The grumpy thread

[Mr_Bo11ox]

^^^^^ Agreed - frag it.

[Cavcraft]

Just replace it with another Escort. Preferably a 1.8 petrol estate in white from some knobhead in Chester to spend on ale.

 

EFA.

[trigger]

I take it you've just bought the one Si was offloading then?.

[Cavcraft]

Indeed. There I was just now getting a bit smug as I was cleaning it and I broke the ******g driver's door mirror

[CreepingJesus]

And so it begins. Yet another car used to stop someone's fucking Asda trolley. In my current nicotine-less quasi psychosis, the outcome wouldn't be good. Does it constitute a reasonable defense for excessive violence?

The V70 was pleasingly free of supermarket dents, but despite me parking the thing a long way down the car park, on its' own, with a clear space in every direction for the last 6 weeks....some fucker has scraped something right off the o/s front corner. Bumper, indicator lens and wing top all scraped.

Whoever you are, I fucking hate you, and I hope your next shit's a hedgehog. A hedgehog the size of a watermelon, which has just rolled in chilli, vinegar and salt. And is feeling a bit bitey on the way out. It's what you deserve.

[Station]

I love the summer, but as soon as a new football season starts I feel miserable.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Sorry to hear that, CJ. Can't you ask for some CCTV footage?

[andrew e]

Of the hedgehog?

[Negative Creep]

3 different people phoned up wanting to view the BMW today.

 

 

Have a guess how many showed up. Really, just take a wild stab in the dark

[Station]

3 x 0 ?

[dollywobbler]

Have you tried hammering a socket over them? Ideal twunt technique.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

3 different people phoned up wanting to view the BMW today.

 

 

Have a guess how many showed up. Really, just take a wild stab in the dark

 

If anyone else rings, be sure to get their phone number ("just in case something comes up or you have to dash out or whatever"). Obv then if they dont turn up you can ring them up and ask 'are you f**king coming then or not'. Just having their number will weed out 85% of no-shows.

[Albert Ross]

3 different people phoned up wanting to view the BMW today.

 

 

Have a guess how many showed up. Really, just take a wild stab in the dark

 

If anyone else rings, be sure to get their phone number ("just in case something comes up or you have to dash out or whatever"). Obv then if they dont turn up you can ring them up and ask 'are you f**king coming then or not'. Just having their number will weed out 85% of no-shows.

 

Or post their number on an "alternative" dating website......

[Negative Creep]

I do have their numbers but probably not a good idea to ring up abusing them seeing as they also have my number (plus one has my address). Still, there's always that minuscule chance they will actually turn up or rearrange.........

[CIH]

3 different people phoned up wanting to view the BMW today.

 

 

Have a guess how many showed up. Really, just take a wild stab in the dark

 

17 ?

[pdg]

Mythbusters - 'nuff said...

[Amazo]

Mythbusters - 'nuff said...

Much as I like that show (especially Kari Byron ), the one thing that annoys me about it is the needless destruction of some lovely old automotive shite.

[Station]

I think it's really good, even though it did repeat itself to death and have adverts every 5 minutes.

At least it doesn't have Jeremy Clarkson/James May/Richard Hammond/Mike Brewer/Dominic Littlewood in it.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I do have their numbers but probably not a good idea to ring up abusing them seeing as they also have my number (plus one has my address). Still, there's always that minuscule chance they will actually turn up or rearrange.........

 

Yeh i'm not saying you should actually abuse them, just ring them up half an hour after their 'appointmemt' to ask whats happened to them.

[Cavcraft]

Nah, sod 'em. Had a bloke ring up once, left an answerphone message with his number twatting on at some length about how he was 'definately going to come down and buy the car'. Called him back an hour later and he denied ever calling me and an arugment developed where I felt obliged to call him some choice names. He then got all keypad warrior on me which was quite amusing. I do know that calling him up at 3.00 in the morning about the taxi service he was(nt) advertising on the web didn't please him too much though.

[maxpower]

fat lazy workshy kids who think food and fuggin electricity come free

 

who won't even go to the shops to replace anything that they have fuggin eaten.... i can see a few suitcases being packed this weekend!

 

and they won't be mine!

 

rant over

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

"thanks for paying for our holidays"

[John F]

WHY do those bastards feel the need to write HORSES on the back of their fucking horse transporters? Eh?

 

WHY THE FUCK?

 

Are we supposed to care?? Or is Mr Bastard just boasting that he has sufficient spare wodge to spoil Mrs Bastard and her little dahlings rotten?

 

Whatever the reason, they are Cunts. All of them.

 

Rant over.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

It's only because they're too polite to write 'CUNTS'. However, it has the same effect (i.e. making it easier for other people to avoid them).

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I saw a massive horsebox the other day, the reg no. was 'HOR5Y'! To be fair though it had a not unattractive (no doubt jodhpur-clad) milf-type character driving it.

[trigger]

Was this horsebox pink?, that could have been Katie "I wouldn't even with yours mate" Price.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

It DEFO WAS NOT Katie Price and looked nowt like her

[Cavcraft]

Saw a brown, early (1986-ish I think) Montego yesterday near Nantwich and didn't have my camera. It looked bloody tidy too.

[meggersdog]

Sold my Merc CLK on fleabay yesterday on the provision I MOT it.Booked the MOT for tomorrow morning,been out to it today and there is a fooking great crack in the windscreen.Eh, the car hasn't moved off the drive since yesterday afternoon so how the blinking heck did that happen ? Phoned the (asian) buyer to tell him and it's all "oh yeah, someone offered more money " no it genuinely has got a crack and I genuinely am p*ssed off about it.

[maxpower]

Sold my Merc CLK on fleabay yesterday on the provision I MOT it.Booked the MOT for tomorrow morning,been out to it today and there is a fooking great crack in the windscreen.Eh, the car hasn't moved off the drive since yesterday afternoon so how the blinking heck did that happen ? Phoned the (asian) buyer to tell him and it's all "oh yeah, someone offered more money " no it genuinely has got a crack and I genuinely am p*ssed off about it.

 

tell him if he still wants it he can have the cracked windscreen thrown in for no extra charge