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eBay tat volume 3.


Ross_K

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£1,995.00

Does mean that I can advertise my car for a few extra quid now? The best part is where they are listing the "equipment" it has.

 

Immobiliser, side impact protection beams, child-proof rear door locks, adjustable front seatbelt anchorage, halogen headlights, rear wash/wipe, high level third brake light, heated rear window, safety glass all round, water temperature gauge, rev counter, key-in warning chime, lights on warning chime, 4-speed air flow control, 3-position interior light, separately folding rear seat backs, luggage compartment mat.

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{ring ring}

 

lily_tomlin_01.jpg

 

Good afternoon, Stupid & Co, how may I hel….

funny-angry-senior-man-holding-pink-phon

 

'ssup, bay-bee, can you do anything I require?'

 

 

What you can decree, we'll make you see

 

 

'Erm, ok can I have a transvestite Macauley Caulkin and Fagan from the film 'Oliver' on the front pls, perhaps have one of Caulkin's stiletto shoes on fire in the middle?' 

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

Anything else, chief?

 

'Yeah, tell you what can I have Wurzel Gummidge next to that bird out of 'River Dance'?

 

Sounds a bit time, sir, can we jazz that up slightly? How about Wurzel looking wistfully, as if he's just put an up-turned bicycle helmet into a duck pond and set fire to her bra and knickers?

 

'Oh aye, that sounds G-R-8, I'll roll with that' 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

Don't forget it's three-for-one again, ace. Dop you want anything else?

 

'Fuck it, can I have Frank Spencer (with a charcoal goatee beard and wearing Tommy Cooper's hat) looking on as Terry Thomas has a sword fight with Adam Ant.' 

 

Ok, we'll begin it on Mond….

 

'Hang on, that last bit doesn't sound right. Adam Ant is a lot more alive than Terry Thomas, so it's a bit one sided that fight. Tell you what, have an umbrella shoved up Ant's arse, and a banana falling out of his sleeve'

 

 

It'll be ready on Wednesday, sir

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lambretta-125-auto/132702254648?hash=item1ee5abb638%3Ag%3AfRcAAOSw2VJbSLCi&_sop=10&_nkw=airbrushed&_sacat=9800&rt=nc

 

'this is a show scooter that has never been shown'

 

Crufts shut, was it?

 

'professionally airbrushed at a cost of £5000'

 

You'd have been better off professionally shoving 5,000 £1 coins up your arse, eating the hottest curry in the world and firing them back out of a ship's porthole.

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Look at the sodding two-and-eight of this thing

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ford-Transit-Custom-Campervan/253751834424?hash=item3b14c9b738%3Ag%3APlgAAOSwDn5bMR1L&_sop=10&_pgn=2&_nkw=customised&_sacat=9800&rt=nc

 

£2,5556.14 starting price. Best of luck with that one, matey.

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Look at the sodding two-and-eight of this thing

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ford-Transit-Custom-Campervan/253751834424?hash=item3b14c9b738%3Ag%3APlgAAOSwDn5bMR1L&_sop=10&_pgn=2&_nkw=customised&_sacat=9800&rt=nc

 

£2,5556.14 starting price. Best of luck with that one, matey.

 

That needs sending to Romania to become a train (see the Railshite thread for what I'm on about)

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