The grumpy thread

[The Moog]

Erm did I get the housing crisis thread canned?

 

Apologies if so... I can't find it now but haven't had a PM saying I've said owt wrong...

Yep - stopped answering the question and became a debate about whether east Europeans came over here to fleece the system.

[robinmasters]

Ever had a dog that unfailingly tries to shag your leg? My friend's Saluki does this to me every time I visit. Behaves perfectly with everyone else but, as soon as I show up, it's feckin' party time.

 

It's an obvious comment, and I mean no offence, but perhaps you smell like a bitch?

[Tadhg Tiogar]

It's an obvious comment, and I mean no offence, but perhaps you smell like a bitch?

I'm not aware of the smell of a bitch, but you may have a point there. Either that or it might be the smell of horse, which I'm definitely aware of, as I'm always with horses at the weekend.

 

Wonder what phemerones I'm giving off....

[johngarty]

Ever had a dog that unfailingly tries to shag your leg? My friend's Saluki does this to me every time I visit. Behaves perfectly with everyone else but, as soon as I show up, it's feckin' party time.

 

The mutt could have at least bought you dinner first.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

The mutt could have at least bought you dinner first.

[meggersdog]

Called into my local shop this morning.Not something I normally do as there are two schools in the village (junior and secondary) so the place is often rammed.Anyway, got the milk and went to the counter.There's some bloke trying to pay with his phone on the contact-less machine only it's not happening.I was there a good five minutes while he's fucking about with his phone.Another assistant spotted me looking daggers at the twat so came to the counter and served me on the other till."he'll still be here when I come home from work" says I loud enough.

Now phone twat is obviously taking his five year old ? daughter to school.As I leave the shop his daughter follows me out whilst he's obliviously tapping away at his phone.In the car park I turned around and told this little girl her dad is still in the shop.For fucks sake man, you didn't have a clue your little girl has followed a complete stranger out of the shop.Anything could have happened.

Smart phones make people dumber not smarter.

[Aston Martin]

I broke a molar ages ago, so I eventually went to the dentist who removed it. I get home and day or two later... awesome, still a piece of molar left in my gum.

4 weeks later they remove that bit and I’m golden. Except, my jaw has been killing me for weeks, I can’t put my bottom teeth in front of my front teeth and move it right without dying of agony. I can hear something when I move my jaw. I don’t know if it needs popping back in, or if it’s fractured or what.

In unrelated news, if it’s fractured can I sue the bastards? It’s the same side where the molar was.

I went to the dentist receptionist. “we removed your tooth in January” oh, my mistake my jaw isn’t hurting.

 

“Go to your gp, who might tell you to go to dentist... I’ve got no one, so in that case you’ll have to go into town.”

 

Go to gp receptionist.... “you’ve shit out, go to our other medical Center for an appointment at 11:10am at the other side of town.

 

 

If the gp sends me back to dentist I will murder everyone.

 

See you at 11:30.

[Bren]

Passat in garage due to spongy pedal due to having bleed nipples that look like the pogues frontman's teeth. Just waiting for the telephone call.

[Talbot]

but perhaps you smell like a bitch?

 

/obvious reference

[Des]

Wife did this twice on her 500. In her defence you had to stand on your head to even find the jacking points.

 

Squish the other two jacking points and fool everyone into thinking you've been to Kwikfit.

[SierraMikeHotel]

The burglar alarm keeps going off on my office building. It's been an hour now. I'm seriously considering having a tantrum and going home.

[Talbot]

Just use a hammer directly on the sounder of the alarm. Repeat until silence.

 

If it works for a BX parked in the middle of london, it can work for you too..

[SierraMikeHotel]

Tempting! It's been two hours now... No eta from the alarm company.

[Slartibartfast]

Does anyone have any opinions or advice on whether the damage to the sill from my inept jacking is anything other than cosmetic, and how viable getting it repaired is?

 

Original post here http://autoshite.com/topic/30113-grumpy-old-man-thread/page-2451?p=1456356&do=findComment&comment=1456356

[Slartibartfast]

ETA - I bet you used to get some stick when Gladiators was still on TV

 

Oh I own it. It's quite handy, when giving my name out over the phone I say "Wolf, like the gladiator". You'd be surprised how many people otherwise manage to fuck up the spelling of Wolf. Never got stick for it at school, there were so many other things to tease me about. The favourite was that my initials are WC, so I was Water Closet all the way through primary school.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Your surname isn't 'crusher' is it?

[Tadhg Tiogar]

......You'd be surprised how many people otherwise manage to fuck up the spelling of Wolf. ...

 

Is that what was printed on your birth certificate, or was it something equally Germanic like Wolfgang?

 

Next you'll be telling us that you do have a middle name, and that it's Amadeus.

[Slartibartfast]

Is that what was printed on your birth certificate, or was it something equally Germanic like Wolfgang?

Nope. Wolf [PretentiousFrenchMiddleName] [PretentiousDouble-Barreled] [DoubleWordSurname]. My parents knew how to give me a good start in life.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Nope. Wolf [PretentiousFrenchMiddleName] [PretentiousDouble-Barreled] [DoubleWordSurname]. My parents knew how to give me a good start in life.

 

Ah.

 

My condolences.

[loserone]

Nope. Wolf [PretentiousFrenchMiddleName] [PretentiousDouble-Barreled] [DoubleWordSurname]. My parents knew how to give me a good start in life.

/me Hi-fives your parents

[Slartibartfast]

My parents always said I'd never grow up to become an accountant with a name like that.

 

So I grew up to become a computer programmer. That showed them.

[Talbot]

Nope. Wolf [PretentiousFrenchMiddleName] [PretentiousDouble-Barreled] [DoubleWordSurname]. My parents knew how to give me a good start in life.

Was it either that or "Sue"?

[chaseracer]

Similar issues here.

 

I am known by my second given name, not my first.  You would think, would you not, in these enlightened* times, that modern information systems would be able to cope with this not unusual situation...

 

silently inside>

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Was it either that or "Sue"?

 

I see what you did there.

[Aston Martin]

See you at 11:30.

 

“Why didn’t you go to dentist?”

“January and it hurts more now?”

“Take ibuprofen and see what happens”

 

Currently heading to the nearest river to drown myself.

[Talbot]

I see what you did there.

Stevie Wonder can see what I did there...

[myglaren]

Nope. Wolf [PretentiousFrenchMiddleName] [PretentiousDouble-Barreled] [DoubleWordSurname]. My parents knew how to give me a good start in life.

Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle O'Malley Armstrong

 

Any relation?

 

[Slartibartfast]

Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle O'Malley Armstrong

 

Any relation?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvYarluqINA

She's my sister as it happens.

 

Edit: I'm lying

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Fido.

 

A voice that sounds so weak, yet blaring like a foghorn. Thank fuck she's disappeared from earshot.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Fido.

 

A voice that sounds so weak, yet blaring like a foghorn. Thank fuck she's disappeared from earshot.

 

I thought she was the woman running TalkTalk.