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Posted

Job Centre and their mandatory work bs. Looks like they want me to do 14 hour days for this crap. Funny how easy they can get you into these things but anything normal they "can't help you with" - "we don't have that on our system". Doesn't help that the "advisors" in our job centre are one wrong word away from a smack.

Posted

Job Centre and their mandatory work bs. Looks like they want me to do 14 hour days for this crap. Funny how easy they can get you into these things but anything normal they "can't help you with" - "we don't have that on our system". Doesn't help that the "advisors" in our job centre are one wrong word away from a smack.

 

the whole system is designed to piss you off to the point when you sign yourself off.

 

why not suddenly do your back in and visit the doctor to get a sick note?

Posted

Mrs_Duke is a slightly-pale veggie, and gets bitten constantly. I'm a pudgy, unfit meat-eater and very rarely get bitten - however, when it does happen, I'm left with permanent scars regardless of whether I scratch or not.

 

Mrs_Junkman is a very pale veggie and also gets bitten constantly. I'm a member of the white, male, heterosexual, tax paying, meat eating minority that drinks, smokes, and watches stockcar races. I rarely get bitten, if I am I hardly notice, nor does it leave any marks, even if it is by a bee or wasp. Actually, being stung by a bee or wasp is less severe for me than being bitten by a mosquito.

Posted

Predictable, I know, coming from me, but.... Tesco Fucking Broadband.  Nuff said really.  This is why you haven't seen me lately.  I simply don't have a connection at least 90% of the time.  They ain't getting a renewal out of me.  I could describe what I get from them as abysmal, disgusting, incompetent... but those words are much too kind.

Posted

Foreign import. :wink:

 

You'll get used to the left hand drive.

 

Mine came with RHD as standard :)

Posted

Women. I never fucking learn.

Posted

@ sporty-shite, when he offered you £1200 you should have said " if you can get a car like that for £1200 then i will buy 2 off you"

Posted

Always the drivers fault.

 

Some customers take a while to answer the door, some give the wrong address, often I have to wait outside a big dormitory block thing on RAF base and wait for the customer. There is a 20mph speed limit too, I usually have to do at least 30.

 

Everything takes time, it takes 5 minutes to drive from the furthest point on RAF to the nearest estate.

 

I have to park in a car park and run to the visitors reception on my first trip to camp and get photo ID, every day.

 

My boss just doesn't have any fucking idea. I drive to the camp at the vehicles top speed I wonder how I could POSSIBLY do my job any faster.

 

*I've already been warned about speeding on camp by an Officer, and threatened to be banned from camp.

Posted

Should I try not giving a fuck? I was ready to tell him to fire me today, he was asking the impossible again.

 

It's not worth the potential driving ban, are all jobs this stupid?

 

Is anyone having a happy life?

Posted

Should I try not giving a fuck? I was ready to tell him to fire me today, he was asking the impossible again.

 

It's not worth the potential driving ban, are all jobs this stupid?

 

Is anyone having a happy life?

i used to have the same problem when doing the home delivery for tesco... then in the end i thought bollox 2 it, you will get your shopping when i get there, and i will be back at the depot when i get back..... worked out quite well in the end... well took the stress outta the job for me anyways lol

Posted

I may try that.... my supervisor is just as bad too:

 

He took the last order on the phone to an address in Northallerton, when I got back he asked my why so long.

 

I said the address was in Northallerton.

 

He said you SHOULD NOT BE TAKING TEN POUND ORDERS TO NORTHLLERTON!

 

 - - we have another store in Northallerton so I though it was strange.

 

But my issue was. Why the fuck did he take the order and send me then?

 

It has just been a fucking wanky day today, and it was probably 25 degrees outside and I was driving around in the van with the heaters on full so the food didn't get cold!

Posted

I may try that.... my supervisor is just as bad too:

 

He took the last order on the phone to an address in Northallerton, when I got back he asked my why so long.

 

I said the address was in Northallerton.

 

He said you SHOULD NOT BE TAKING TEN POUND ORDERS TO NORTHLLERTON!

 

 - - we have anotherr store in Northallerton so i though it was strange.

 

But my issue was. Why the fuck did he take the order and send me then?

 

It has just been a fucking wanky day today, and it was probably 25 degrees outside and I was driving around in the van with the heaters on full so the food didn't get cold!

 

 

to piss you off and waste your fuel

Posted

Also I work at the Leeming Bar store 450 feet from my house, yet a few days into my employment he starts asking me to drive to Northallerton so it's costing me £20 a week extra in fuel.


 


And then I started today at 5pm, he rang me up at 4.40 and said I MUST come to Northallerton store, then I got there at 455  and his wife piped up "you are going to be late your meant to start in Leeming bar at 5pm"


 


STUPID - FUCKING - BINT


Posted

I may try that.... my supervisor is just as bad too:

 

He took the last order on the phone to an address in Northallerton, when I got back he asked my why so long.

 

I said the address was in Northallerton.

 

He said you SHOULD NOT BE TAKING TEN POUND ORDERS TO NORTHLLERTON!

 

 - - we have anotherr store in Northallerton so i though it was strange.

 

But my issue was. Why the fuck did he take the order and send me then?

 

It has just been a fucking wanky day today, and it was probably 25 degrees outside and I was driving around in the van with the heaters on full so the food didn't get cold!

You should have said "i was thinking the samething, so which idiot took a £10 order for there :D

and you might want to leave little H&S hints about working in hot conditions.

Posted

Auto renewing shit. I wrote to a company asking them not to auto renew something, they never responded and I forgot about it until getting the invoice half an hour ago. They say they're taking the money on Monday - hopefully not Monday at 00:01 because their customer services don't open until office hours. 

 

Logged into their billing site, there's no option to cancel services on there (of course not) but I have changed my card details to gibberish which should hopefully slow them down a bit. 

 

I hate auto renewing stuff, it preys on the weak, forgetful and stupid. Which is unfortunate because I'm weak, forgetful and VERY VERY STUPID.

Posted

Auto renewing shit. I wrote to a company asking them not to auto renew something, they never responded and I forgot about it until getting the invoice half an hour ago. They say they're taking the money on Monday - hopefully not Monday at 00:01 because their customer services don't open until office hours. 

 

Logged into their billing site, there's no option to cancel services on there (of course not) but I have changed my card details to gibberish which should hopefully slow them down a bit. 

 

I hate auto renewing stuff, it preys on the weak, forgetful and stupid. Which is unfortunate because I'm weak, forgetful and VERY VERY STUPID.

set up online banking and just refuse any payment to them.

Posted

Gunna start my own business:

 

"man with a Jimp.... very small things moved locally for an almost reasonable price"

  • Like 1
Posted

Gunna start my own business:

 

"man with a Jimp.... very small things moved locally for an almost reasonable price"

Get it done in BIG letters incase it ends up looking like "man with a limp" :D

Posted

set up online banking and just refuse any payment to them.

 

I cancelled the credit card (and the account it was associated with) last month, I'm 95% sure they don't have any of my valid card details but I'm still going to worry about it until Monday.  :evil:

Posted

Don't take a mate with you and don't get him to wear a mask or it'll be man with a gimp in a jimp

Posted

Make sure your mate in the mask has taken Viagra, or else he may end up being a limp gimp in a...och, I'll just get me coat, alright?

Posted

make sure the jimp that your viagra-fuelled mask-wearing mate is driving, is not carrying a payload of decapod crustaceans or else you'll have a limp gimp in a jimp full of shrimps

Posted

Take care to avoid an accident involving a Rootes group vehicle or you will end up a limp gimp in a Jimp full of shrimps in an Imp.

Posted

You could advertise the business using an airborne zeppelin-shaped balloon.

Posted

Don't put your mate on the game or you'll be the Pimp of a limp gimp in a Jimp full of shrimps in an Imp.

  • Like 2
Posted

"You know what you've got to do now, dontcha laddy?"

 

16594056.jpg

Posted

Write to HR and tell them their consultation was a steaming shower of shit and a total waste of time?

Posted

You need to do a Dave Lee Travis by quitting live on air. Maybe follow it up by in appropriately touching up one of your fans.

Posted

Barricade the door and see how long you can play Heathen Earth by Throbbing Gristle before a SWAT team arrives.

  • Like 1

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