The grumpy thread

[Lankytim]

Nah, find out where it is and piss all over it, especially the door handles.

[vulgalour]

6 years of debt to the HMRC equates to a bill of £912 arriving on my doorstep today.  I didn't even know I was in debt to them, they've never mentioned it before and I've always done my tax returns and whatnot.  Queue more form filling as apparently there's a form I can fill in to prove I don't owe this obscene amount of money based on my low income.   Interestingly, they can't just cross reference against the information I've sent to them for the past few years to provide me with an accurate bill.

 

What's the betting I end up owing them another £100 to be paid off just as I finish paying off the current £100 bill generated by a cock-up on the part of Bolsover Council.

 

Nine hundred and twelve pounds!  That's insane.

[trigger]

Nah, find out where it is and piss all over it, especially the door handles.

 

Even better, just wipe dog shit under the door handles, he'll have a nutty surprise come the morning.

[purplebargeken]

Yeah, best not use brake fluid 'cos that'll lead to paint loss and rust. Thereby increasing his scene-based cool factor by about a million.

[purplebargeken]

I believe cat poo is more malodorous than dog. 

[Spiny Norman]

Even better, just wipe dog shit under the door handles, he'll have a nutty surprise come the morning.

 

That actually happened to one of my mates once. He'd done the sensible thing and left his car somewhere quiet and out the way in town while we went for a night on the piss, and when he went back next day to collect it, someone had stuffed a dog turd under the handle of his 'Tina.

When he told me on the phone I think I managed to sound shocked and sympathetic but it was quite an effort....

[mercrocker]

This has probably been ranted about before but it needs saying again.    Hey - Ebay - When I want bits for one of my cars thats what I want..  Bits for one of my cars...Not fucking horrible mats or wanky stick on mirrors that "Fits Minor" or Mercedes 190E.    Of course it will fucking fit so would a doner kebab.   You poorly marketed time wasting strength sapping cunt-led fuckwits.

[Angrydicky]

Depends what you're looking for really, but I usually just filter out the business sellers, or fiddle with the categories at the side of the page to get rid of the rubbish. It is a pain though.

[Junkman]

Bloody windscreen washer pump broke on the Puglet - after only 19 years!

 

AWL FRNCH CARZ IZ SHT!!!!11!!!1!!11!!!

[vulgalour]

I love* the eBay multi-listings for generic new parts.  Lowering springs, coilover sets, halogen lights (for sealed beam lights, no less), hook fit only wiper blades (side peg on the Princess), thermostats, generic radiators for 1.6 and 1.4 engine, 4x100 fitment alloy wheels, wheel bolts (nuts on the Princess)... but really the only funny one out of all that is the lowering spring kits.

[sporty-shite]

Slightly grumpy with myself for being a bit lazy and not following up the chance of a bit of cheap Japshite. There's been an un-mot'd FTO on one of the facebook buy/sell pages for a couple of months, getting progressively cheaper. Over the weekend, he's commented that it's £200 this weekend, or getting scrapped on Monday. Messaged him for his phone number, and told him I would phone him if my insurance would cover an import. Phoned insurance, got the thumbs up, then got sidetracked, and dragged into the "I'll do it later" trap.

 

Logged on FB tonight, and he's scrapped it. Bugger.

[plasticvandan]

I love* the eBay multi-listings for generic new parts.  Lowering springs, coilover sets, halogen lights (for sealed beam lights, no less), hook fit only wiper blades (side peg on the Princess), thermostats, generic radiators for 1.6 and 1.4 engine, 4x100 fitment alloy wheels, wheel bolts (nuts on the Princess)... but really the only funny one out of all that is the lowering spring kits.

the front brake disc for "robin reliant" makes me laugh

[Cavcraft]

Is it even remotely possible to have just one thread not containing OMGFUCKINGSICKOFTHISSHOUTINGRATLUKBOLLOCKSGRR kind of shit, or several thousand replies typing long winded bollocks?

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.

[trigger]

I'm glad someone's said that! It's been doing my head in recently as I can't understand half of whats been written! Just write in plain English!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Awful lot of utter shit getting posted up at the moment

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

This has probably been ranted about before but it needs saying again.    Hey - Ebay - When I want bits for one of my cars thats what I want..  Bits for one of my cars...Not fucking horrible mats or wanky stick on mirrors that "Fits Minor" or Mercedes 190E.    Of course it will fucking fit so would a doner kebab.   You poorly marketed time wasting strength sapping cunt-led fuckwits.

 

Don't forget there's quite a lot you can do to refine eBay categories. 

 

My favourite is the OR operator. Unfortunately they removed the * wildcard a while ago, so instead of searching 196* for all 1960s items you'd now have to search (1960,1961,1962,1963,1964,1965,1966,1967,1968,1969). But otherwise it's really useful if the part you're after was on several models, eg (mini,metro). 

[Partridge]

Can I start the subsequent angry thread?

 

Maybe call it "If you like old cars-please don't read!!!" so every single fucking member zeros in on it, resulting in threats, insults, and then the thred being closed and everyone calling Cavette a knob and telling me I'm a massive twat for starting the thread in the first place.

Oh and somebody mentions banger racing.

[jakebullet]

Evilbay really needs to stop the duplicates. Discovered today there's a twunt who sells 4 x pink dice valve caps. On 767 different listings by adding a car model to each. No wonder nobody buys mine with 1 listing.

[Junkman]

There are now so many issues with Ebay, that it became more of a nuisance than anything.

It also turns more and more into a legal minefield for sellers.

The idea behind its initial creation is totally lost.

[Partridge]

More and more people are buying and selling on Facebook now (in thing, innit?) can't say I blame them. I think ebay is another case of something getting too big and powerful with no direct rival.

Or in other words, the complete opposite of a Talbot Tagora.

[chaseracer]

What are you saying, man? That describes the sainted Tagora perfectly!

 

 
 

[beko1987]

The sunroof on my XM is leaking again. Not the drain holes this time though, so sadly it means the glass is coming away from the carriage probably. The waters dripping around the sunroof motor, so will pop that out, after dropping the whole front of the roof lining to get at the fucking screws, then keep an eye on it and see if I can slap some sealant on, otherwise it will join the mob of other citroens with siliconed up sunroofs...

 

For now I have put a microfibre over the keypad cover, as its directly under it, so gr9 for french electrical related khaos

 

OMGALLFRENCHCARSRSHIT etc

[Partridge]

Can't you just put a vinyl roof on it?

[Junkman]

A brown one?

[Partridge]

I was thinking standard issue black, but if we're going to get into shite colors why not just make it beige?

[trigger]

That awful utter shit Classic Car Rescue with them two bellends has been recommissioned for a 2nd series FFS, what's wrong with Channel 5?!.

 

http://www.express.co.uk/life-style/cars/438179/Masters-of-the-motorcar-makeover-Classic-Car-Rescue-is-back

[cort16]

That program is fucking terrible "master mechanic"

[mercrocker]

I have no idea about any TV programme but what twonks me off about all of them is you can rely on some office git to start a conversation with me by the tea machine because he thinks I drive an old car and must therefore by default be riveted by all this buffoonery.....

[meggersdog]

Excellent.So when some fool asks my opinion on why, when replacing a perfectly good (separate) brake light bulb, his rear light still doesn't work I can just shout "MARIO" at him and walk off.

[mattblack]

For a while the O/S/R calliper on the V****a has been sticking a bit. Not bad, was OK pootling about but gets hot if you do 70. Tried the usual working the pistons in and out, would be OK for a bit but then stick again. So I ordered a secondhand calliper on ebay, which arrived today. Opened the box to be confronted with something that looked like it had been dredged out of a canal. But it cleaned up OK and the pistons were actually nice and free. Came to undo the bleed screw, I thought 'I bet that'll snap'

 

I wasn't wrong. Due to the shape of the calliper it's almost imposable to get anything in to grip the remains. I recon the only way will be to drill it out as big as I dare and then 'collapse' the remains.

 

ALL SEKUNDHAND VOXALL PARTZ R SHIT.