The grumpy thread

[mat_the_cat]

Or that if you're into cars, you *must* like Top Gear. I regularly get Top Gear related presents every Christmas!

 

I do watch it when it's on, but these days more in hope than expectation. The specials can be interesting sometimes, if you ignore the blatant set-ups. But each to their own...

[Sigmund Fraud]

A proper TV programme on cars MUST contain tweed-jacket-wearing, pipe-smoking, grumpy, aging men talking passionately about Mumford linkages.

 

Such programmes have unfortunately not been produced in many, many years. They appear to have been replaced by a combination of low-grade comedy and occasional vandalism. Such abominations are, of course, very popular as they are appropriate for the wide masses whose car knowledge is mostly marketing blurb and man-down-t'pub dross. Shame.

[MrDuke]

Hammond should never have been allowed to recover after his accident.

 

 

EFA

[mat_the_cat]

A proper TV programme on cars MUST contain tweed-jacket-wearing, pipe-smoking, grumpy, aging men talking passionately about Mumford linkages.

 

Salvage Squad could have been perfect, except it was over dramaticised and dumbed down - I guess to try and have more of a mass appeal. I had a bit of a 'thing' for Claire though...

 

At least now we have YouTube, and I can quite happily waste an hour or so watching videos on there which show more of the sort of things I want to watch.

[cms206]

Top Gear needs Chris Goffey.

I've not watched last night's yet but to be honest I suspect I probably won't miss much.

[mercrocker]

Top Gear irritates me by virtue of its very existence....I never watch it, am aware of who the long-hairs are but get fed up with every twot who sees I have "different" vehicles trying to bore me to death with tales from this media circus.    Also I visit Beaulieu quite often and have to avert my eyes from the carnage resulting from various "japes" they have carried out which for some reason Beaulieu seem to think are fitting displays in a motor museum.   Its a bit like football really, nothing against the game just wish it was carried out completely oblivious to me....

[morris_ital_lover]

Re. Topgear, I used to be a big fan and it did used to have some quality material. Two series ago (IIRC) they had lots of interesting comparisons but that didn't last and they went back to lower grade stuff. Last nights was just plain braindead, every single one of the challenges was  so blatently staged they might as well have sat there with scripts and the 'hot-hatch test' essentially descended into a juvenile police chase fantasy.... Oh well, I won't be watching the rest of the series if it is all like that.

[Junkman]

I often wonder what came first - the masses being as dumb as 20 yards of motorway near Milton Keynes because the stupid telly programmes dumbed them down, or the telly programmes being so stupid because the masses became so dumb that they rattle when they walk.

Difficult call, but PHAKT is, that whoever is responsible for the telly programme nowadays, is convinced that everybody except him is a total dimwit. About three years ago, I had enough of it, and stopped watching telly altogether. After just a few weeks, I noticed that my brain started to recover. Now I can't watch that bollox for two minutes without getting the impression that someone tries to brainwash me.

On the down side, I can't maintain a conversation about whatever is on the telly, and you would be surprised, how few conversations with people who still watch the telly this leaves. They are so obsessed with it, there is hardly anything else they can talk about, especially since for frighteningly many, the telly completely replaced all real life experiences.

Add to this that I blatantly refuse to carry a mobile phone. I hate telephones on a general principle and carrying one around is the last thing I will do, I'd much prefer a gun.

Now, we have Homosexuals, Pakis, Polish, French, whatever, but if you have to admit in a round, that you don't watch the telly and have no mobile phone, then you will experience, what being discriminated against is really like. Add that you think football is a sport for poofs, if you want to be on your own for the rest of the evening. It's bloody pathetic.

[trigger]

Does anybody know if that trick that they done last night with the hazard switch in the Nova was really true? For those who missed it Clarkson showed how you could nicked a late model Nova by taking the hazard switch out, turning it upside down and pushing it back in again and the ignition would come on meaning all you had to do was bump start the car and drive off.

 

And then the steering lock comes on and you crash.

[dollywobbler]

What annoys me most about Top Gear is the amount of whining it generates. I don't watch it. Nuff said!

[morris_ital_lover]

A quick google suggests it is true, apparently it affects other Vauxhalls as well... (IBTORLVOXALSRSHIT)

[mat_the_cat]

I had enough of it, and stopped watching telly altogether.

 

I grew up without a TV in the house, so can understand your view and sympathise with the discrimination! As a teenager, having no TV was awful but now I can see that it's shaped who I am to some extent, and am grateful to my Dad for that.

 

It's often on in the background at home now, but struggle to think of anything I would actively choose to watch if it meant not doing something else.

[gordonbennet]

Can agree with Junkman about not watching telly, we do but almost nothing mainstream or current, and never news/sitcom/sport/docu celebrity shite.

 

The most liberating thing i did about 30 years ago was to decide never to buy a newspaper again, and i haven't, i have howver skimmed the odd rag at a burger bar and, yep, fuck alls changed its still all shite.

Never watch or listen to the news either.

 

Again, as Junkman noticed about stopping watching telly, when you stop the bastard MSM brainwashing you by refusing to pay for or read their shite propaganda, within a few weeks you notice something profound happening, you learn to think independantly for yourself again.

 

Then you start to seek out other forms of news, such as online and by reading news from other sources you garner wider views, but mainly your own.

 

Its almost as liberating as the day you pay that last mortgage instalment, and you realise THEY haven't got you by the bollocks any more.

 

Try it.

[Junkman]

I grew up without a TV in the house, so can understand your view and sympathise with the discrimination! As a teenager, having no TV was awful but now I can see that it's shaped who I am to some extent, and am grateful to my Dad for that.

 

It's often on in the background at home now, but struggle to think of anything I would actively choose to watch if it meant not doing something else.

 

Lucky you. I grew up with a telly and like for many, it simply was part of my daily routine for decades.

The reason why I ultimately gave it up altogether is actually a lot more profane than I would like people to believe.

I always did something else while watching TV, mostly build model cars.

Then I started needing reading glasses. I can't build model cars without wearing my glasses, but I can't watch the telly with them.

Bifocals would make me either have a rather lethal accident, or end up in an asylum, whichever comes first.

So something had to give and I decided it's the telly.

[oman5]

Interesting* PHACT about top gear last night..It was filmed at Caerwent training ground, just up the road from me. In the war it was a munitions factory complex, then afterwards used by the USAF for (if you believe local folklore) missile/weapons storage. After they left, it was kind of mothballed, a vast complex full of its own private road system, miles of internal railway line (linked to the main line) and lots and lots of 1940s red brick buildings/workshops/storage sheds.

It's now run in partnership with a private firm, parts of it are still used for army training purposes but many of the buildings are let out to individuals as use for storage/workshops etc.

It's where my mate the master mechanic has his workshop and is a truly fascinating place. very tight security means you cannot go wandering around though, and the buidings, secure though they are have no electricity/running water and they want paying a year's rent in advance- best part of £2k!

[Junkman]

Top Gear in a nutshell:

 

A car with a more powerful engine is better than a car with a less powerful engine, the Germans have no sense of humour and hand carve cars in the Black Forest wearing Lederhosen and listening to Oomptah music, yanks don't go around corners, and the British would build the best cars if they would still build cars.

 

It's actually less than pathetic.

[Spiny Norman]

The thing I love most about TG nowadays is the amount of whingeing butt-hurt it generates on car forums.

As a TV show it's actually pretty crap these days but I eagerly await each new series for the usual bout of moaning on all the forums, which is every bit as predictable as the show's become.

 

Fun idea for a TG drinking game shamelessly stolen from another site where people were whingeing about last night's show...

"Its all scripted" - pint of Gin
"Why isn't it more about cars?" - down a pint
"Fit bird behind..." - Jagerbomb
"It's too childish/stupid/pathetic" -bottle of Jack daniels . no breathing
SIARPC is shite and a waste of time - double Absinthe.
I prefer Fifth Gear" - Pint of garlic wine
"James May's hair..." - Gallon of Absinthe
"Bring back Jason Dawe" - Yard of Bollinger
'Hammond's a **** ' – bottle of scotch
'it makes millions for the BBC'' - bucket of Smirnoff
Is this is where the licence fee goes? bottle of absinthe. No breathing.
'if you don't like it don't watch it' pint of Cider

[beko1987]

Missus and my mum had a massive shouting match saturday. Resutl is that missus is staying at her mums for a few days and my mums being a moody miserable bastard.

 

Looks like I'm spending more time in the garage for the next few days then!

 

And I quite liked TG last night. Skipped SIARPC as always, but liked the main challenge. But then I only really watch top gear for a laugh. If I want a good review on a car then I look on here/PH/google and normally find what I want!

 

Dont suppose anyone knows any torrents for early early TG do they?

[Junkman]

Can I haz my bottle of JD then, please?

[Junkman]

"Its all scripted" - pint of Gin

"Why isn't it more about cars?" - down a pint

"Fit bird behind..." - Jagerbomb

"It's too childish/stupid/pathetic" -bottle of Jack daniels . no breathing

SIARPC is shite and a waste of time - double Absinthe.

I prefer Fifth Gear" - Pint of garlic wine

"James May's hair..." - Gallon of Absinthe

"Bring back Jason Dawe" - Yard of Bollinger

'Hammond's a **** ' – bottle of scotch

'it makes millions for the BBC'' - bucket of Smirnoff

Is this is where the licence fee goes? bottle of absinthe. No breathing.

'if you don't like it don't watch it' pint of Cider

 

"What I love most about TG nowadays is the amount of whingeing butt-hurt it generates on car forums." - glass of tab water.

[Lankytim]

I didn't see top gear and want to be offended, what cars did they break this time?

[DVee8]

^^ A G reg VW Golf gti

 K reg Nova SRi

and a k reg XR2i

[Lankytim]

That's OUTRAGEOUS! I'm deeply offended and i'm going to write to the prime minister E.T.C

[Bobthebeard]

That's OUTRAGEOUS! I'm deeply offended and i'm going to write to the prime minister.

 

Write to the Daily Mail instead. It will* make everyone angry, bring down the Government, create hatred thus furthering your cause and doubtless result in some hapless minor celebrity being arrested for offering a polo mint to a girl in 1973.

Result!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

A tale of 2 Land Rovers, one of these cars has catalytic converters,dpfs a nd all that green vegan type shite,it does 40 mpg and is all modern and wholesome. The other has a bigger engine no anti pollution bollocks whatsoever.

 

So why is the 'green' modern Gaylander £40 a year more to tax????

[rml2345]

"I never watch Top Gear but last night's episode deeply offended me as it has lowered the value of my six month old Golf which I shall have to set fire to immediately thus lowering the tone of the close.

The BBC should be ashamed and pay the difference in house prices caused by this rubbish." Copyright Daily Mail letters page forever and ever...

[Bobthebeard]

A tale of 2 Land Rovers, one of these cars has catalytic converters,dpfs a nd all that green vegan type shite,it does 40 mpg and is all modern and wholesome. The other has a bigger engine no anti pollution bollocks whatsoever.

image.jpg

So why is the 'green' modern Gaylander £40 a year more to tax????

Because they write the rules basically! It is all about raising revenue. Forget the 'green' thing. The 'green' issue only suits the Government when it suits them TBH.

It will never actually make any sense.

[Ratdat]

I don't watch TG anymore because whilst it has raised the odd chuckle in the past, there's now too much of it that is so woefully weak that it's insulting to even the mildly intelligent. It simply makes me cringe too much for it to actually be fully enjoyable. Shame really, as it has been quite entertaining in the past but it's become kind of like a semi-reality version of Last of the Summer Wine or Only Fools and Horses... both programs which were original and entertaining but outstayed their welcome for far too many years becoming laboured and stale in the process.

 

But then most TV is utter shit, so much so that I doubt I see more than one hours worth a week if that. If it wasn't for the existence of some good films on DVD I doubt I'd even have a TV.

[Bobthebeard]

I don't watch TG anymore because whilst it has raised the odd chuckle in the past, there's now too much of it that is so woefully weak that it's insulting to even the mildly intelligent. It simply makes me cringe too much for it to actually be fully enjoyable. Shame really, as it has been quite entertaining in the past but it's become kind of like a semi-reality version of Last of the Summer Wine or Only Fools and Horses... both programs which were original and entertaining but outstayed their welcome for far too many years becoming laboured and stale in the process.

 

But then most TV is utter shit, so much so that I doubt I see more than one hours worth a week if that. If it wasn't for the existence of some good films on DVD I doubt I'd even have a TV.

Not sure much has changed since the dawn of TV. My grandad used to actually throw stuff at the telly back in the 1960's. His grandad probably chucked stuff at the 'wireless set'.

Before that, folk used to pelt politicians/actors/thespians with eggs and rotten fruit.

[vulgalour]

We should make our own show called Bottom Gear and it should feature woefully bad cars, poorly edited reviews with bad segways and inappropriate music and at least one incident per show of an accidental* boob or bottom shot from camera three while the operator is on his fag break.