The grumpy thread

[Pillock]

banning some of the trolls that don't post much about cars might help.

 

No, that might include me

I've only got one car, and I don't do heroic stuff like driving a perkins-engined Marina pickup 500 miles home with no electrics.

I still like the place though!

[nigel bickle]

220 miles today in a Gaz

 

Living the dream -counting the cost....

[Louise2cv]

The weather.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

220 miles today in a Gaz

 

Living the dream -counting the cost....

 

NEED MOAR INFO

[seth]

thus rendering my name a laughingstock for use by sitcom TV and slasher flick writers.

 

 

[trigger]

The fact that nobody names their children "Norm" or "Norma" any more

 

I work with a bloke called Norm, well his real name is Steve, but we call him Norm, I'm not sure why, Something to do with a old footballer i think.

[trigger]

Just got a email from a "interested" buyer on ebay, There seems to be no escaping from these scamming fuckwits anymore

 

Customer Details:NAME: MR emma brad

TELEPHONE: EMAIL: [email protected]

Vehicle Details:MAKE: NISSAN

MODEL: MICRA

PRICE: £3395

Message:HELLO SELLER, I SAW THE ADVERT OF YOUR CAR ON AUTOTRADER. WHICH IS FOR SALE. I AM OKAYWITH THE CONDITIONS OF THE CAR AND I AM READY TO BUY FROM YOU. I AM BASED INDUBLIN IRELAND ,BUT AT THE MOMENT AM ENGAGED IN ALOT OF THINGS TO COME FOR THEVIEWING OF THE CAR. AM OKAY WITH YOUR PRICE AND AM READY TO GIVE YOU EXTRA'S OF£100 EXTRA FOR SECURING OF THE CAR SO IT WOULD NOT BE SOLD TO ANOTHER BUYER ,ANDFOR YOU TO KNOW HOW COMMITED I AM IN BUYING FROM YOU.I WILL LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT I CAN'T COME FOR THE VIEWING OF THE CAR AS EARLIERSTATED CAUSE I'M VERY BUSY AT WORK RIGHT NOW, BUT WITH WHAT I SAW ON THE ADVERTI AM SATISFIED.I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND ME SOME PICTURES OF THE PRESENT LOOK OFTHE CAR.I LOVE THIS PARTICULAR MODEL.I WILL BE VERY HAPPY IF THE CAR IS MINE.I WILL ALSO WANT YOU TO KNOW I WILL BE PAYING YOU WITH A BANKER'S DRAFT, THEAMOUNT ON THIS DRAFT WILL BE MORE THAN THE PRICE OF YOUR CAR [OVERPAYMENT].THE EXCESS FUND ON THE DRAFT WILL BE FOR MY SHIPPING AGENT THAT WILL COME THE FOR PICKUP OF THE CAR AND SOMEOF MY OTHER ITEMS I ALREADY BHOUGHT INSIDE AND OUTSIDE UK .ONCE YOU HAVE FUNDS CLEARED IN TO YOUR ACCOUNT YOU WILL DEDUCT YOUR TOTAL MONEYPLUS THE EXTRA'S FROM THE FUNDS AND WIRE THE EXCESS TO MY AGENT FOR PICKUP, SOTHAT THEY CAN PROCEED WITH THE NECESSARY PAPERWORK AND ARRANGE WITH YOU ACONVINIENT DATE AND TIME FOR PICKUP.IF THIS IS OKAY BY YOU,YOU WILL HAVE TO GET BACK TO ME WITH SOME NECESSARYINFORMATION WHICH WILL BE NEEDED FOR THIS TRANSACTION TO PROCEED.THE INFORMATION IS AS FOLLOW; YOUR FULL NAME....YOUR FULL ADDRESS WITH POSTCODE......YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBERS BOTH OFFICE AND MOBILE/HOME NUMBERS...N:BTHE NAME YOU GIVE WILL BE THE NAME YOU WILL SEE ON THE CHEQUE AND IT WILL BESENT TO THE ADDRESS YOU MAIL TO ME.YOUR PHONE NUMBERIS FOR TIME TO TIME CONTACT.ALSO IF ANY BUYER CONTACT YOU ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR CAR, PLEASE TELL THEM IT'SALREADY BEEN SOLD CAUSE AM READY TO MAKE PAYMENT AS SOON AS I GET THOES DETAILSNEEDED FROM YOU..I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO A HAPPY TRANSACTION.HOPING TO READ FROM YOU SOON.REGARDS,

[M'coli]

Just got a email from a "interested" buyer on ebay, There seems to be no escaping from these scamming fuckwits anymore

 

Customer Details:NAME: MR emma brad

TELEPHONE: EMAIL: [email protected]

Vehicle Details:MAKE: NISSAN

MODEL: MICRA

PRICE: £3395

Message:HELLO SELLER, I SAW THE ADVERT OF YOUR CAR ON AUTOTRADER. WHICH IS FOR SALE. I AM OKAYWITH THE CONDITIONS OF THE CAR AND I AM READY TO BUY FROM YOU. I AM BASED INDUBLIN IRELAND ,BUT AT THE MOMENT AM ENGAGED IN ALOT OF THINGS TO COME FOR THEVIEWING OF THE CAR. AM OKAY WITH YOUR PRICE AND AM READY TO GIVE YOU EXTRA'S OF£100 EXTRA FOR SECURING OF THE CAR SO IT WOULD NOT BE SOLD TO ANOTHER BUYER ,ANDFOR YOU TO KNOW HOW COMMITED I AM IN BUYING FROM YOU.I WILL LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT I CAN'T COME FOR THE VIEWING OF THE CAR AS EARLIERSTATED CAUSE I'M VERY BUSY AT WORK RIGHT NOW, BUT WITH WHAT I SAW ON THE ADVERTI AM SATISFIED.I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND ME SOME PICTURES OF THE PRESENT LOOK OFTHE CAR.I LOVE THIS PARTICULAR MODEL.I WILL BE VERY HAPPY IF THE CAR IS MINE.I WILL ALSO WANT YOU TO KNOW I WILL BE PAYING YOU WITH A BANKER'S DRAFT, THEAMOUNT ON THIS DRAFT WILL BE MORE THAN THE PRICE OF YOUR CAR [OVERPAYMENT].THE EXCESS FUND ON THE DRAFT WILL BE FOR MY SHIPPING AGENT THAT WILL COME THE FOR PICKUP OF THE CAR AND SOMEOF MY OTHER ITEMS I ALREADY BHOUGHT INSIDE AND OUTSIDE UK .ONCE YOU HAVE FUNDS CLEARED IN TO YOUR ACCOUNT YOU WILL DEDUCT YOUR TOTAL MONEYPLUS THE EXTRA'S FROM THE FUNDS AND WIRE THE EXCESS TO MY AGENT FOR PICKUP, SOTHAT THEY CAN PROCEED WITH THE NECESSARY PAPERWORK AND ARRANGE WITH YOU ACONVINIENT DATE AND TIME FOR PICKUP.IF THIS IS OKAY BY YOU,YOU WILL HAVE TO GET BACK TO ME WITH SOME NECESSARYINFORMATION WHICH WILL BE NEEDED FOR THIS TRANSACTION TO PROCEED.THE INFORMATION IS AS FOLLOW; YOUR FULL NAME....YOUR FULL ADDRESS WITH POSTCODE......YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBERS BOTH OFFICE AND MOBILE/HOME NUMBERS...N:BTHE NAME YOU GIVE WILL BE THE NAME YOU WILL SEE ON THE CHEQUE AND IT WILL BESENT TO THE ADDRESS YOU MAIL TO ME.YOUR PHONE NUMBERIS FOR TIME TO TIME CONTACT.ALSO IF ANY BUYER CONTACT YOU ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR CAR, PLEASE TELL THEM IT'SALREADY BEEN SOLD CAUSE AM READY TO MAKE PAYMENT AS SOON AS I GET THOES DETAILSNEEDED FROM YOU..I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO A HAPPY TRANSACTION.HOPING TO READ FROM YOU SOON.REGARDS,

http://anonymouse.org/anonemail.html

[Pillock]

If you've got a spare five minutes, have some fun. The guy clearly doesn't know about cars, so email him back

 

"I'm ever so sorry Mr Emma, I was out for a drive in it today and the spaniel lock has engaged on the rear differential. This means that the rotary drier doesn't work any more - I've had other people interested though so will you still be willing to pay the full asking price? I'd be happy to take the overpayment too, that sounds like a safe deal."

 

For more giggles, send pictures of a car that clearly isn't the one in the advert, preferably accident damaged.

[autofive]

how about

" thanks for your offer Emma, but i have already accepted a cheque for 1 million US dollars from a Kenyan Prince"

[Guest]

I AM SORRY MAH DEAH FREND. MAH ACCOWNT HAF DIED OFF DE BIRD FLEW.

[warren t claim]

Women with tattoos. I just don't get it. How the hell did they become fashionable?

[trigger]

Nosh or no nosh Warren?.

 

[warren t claim]

Tattoos or not, NO NOSH!

[autofive]

Nosh or no nosh Warren?.

 

 

"lydia oh lydia, the encyclopidia......."

[Cavcraft]

/\

 

Didn't Groucho sing a song about that in one of the Marx Brothers films? I think it was the one where he said to that bird 'I'll dance with you until the cows come home. But on second thoughts I'll dance with the cows until you come home'?

[trigger]

I had to google that as i didn't have clue what A5 was on about, but your quite right Cavette.

 

http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/song_ ... ongID=6442

[warren t claim]

I've just gone out to my car to retrieve my second bottle of vodka for the evening and the spring that holds my boot open has broken. Arse!

[brammy777]

What a hectic few weeks. Apologies to all those who PM'd me in that time, I haven't had the time to come on here, and sort of forgot about it. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am pretty much out of work and I have been making many trips to the job centre and sorting out JSA, which is a right pain. So many forms to fill out, and my last payslip was backdated to the middle of January, meaning it was way above what I had declared what I was earning, which got me a few sour comments at the job centre. And apparently I have to send them off yet again, despite me receiving a letter stating I had been approved for JSA now. It doesn't feel good getting this money, and I have been applying for every job I could do. Annoyingly, there is alot of people doing exactly the same as me, even getting a reply for the email I sent off is something nowadays. Tell you what though, some of the attitudes of people who go to the job centre make me fume, how someone who makes no effort whatsoever into looking for full time work can sit back and complain about not getting any dole money is beyond me. But enough of that ranting, it's good to be back. I see I have alot to catch up on...

Don't worry, I won't drag up dead threads.

[M'coli]

Tempcover.com - someone came to look at the Saab, we agreed a price and then he needed to go on-line to organise day insurance to get it home. He inputs his details, the details of the car, then gets a screen where it says "We will not cover you if the car is worth less than £1500", so he's gone home to sort out his annual insurance and hopefully come back during the week, while I'm left with a Saab. Most frustrating.

[Richard]

Can't you just say it is worth £1500?

[boobydoo]

 

 

 

That's Isobel Varley, "The Worlds Most Tattooed Senior Woman"...she lives in Stevenage and I've met her a few times, as she drives a brand new Merc. Nice lady. She travels all over the world to conventions and the like. Always wears long sleeves and gloves etc even in Summer and always whiffs of Savlon.

 

Here's her website if you like looking at people getting their butt-holes and genitalia tattooed!!

 

http://www.isobelvarley.com/

[brammy777]

Turns out that she got her first Tattoos in the same Dunstable parlour I did, although the bloke running it has aged a bit since then.

[Negative Creep]

Can't you just say it is worth £1500?

 

 

That's what I did when picking up the MR2

[dollywobbler]

Confession - I actually like the 'council house barcode' tats that girls have on their lower backs, though I'd prefer it if it was Allegro or Princess in a nice script like the badges. And no, Mrs Wobbler hasn't got one. The Austin-Rover logo maybe - birthday pressie sorted!

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

What's the 'council house barcode' tattoo?

I don't like tattoos, but I like Isobel Varley and how matter of fact she is.

[Richard]

The "tramp stamp"?

[dollywobbler]

The "tramp stamp"?

That's the one. Chinese scripty sort of stuff.

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

Ghastly.

[Cheggers]

What a hectic few weeks. Apologies to all those who PM'd me in that time, I haven't had the time to come on here, and sort of forgot about it. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am pretty much out of work and I have been making many trips to the job centre and sorting out JSA, which is a right pain. So many forms to fill out, and my last payslip was backdated to the middle of January, meaning it was way above what I had declared what I was earning, which got me a few sour comments at the job centre. And apparently I have to send them off yet again, despite me receiving a letter stating I had been approved for JSA now. It doesn't feel good getting this money, and I have been applying for every job I could do. Annoyingly, there is alot of people doing exactly the same as me, even getting a reply for the email I sent off is something nowadays. Tell you what though, some of the attitudes of people who go to the job centre make me fume, how someone who makes no effort whatsoever into looking for full time work can sit back and complain about not getting any dole money is beyond me. But enough of that ranting, it's good to be back. I see I have alot to catch up on...

Don't worry, I won't drag up dead threads.

 

You have my sympathy Brammy...I had a spell out of work about 18 months ago and the whole JobCentre experience was hell on earth. I remember walking in for the first time and the mong behind the desk asked me what I wanted to claim - he seemed quite taken aback when I said I'd rather find a job and not have to claim anything - they really should call it a JobSeekers Allowance centre rather than a JobCentre. I had to go to the JS once every couple of weeks to prove I was still alive (they didn't seem to give a toss whether I was actually looking for work or not), and it was by far the most depressing, soul-destroying part of being unemployed. The only visit I truly enjoyed was the one when I got to tell them I'd found a job without their "help" and that I'd hopefully never have to see them again. When the mong found out how much I'd be earning in my new role, he looked at me like I'd just curled one out in his lunchbox. Stick with it, you'll get sorted soon enough!!!