges need to fuck off.

 

Also look at the 'example' page of that leaflet. This is how to calculate your bill? It looks like a page from a maths textbook! Let's get smart meters in every house with a big display in the living room which says "you have spent £X.XX this month on electric/gas". No more estimates, no more being in credit, no more complicated shite.