The grumpy thread

[M'coli]

Hell, I dunno. I wuz just sayin' like. Since about 1992/3 most cars have this kind of shit going off.... Just unseen by most drivers, as it normally goes wrong in the hands of the last owner, you know, the one who cares least. I wouldn't like to mess with my 5 year old Focus. It's supremely reliable, like ANY Ford, but still.

 

Al! I remember now, he's got some sort of BM, the arse of which was clunking and then went away. (Like a gal I used to date...)

RE airbags - I believe the US ones are twice the size of the EU ones, on account of the seatbelt laws we have over here. They probably have 4 times the fabric in them, so I imagine cell-harvesting a thief's DNA off it will be a right bastard!

[scaryoldcortina]

^ not the construction of the belt, the requirement to wear it....

[M'coli]

Indeed! A mandatory* spike in the centre of the steering wheel would make both seatbelts and airbags redundant however.

 

 

*Pronounced as man-da-tory, NOT man-dat-ory

[scaryoldcortina]

Didn't know that! well, I suppose your airbags are the same as ours then. I remember when airbags were introduced here, they were supposed to be different to USA ones because of the seatbelt thing.

[mk1_4dr]

Charlotte got mugged in town yesterday.

She'd been to the cash machine outside her bank, which promtly ate her card, so she went inside and managed to get someone to open the back of the machine and recover it for her.

Now, being late for work, she changed the route she walked and cut through between some shops and it was there that some little fucking srote has come running past her and tried to grab her bag.

Shes kept a hold of it and said scrote has stuck a grubby mit in her bag and grabbed the first thing he touched which happened to be her card holder and then promtly fucked off.

 

So he's essentially got away with nothing, the stupid, cowardly little fuckpig.

 

In other news, Ive had the most stressful, disorganised set at work (and its not over yet). How can such a big company, thats currently pumping £50m into our site, not have the forsight to have a roof that doesn't fucking leak. We've warned them on numerous occasions (everytime theres more than just a bit of drizzle and we get water coming down the interior walls) but instead they've chosen to leave it and now the warehouse is an ungodly fucking mess and the ceiling has come down in our offices, the changing room and pretty much every area in the factory. Having water coming out of light fittings and dripping onto the machinary control panels is no way to safeguard your workforce.

 

Also, Eddie Stobart is fucking SHITE.

[myglaren]

This, on the RAC's website:

Fuel optimiser

 

Another money-saving option is a fuel optimiser. These fit in to a car’s fuel line and generally need to be professionally fitted. However, according to fueloptimisersystems.com, they can reduce running costs by up to 27 per cent – depending on the size of your engine – and cost from £200 upwards.

I can't believe they're endorsing such things - I've had a read of the blurb about it on the website cited by the RAC, and it sounds like snakeoil to me - and they say that it works on petrol, diesel, biodiesel and LPG? I doubt it:

The Rod cores are specially designed to create turbulence in the fuel flow path, enriching the fuel and maximizing the take-up of trace metals. The fuel then passes through a sintered ceramic magnetic core which alters the free electron structure of the fuel, polarizing the fuel hydrocarbons prior to combustion.

Hydrocarbons have very little electric dipole moment so I fail to see how they will be polarised!

The two processes, chemical and ferro-magnetic, essentially alter the molecular structure of the fuel to encourage better bonding between fuel molecules and atmospheric oxygen promoting a more complete oxidation of the fuel and, hence, a more efficient combustion process.

The mind boggles!

Additionally, a metal alloy catalyst is deposited in molecular quantities in the combustion chambers, coating the vulnerable surfaces of the valves, valve seats and piston rings to prevent overheating, aid sealing and enhance engine lubrication.

If this thing worked it would poison the exhaust catalysts too...

The results of improved fuel combustion are a significant reduction in harmful exhaust emissions, a noticeable increase in engine power output, and a measurable improvement in fuel economy.

Yo, seriously?

 

Stanley Unwin couldn't have done it better!

[Cavcraft]

Jeepers, what a pisser. I hope your missus is ok mate and not too shaken up and I also hope you find this light fingered bastard one day and give him something of a seeing to.

The main thing is Charlotte is unharmed of course but it must have been a horrible experience.

[Negative Creep]

 

Just noticed this, which is really handy as the car is currently for sale. There is some red paint left behind, so the only consolation is that the spineless wanker will have a damaged his car as well :rage:

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Charlotte got mugged in town yesterday.

She'd been to the cash machine outside her bank, which promtly ate her card, so she went inside and managed to get someone to open the back of the machine and recover it for her.

Now, being late for work, she changed the route she walked and cut through between some shops and it was there that some little fucking srote has come running past her and tried to grab her bag.

Shes kept a hold of it and said scrote has stuck a grubby mit in her bag and grabbed the first thing he touched which happened to be her card holder and then promtly fucked off.

 

So he's essentially got away with nothing, the stupid, cowardly little fuckpig.

 

Ugh, that's not nice. I had an attempted mugging in Manchester a few years ago - a man asked me if I could lend him some money, I said no and walked away. A few minutes later he confronts me again and claims to have a knife, and would I now like to give him some money? Now I'm not a strong or a fast person, but for some reason I took my wallet out held it away from him. When he lurched forward to grab it, I pushed his head back as hard as I could and ran into a shop screaming "help help he's got a knife!" to the bemused sales clark who saw no-one because he had bolted.

 

Anyway the thing which spooked me later wasn't that it had happened at all, but that this guy had followed me for a few minutes waiting for a quiet time to strike and I hadn't noticed him at all. Also that I valued the £10 note in my wallet enough to instinctively fight someone who may have had a knife

[Tayne]

Didn't know that! well, I suppose your airbags are the same as ours then. I remember when airbags were introduced here, they were supposed to be different to USA ones because of the seatbelt thing.

 

US-market airbags are bigger.

Its because the US government insists on a certain standard of a crash protection for unbelted occupants.

[CIH]

Another thing that peeves me is “Serving Suggestionâ€Â. I have a salad cream bottle which has a photo of some salad cream on a tomato and some lettuce on the label. Why does it say “Serving Suggestionâ€Â? I know that’s not the only way you are allowed to use it and I know that the tomatoes and lettuce don’t come with it.

 

Or the Mr Kipling buns where one is cut in half on a plate. “Serving Suggestionâ€Â. F**k me – I know they’re all going to be intact in the pack. Are there people out there that need this kind of guidance??

 

You'd think food manufacturers and retailers would have some sense, but they don't. For example, Sainsbury's were selling some crumpets and they added to the packaging something like 'Delicious Strawberries', written in MASSIVE FONT, which turned out to have been a mere serving suggestion and nothing to do with the actual (plain savoury taste) item inside the packaging. The legislation got enacted to stop this sort of piss-taking.

 

Because a fucking idiot chancer bought that salad cream and tried to sue someone bcause the product was missing it's tomato. The rest of us have to be treatd like idiots because no one wants to hand over a shitzillion pounds to idiot chancers.

[warren t claim]

^ not the construction of the belt, the requirement to wear it....

 

Seatbelt usage is required in every state of the USA! Major fines for failure to buckle up. Otherwise, the feds would withhold highway construction/repair $$. The usual extortion brought to bear to force national compliance.

 

Not every state!

Many states have a primary and secondary enforcement system as well.

[Cavcraft]

eBay seller: I bet you'd moan like hell if the buyer of your item was as f*****g unreliable as you are. Wasting VDT sat here wiating for something that was supposedly coming this morning

[warren t claim]

http://fallenscoop.com/14033/jordan-kat ... eyron-pink

 

I really just want to end my life now. Pass me my gun please.

[Guest]

http://fallenscoop.com/14033/jordan-katie-price-bugatti-car-veyron-pink

I really just want to end my life now. Pass me my gun please.

 

Jordan, aka katie price, loves anything pink

 

Yes - Cock I believe

[ashmicro]

Yes - Cock I believe

 

That made me snort!

[lancashireclamper]

http://fallenscoop.com/14033/jordan-katie-price-bugatti-car-veyron-pink

 

I really just want to end my life now. Pass me my gun please.

 

Why doesn't the plastic titted bitch just have "PLEASE LOOK AT ME; I'LL DO ANYTHING IF YOU LOOK AT ME"

Tattoo'd in Neon across her fucking ugly mug and have done with it,

(pathetic waste of flesh and organs that she is)

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

talking about them is giving the attention they so crave. Just ignore the bastards.

[Negative Creep]

http://fallenscoop.com/14033/jordan-katie-price-bugatti-car-veyron-pink

I really just want to end my life now. Pass me my gun please.

 

Jordan, aka katie price, loves anything pink

 

Yes - Cock I believe

 

 

And Dwight Yorke

[autofive]

So the last week the star booked her new snazzy ride in for a respray with her car customiser – whos experts are similar to those featured on the hit MTV show, Pimp My Ride.

[Justin Case]

http://fallenscoop.com/14033/jordan-katie-price-bugatti-car-veyron-pink

 

I really just want to end my life now. Pass me my gun please.

 

Don't get too upset. What's the betting she hired one for the weekend for £41k, pink wrap for £2k, got a magazine to pick up the tab in return for the 'exclusive' story, handed it back on Monday, and it is now back in the showroom ready for the next publicity mad nonentity.

 

Edit: No, if that really is the truth pass me the gun

[Guest]

Charlotte got mugged in town yesterday.

Got a description? Which bank was it? I spend a fair amount of time in Wakefield centre and like to keep a visual record of scrotes in my head so I can see what they're up to and what they're about, gives me something to do on my lunch.

 

Also, the Veyron is a very ugly-looking car anyway, so I wouldn't worry that much.

[Station]

Last night, a massive moth flew into my bedroom when I was about to sleep. It was doing that thing where it flies around the light and then starts swooping all over the place, missing my face by inches, crashing into the wall and just being a pain in the arse. I got the fly spray out but it was invulnerable so used a lighter with it as I wasn't sleeping in a room with the pesky winged fool blindly doing laps of my swede all night. I couldn't get rid of it, so just let it be (sitting inside the lamp shade) and went to sleep.

I woke up in the morning half dazed, and five minutes later, I feel a wriggling under my arm. I shoot up and realise I've been cradling the arthropodian arsehole all night like a teddy bear.

I punched the bastard to death.

[Lord Sterling]

Royal Mail - Why is it you must 'lose' car parts that are sent to me. So far I have had 2 fuel filters sent me which have somehow disappeared down Royal Mail's black hole. Now, the 1 most important part I need to get my fucking Rover Sterling running again has also gone missing having been sent almost 2 weeks ago. I really should have asked the lad who sent it to me to send by recorded delivery, you never know, I might have that bastard car outside my house now!

 

Also, I had a matchbox caravan sent to me by 'post', not the most expensive item but it seems someone has also pocket that or its fallen down behind the conveyer belt

 

I think from now on, I shall insist that every packaged item sent to me by post must be sent by recorded delivery. Should have done this in the first place.

 

Self-Setter Trees - These wanking things are popping up all over the shop. Started to remove one today, thought it would be an easy job although I knew they are pretty hard to remove, I did eventually manage to removed it but I also managed to rip my tracksuit bottoms

[CreepingJesus]

Crikey, if I'd have thought that anything I'd say would elicit responses, I'd have been clearer that my squint steering wheel grump was actually about one of Asda's Scania R420's. Cheers for the responses chaps, but ultimately, it doesn't count as a defect, therefore nothing will be done about it. Not my problem really. It was just that my thumbs are used to the cruise control and multifunction buttons being in a certain place, and they weren't; thus constantly distracting me and getting my grump on.

For what it's worth, it doesn't happen on any car of mine; I'll pay to get it sorted, or use the wood-and-string method at a pinch. The V70 (y'know, the one I wrote the unnecessarily long thread about) seems to have a bit of a vibe over 70-ish, so it'll need the tracking doing soon.

And I'm with whoever mentioned the Aldous Huxley line that "The safest car would be one with no seatbelt, and a sharpened steel spike attached to the steering wheel hub". I was idling in a bodyshop yard years ago, looking at a badly mashed up Clio. While the airbag had deployed, there was blood and hair on the broken A-pillar trim. Apparently, the driver's head skited off the airbag and nutted the A-pillar. Painful, but I'm told she survived, thankfully.

[boobydoo]

I've just spent an hour and a half at the gym subject to a hideous radio station playing endless, awful R 'n' B crap with an annoying DJ whose every other word was 'massive'.

 

I'm now at work and we've got exactly the same thing playing here.

 

Roll on 5 o'clock when I can sit in the garden in some peace and quiet. ( errr.... with maybe a Carpenters CD on)

[warren t claim]

Just missed out on a cheap Escort van.

 

Would of been cheaper than hiring one for a week or two to get some work done on the house.

[Cavcraft]

Hiring a van you say? Hmm, how about you borrow one c/w driver one weekend?

[warren t claim]

Hiring a van you say? Hmm, how about you borrow one c/w driver one weekend?

 

I might be tempted!

[Guest]

Went to the car show in Barkeby and it hammered it down. Apparently it hasn't rained here for nearly a month. A pity, because there was some tasty shite there, including the remains of one of the nine 1939 GM Futurliners, which was sat on a flatbed towards the back of the show, and an E21 estate (yes, an E21 estate) that covered itself in mud before escaping off into the gloom. I managed to take about 50 photos before the weather went completely and start buggering up my lens. The show took place on an old airfield and I ended up trudging to the garden centre across the way to get out of the rain. When ordering a coffee ('TAK MED KAFFEE, TAK') the rain was so loud on the 50 foot roofing panels, I had to shout in order to be heard.

 

There were tons of Amazons there, surprisingly, including an uncanny replica of my car down to the missing rear overriders and steel sliding sunroof. So that's three cars I know of with a sunroof like mine. Weird.

 

I'm going to VP Autoparts tomorrow which is quite local to my aunt's place. They do a lot of kit that the likes of Brookhouse don't. Together with GCP, it's where all of the UK Amazon specialists buy their parts from. I'm hoping that dealing with them direct might save me a few quid on the parts I need.