The grumpy thread

[cort16]

Tell me about it my 5 series has been parked outside the bowling club in town for the last 2 months as I've not room for it. I promised myself I would never buy more than what I could fit in my lockup and my drive. Both the 5 series and the XJR are going up for sale this month. Time to move on.

[Sigmund Fraud]

Other road users made me grumpy today... I had gotten pretty used to the tailgating-at-90MPH middle management types when I was commuting to my previous job, but now I have to deal with a completely different kettle of fish :

 

Cyclists : I'm sure there's loads of sensible, responsible people who commute to work on a bicycle. Unfortunately, the ones I've been encountering are morons who are doing their bit to improve this country's gene pool by not having any lights on, not wearing any hi-viz clothing and carelessly riding in the middle of the road at dusk.

 

Horse riders : There's also loads of people doing this sensibly, in a manner respectful to others. Unfortunately there are those that don't, like the lady* I came across this morning who ignored a very wide, perfectly flat grass verge and rode her horse literally in the middle of a busy, 50MPH B road. I was really tempted to open my window and hurl a load of abuse at the fat, ugly, smelly beast but I refrained out of respect for the horse.

 

Dog walkers : What safer way to go dogging* than to take your small, black dog out at dusk, along a narrow, unlit country lane, while wearing black trousers and a black hoodie, with the dog off leash. FFS, a hi-viz vest is only 99p or something, are all those people suicidal ?

[Station]

Why has Halfords completely stopped selling service parts for cars (thermostats, HT leads, etc)? I found this was good for Sunday car fixing when no-one else is open?

[castros_bro]

Dropped the 106 off for a "see what needs doing"  £25 MOT at Halfords cuz it's a short walk from work. Got a call 20 mins later, could I remove my car from their workshop as there is a smog of chip fat fumes emanating from the 106 so they are refusing to do the MOT.

[brickwall]

My nephew has fixed my car. The little 3 year old was in the rangie pressing all the buttons and then suddenly the the fuel flap actuator burst into life. What a wee guy.

[Sigmund Fraud]

Dropped the 106 off for a "see what needs doing"  £25 MOT at Halfords cuz it's a short walk from work. Got a call 20 mins later, could I remove my car from their workshop as there is a smog of chip fat fumes emanating from the 106 so they are refusing to do the MOT.

 

Irritating, but within their rights. Is the smoke any less with dino ?

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Changed the discs and pads on my sister's W169 A Class in the rain. Didn't realise the pad wear warning sensor was not reusable so had to leave the car up in the air and dash to eurocarparts. Great, all sorted. Until then the new one broke while I was fitting it to the pad 

[cobblers]

Unless it was totally smoking the place out they were just being twats really,  loads of people have a right bee in their bonnet about using veg - the gaffer at work thought I was gonna get banned from driving for it.

 

That said you weren't doing yourself any favours going to Halfords for an MOT.

[overrun]

THE FRENCH.

 

After some investigation, I concluded that the blower motor in my Dad's recently bought Clio 3 was dead (we knew something needed sorting before buying the car).

 

They like to eat resistors, but this ones tests OK. As does the switch.

 

The blower motor is £230 from Renault, or £110 from Euro Car Parts.

ECP price isn't horrific and It doesn't make sense to buy a used one, when people are after £70+.

 

I see you. This shouldn't be too hard to change.

 

Ah...

 

After all of that, the cursed thing still needs to be rotated topwise with the middle part updown to somehow fit between the clutch pedal box and a bracket/stud welded to the dash brace bar.

 

All sorted and back together now, without so much as a broken clip or spare fastener.

Even the A/C blows ice cold.

 

SCORE

 

This is one of the most awkard interior jobs I have ever done on a car.

Even the way the airbag removes is stupid, imo.

[HillmanImp]

That said you weren't doing yourself any favours going to Halfords for an MOT.

 

I would probably feel safer with the teletubbies doing the MOT test than anyone at Halfrauds.  It will fail on 2 tyres, brake pads, discs, an exhaust section and a missing £699 Boardman roadbike all of which they handily have in stock.

[Negative Creep]

Someone came to look at the Merc and agreed to buy it, then text an hour later to say their husband had to go to hospital so they can't buy it. Still, I have to say fair play for actually letting me know the "truth"

[cobblers]

I would probably feel safer with the teletubbies doing the MOT test than anyone at Halfrauds.  It will fail on 2 tyres, brake pads, discs, an exhaust section and a missing £699 Boardman roadbike all of which they handily have in stock.

 

 

No way, theres fucking no chance of Halfords having brake pads or a bit of exhaust in stock anymore. TBH they wouldn't even have the bike in the right size

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I'll bet if you did a survey in an intensive care unit you'd find 95% of the people in there won an eBay auction ten minutes before admission. 

[Negative Creep]

Or how many are badly ill as soon as they discover what we sell is non refundable

[HillmanImp]

No way, theres fucking no chance of Halfords having brake pads or a bit of exhaust in stock anymore. TBH they wouldn't even have the bike in the right size

Sorry, my bad. It would fail on missing tasteless alloys, no TURBO badge, insufficiently blacked window tinting, wonky LED strips and only one working sub woofer.

[Cavcraft]

I had a bloke (who I know of old) looking at my 306 estate today. 'Oh, it's ideal. I have got dogs and it'd be great for them. I don't care what it looks like, it'll only get used occasionally and the dogs will actually sleep in it at night, so it'll make an ideal kennel.'

One hour later, a message: 'Sorry mate, my missus doesn't like it and said she won't drive it'

 

It's not that much of a biggie as it goes though, about 25 years ago now I sold him that Cortina, in which I may have royally stitched him up in quite some fashion.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Mrs_Bumcrack had left the mondeo blocking the drive this morning. I needed to move it approx 1ft. Decided to push it rather than fire it up for 10 secs. You can imagine how much speed i built up in 1 ft distance on the flat, must have been all of 0.1 mph. Anyway when it touched the tree there was the sickening CRACK sound of Mondeo bumper bustage. These fucking bumpers are unbelievable, i don't know if they go brittle with age but they seriously have ZERO impact absorption properties. Hopeless.

[warren t claim]

Mrs_Bumcrack had left the mondeo blocking the drive this morning. I needed to move it approx 1ft. Decided to push it rather than fire it up for 10 secs. You can imagine how much speed i built up in 1 ft distance on the flat, must have been all of 0.1 mph. Anyway when it touched the tree there was the sickening CRACK sound of Mondeo bumper bustage. These fucking bumpers are unbelievable, i don't know if they go brittle with age but they seriously have ZERO impact absorption properties. Hopeless.

http://www.jack-frost.co.uk/mondeo_gaffer_tape.html

[Station]

These fucking bumpers are unbelievable, i don't know if they go brittle with age but they seriously have ZERO impact absorption properties. Hopeless.

 

I was talking about this the other day, what exactly are the made of? Eggshells? They have copious amounts of yellow foam underneath (for some reason I know this) which serves no purpose as the bumper is already cracked!!

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

When did they start doing it? Did they just age oddly?

[Richard]

Plastics do get brittle with age, and cold weather of course. Brittle bumper disease affects all cars that begin with M and end with O.

[Negative Creep]

If you had loft space now would be an ideal time to buy as many uncracked Mondeo bumpers as you can. Just imagine the OSF tax they'll attract in 30 years

[phil_lihp]

Are they under tension?  It does seem odd, most of the ones I've seen around have gaffer tape and/or cracks and chips to some degree whereas the same generations of Fiestas, Escorts and Scorpios didn't seem to have this problem.

[warren t claim]

Nope, just a shell with foam behind.

[philibusmo]

Unless it was totally smoking the place out they were just being twats really,  loads of people have a right bee in their bonnet about using veg - the gaffer at work thought I was gonna get banned from driving for it.

 

That said you weren't doing yourself any favours going to Halfords for an MOT.

I can speak from experience, having been the previous owner of this Peugeot, that when started from cold (especially on high concentrations of veg) it can produce a cloud of smoke like nothing else i have known. Every evening when leaving work I would turn the underground car park into a cross between Auschwitz and a fish 'n' chip shop.

[chaseracer]

"Haddock might fry"...?

[cms206]

Virgin Media.

 

Recently taken over tenancy in this house from MUTHA_CMS and everything was transferred over. SWMBO called me today to say the broadband and on demand were down, she called out the Virgin engineers, they turned up and promptly disconnected us.

 

Except they didn't come to disconnect us.

 

The bollock brained fucktards came to disconnect my old dear because she cancelled her direct debit. We'll be without internet and telly for two days until their IT department unlinks my account from my old dear's, despite the fact they debited my account yesterday.

 

AAAAAAAAAARGH!

[Cavcraft]

I can speak from experience, having been the previous owner of this Peugeot, that when started from cold (especially on high concentrations of veg) it can produce a cloud of smoke like nothing else i have known.

 

My hatchback does this. When it's cold it's like a thick fog has descended over the car park, and timed to perfection it makes that bastard with his noisy early morning dog cough and splutter.

[Cavcraft]

We'll be without telly for two days until their IT department unlinks my account from my old dear's, despite the fact they debited my account yesterday.

 

 

 

I'd be fucking made up to have no telly for two days. 

[wuvvum]

Bollocks.  I spent half my weekend getting the Vectra ready for an MoT (or as ready as it can be with worn rear discs and a rattly front ARB droplink).  I even bought a universal screen wash jet and bodged it into the buggered front bumper so the headlight wash would work FFS.  Just been out in the car and the fugging headlight self levelling warning light has come on on the dash.  I bet it's going to be a right cuntbasket to fix too.  I may end up having to say fuck it and buy a pair of second hand non-Xenon headlights.  Although I bet even doing this will cause the Canbus to have kittens.  ALL MODERN CARS R SHIT etc..