The grumpy thread

[purplebargeken]

I nearly spat my breakfast cereal over the keyboard. Thanks for that ^^

[Clanger]

She fell over and bent him. Lovely bruise this morning.

Mate, bent cock aside, at least you're getting your beans, and that's got to be worth something.

 

Just go with the flow and enjoy yourself, it can all come to a crashing halt without a satisfactory explanation, so don't be shy, get all your dirty little fantasies out in the open while you've got a warm, soft landing spot...

 

Just my two pennyworth. Either way, have fun, and remember, pictures or it didn't happen...

[michael1703]

Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman.

 

It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir...gently, and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.

 

[mercrocker]

Been there before. Stripey cock. It will heal and be less tender. Be sure your instincts will kick in again once all is well.

 

You will just have to wear your 15 stone earmuffs for a couple of days. Then proceed to hammer from behind so you have more control over mr wiggles.

 

Or hammer a bigger one over it.....

[Pillock]

Actually, any shagging where there's the risk of "falling over" sounds like you were going for it properly so well done!

[jakebullet]

Argh, work grump now. Looks like the post office have lost my sack of mail from the 2nd. The number of ebay bastards being exceptionally nasty that their 4 valve caps (value £1.95) haven't arrived is unreal. Already got one negative from a tool that wants an argos catalogue in the post.

[Parky]

Perhaps Mrs Bullet could dish out some punishment, she seems pretty good at it!

[Tetleysmooth]

This country is bolloxed.

 

In all departments.

 

That's all I have to say.

 

Thank you.

[Parky]

Have you been trying to drive a massive truck around East London again?

[Tetleysmooth]

Have you been trying to drive a massive truck around East London again?

 

4 nights out of 4 last week.

Finished my week taking an artic into Covent Garden and Farringdon Road on Friday night.

Effing chaotic.

[chaseracer]

So... what you're acksherley saying is: THAT LONDON and parts of other surrounding counties are bolloxed.

[purplebargeken]

There is an irish border/customs show on TV at the moment.

 

There is one bloke on there who does stops and searches. He is one irritating bastard, he keeps checking out the camera, goes off on authoritarian waffles and is seemingly unable to pronounce the word 'please' correctly. Out of his stupid gob it comes out as 'plise'. Fucking irritating. 

[Bren]

Got outbid on a Chrysler 180.

 

A majorette one. Sold for £3.07. Arses.

[Tetleysmooth]

So... what you're acksherley saying is: THAT LONDON and parts of other surrounding counties are bolloxed.

 

I told Mrs Tet today that if I had my way, I'd go to live somewhere like Shetland when I retire.

 

I'll never get my way, of course.

[chaseracer]

^ We should set up an Autoshite commune, off the main islands so we don't have to worry about pointless shit like tax and MOTs.  The chod will dissolve rapidly in the constant salty breeze - visibly, like as not - so we'd have to do supply runs to keep up stocks of rammel along with the beer and Jaffa Cakes.

 

Sealtainn?  Start looking, would you please?

 

[Pillock]

No, we should keep the MOT. Just to please Junkman.

[purplebargeken]

http://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/35102459?search_identifier=cd4a8390569f40910dcae034b82b0758#dUV7oMjXtfJawbjI.97

 

God it looks grim though. At least it has a garage

[hairnet]

EEK

[Cavcraft]

Retirement can't come soon enough for me, all things being well I'll be leaving full time work in five years, four months and fourteen days. If I had the money (and I won't) we'll be off to Cromer to live.

[bub2006]

Started need toilet a lot lately. Always bloody pissing. Like a tap and it's getting annoying

[Craig the Princess]

^^ Get down the docs, likely time for a prostate time.

 

My grump:

Just seen a tv advert for Chris Moyles X Radio show. Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt etc

[Timewaster]

Started need toilet a lot lately. Always bloody pissing. Like a tap and it's getting annoying

I sincerely hope that was a bad choice of words and your piss, however frequent is not bloody.

If it is.... docs ASAP.

[chaseracer]

Started need toilet a lot lately. Always bloody pissing. Like a tap and it's getting annoying

 

I can relate.  Maybe just* a UTI but Craig's right - get it checked by the quack.

[Station]

I do the same, always going to the toilet, I have done for years. I swear I drink about 7 litres of fluid ( alot), yet I'm pissing out about 20 gallons.

[bub2006]

No not bloody,just pissing a lot. Sorry folks,bad word choice

[bub2006]

^^ Get down the docs, likely time for a prostate time.

 

My grump:

Just seen a tv advert for Chris Moyles X Radio show. Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt etc

Last time doc had a finger up my arse after a bike accident I had nurses laughing by asking if that was all and do i get his number. I was on morphine though so that's my excuse

[barmatt]

Started need toilet a lot lately. Always bloody pissing. Like a tap and it's getting annoying

it can be one of the first symptoms of diabetes, get to the docs and get checked.

[bub2006]

I think I will. Been 9 times today. Not good.

[Angrydicky]

Shetland, ugh no, far too cold. The Isle of Wight is reasonably close to civilisation, and the climate means it's rammed with old cars. I'll go to live there when I retire, please!

[Tetleysmooth]

^^ Get down the docs, likely time for a prostate time.

 

My grump:

Just seen a tv advert for Chris Moyles X Radio show. Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt etc

 

Not a fan then?