The grumpy thread

[AXrescuer]

Just spent a miserable 90 mins watching the first two episodes of The Prisoner 2009. A pathetic rehash of the brilliant original series. Don't know why I stuck it out but at least I now know not to bother downloading anymore episodes.

 

 

Why the fuck do people feel the need to bastardise the memory of such classics!

[Cavcraft]

Cavette if you don't want people to leave a message why not just turn the voice mail off?

I should really but once in a blue moon it's useful and it's still good to have to listen to irate messages from nitwits.

[Cavcraft]

i can't be the ONLY person in the world that wants a pair of normal boot-cut non-worn normal normal jeans. oh wait, i can go to the Levi's shop and spend eighty fucking quid on a pair. thanks fashion, you've failed me again.

I recently found myself at Cheshire Oaks and went looking for “normal” boot cut jeans which didn’t require a re-mortgage to own. I failed to find the jeans, but happened across an Astra with a nice old fashioned boot:Happy ending - Matalan came up trumps with the jeans later on Cheshire Oaks has gone right off in recent years.

Good rant point that:Cheshire Oaks (like most 'outlet village' type shopping centres, and indeed shopping itself) is toss. If you want to see the worse kind of people and the worse kind of driving then head on up there just before Christmas where it's dickhead central.I even avoid the M53 around this time wherever possible because you just know some stupid bint or harrassed looking dad is going to veer across your lane at the last minute when they get within smelling distance of that shit hole.The last time I attempted to walk round it 'properly' was when my daughter was in a push chair and we just gave up. She's 13 now.

[outlaw118]

Hey Mr Cav, I feel the pain; we've got lakeside just up the road, and it appears to be the law to drive/park like an absolute arse.I'm proud to say however, that despite the horrible chav-filled barn having been open for 15 years or whatever, I don't know my way around it - I couldn't tell you which "end" argos is for instance; as demonstrated when I was sent to buy two wrought iron mirrors for the bedroom and had to carry them for what seemed like miles....took about three hours for the feeling to come back into my fingers after the string on the packages had turned them a weird colour....

[whitevanman]

GAS MEN..........PT2

 

so I wait in all afternoon, they turn up at 4pm, "fix it"and leave............ohh look it still does not work.......................................

 

PRICKS

 

so here I am waiting again and its dry enough that I could be out welding if I didin't have to wait in....................

[barrett]

Just spent a miserable 90 mins watching the first two episodes of The Prisoner 2009. A pathetic rehash of the brilliant original series. Don't know why I stuck it out but at least I now know not to bother downloading anymore episodes.

 

 

Why the fuck do people feel the need to bastardise the memory of such classics!

Thanks for the warning, I probably would've given it a go had i not seen that. i'm pretty sure they are doing a film version as well, directed by Christopher Nolan...

[dollywobbler]

Talking of shopping centres, Queensgate in Peterborough is already playing Christmas music. It makes me stabby...

[MrDuke]

i can't be the ONLY person in the world that wants a pair of normal boot-cut non-worn normal normal jeans..

You aren't. Hear Hear!

Same here. 15 years ago, all my jeans & trousers came from charity shops, where they'd arrived via some old codger who hadn't worn them since 1983. Then, when Oxfam ran out, they started getting 'trendy' so I could still get hold of them, albeit for several times what they were worth. Now, I'm totally stuffed - I don't want them 'pre-faded', 'pre-creased', covered in patch pockets, in a shiny finish, or with faux-japanese/military nonsense printed down one leg. FFS!!! Most of my clothes now come from Peacocks/Primark or Tescos, but even they're all becoming toss of late.Oh, and on the subject, here's a hint for high-street shops: Just because some pretentious squirt has decided to bring back some fantasy image of a decade that he/she doesn't even remember, doesn't mean that EVERYONE now wants to wear day-glo t-shirts, drainpipes and shit-looking jackets.

[seth]

My issue with the pre-worn jeans is that I end up "wearing" mine pretty quick anyway thanks to messing about with cars. If I get some nice new "unworn" ones then I tend to look after them a bit longer.Thanks for the link Barrett.Another metric fastener rant I'm afraid. Bloody fine threads! Obviously Mazda in the wisdom have covered their engine with them so I can't just go anywhere and buy normal M10 bolts or whatever.

[Guest]

It's difficult to buy normal clothes from ordinary places, the range at Asda always baffles me. Alright for cheap button-up shirts for work, but the casual clothes are ridiculous! You'd be buggered if you wanted a nice discreet and timeless plain T-shirt, but if you want Captain Caveman driving the A-Team Van during the 1992 Olympics, no problem.The thing is, all those mad shirts would probably look acceptable on some young fashionista, but a walk around the supermarket would show you half a dozen puffy-cheeked bad dads wearing the same outfit, because they'll have spotted it and thought it'd be a cool thing to wear for a fiver. They never seem to think that a shirt with a weathered image of Grouch from Sesame Street overlaid with the docket for a shipping container full of Chinese kettles will look ridiculous on some bloke in his 40s.Old men have the right idea. I think most of my clothes are aimed at old men. Go to Greenwoods when there's a sale on, get a smart jacket. And Farah trousers are ace.

[dollywobbler]

This isn't grumpy, so should be in the other thread, but it did make me smile and is cheap clothing related.In our recent trip to France, one of our pals found a T-shirt for sale in a shop with a cute cartoon and 'SWEAT LITTLE PUSSYCAT' underneath it in big letters. Great idea - sell your typos to non-English speaking countries!

[AnthonyG]

It's difficult to buy normal clothes from ordinary places, the range at Asda always baffles me. Alright for cheap button-up shirts for work, but the casual clothes are ridiculous! You'd be buggered if you wanted a nice discreet and timeless plain T-shirt, but if you want Captain Caveman driving the A-Team Van during the 1992 Olympics, no problem.The thing is, all those mad shirts would probably look acceptable on some young fashionista, but a walk around the supermarket would show you half a dozen puffy-cheeked bad dads wearing the same outfit, because they'll have spotted it and thought it'd be a cool thing to wear for a fiver. They never seem to think that a shirt with a weathered image of Grouch from Sesame Street overlaid with the docket for a shipping container full of Chinese kettles will look ridiculous on some bloke in his 40s.

Did you see the Armstrong & Miller skit on this? Bloke 'shopping' for T-shirt, Wife shows him one with Harbor Patrol written on it, he umms and errs a bit and then gives in and buys it. As he walks down the street the next day wearing it he gets press ganged by a Royal Navy officer into 'patrolling the harbour' and ends up having to fight Somalian pirates with a shovel :lol:P.S good to hear Greenwoods is still going, I saw a branch in the Likely Lads film from 1975. I only care because it's my surname, maybe I am distantly related to a Yorkshire / Tyneshire mens clothing magnate!

[ChinaTom]

My wife's incessant propensity to channel hop between local radio stations and when finding one she can bear for more than 10 seconds, the inability to hold a tune.It's like barbed wire being yanked out of a cat's arse.Then, when you tell her this, she gets all moody on me.

[michiel]

Did you see the Armstrong & Miller skit on this?

Laughed my arse of when I saw it, nonsense on clothes makes me v grumpy too. I LOL very loudly at the A&M ´safety films´ as well.

[barrett]

Old men have the right idea. I think most of my clothes are aimed at old men. Go to Greenwoods when there's a sale on, get a smart jacket. And Farah trousers are ace.

Agreed. Most of my clothes are 70s bits, either deadstock or stuff someone (probably) actually died in. Can't go wrong with a nice pair of brown slacks.

[Guest]

I won the coveted 'most resembles a student from 1993' award AGAIN at work.

 

Also, I still wear the same shoes for work as I went to school in from 1996-2000. They still fit and they're still black. I managed to wear my black Converse with a full suit for 11 months without anyone clocking because they're nicer to drive in. I'm not spending £80 on some gaylord loafers, I have parts to buy for my Citroen y'know.

 

On the subject of work, I have a bit of an issue with it. But not in the way you might think. I'll try and keep the weapons grade expletives to a minimum here, I'm trying to calm down some.

 

No, my problem with work ATM is the men's bogs. I know they're never going to be the cleanest things in the world, but could someone please explain to me why someone thought it right to smear shit down the surface of every single wall?

 

If I need to go, I don't want to look at, or smell that. Thanks all the same you manky feral bastards.

 

Also, when you go for a slash, can you not piss all over the floor and the seat, and then pull a ton of bog roll down on to the floor so that it soaks it up and sticks?

 

On the way to work I nearly had a head on with a Freelander driver who was swerving to avoid a big puddle. Sums up the day really.

 

Blown gasket.

[Richard]

4x4 drivers always swerve ito your path to avoid a damp patch on the road.

[Guest]

4x4 drivers always swerve ito your path to avoid a damp patch on the road.

Yeah, the irony is never lost on me. Or turning the air blue, that's also cathartic.

[Pete-M]

I don't tend to swerve around puddles in the Audi, but in a Rangie things can get a bit interesting if the front beam axle hits a wall of water at 40 mph.So yeah, I'm guilty of driving around puddles in 4x4s as well.Try it in a Range Rover some time... you'll understand why.

[Guest]

I don't tend to swerve around puddles in the Audi, but in a Rangie things can get a bit interesting if the front beam axle hits a wall of water at 40 mph.So yeah, I'm guilty of driving around puddles in 4x4s as well.Try it in a Range Rover some time... you'll understand why.

Er, I sort of banned myself from driving Range Rovers because I got damn close to inverting one in Scotland driving like a twat.I also drove a S3 Landy into my mate's wall. The steering was well heavy on gravel so I thought I'd give it a bootful of oppo to swing into his drive. Unfortunately my skills aren't as tasty as I'd like to think, and instead I hit the wall at 20 mph rather than 5.

[brammy777]

I won the coveted 'most resembles a student from 1993' award AGAIN at work.

 

Also, I still wear the same shoes for work as I went to school in from 1996-2000. They still fit and they're still black. I managed to wear my black Converse with a full suit for 11 months without anyone clocking because they're nicer to drive in. I'm not spending £80 on some gaylord loafers, I have parts to buy for my Citroen y'know.

 

On the subject of work, I have a bit of an issue with it. But not in the way you might think. I'll try and keep the weapons grade expletives to a minimum here, I'm trying to calm down some.

 

No, my problem with work ATM is the men's bogs. I know they're never going to be the cleanest things in the world, but could someone please explain to me why someone thought it right to smear shit down the surface of every single wall?

 

If I need to go, I don't want to look at, or smell that. Thanks all the same you manky feral bastards.

 

Also, when you go for a slash, can you not piss all over the floor and the seat, and then pull a ton of bog roll down on to the floor so that it soaks it up and sticks?

 

On the way to work I nearly had a head on with a Freelander driver who was swerving to avoid a big puddle. Sums up the day really.

 

Blown gasket.

I always wear 'non professional shoes' to work because a) they are comfy and id rather not break in new shoes when im standing for 6 hours.

Also the toilets my god, i agree. In festival place its disgusting how many men piss all over the seat in the cubicles. Right I know at times perfect aim isnt always possible but seriously come on, if you were playing darts youd have done shit and been laughed at.

And i hate it when people dont flush. Yeh thanks for letting me see and smell what you ate post digestion.

 

But what really annoys me about the FP toilets is the adverts they shove in your face in the cubicles.

Here i am doing a number 2 and all i can see is a woman offering me a plate of cake. Chocolate cake no less.

Ill pass, ta.

[barrett]

Jesus, don't even get me started on toilets! Okay....you can't piss straight, thats no biggy. maybe you have a malformed cock. maybe you are short-sighted. whatever. i can deal with that. Just LIFT THE SEAT UP before you go and there will be no problem. what? you can't be fucking bothered? great, so now i need a shit and i have to wipe some retard's urine off the seat before i can go. maybe it's because i'm a soft southerner but i don't like wiping other men's piss with a piece of cheap toilet paper before i can do my business. Seriously,who cares about pedophiles? If there was ever a case to be made for chemical castration it is the selfish tossers who choose not to control the trajectory of thier own pathetic discharge. cunts./end rant

[whitevanman]

Jesus, don't even get me started on toilets! Okay....you can't piss straight, thats no biggy. maybe you have a malformed cock. maybe you are short-sighted. whatever. i can deal with that. Just LIFT THE SEAT UP before you go and there will be no problem. what? you can't be fucking bothered? great, so now i need a shit and i have to wipe some retard's urine off the seat before i can go. maybe it's because i'm a soft southerner but i don't like wiping other men's piss with a piece of cheap toilet paper before i can do my business. Seriously,who cares about pedophiles? If there was ever a case to be made for chemical castration it is the selfish tossers who choose not to control the trajectory of thier own pathetic discharge. cunts./end rant

Couldn't agree more..........but as you get older the ability to piss in 5 different directions at the same time becomes less of an amusing skill and more a way of life......................

[mnde]

Jesus, don't even get me started on toilets! Okay....you can't piss straight, thats no biggy. maybe you have a malformed cock. maybe you are short-sighted. whatever. i can deal with that. Just LIFT THE SEAT UP before you go and there will be no problem. what? you can't be fucking bothered? great, so now i need a shit and i have to wipe some retard's urine off the seat before i can go. maybe it's because i'm a soft southerner but i don't like wiping other men's piss with a piece of cheap toilet paper before i can do my business. Seriously,who cares about pedophiles? If there was ever a case to be made for chemical castration it is the selfish tossers who choose not to control the trajectory of thier own pathetic discharge. cunts./end rant

Oh god yes... I work in a University, so often I have to wipe smelly students urine off the seat before I can take a dump. Mostly they're okay, but on the odd occasion you get a floater or someone who hasn't flushed their yellow piss away. Or shit right up under the rim and nearly as high as the seat I'm about to plonk my arse down onto. I mean Jesus, how do people do that??? Pub ones are generally worse (although there are exceptions). The kind of timewarp Victorian/50s/70s toilets in small "local" dives, with destroyed locks on the cubicle doors, often give a new meaning to the words putrid and vile. Following closely 'behind' are railway station toilets. They may have cleaned up their act recently, but, by God, in the 90s they smelt like glorified cesspits.But oh. The worst of the worst? The toilets in motorway services. By all that is holy.... The stuff I've seen/smelt in there... They are the p(iss sh)its.Mark.

[Mr Lobster]

Hmmm, toilets.The worst I have seen are probably not the ones in the campsite at Renault World Series in summer - with a tower of turds coming way beyond the top of the bowl, but on a Greek ferry a couple of summers ago.On opening the door, it actually looked like someone had exploded as there was shit everywhere. Made me decide to wait much much longer.

[retrogeezer]

What is wrong with people eh??I'm taking my daughter to school this morning and I turn out of my road and up a little hill in the next road. Just ahead a bloke reverses out in front of me so I slow a little thinking he will move off. He doesn't, he is stopped in the road brushing his hair about.By this time another car is coming up behind me so I give the fella in front a little toot on the horn so he knows we are there. What does he do? Gives me the middle finger and then crawls up the road at 5 mph!It's not like I held my hand on the horn and was waving etc, just a little toot so he knows we are there.I feel like knocking on his door and asking him what his problem was but why back out in the road, then start messing with your hair? All he needed to do was wave in acknowledgment and get on his way.

[dollywobbler]

What is wrong with people eh??I'm taking my daughter to school this morning and I turn out of my road and up a little hill in the next road. Just ahead a bloke reverses out in front of me so I slow a little thinking he will move off. He doesn't, he is stopped in the road brushing his hair about.By this time another car is coming up behind me so I give the fella in front a little toot on the horn so he knows we are there. What does he do? Gives me the middle finger and then crawls up the road at 5 mph!It's not like I held my hand on the horn and was waving etc, just a little toot so he knows we are there.I feel like knocking on his door and asking him what his problem was but why back out in the road, then start messing with your hair? All he needed to do was wave in acknowledgment and get on his way.

My morning idiot was a foreign trucker who stopped on a blind bend because he was lost. He then gets out of his cab, notices that he's created a traffic jam and calmly ambles up to the first car to ask directions! He did almost get squashed by a stripey BX for that one as I thought 'sod it' and overtook the lot of 'em. I had a pretty fair view of things from further back...This set me up for a near head on with a Ford wan-ka who decided to ignore the 'give way to opposing traffic' sign. Well, I wasn't going to stop.I'm not usually this bad but I slept badly and feel ill, so it's alright.

[Station]

Giving kids a soapbox on TV to air their views ... This is totally unneccessary. Of all the people off the world, kids are the last person that need to air their views. They know fuck all, how can they try to educate anyone with their stupid well spoken voices. There is no need to let them speak at all, or give them horrible discussion programmes on Sunday morning in which they can interview MP's on what they're doing for young people in this country.I couldn't give a shit about their views, there is absolutely nothing a 12 year old could teach me, apart from useless shit like 'Twilight' or X Factor, which is information nobody needs to keep stored in their minds.If I was given a soapbox in the form of a 1 hour program, I'd barely have a chance to take a breath, and 25 minutes of that would be aimed at stupid fucking children and their views on the world AND their stupid fucking "post-modern-hippy" parents, in their nice Top Shop/Burton clothing and their Ipods, like "Why the fuck did you name your child 'Angel-Jade' or 'Dylon' you miserable fucking runts".I'd like to see how their views would differ (or not matter a fucking inch) when they're queuing up in the job centre in the real world. CUNTs.

[retrogeezer]

I guess you have to think yourself lucky they owned up coz that is pretty unusual.

[trigger]

I nearly lost the door on a Peugeot 106 1.4D i once had, I opened it at work on a windy day, The wind ripped it out of my hand and it flew right open creasing the length of the door against the edge of the front wing, I did swear but it least it was only a shitter.