The grumpy thread

[Noel Tidybeard]

I may have taken SWMBOs car keys with me to Newcastle today. Oh, I have a spare. It's on my house keys, also in my pocket.

 

Now home awaiting creation of a new faecal matter outlet by the method of tearing.

 

This week i are mostly standing when i drive a bus

[rml2345]

I used to work with the elderly in an emi nursing home, a lot of the residents had dementia or alzheimers, it was a sad thing to see families coming to see their loved ones who didn't recognise them

Both illnesses are utter utter bastards of the highest order. My gran is rapidly disappearing due to dementia and has already started to forget family members. It's horrible to watch but you still go round to visit for the brief moments where you see the person you grew up with and loved.

[AlabamaShrimp]

After being messed about by the garage I always use a couple of weeks ago with the Frontera test we* decided to take the Fiesta ST to a place my sister in law uses for its test.

 

It's blowing like a git from its exhaust (dues to holes in the back box and me pushing the centre section out of place) told the bloke when I took it this morning he just wasn't interested. Sorry it's my car, I drive it, maybe you might like to know what's wrong with it?

 

Anyway left it there but my wife thought she'd ring him to say the passenger seat won't tip forward but don't worry (and don't mess as the handles break very easily) he was a bit off with her said "it'll be the cable". "no its something inside, I've had them break before and it's not the same" he was silent then just laughed but said bye. "don't be a know it all" was her comment when the phone as down.

 

WWon't be taking it there again........

[J-Rod]

My neighbour. 

 

Have spoken to him a few times (I live in one of those places where everyone is transitory) and he seems oddly fearful. Stange really, I'm about the farthest thing you can get from a tattooed bechained hulk with a Staffie. Anyway, what I'm saying is he's a bit timid but doesn't seem like a bad sort. 

 

Unfortunately, he drives a succession of Audis and I had this misfortune to be stuck in front of his latest one this morning while he tailgated me all the way to where I needed to go. 

 

What is WITH these cars?! 

[Aston Martin]

I have 3 theory tests on Thursday. I have my LGV theory, Hazard Perception and then my CPC theory.

 

 

The main theory, I should be ok. I'm getting 90%+ every time on mock tests, Hazard Perception... hmmm, for instance: I see the cyclist, so I click, I click again when he is clearly visible and I failed. They want me to click after i've driven over him. Surely the hazard is when I see him? Another one involves going through a narrow bridge, they want you to click on the 3rd oncoming car. Not the first 2 cars, which are also a fucking hazard.

 

 

 

CPC theory is the worst, most of the time it's pick the 'eco, save the children' option. But, I hate the questions, they seem pointless and inane... and I rarely get 80%, it's more like 60%  The last case file was setting up an LLC.

[Negative Creep]

Mk.3 Astra that used to park in my street it now in a bus stop a mile away with only 3 wheels. Not sure if it was stolen or broke down, but shame because it looked rather tidy

 

Also twice in the last few days I've witnessed dickhead bikers nearly being wiped out because they're treating the road as their own personal racetrack. Both times a car in front has been changing lanes when said twat blats up the inside doing what must be double the speed limit and cuts right across the car, closely followed by two of their mates. Still, at least I'll be ok if I ever need an organ.

[greengartside]

I'm still in a quandry about THAT FIesta I had my eye on (then SWMBO wasn't keen on...)

 

It didn't sell - the auction ended earlier - and it didn't make it's reserve price either.

 

Do I email them again or leave it? I really would like it but the seller is a bit unhelpful/unrealistic.

 

Meh.

[Negative Creep]

And now some dozy woman has driven in the back of me! Luckily only a few mph so seems to have just scuffed the bumper.

[UmBongo]

And now some dozy woman has driven in the back of me! Luckily only a few mph so seems to have just scuffed the bumper.

 

She was probably applying lipstick, browsing facebook and chewing her nails at the time.

[Eddie Honda]

The main theory, I should be ok. I'm getting 90%+ every time on mock tests, Hazard Perception... hmmm, for instance: I see the cyclist, so I click, I click again when he is clearly visible and I failed. They want me to click after i've driven over him. Surely the hazard is when I see him? Another one involves going through a narrow bridge, they want you to click on the 3rd oncoming car. Not the first 2 cars, which are also a fucking hazard.

 

They don't want you to click on a hazard. They want you to click on a developing hazard. It's a small point, but an important one if you want to win the game. (Aye, it's an unrealistic game, but knowing how the game works and understanding the rules might help you to pass it)

 

Anyway good luck.

[chaseracer]

And fuck any motorcyclists that use that route for the next few weeks

 

 

Did the 'AS irony' implied by the asterisk escape you?

 

I once rolled on half the number of wheels I do now.  If the car was dropping anything significant, there is NO WAY it would be driven anywhere.

[Aston Martin]

They don't want you to click on a hazard. They want you to click on a developing hazard. It's a small point, but an important one if you want to win the game. (Aye, it's an unrealistic game, but knowing how the game works and understanding the rules might help you to pass it)

 

Anyway good luck.

 

Thanks, there was a 'driving instructor' who phones up Radio 4 last week, he said when you see the hazard, wait 3 seconds and then click. It works, most of the time.

 

 

CPC theory: 

 

 

You also have an interest in public relations and brand image, and you would like to know more about how haulage services are marketed.

 

I love questions about how good PR is great for everybody. I haven't had a question about ratchet straps...

[Mr_Bo11ox]

When is a 'developing hazard' not a hazard?

[Eddie Honda]

Mr_Bo11ox: that's always.

 

The real question is: When is a "hazard" not a "developing" hazard.

 

What happens with drivers that already have their licence for another category is that they shoot their bolt and click too early and miss the opening of 5-4-3-2-1 point window. 3 seconds is probably too long, but it depends on how fast you are at counting. Count to two. But if you see a cyclist way ahead in the distance on the video clip, don't click. The cyclist is merely a hazard, which isn't what they are testing you on. Now if the numpty moves out from the kerb or starts wobbling, well it's developing then. It's easier to explain watching these clips, but they don't for obviously reasons do a whole compilation of them.

 

When the question bank was published in full, it was a piece of cake to learn all 1100-odd questions. I'd say it's only around 300 asked four different ways. "Which one of these is NOT" and all that.

[Aston Martin]

Hazard perception i've nailed, you need to think how they want you to think.

 

CPC Module 2, is driving me up the fucking wall. "What year was the Welfare of animals transport order introduced? 2008, 2007, 1998, 1997?"

 

"What should Bob have for breakfast? Muesli, nothing, bacon, toast? Pick two best options"

 

Theres alot of "Who should you contact should you require X, how many days can you drive without X, what is the longest period of time you can go before you tell X."

 

"You are transporting non-dangerous goods through the EU and Switzerland and have an accident, what paperwork do you need?"

[Negative Creep]

She was probably applying lipstick, browsing facebook and chewing her nails at the time.

 

 

Happened to glance in my rear view mirror just before impact - from the looks of it she was playing with the radio. Bumper has been pushed in slightly and paint is scuffed but nothing seems to be broken. Probably not worth going through insurance but the fact she didn't care in the slightest she'd hit me is tempting me to put a claim in

 

[andy18s]

Get it looked at.those bumpers can hide a fair bit of damage behind them

[Negative Creep]

From my understanding I can insist that the car is repaired even if they want to write it off?

[tooSavvy]

CL@IM the hissy kunt 2 death

 

 

TS

[chaseracer]

From my understanding I can insist that the car is repaired even if they want to write it off?

 

Hell, yes.  You're entitled to have your car returned to pre-accident condition, or equivalent compensation.

 

Should be interesting if any of my heaps get mullered...

[chaseracer]

Also, how's that whiplash*?

 

[Bobthebeard]

Our 2003 Honda Accord was declared as Cat D after just such an incident recently. Low speed rear shunt denting the bumper etc. The other party insurance paid out £1800 minus £400 salvage. No whiplash happened or was claimed for. I iz honest.

[Cavcraft]

Yodel: absolute fucking wankers.

[Bobthebeard]

Yodel: absolute fucking wankers.

Yes.... Totally agree. One parcel was left in my wheely bin. With a note saying so... Luckily I got home before the refuse collection.

[Eddie Honda]

CPC Module 2, is driving me up the fucking wall. "What year was the Welfare of animals transport order introduced? 2008, 2007, 1998, 1997?"

 

"What should Bob have for breakfast? Muesli, nothing, bacon, toast? Pick two best options"

 

Theres alot of "Who should you contact should you require X, how many days can you drive without X, what is the longest period of time you can go before you tell X."

 

"You are transporting non-dangerous goods through the EU and Switzerland and have an accident, what paperwork do you need?"

TF i never had to do that. Ongoing CPC is the biggest crock o' shite going.

 

1) Couldn't give a toss as I only drive reefers.

2) Bob should have a fooking good fry up and a mug of tea (with two and a coo). Failing that, bacon on toast.

3a) pass the buck to the tranport manager. 3b) depends on how many digicards you have 3c) 6 weeks, or until stopped by the DVSA for a contribution to their Christmas night out.

4) Wouldn't be going that far. I don't do nights out.

 

As you can see, two irrelvant questions that are overly specialist and a big load of nanny state nonsense telling me what to eat.

[Eddie Honda]

Yodel. Cockmunchers who pretended to deliver twice to an address and never fucking did. 13 weeks later I found the sender had received them back.

 

I'm sure they have the odd "lifestyle"* courier that does a decent job, but I've never actually met one.

[Negative Creep]

Also, how's that whiplash*?

 

 

 

Actually had a slight neck pain (and I mean very slight for a few hours). OMG I FINK I SHUD GET SUM COMPENSASHUN 4 THE TRUMER

[xtriple]

While I was looking at the Bentley, an old bloke came to collect his Rolls Royce Silver Spirit from its service and MOT. The chap I was dealing with (the son of the owner) asked to be excused as he wanted to do the handover as there was a 'sizeable bill' to pay...

 

About ten minutes later I went in to take the trade plates back and just caught the tail end of the process as the old lad was writing out the cheque... £7811 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Fuck me sideways!

[anonymous user]

 

 

About ten minutes later I went in to take the trade plates back and just caught the tail end of the process as the old lad was writing out the cheque... £7811 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Many, many years ago, when BL were still alive, I worked in the warranty department of a BL distributor so got to see the whole range of cars (and their problems) first hand. One day in the service department a chap getting was very agitated regarding a rather large bill for work on his car. He did reluctantly settle the bill by cheque. A while later it was noticed that he was still sat outside in his car and eventually someone went to check if he was alright, he wasn't, the poor bugger had popped his clogs, ambulance etc. called, but too late for him.

 

It is alleged that the MD of the garage got someone to rush up to the bank and pay his cheque in, so that it was in the system before the account got frozen.

[Aston Martin]

It is alleged that the MD of the garage got someone to rush up to the bank and pay his cheque in, so that it was in the system before the account got frozen.