The grumpy thread

[VWPowered]

  pbottomley said:

  mattblack said:

People who think that if a old car's seats are not cloth or velour, they're leather... NO YOU FUCKWIT, THEY'RE VINYL... MARINAS, HUNTERS, VIVAS ECT DIDN'T HAVE LEATHER SEATS!!!!

even better when they stick nose in car and say ahhh the semll of leather....no you twunt its farts and sweat

ummm nice *vomits*

[Rocket88]

In the past few weeks, my spleen venting has reached epic proportions.This month I are mainly hating...........1] Why is the mentally retarded dullard always in front of me at every shop checkout I seem to spend most of my waking hours in? And why do they inveriably have a shaven head, and multiple tatoos in foreign scripts adorning every avaiable space on thieir perma tanned torsos. And what is the fascination with minutely sculpted facial hair?2] Big arsed renault Meganes. Will someone expalin the point of nailing a baboons backside to the rear end of a rancid little hatchback?3] Call centres in deepest Christ-knows-where. Just sod off.4] All wether presenters on TV seem to have some strange physical feature, especially the codescending twat who does tea time BBC weather. He's obviously stolen someone elses head, as it wobbles about in an uncontrollable manner as he spouts patronsing drivel about "bits of rain"Nurse, the screens............................

[Mr Lobster]

Highways Agency. Is it beyond you to do anything about the bloody great lump that inhabits lane 1 (the 'slow' lane) on the M58 approaching the M6 / Orrell interchange just afterm Skem. Its like a fuggin launch ramp and I really don't need to make top-of-head-to-roof contact when I'm driving home. Sort it.Secondly. People driving without seatbelts. Why, what is the point? Is it to look cool? Yeh you'll look really cool when you've got a windscreen around your neck. And why is it so often people in hi-vis jackets / vests that don't bother with belts? Is it because you think you are in some way more important? You're not. And even less so when you are dead.

[Guest]

Hey morons! Stop parking in the "air" bay at the garage, there's important people who need to use the tyre inflator. You can park in all kinds of places, you're only getting some overpriced Ginsters pasties for your scummy kids, why are you even here? Can't you just get out of the way? Why not just dig a big trench and lie inside it, face-down?

[Mr Lobster]

Are the school holidays nearly over yet? Little tw@s seem to spend half their time bouncing balls of everyones car / hedge / pets and the rest literally screaming at each other This does not please me.

[ChinaTom]

windows updates. Bastards. Everything was fine before they "installed" themselves. Internet Explorer 8. Bastards. Thanks to what seemed to be a terabyte of windows updates I am clinging to the internet by less than 56bps.I'm too pissed off to even type at the moment - a whole day wasted trying to restore things to the way they were. This obviously means no more pirate BBC so for the love of GOD, please will someone post a picture of Young Dumb Dina. If I open the page in the morning, I'll be able to see it by tea-time.Microsoft Bastard.

[FredTransit]

  Mr Lobster said:

Are the school holidays nearly over yet? Little tw@s seem to spend half their time bouncing balls of everyones car / hedge / pets and the rest literally screaming at each other This does not please me.

Indeed. I am doing the country/world environment by not having kids.....

[Guest]

  ChinaTom said:

This obviously means no more pirate BBC so for the love of GOD, please will someone post a picture of Young Dumb Dina. If I open the page in the morning, I'll be able to see it by tea-time.

 

Dirty old git, she's like 12 or something.

[mattblack]

  Mr Lobster said:

People driving without seatbelts. Why, what is the point? Is it to look cool? Yeh you'll look really cool when you've got a windscreen around your neck. And why is it so often people in hi-vis jackets / vests that don't bother with belts? Is it because you think you are in some way more important? You're not. And even less so when you are dead.

And why people insist on putting their belt on when they're moving? Is it not easier to get in, put your belt on and then drive off? Same with the people who get in to a car in car park while using a mobile, and drive off while still on the phone... are they so important that they can't sit in the car for a minute while they finish the call?

 

And don't get me started on bloody kids...

[outlaw118]

Whose the (jailbait) girly??

[ChinaTom]

12? oops. Thought she was in her 20's! Last word on the subject then: she looks better on BBC3, probably enhanced by that mouth-breathing, salad dodging, butch as a fitter's dog, Nicky isn't it? The one with a face like a bulldog licking piss of a nettle. Euch!It's a phase - it will pass. Thanks anyway.

[Mr Lobster]

12 year olds never looked liked that when I was at school.Might have enjoyed it a bit more if they did

[Father Ted]

Stupid fucking eBay fucknuts who advertise cars then put **DO NOT BID THIS CAR IS SOLD*** - FFS, if you are capable of editing your advert you are capapble of "ending auction early".Wel, I have news for you Micra Twister seller, Im the high bidder and so if I win Im turning up with the readdies and expecting a car equal to or better than the obne described and woe betide you if there isnt one.....And dont get me started on stupid fucknuts who advertise cars with air and leather when they cearly have neither.

[Pillock]

  Hirst said:

Hey morons! Stop parking in the "air" bay at the garage, there's important people who need to use the tyre inflator. You can park in all kinds of places, you're only getting some overpriced Ginsters pasties for your scummy kids, why are you even here? Can't you just get out of the way? Why not just dig a big trench and lie inside it, face-down?

We get that at our Tesco Express*, the air bay is right next to the door so it's less distance for the fat cretinous lumps to drag themselves into the shop, and less distance to carry those oh-so-heavy sausage rolls and tenants super back to the car.So I park behind them and use the airline very..... slowly...... indeed. Go around all four tyres and check the pressure first. Then struggle to make 50p** in as little change as possible. Put some 5ps in first as it doesn't take them, and you can waste some time repeatedly trying. Then go around putting the air in - making sure to let some out of each tyre so you have to top all four up. Added bonus points for then rummaging in the boot to top up the spare. You're almost guaranteed by this point the fat cretinous lump is fuming at being blocked in, so why not top up the water in your screenwash whilst you're at it?I have once been tempted to let the airline go from full stretch and have the heavy metal end rattle down his bodywork but I resisted, that's a bit mean. I'll wait till they have the nerve to argue and just twat them in the face with it.* The worst named shop ever. Express? What's express about having to queue behind people with fuel cards who can't remember their registration number, or people who never remember to look which number pump they're at so you get the guessing game of "oooh, it's the red Skoda over there" "ok, £35.49 diesel" "no, that doesn't sound right". Similarly, when I'm buying petrol I don't want to queue behind people doing their weekly shop of Tesco Value rubbish. ** Fifty Pence? For Air? I can genuinely remember it being free everywhere, and suddenly it's fifty pee. Not ten first, then twenty, but BANG fifty. And the hoover, my local garage has a minimum amount of £1 to start the hoover, which gives you enough suck to do the gaiter around the gearlever and then cuts out. Cheaper to pay a prostitute to lick the carpets clean and claim it's a fetish.

[AnthonyG]

  Mr Lobster said:

Secondly. People driving without seatbelts. Why, what is the point? Is it to look cool? Yeh you'll look really cool when you've got a windscreen around your neck. And why is it so often people in hi-vis jackets / vests that don't bother with belts? Is it because you think you are in some way more important? You're not. And even less so when you are dead.

This happens a lot in Brum. Almost exclusively black and asian guys in BMWs and Audis over 5 years old. They also sit slumped in a very strange way. I can only assume they are copying rap videos where the artist of their choice drives his Bentley/riced up Civic/64 Impala down a boulevard in LA yapping about his 'bitches'.

[Volksy]

  AnthonyG said:

This happens a lot in Brum. Almost exclusively black and asian guys in BMWs and Audis over 5 years old. They also sit slumped in a very strange way. I can only assume they are copying rap videos where the artist of their choice drives his Bentley/riced up Civic/64 Impala down a boulevard in LA yapping about his 'bitches'.

Apparently the reason behind this daft seating position is to hide your head behind the 'B' pillar to offer some protection from headshots when rival gangs/dealers are shooting at you.Quite why a chap who works in Tescos/call centres need to do that is beyond me...

[RedSparrow]

  Volksy said:

Apparently the reason behind this daft seating position is to hide your head behind the 'B' pillar to offer some protection from headshots when rival gangs/dealers are shooting at you.Quite why a chap who works in Tescos/call centres need to do that is beyond me...

Oh I don't know. A mate of mine was shot with an air rifle by a kid off the estate when he was doing his job of collecting trolleys in Tescos car park. Mean streets out there bruv.

[trigger]

I agree, i got shot in the arse once by a air pistol whist riding my BMX Burner.

[Guest]

  ChinaTom said:

12? oops.

To be honest, I have no idea how old she is. I would suggest NOT OLD ENOUGH, on the basis that most people on Autoshite are in their early 50s.

[FredTransit]

Not me! I was 47 yesterday.....

[Mr Lobster]

  Pillock said:

Tesco Express

And why do people park on the pumps just to go and buy a loaf of bread. Park in the spaces you cretins. I don't want to have to needlessly queue for petrol just because you need to buy your months shopping. Morons.

[dollywobbler]

The A303. Just turn it into a dual carriageway and stop worrying about some old rocks in a field! It's a horrible, horrible road and I spent far too much of the last weekend sitting stationary upon it.Impatient motorists. Just accept that old cars may not leap off immediately when flashed to go in front of you. Some of us are battling synchromesh-free gears and they don't like to be rushed!Similarly, realise that older cars will not necessarily leap into the tiniest of gaps on a roundabout so make sure I'm gone before you try accelerating!

[Pete-M]

  Hirst said:

  ChinaTom said:

12? oops.

To be honest, I have no idea how old she is. I would suggest NOT OLD ENOUGH, on the basis that most people on Autoshite are in their early 50s.

I checked it out, she's 17, and therefore liable for violation

[outlaw118]

17? that's ok then.OI HIRST!!! Cheeky bugger, I'm 39....(but i do look late 40's, I've had a hard life...)

[Mr H Sceptre]

  outlaw118 said:

17? that's ok then.OI HIRST!!! Cheeky bugger, I'm 39....(but i do look late 40's, I've had a hard life...)

Yeah Hirst, Im 37. Just had a tough paperound....

[Pete-M]

I'm 38..

[Guest]

  dollywobbler said:

Impatient motorists. Just accept that old cars may not leap off immediately when flashed to go in front of you. Some of us are battling synchromesh-free gears and they don't like to be rushed!

I have a different situation entirely - the Charmant seems ridiculously quick to 30 even if you don't try, so I leave people behind at the lights and they get annoyed (for God knows what reason).Funniest situation I ever had was on a two lane 30mph ringroad, broken up by fairly frequent traffic lights. There was a MK4 Golf in full drug-dealer spec in the other lane (black paintwork, big wheels, tints) and I kept leaving it behind at the lights just by driving normally, so he kept accelerating harder from a stop to "beat" me. However, he didn't seem to realise that a big reason I was outpacing him was down to that I kept the car rolling all the time, whereas he was flooring it and having to come to a complete stop at each lights. Eventually we got onto a single lane bit and he did a dangerous overtake, nearly hitting a traffic island. Amused the hell out of me that he was annoyed enough to do that - get a life man.

[dollywobbler]

The pettiness of other motorists is hilarious. A 2CV seems like a red rag to a bull. On the A43 on the way back from Zummerzet, I was barrelling into roundabouts in the right-hand lane, keeping my momentum up and after every roundabout, the same cars would come blasting past me, then they'd choose badly regarding lanes at the next junction, so I'd get them again...In the real world, a narrow car with good handling can get around roundabouts with surprising speed!

[Volksy]

Most drivers don't seem to have any forethought when driving, maybe they are too busy picking noses, yabbering on the phone, munching pies etc. to actually look ahead. You can guarantee the in most instances i'm already brakeing/reducing speed before the car three in front realises there is a red light/hazard/errant child in front of them.AlsoWhats this with teenage chav mums shoving the pushchair out into traffic/onto the crossing, I mean little Brittney/Chardonnay/Paris is the reason they got their Flat/benefits/bi weekly lambrini/Maccy D's tokens, you whould think they would take better care of them!!

[RedSparrow]

  Pete-M said:

  Hirst said:

  ChinaTom said:

12? oops.

To be honest, I have no idea how old she is. I would suggest NOT OLD ENOUGH, on the basis that most people on Autoshite are in their early 50s.

I checked it out, she's 17, and therefore liable for violation

I know a song about people like you lot:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUiz5SZTSbk