The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

My Uncle Benji died @ 6.15am this morning.

 

A top bloke, helped myself and bro onto the road of shite appreciation with delights such as a Renno 16TX, Ford Granada 3.0, and Volvo 244dl, along with work vans Honda Acty, Austin Metro and Renault Trafic.

 

Also a championship quality swearing enthusiast, who taught me that it is perfectly acceptable to amalgamate a few swear words into one great one for better effect...ie Shitcunt, and Fuckbollocks.

 

Sorry to hear that, Bobaldo.

[Cavcraft]

I'd kick the fucker round the yard, stamp on his face, and shout "You'd best not try blaming me for this!"..... then piss on him.

 

 

This. And PLEASE do not weigh that Cav off, they're getting rarer by the minute and without doubt are Vauxhall's finest hour. Wang the door car off, get a rubber hammer and gently tap that dent out.

In fact if you think on pm me tomorrow (Sunday) and I should be sober by then so if needs be I'll post you out my slide hammer if you like.

[The Moog]

I have a full slide hammer set you can have if you want. Was going to store it when I was away but if it helps it is all yours.

[Lankytim]

I think you should wait until the suspect Cav vandal is walking across the yard then fire up the 4x4 and chase him round a bit. Pin him up against a fence with the front bumper while revving the engine and laughing at him, make him PAY....

 

Sorry started daydreaming a bit there.....

[HillmanImp]

Look at these feckin' arseholes.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rc5JsMn0LRQ

[meggersdog]

shame that lorry didn't get closer to the cameraman twat

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I'm no horse expert, but i'm fairly certain that if you razz one along a hard surface it knackers its knees and joints up in short order. These cock-knockers should be gassed.

[MrDuke]

^^^ That, and the fact that metal horseshoes on tarmac/asphalt are unsurprisingly lacking in grip. When I used to ride many moons ago, we used the local surfaced roads solely to get to and from bridleways, and then with extreme care.

[Guest]

They do this on the roads near the local big gypsy site, just one of many things they do to endear themselves to the public.

[Lankytim]

The local Gippos that have been moved into a couple of houses a few doors down from us are a right pain in the a$$. On Thursday night we heard hysterical screaming and shouting (even more hysterical than ususal) and in the morning found our driveway cordoned off with police tape and saw rozzers with forensic suits wandering about. Apparenty some of the gippos family had turned up and attacked one of the lads with a machette, nearly hacking his arm off. There's still blood all over the gaffe now! This isn't an isolated incident, they are always brawling in the street, shouting, swearing and generally making a total nuisance of themselves.

 

Since they were moved in by whatever authority deals with housing Gypsies everyone else has suddenly put their homes up for sale and are trying to move out. As a result of this, plus the extra crime that is being commited by our Irish horse loving friends our home has gone down in value by 10k. The police are round there nearly every day, plus our wheelie bin often goes missing, as they think they deserve two per house, instead of just one (aah sorra maate, didt see ya number on tha taarp). That vid of them razzing ponies into oncoming traffic on a bypass just sums up how much of a shit they give about anybody or anything around them.

 

I would say that i'd like them all to feck off to whever they came from (Ireland, presumably) but then that would be racist, so I won't.

[RedSparrow]

Here is CZ there are a lot of issues with gypsies. They are Roma ones here. The communists housed them and forced them to work - 'assimilation' - but since 1989 they discovered that they can do fuck all and earn more money by having babies. They are 5% of the population but 65% of the prison population, Czech families have on average 1 or 2 kids, their average is 4 or 5.

What people told me at first I found racist, but I am beginning to see why the Czechs are pissed off with them more and more each day.

What is odd is for the first time I am living somewhere where the attitude is that there are proper 'second class citizens', as if they are not as human as white people.

 

Oddly lots of Czechs tell me how they love Irish people. I have to explain that the gypsies we have in the UK mainly come from Ireland, which they are dissapointed to hear.

 

Anyway, those people racing horses on the road are dicks. As are the middle class 'social activists' who defended Dale Farm.

[Cavcraft]

No idea if it's true, but been told by a few people that Ireland don't want them back. There's stacks of 'em near where I work, mostly in houses but plenty of 'can I buy some land for a few horses and a shelter' subsequently turned into ad hoc caravan parks.

[MrDuke]

Yeah, I heard a few years back that the reaction to them in Ireland makes us look welcoming by comparison, and that's why there are so many here. Apparently the Irish will subject them to all levels of organised abuse & violence with no comeback from the cops. That could be balls, but wouldn't surprise me at all.

[Cavcraft]

Bloke I used to know many moons back said Saturday nights in Rhyl were great fun as they'd come out of the pubs/clubs and go 'gyppo bashing'. That sounds like the ideal kind of sport to me.

[MrDuke]

Here is CZ there are a lot of issues with gypsies. They are Roma ones here. The communists housed them and forced them to work - 'assimilation' - but since 1989 they discovered that they can do fuck all and earn more money by having babies. They are 5% of the population but 65% of the prison population, Czech families have on average 1 or 2 kids, their average is 4 or 5.

 

That actually surprises me. When I was younger, Mutha_Duke refused to use the term 'gypsies' when describing Irish travellers. In her view, real Gypsies were all Roma, and she'd tell numerous stories about the local ones she knew when growing up in rural Essex - apparently they were genuinely nice people who'd work hard for the farmers as long as they weren't tied into a long-term job, and in many cases were skilled craftspeople who turned out really good products. One guy was completely illiterate, had never had a day of school in his life, but used to build awesome working replica steam-engines and sell them for peanuts.

Although I suppose they could've been solitary exceptions to the rule. I always thought there was historical prejudice against Roma gypsies purely because they wouldn't integrate into normal society, but perhaps the majority were always thieving work-shy tossers, considering your post!!

 

Oh, and I still don't understand how slating Irish travellers is 'racist' (last time I checked, I was exactly the same colour & shape as them) nor do I understand how in the blue f*ck they got themselves classified as a seperate 'ethnic group'. Seriously

[cms206]

Not letting the Cavalier dents get to me. I've slept on it and I've returned to my normal laid back self... no point getting angry, won't solve anything.

 

Plan is back to get it back on the road again. I miss it terribly. And it's fuel economy...

[Louise2cv]

Sorry to hear that Outlaw.

[Cavcraft]

It IS classed as racist if you called them 'Irish *******' but if you suggested they were 'Ballymena *******' that'd be fine. Basically mention a country it's racism, mention a town, city, village, county from that country and it's not.

They place the race card because they're gypsies, seemingly not because they're Irish. I still laugh when one of them got pulled up on Roadwars (or a programme like that) in some shonky old Transit and called the copper a racist for pulling him over. Never mind it was a massive vehicle check operation, obviously the coppers knew the driver was a gypsy

[Negative Creep]

It IS classed as racist if you called them 'Irish *******' but if you suggested they were 'Ballymena *******' that'd be fine. Basically mention a country it's racism, mention a town, city, village, county from that country and it's not.

They place the race card because they're gypsies, seemingly not because they're Irish. I still laugh when one of them got pulled up on Roadwars (or a programme like that) in some shonky old Transit and called the copper a racist for pulling him over. Never mind it was a massive vehicle check operation, obviously the coppers knew the driver was a gypsy

 

 

The word "pikey" has been banned on Pistonheads after the owners received legal threats. Personally I'd put the "travellers" all on a ferry back to Ireland, then torpedo the fucking thing halfway across

[Albert Ross]

One of them would still manage to throw his hand at the beach.................

And the boat would have been weighed in for scrap before they sailed....

[vulgalour]

In lighter news, I just managed to reverse into the house.

[Albert Ross]

So... it's 40 feet tall, brick red, and immovable. Get yourself to specsavers lad....

[vulgalour]

I have no excuse for my stupid. I are special with a capital Spesh.

[cms206]

My mate once drove into his block of flats in his Mk2 Granada 2.8GL.

 

He'd forgotten that in heavy rain he could either have the windows up OR use the demisters. Not both. Still doesn't know how he managed not to hit his missus' Honda Civic.

[tonedepear]

I crashed my Citroen ZX into Stevenage Ice Bowl in 2000/2001. Cos the car park was icy.

[Cavcraft]

A lad I worked with once crashed his car through a motorbike showroom window. Because he was pissed.

[RoadworkUK]

"I bet you anything this will be a number one hit..."

 

....said of the chap on Britain's Got Talent who "raps" about losing his keys and mobile phone.

 

And the trouble is... they're right! Right now a trillion brain-dead mouthbreathers or 9-14 year olds with internet access are frantically downloading it to play at school next week.

 

People should be forced to wait until they're 25 before they're allowed to listen to music. And then they should have to be psychometrically profiled first.

[chaseracer]

I reversed a Fiat Punto into a school some years back...

[eddyramrod]

I backed my first A40 into my house....

[messerschmitt owner]

I have no excuse for my stupid. I are special with a capital Spesh.

this post is useless without pictures!