The grumpy thread

[shite_meister]

Whats a job ? Its so hard getting a job in my area its really ... well poopI have been for a few apprenticeship interviews and "NOPE" because the main mechanics always think i am bullshitting when they say "so what can you do ?"and i smile and in a nice manner say "To be honest it would be shorter if you asked what cant i do"

And thats why you're still looking, there are few things worse than an apprentice who thinks they know it all, an apprentice is there to learn, tidy up and be a general dogs body it may seem like a poor deal but in return you are handed knowledge and wisdom from someone with one of the most important things-experience.

[wuvvum]

Wow, I've thought for a long time that my job is a bit pants but the last three or four pages have made me think that perhaps it isn't so bad after all. The money isn't brilliant but it's adequate (or at least it would be if I didn't have this addiction to buying shite cars), I genuinely like the people I work with, my manager is a decent bloke and the work isn't too boring. The HR manager is an incompetent bimbo but she's 120 miles away, and the woman who deals with HR in our office is a top lass - she hates office politics and corporate bullshit as much as I do. In fact compared to some of y'all's situations my job almost deserves to be in the "what makes you grin" thread. Which is worrying.

[Minimad5]

and i smile and in a nice manner say "To be honest it would be shorter if you asked what cant i do" :)And they then look at me asif i have just took a dump on the face of his/her mother.

I'm not surprised, nobody likes a cocky little shit and that's exactly how you'll come across.The youth of today can't pull their trousers up, can't spell and either can't be arsed or have completely overestimated their own ability!*What are you, 17?Try and make it sound believable (regardless of your won experience).In future, you've done a fair bit of XXXX, a little of XXXX and you've been in the background when a few friends did XXXX.You can prove yourself later.*FYI, I was a cocky little shit when I was 17. Although spelling was good and trousers were at an appropriate height.

Woah Steady on!Nope i did not come across as cocky mr "Tayne"as me and the person interviewing myself had, had a rather nice and lenghty chat about future plans and so on.Infact i remember having a good laugh with the first guy and he said he liked how enthusiastic i was, and would love someone with such energy to be along side him as he worked.As for the spelling and trouser comments:I easily passed my English GCSE thank you, but dont feel the need for exact english to be used when swiftly typing on a friendly forum.This may save me afew seconds in time to move on to other things like finish off sketching "To Scale" designs for my design technology piece(Which i will be using a Bridgeport Series 2 Milling Lathe to produce. Which when i last checked not any chav twonk of a 17 year old could use)As for the trousers, sorry sir but you got me all wrongOoh and age 18 to be exactbut as i have been told "18 going on 80"so sorry if my typing in the dark or just typing fast missed out a letter or doesn't conform to your standardsI did not wish to cause offence.(you may find one or two gramatical errors and no doubt spelling errors too again i appologise)Is it okay if we get back to nice and friendly now ?

[brammy777]

I have pulled a hamstring and can walk, although its pretty difficult when stairs show up, considering I live in a flat Ive done pretty well there.But limping annoys me. 'OH look at him, incapable of walking' Fuck offffff, its because I did so much I now cant.Oh and I also have pulled some muscles in my upper body, coupled with a tickley throat equals painful coughing. And laughing.

[Guest]

and i smile and in a nice manner say "To be honest it would be shorter if you asked what cant i do" :)And they then look at me asif i have just took a dump on the face of his/her mother.

I'm not surprised, nobody likes a cocky little shit and that's exactly how you'll come across.The youth of today can't pull their trousers up, can't spell and either can't be arsed or have completely overestimated their own ability!*What are you, 17?Try and make it sound believable (regardless of your won experience).In future, you've done a fair bit of XXXX, a little of XXXX and you've been in the background when a few friends did XXXX.You can prove yourself later.*FYI, I was a cocky little shit when I was 17. Although spelling was good and trousers were at an appropriate height.

Woah Steady on!Nope i did not come across as cocky mr "Tayne"as me and the person interviewing myself had, had a rather nice and lenghty chat about future plans and so on.Infact i remember having a good laugh with the first guy and he said he liked how enthusiastic i was, and would love someone with such energy to be along side him as he worked.As for the spelling and trouser comments:I easily passed my English GCSE thank you, but dont feel the need for exact english to be used when swiftly typing on a friendly forum.This may save me afew seconds in time to move on to other things like finish off sketching "To Scale" designs for my design technology piece(Which i will be using a Bridgeport Series 2 Milling Lathe to produce. Which when i last checked not any chav twonk of a 17 year old could use)As for the trousers, sorry sir but you got me all wrongOoh and age 18 to be exactbut as i have been told "18 going on 80"so sorry if my typing in the dark or just typing fast missed out a letter or doesn't conform to your standardsI did not wish to cause offence.(you may find one or two gramatical errors and no doubt spelling errors too again i appologise)Is it okay if we get back to nice and friendly now ?

Minimad, sorry if this comes across as off, but if a 17\18 year old lad (regardless of how capable they actually were) said to me 'you're better off asking me what I can't do' in my chosen industry, I'd think the same as Tayne. There's a hierarchy in work, whether you like it or not. The person interviewing \ managing you can be as thick as pigshit (more often than not) but if they're the ones deciding whether you get the job, you have to play the game a bit. By that I don't mean be an obsequious turd, work them out and then see if they're up for banter.I'm not saying for a second you don't know your stuff, but you're not going to get anywhere shouting your mouth off like that.Sack it, there's far wiser people on here than me, and I'm an outspoken wanker at the best of times.

[Minimad5]

And thats why you're still looking, there are few things worse than an apprentice who thinks they know it all, an apprentice is there to learn, tidy up and be a general dogs body it may seem like a poor deal but in return you are handed knowledge and wisdom from someone with one of the most important things-experience.

No i totally understand what everyone is thinking about the whole "cocky" and "know it all" stuff,But really if you were there you would of understood and known that the mood and atmosphere was not serious, but more fun, joking and very relaxed.And i know exactly what you mean (if i read it in that way)I just wish you could of met the guy as he was super chuffed we got on so well.(He said i reminded him of himself when he was my age)I have kept a record of all work i have carried out (Which i have to update !) to atleast show on paper what i can do.And explained that i would happily work 2 to 3 weeks unpaid just to be a mechanic as its what i sadly aim for in life.And the reason i never got the first post is because the company claimed bankrupsyHope that sheds some light on it now And stops the thought of "Mark is a cocky little shit"Really makes me feel horrible as i have worked so hardJust for people to kick me down when maybe its meant in a different way or they dont quite understand the situation

[brammy777]

I can spell! And keep my trousers up, and can be arsed when it comes to work, and I dont rate myself so........To be fair though, interviews can be won or lost in the first few minutes. No matter how well you may be able to do, if that smarmy prick who is asking all the questions has already made their mind up, its game over.That probably doesnt apply to any of you lot though, its just I still have sour grapes over that complete (insert word of choice) who interviewed me last year for a job at BMW. Glad I didnt get it now anyway. But for anyone who can, grab all the chances you get in education while you still can. If you quit college and then cant get anything for ages, that black hole in your life can put off alot of would be employers.

[Minimad5]

I can spell! And keep my trousers up, and can be arsed when it comes to work, and I dont rate myself so........To be fair though, interviews can be won or lost in the first few minutes.

brammy should we request a sticky for teenagers who can keep there pants up ?rather poop joke aside,I know what you mean about the interviews being lost or won in afew minutes as the seconds guy who interviewed me said he didn't like my eyebrowsNow i'm sorry but i was not aware of having to have nice eyebrows for a job.I kept a smile on my face and continued though.Good luck with college by the way brammyLets hope atleast one or two people of our age can stop the elderly thought of "All teenagers are monsters"

[Guest]

I can spell! And keep my trousers up, and can be arsed when it comes to work, and I dont rate myself so........

To be fair though, interviews can be won or lost in the first few minutes.

the seconds guy who interviewed me said he didn't like my eyebrows

Now i'm sorry but i was not aware of having to have nice eyebrows for a job.

I kept a smile on my face and continued though.

That is the most ridiculous rejection I've heard in a while.

 

I thought my internal application at work was good. This was for web content work, which is computer based, naturally.

 

It went something like:

 

Prat: 'Sorry Jon, you didn't get the job.'

Me: 'Did I do badly on the exam?'

Prat: 'No, in fact you scored 100%. That was the highest mark recorded out of all the people who applied.'

Me: 'Did I not do well in the interview?'

Prat: 'We were more than happy with your responses, you conducted yourself well.'

Me: Well what did I do wrong then?

 

Prat: 'Well I didn't like your handwriting, and it wasn't neat enough.'

 

FOR A WEB CONTENT JOB. ON A COMPUTER SCREEN. IN A PAPERLESS OFFICE.

[Minimad5]

Crazy stuff watanabe.It's what happens when people with abit too much authority are in charge.Or who are too high on there own horse to understand other people and even just accept not everything is perfect.Mad world 'ey ?

[Tayne]

.

[barrett]

But for anyone who can, grab all the chances you get in education while you still can. If you quit college and then cant get anything for ages, that black hole in your life can put off alot of would be employers.

Agreed! Quitting college before the end* was the stupidest thing i've ever done (and i've done my fair share of stupid things - drinking lighter fluid anyone?), it's basically screwed up any chance i had of getting a job thats anything other than menial, and i can't go to uni unless i do an extra year of courses (not that i want to, but it'd be nice to have the option). also i've only had this one crappy job since i was at school, so my Cv is non-existant, so despite being a reasonably intelligent chap i am probably less employable then your average 16 year old chav with 1 GCSE...... and might i also add 'dont do drugs', getting high every day between lessons is fun but not exactly condusive to the learning experience *sigh**I didn't actually quit per se, i just didn't bother going to my exams. what a twat!

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

As above.

 

I squandered every opportunity I ever had. Many people told me I'd regret not sticking with school. Unfortunately I thought I was King Shit of Fuck Mountain and didn't need exams to excel. In the end I left school at 16 with a mish-mash of disappointing GCSE grades.

 

Imagine my genuine surprise upon discovering no-one wants to employ an obese slacker who failed everything from mathematics to drama and spent results day in the park feeding bread to swans (In my defence, it was a beautiful day).

 

Today my life's a bit of a shambles due to my inability to get/hold a decent job and my CV has so many unexplained holes it looks like I'm hiding a prison sentence. It's not all bad though, I get by and have plenty of time to feed the ducks. I'll always regret those dumb, dumb decisions though.

[55bloke]

Ah yes, the joys of 20:20 hindsight!!

[whitevanman]

YUP......Dumb decisions....the perogitive of the young !!!mind you, I've made my fair share as I've got older as well......Jobs...the part time Summer job is enjoyable....well apart from having to deal with people, how can I get so many knob ends visiting a Castle??its a ruined Castle in the middle of nowhere, NOT an adventure playground for your foul urchins.... as for the rest of the year I just take what ever jobs I can get, Fixing cars, TV work, Painting and Decorating etc, etc...meant to be building a cottage at the moment, but some bastard has dumped a load of white stuff on top of it...Been self employed and will never go there again if I can help it... 9 years of business, 50 employees, "I am a god"....no just a very stressed, worried owner watching the ship sink and having to lay people off, due to big firms not paying up....not pleasant in anyway, made bankrupt on the Tuesday and had managed to get jobs for 26 of the guys by Wednesday...not all bosses are twats

[Mr Lobster]

I have torn up CVs in the past because of comically poor spelling and grammar

I do a reasonable amount of interviewing and in general anyone with an incomprehensible CV with really poor grammar / spelling goes directly to the bin. Sorry, but thats how it is. For any job there are there are a lot of applicants and its too time consuming to interview anything other than those which look the best. You can have a laugh and joke in an interview but just beware that the interviewer will want to put you at ease partly because that way you open up and are more honest with them - makes it easier for them to suss you out.Good luck with the job the Minimad.Have to say, if i had my time again I'd stay well out of the motor trade. Should really have gone to university and got a proper degree. Hey ho

[Cavcraft]

Seems the motor trade is one of the least desirable means of employment at the moment?I suppose it depends on what you do and who you work for.

[Pete-M]

Tell me about it, since my disastrous December I'm looking for something new to do in the motor trade.. There's one job in a local dealership (the one Mr Lobster works in) but I don't know if I can be bothered applying for it.

[Cavcraft]

What's your trade Pete, are you in sales?

[Mr Lobster]

Tell me about it, since my disastrous December I'm looking for something new to do in the motor trade.. There's one job in a local dealership (the one Mr Lobster works in) but I don't know if I can be bothered applying for it.

Really. Don't. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you why

[Lankytim]

Ive been scraping around for work recently and basically having a bit of a shit time since being made redundant. Im getting by however, youve just got to keep plugging away and refuse to get disheartnened.Ive just finished writing out an application for a certain government run agency. It was frigging huge! Luckily I know a couple of trainers and they have helped me out. Its all about "box ticking" and making sure what you write fits the required criteria. Apparently anything that doesnt quite touch on the series of bulletpoints gets binned. Hopefully the stupidly large and overly complicated application pack will deter many other interested parties from bothering to apply (theres bound to be thousands) and many of the remainder wont have filled out the pack correctly and end up getting their application shredded. I just home ive supplied enough BS and spin to ensure I get shortlisted for an interview.On a plus point while looking at my drvers licence ive found out ive now got ZERO CURRENT POINTS for the first time since 2002ish. Im dead pleased about this. Now ive just got to try my best to keep it that way!If I get any further in this application process I may reveal who its with. If I actually get a job with them it will be like every birthday and Christmas coming at once. :)Oh, this is a grumpy thread... sorry. Tell you whats made me incredibly grumpy, Cadburys sale to Kraft foods this morning. Dont worry, all the jobs are "protected" Humm, where have I heard that before? Terrys, the York based confectioners was taken over by Kraft a few years ago with similar assurances. Where is it now? As far as im aware Kraft have moved all production to Poland and sacked everyone in the U.K. This is exactly what will happen to Cadbury. Yet another age old British institution under foreign control and down the pan. GR8 4 U.K jobs, GR8 for the economy . It seems that in the U.K if you run a failing company you go bust and dissapear. If you are actually a success story and are making money and generating jobs you get snapped up by a giant global corporation, asset stripped and closed down. Why bother.

[retrogeezer]

Good luck with the job application.

 

Tell you whats made me incredibly grumpy, Cadburys sale to Kraft foods this morning. Dont worry, all the jobs are "protected"

Thats a shame, too bad this world is so obsessed wih money. I heard this story years ago and it always sticks in my mind:

 

 

Retirement Story

 

A fishing boat was docked in a tiny coastal village south of the border. An American tourist complimented the local fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very long", answered the fisherman. "Then why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American. The man said that his small catch was enough for his family. The American asked, "What do you do with the rest of your time?" The fisherman replied, "I sleep late, play with my children, catch a few fish, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar and sing a few songs. I have fun…"

 

The American interrupted, "Hey, I have an MBA from Duke and I can help you. Start by fishing longer every day and selling the extra fish you catch then you can buy a bigger boat. The larger boat will bring in more money and you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet. Instead of selling to a middleman, you can sell directly to the processing plants. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, LA or New York City! There you can direct your enterprise."

 

"How long would that take?" asked the fisherman. "20-25 years", replied the American. "And after that?" asked the fisherman. "That's when it gets really interesting", answered the American, smiling. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!" "Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fisherman.

 

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny coastal village, sleep late, play with your grandchildren, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and playing the guitar with your friends!"

[pogweasel]

Garage labour rates. How the fuck are they still getting away with it??Just been quoted over £450 + the dreaded to do the cambelt on my van. I nearly fell over.

[saabhappy]

Main dealer labour rates are just a reflection of how snooty the manufacturer is in its own eyes, hence Audi dealers charging well into three figures per hour. Fortunately my local "little man" (actually he's about 6'6"!) inhabits the same solar system as the rest of us.

[retrogeezer]

The Citroen dealer near my brother wanted £100 an hour labour...!!

[saabhappy]

The Citroen dealer near my brother wanted £100 an hour labour...!!

I know, it's just madness!

[pogweasel]

I'd understand if it was a stealer, but it's not.

[Pete-M]

What's your trade Pete, are you in sales?

I've done my sales stint, yeah. I like working with cars, but can't be bothered actually working on cars any more.

 

Sales was ok but highly stressed for fuck all cash. I'd like to have a go at working in a parts department. That way I can use my skillz for remembering stupidly unimportant details and get paid for it.

[saabhappy]

Have you any other choice?

[pogweasel]

Not much, they are all about the same chuffing price round here, except for Man In A Shed and he doesn't like dealing with stuff after about 1995...I wonder what they DO with the rest of the money one the spanner-twirler's wages are paid. Not like it's even DIY-able due to stupid design and lack of workshop book literature.