The grumpy thread

[Milford Cubicle]

Autotrader's new TV advert."Autotraderland land has gotten busier" - "whatever you want, its here somewhere" - "nippy""child friendly""corners well"No, no, no. None of these are searchable fields on the autotrader website nor indexed in the weekly magazine!Lying bastards!

I like the listings on Auto Trader, they list stuff like 'headrests' and 'rear view mirror'

[Claypole]

Yep AutoTrader's doing a roaring trade with all those stolen V5's. Even getting on the BBC now showing how some punter got stiffed for 10K on a nicked Audi using their advert.

[Tayne]

.

[warren t claim]

There's nothing wrong with having a Prince Albert Mr Tayne!

[Tayne]

.

[warren t claim]

Or gay!

[Minimad5]

To me it sounds like being trapped in a lift with Purple Aki...

Haha, The Legend Of Purple Aki !Thats made my night :)and on that note it's time to sleep !"HELLO BOYS" and good night autoshiters

[whitevanman]

OK, I'll ask the question ....WHY ??generally hidden from view.......not for display purposes then.Painfull in its execution.....undoubtably.Aestheticaly pleasing...only to the limited amount of people that see it and like it.Stimulates your partner....OK for the first few years until things settle down.Gives me pleasure....only when your playing with yourself, and thats fun without it anyway.so in summary, it looks good to a few people, hurts when insereted and adds pleasure for a few years......why bother, just get pissed instead.....

[warren t claim]

To me it sounds like being trapped in a lift with Purple Aki...

Haha, The Legend Of Purple Aki !Thats made my night :)and on that note it's time to sleep !"HELLO BOYS" and good night autoshiters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt4ohG7Z ... re=relatedThe purple Aki song!

[Minimad5]

noo Warren !The cartoon adventures are alot better !Really sums up "the locals"

[warren t claim]

OK, I'll ask the question ....WHY ??generally hidden from view.......not for display purposes then.Painfull in its execution.....undoubtably.Aestheticaly pleasing...only to the limited amount of people that see it and like it.Stimulates your partner....OK for the first few years until things settle down.Gives me pleasure....only when your playing with yourself, and thats fun without it anyway.so in summary, it looks good to a few people, hurts when insereted and adds pleasure for a few years......why bother, just get pissed instead.....

It's a bit like owning a Ferrari....You get it to impress the women but more often than not men ask you about the pain of ownership!Imagine sex that is three times better than before...

[RedSparrow]

It's a bit like owning a Ferrari....

No comment

[whitevanman]

OK, I'll ask the question ....WHY ??generally hidden from view.......not for display purposes then.Painfull in its execution.....undoubtably.Aestheticaly pleasing...only to the limited amount of people that see it and like it.Stimulates your partner....OK for the first few years until things settle down.Gives me pleasure....only when your playing with yourself, and thats fun without it anyway.so in summary, it looks good to a few people, hurts when insereted and adds pleasure for a few years......why bother, just get pissed instead.....

It's a bit like owning a Ferrari....You get it to impress the women but more often than not men ask you about the pain of ownership!Imagine sex that is three times better than before...

thats what alcohol is for....you "think" its 3 times better......... do the women think its that good? or are they just lying as usual? sorry but I'll never understand the urge to inflict pain on your cock....its illogical Captain

[warren t claim]

The next Mrs Claim does prefer it when it is "fitted".

[whitevanman]

The next Mrs Claim does prefer it when it is "fitted".

Fair dues...can't argue with that .....

[warren t claim]

It only hurts when you hang a bar stool/frying pan/Astra alternator of it though!A wise man once said to me........it's better to have a bloke put a ring through your cock than to put your cock through a bloke's ring.....Wise words I'm sure you'll agree.

[Tayne]

.

[warren t claim]

No, just hold it a bit closer to the pan/sink/dishwasher.

[Father Ted]

No, just hold it a bit closer to the pan/sink/dishwasher.

I had this very argument with the wife once - its connected to a drain and I can put it on a rinse and hold afterwards ergo its no different than a sink and I can piss in it rather than go upstairs.

[whitevanman]

ensuite B&B = hand basin in the corner

[ashmicro]

No, just hold it a bit closer to the pan/sink/dishwasher.

I had this very argument with the wife once - its connected to a drain and I can put it on a rinse and hold afterwards ergo its no different than a sink and I can piss in it rather than go upstairs.

You are, of course, correct - my boxhead dishwasher gets up to near-thermonuclear temperature in operation, and I'd wager is a darned sight more hygenic than a bog.

 

However, that argument involves science and logic, and therefore would not be understood by a splitarse.

[retrogeezer]

Yep AutoTrader's doing a roaring trade with all those stolen V5's. Even getting on the BBC now showing how some punter got stiffed for 10K on a nicked Audi using their advert.

Just watching this now......can't believe the red Audi driver bought the car with that piece of paper vin number on the window and a sticker over the one under the bonnet!! What a numpty.Think the DVLA should have something to answer for though 'losing' V5's like that but I guess it's no surprise these days.

[dollywobbler]

Colds. Just go away! End.

[whitevanman]

Work....why is it I've had almost nowt to do since October and suddenly there is too much work sadly had to turn down work for £125 per day....WHY?Tax and NI =£65 for 2 daysFuel =£30Hotel =£55Living costa for 2 days =£30In total I'd clear approximately £35 a day for 12 hour shifts and 2 hours a day driving...........err !!!! NO FUCKING CHANCE

[Father Ted]

Now, I know I have mentioned this before, but

 

Virgin Cockmunching Twatting Media AGAIN.

 

So, no interweb or telly since last Thursday.

 

Engineer booked for Monday

Waited in - engineer never arrived.

Interweb and telly working again, so assumed fault was in the box on the street and bloke spannered it. Fired off a scathing email to Virgin again though stating that this was the (I jest ye not) 6th time this year where said box in street needed a bloody good kicking and that I was thinking of fucking off to Sky.

 

Phone call today from nice lady who apologised and said yes they were cockmunchers and would I like a months services for free and upgrade to 20 meg broadband.

 

Came home from Halifax (another story - Halifax seems full of twats who cant drive, or rather can drive but do so like they own the fucking road) and LO - fucking internet off again. So I phoned up, spoke to some spotty Herbert again who had the cheek to say if we weren't in when the engineer called they would charge us - well gentle reader I went slightly ape poo at this point. They are now trying to say that its our modem causing the fault - this would be Modem number four then.

CNUTS.

 

And dont fucking talk to me about 3 Moble broadband - sucks goats in Hull (possibly drives a Honda Jazz in Halifax too)

[boobydoo]

Women who moan about you leaving the lav seat up.Errr.. spend 0.0001 seconds putting it down then.(Apologies if this has been mentioned before.....couldn't be arsed wading thru 300 odd pages....)

[barrett]

Women who moan about you leaving the lav seat up.Errr.. spend 0.0001 seconds putting it down then.(Apologies if this has been mentioned before.....couldn't be arsed wading thru 300 odd pages....)

I never understood why they get priority.....I have to lift it up when I go, they have to put it down. If blokes started moaning about women leaving it down we'd get a right earful. Thank god i'm single!

[Louise2cv]

Oh oh, I'm not just saying it, but I totally agree!I don't understand how its worse for ladies if they find the seat left up than it is if guys find it down. Surely, in fact its more effort to lift it than put it down.We operate a "find it as it was left" system.

[Volksy]

If I was a bird, I'd prefere to find the seat up, as it probably means that if previously used by a fella, said bog seat wouldnt be covered in splash..

[Mr H Sceptre]

Oddly, I think I'm about the only bloke I know who hates the bog seat up. It really riles me. Part of the reason is that some time ago an ex GF was staying at mine looking after my cats & left the bog seat up. One of said cats fell into the bog and could have drowned. Luckily she was ok.