The grumpy thread

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I drove my Rover 100 miles today, it was great, until i realised oil is pouring out of the bottom of the bellhousing. Now it looks like i'm going to have to dismantle half the fuggin oily bits AGAIN

[scaryoldcortina]

Internet "Test your IQ" sites...

 

Mrs S's idea... she just got me to do a couple of online IQ tests for no particular reason - I didn't want to particularly because I think IQ tests are basically bunk and tell you nothing useful. But, to appease the missus, I googled for some and did the first couple of hits.

 

First one... Seemed straightforward, reasonably taxing (but standard) questions in a range of diciplines, 40 questions, on a timer... completed it quickly despite the half a bottle of wine, lateness of the hour and nipping off to let the dog out in the middle of the test (yeah, thats how seriously I was taking it) so obviously I was really eager to see my results.

 

First, it asked for my full name, address, home phone number and email address (so I lied)

Then it went through 10 screens of "enter your mobile number" special offers and text subscription services (all of which I skipped) before finally informing me that my IQ is 161 and therefore "exceptionally gifted" and on a par with Albert Einstein. Like I'm going to believe a bunch of scammers!

 

Second test, "mensa approved" (I could tell you a few things about mensa) was a load of pattern matching bollocks that frankly I found boring and wished was over. I was well chuffed that after 10 minutes of it, I was expected to input my mobile number so they can text me the result (at £1.50) and subscribe me to their "quiz" at £6 for 4 texts per week forever. So obviously, I shut the window and don't know how I scored on their poxy test.

 

I'm grumpy because it has been a while since I've seen such a blatent ego-pandering scam. I did the "free" Mensa test (advertized in Private eye 25 years ago) they told me I was a genius, eligible for membership, just send them £100 to sit the adjudicated test, and I can join their society (at £35 per year)... paying money to prove how smart I am just stikes me as dumb.

[autofive]

  scaryoldcortina said:

Internet "Test your IQ" sites...

First, it asked for my full name, address, home phone number and email address (so I lied)

 

 

David murphy?

 

 

im grumpy, grumpy as feck

 

no internet access since 7pm last night

 

i miss out on 3 ebay auctions i wanted to bid on (and all three finished really cheap), couldnt read my PMs on a certain ford forum with the address & phone number for some spares i was due to collect at 9pm, or finish downloading the '70s film "No blade of grass" - poxy BT 'upgrading' the exchange without warning

rang BT to report the fault just before 8pm - recorded message; "we are sorry no one is available to take your call, ring back tomorrow"

 

and then when i rang bt broadband help desk thingy all i got was the engaged tone - what use is that?

 

and all this on my mobile phone

 

 

b'stards

 

 

edit: not just b'stards but lying b'strds - just read this on the beebnews site

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-11656851

[myglaren]

^^ and

  Tayne said:

Flickr's broke.

 

It won't give me the codes to post pictures here.

No Chile update for you lot tonight.

 

I have been having intermittent internet connection problems for a week, with increasing severity, with the phones being down too.

Spent ages last night after my son went to work, replacing the router, ripping out the internal phone network (don't use it since buying dect phones) in case that was the problem, rewired the BT main socket, noted a corroded resistor and thought I had nailed the problem. reconnected the new router but still nothing.

Got up this morning to find everything working except my Linux computer that is on an etherent wires link. Turned out to be the Ethernet extension to the new router (located a few yardst from the old one) plugged everything back into the old router and all is well.

 

Son comes in and informs me that it is on the news that a BT exchange in Edinbugger has been causing all sorts of mayhem throughout the sceptic isle

[Richard]

  watanabe said:

Windows 7.

 

Does not work

 

EFA. It's like Vista without the charm.

[myglaren]

  Richard said:

  watanabe said:

Windows 7.

 

Does not work

 

EFA. It's like Vista without the charm.

 

What Charm

[myglaren]

Broadband problems fixed

[Timewaster]

  Mr_Bo11ox said:

I drove my Rover 100 miles today

 

Could be worse I read that as "I drove my Rover100 miles today"

 

[RedSparrow]

Fucking paypal. I have a load of old tat that I've sold on ebay and need to post and their shitty postage label thing isn't working. You'd think they could at least get their shit website to work considering how much they rip people off for every day.

[Cavcraft]

Two hours kip and five hours in A+E last night, six pints this afternoon and feel like death warmed up.

[warren t claim]

  Cavette said:

Two hours kip and five hours in A+E last night, six pints this afternoon and feel like death warmed up.

 

A normal night out in Chester then?

[Mr Lobster]

  Mr_Bo11ox said:

I drove my Rover 100 miles today

 

  tontops said:

Could be worse I read that as "I drove my Rover100 miles today"

 

 

That would surely be a Mr P. Weasels favourite day out.

[pogweasel]

Only if said journey in a faux-rover was one-way to the frag machine.

 

My grumpings today is the shittyness of trains on a saturday, tea-time. I've worked about 70 hours this week, so last thing I want to do when I finish at half five on a saturday is to (a) get caught in the mother of all crowd-jams at Bank station (claustrophobia, anyone?) then have to sit scratching my balls for an hour and ten minutes at kings' cross because there's no trains stopping at Poggleswade. WHY!?

[mattblack]

I thought the MOT was up on the Rover 'soon'. I've just looked at the certificate... October 27th.

 

Bumhats. Looks like the O/H will be getting up early on Monday to take me to work.

[Cavcraft]

  warren t claim said:

  Cavette said:

Two hours kip and five hours in A+E last night, six pints this afternoon and feel like death warmed up.

 

A normal night out in Chester then?

 

It probably sums it up actually but all the above incidents are unrelated.

 

Round your neck of the woods today by the way, Rock Ferry as it 'appens.

[Mike D]

  mattblack said:

I thought the MOT was up on the Rover 'soon'. I've just looked at the certificate... October 27th.

 

Bumhats. Looks like the O/H will be getting up early on Monday to take me to work.

 

 

I'm pretty sure it's just a fixed penalty for no MOT, you can't get points for it anyway... I just carry on til I can get it booked in

[maxpower]

PLOD

 

caught drug infested scrote breaking into my car last night.... rather than waiting a lifetime for old bill to arrive, i kicked 7 bells outta the cnut and sent him on his way.

 

today four plod turn up and say junkie is wanting to press charges for assault

 

wtf about my car window thats lying in a million fragments all over my seat... the damage to my radio when he ripped it out??

 

funny how when you need those fucking wastes of space (police) you never see one, but when they show up to feel your collar they are fighting each other to get in your house..

 

plod did say that the druggie never mentioned breaking into the car...well he wouldn't would he

 

i await their next move

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

It's the nanny state gone mentally challenged.

[autofive]

  maxpower said:

PLOD

 

caught drug infested scrote breaking into my car last night.... rather than waiting a lifetime for old bill to arrive, i kicked 7 bells outta the cnut and sent him on his way.

 

today four plod turn up and say junkie is wanting to press charges for assault

 

wtf about my car window thats lying in a million fragments all over my seat... the damage to my radio when he ripped it out??

 

funny how when you need those fucking wastes of space (police) you never see one, but when they show up to feel your collar they are fighting each other to get in your house..

 

plod did say that the druggie never mentioned breaking into the car...well he wouldn't would he

 

i await their next move

 

deny everything - admit you caught him thieving from you and used reasonable force to remove him from your property - but deny excessive force

 

maybe you could remember about a witness for the whole thing

 

cps would probably drop it then

[Lankytim]

  maxpower said:

caught drug infested scrote breaking into my car last night.... rather than waiting a lifetime for old bill to arrive, i kicked 7 bells outta the cnut and sent him on his way.

 

today four plod turn up and say junkie is wanting to press charges for assault

 

 

What a fucking cheek!!! Drug addled piss taking waste of space!

 

I guess the cops have a duty to investigae any complaint of assault BUT..

 

A druggie.. unlikely to show up in court, unlikely to have any money to pay any sort of fine. I.E a waste of police resources pursuing him.

 

A motorist... will show up in court, will probably plead guilty to whatever, does have money to pay a fine, IS worth chasing.

 

A few years ago a had a mate who had an uninsured pisshead run into the back of his car. The pisshead flatly refused to pay for the damage and admitted he had no insurance, he expected that to be the end of the matter. Matey had different ideas and frog marched him to a cash point there and then to pay for the damage. Justice served? Nope. Next day he was arrested and eventually went down for kidnap and robbery!

[Pete-M]

Tonight is 'misery night' for those who've not experienced it.

 

I've just been to a friends house for a couple of hours, and when I went back to my car I noticed that all of the older cars in the street had had their windows smashed, either side or windscreen. I imagine that'll be the end of most of 'em as they'll be scrapped instead of repaired.

 

This hasn't made me happy, even though the Jag survived intact.

[stephend]

  autofive said:

  maxpower said:

PLOD

 

caught drug infested scrote breaking into my car last night.... rather than waiting a lifetime for old bill to arrive, i kicked 7 bells outta the cnut and sent him on his way.

 

today four plod turn up and say junkie is wanting to press charges for assault

 

wtf about my car window thats lying in a million fragments all over my seat... the damage to my radio when he ripped it out??

 

funny how when you need those fucking wastes of space (police) you never see one, but when they show up to feel your collar they are fighting each other to get in your house..

 

plod did say that the druggie never mentioned breaking into the car...well he wouldn't would he

 

i await their next move

 

deny everything - admit you caught him thieving from you and used reasonable force to remove him from your property - but deny excessive force

 

maybe you could remember about a witness for the whole thing

 

cps would probably drop it then

 

Sounds like a plan, and or report him for attempted theft, damage etc etc.

[Guest]

Obviously depends on the circumstances, but given that he is unlikely to be able to fabricate a witness, you might as well just deny doing anything other than coming out of the house and startling him into running off. Maybe he fell down the stairs.

 

I often wonder whether it would probably be best just to completely kill them - they can't go whinging to anyone and it's unlikely anyone will know where they've gone, they'll just be a bit of a flake who can disappear with little consequence. Obviously I would be gambling a murder charge on this so it's probably best it's unlikely to happen.

[Lankytim]

You'd have the problem of what to do with the body, too. A vat of acid is meant to be pretty good, reducing a body to gloop in a few hours. Dunno where you could get that sort of stuff from though!

[CIH]

Try Boots the Chemist.

[M'coli]

The wife has just agreed with her sister for us to go to theirs for Christmas. Apparently we'd 'be delighted' to go to hers for Christmas. I didn't even get the choice of saying no, or of suggesting anything else.

[CIH]

GreenFlag and they're naughty auto renewal bollocks. Cheeky feckers, car was sold off months ago.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Got back from a a lovely Halloween meal at a friend's house (roast chicken, all the trimmings) to find that one of the cats had taken a dump in the bath.

 

Dirty little bastard.

 

[Negative Creep]

  Mr H Sceptre said:

Got back from a a lovely Halloween meal at a friend's house (roast chicken, all the trimmings) to find that one of the cats had taken a dump in the bath.

 

Dirty little bastard.

 

 

 

I bet he had that "yeah I did, and.............?" look on his face

[Mr H Sceptre]

  Negative Creep said:

  Mr H Sceptre said:

Got back from a a lovely Halloween meal at a friend's house (roast chicken, all the trimmings) to find that one of the cats had taken a dump in the bath.

 

Dirty little bastard.

 

 

 

I bet he had that "yeah I did, and.............?" look on his face

 

 

Not even that. Both of them were curled up asleep on my bed as if nothing had occured. Disinfecting the bath whilst pissed up on cheap red wine isn't my idea of fun!