Shitting in the shallow end. *scrap sadly*

[vulgalour]

Sorry to be such a disappointment everyone.

No need to apologise, disappointment is what we're all here for.

[aldo135]

Haha thanks for that, really glad I didn't look that up! Still not sure why you'd have to go through that to get a bike licence?

[Jim Bell]

Haha thanks for that, really glad I didn't look that up! Still not sure why you'd have to go through that to get a bike licence?

That's just for a 125.

You really don't want to know what you have to do to ride a 650.

[Cavcraft]

20190125_201505.jpg

 

20190125_201907.jpg

 

 

Sorry to be such a disappointment everyone.

 

For once, you really have let us down. Dreadful cars (soz) must do better. Nothing/several hundred.

[Jim Bell]

For once, you really have let us down. Dreadful cars (soz) must do better. Nothing/several hundred.

 

Fair comment. Do you know of any online forums for people that are enthused by dreadful cars?

[Cavcraft]

Fair comment. Do you know of any online forums for people that are enthused by dreadful cars?

[Skizzer]

We had the LOLlest collection thread in a while and pictures of a misery spec 309 - from where I’m sitting the only* thing we’ve missed out on is a petrol station shot.

 

You can feel unfulfilled**if you like, but I don’t see you have owt to apologise for.

 

 

 

 

*Oh, and a poo count, but that’s ok.

 

** This implies that a diesel 309 Zest was likely to leave you feeling fulfilled in the first place. That’s a bit of a leap, really.

[Jim Bell]

Not even a collection threads could be the next craze.

[Broadsword]

Shame the 309 was broken. I had seen it for sale a while back and thought it belonged on this forum.

[Talbot]

He's firm at what I offered (which was cheap)

Willing to divulge how much that was? The shaft seal on non-turbo injekshun pumps are easy to change with the pump in situ, and the O-rings are a standard component, so are pence from a bearing supplier. 309s are just about the cheapest motoring possible.

 

309 1.9D is a bit of an oddball as the 309 continued using the XUD9 square-port engine well into the 90s, whereas every other PSA product had moved on to the XUD9A Oval-Port engine by the latter part of the 80s.

[Jim Bell]

Willing to divulge how much that was? The shaft seal on non-turbo injekshun pumps are easy to change with the pump in situ, and the O-rings are a standard component, so are pence from a bearing supplier. 309s are just about the cheapest motoring possible.

 

309 1.9D is a bit of an oddball as the 309 continued using the XUD9 square-port engine well into the 90s, whereas every other PSA product had moved on to the XUD9A Oval-Port engine by the latter part of the 80s.

 

£500 with 67k on the clock and most of an MOT. 

[Talbot]

£500 with 67k on the clock and most of an MOT.

That are cheap. Seriously tempted. The pump repair would take minutes.

[fatharris]

Bummer man, looked a right cutie that.

[Jim Bell]

That are cheap. Seriously tempted. The pump repair would take minutes.

 

Can pm you the lads number if you're feel adventurous man. 

[richardmorris]

No need to apologise, disappointment is what we're all here for.

Disappointment is a step up from every day life for me.

[Fabergé Greggs]

A+ Form Jim Bells.

 

The disappointment is inconsequential

[brandersnatch]

Bloke I haven’t met hasn’t bought a car but has given me entertainment. I remain undisappointed.

 

 

One’s too many, ten’s not enough!

[richardmorris]

Definitely don't put CBT in Wikipedia and click on the result that says Cock & Ball Torture.

Just don't.

It takes all sorts as my gran used to say. I don’t judge, just wince.

[Jim Bell]

It takes all sorts as my gran used to say. 

 

 

Did she work at the Bassetts factory?

[richardmorris]

Did she work at the Bassetts factory?

No, but she was very grounded. Down to earth as they say. The only thing I think shocked her was Jim Bowen at the afternoon bingo one day. She walked out, but not before complaining to the management. Crude and rude she said.

[rainagain]

I changed the throttle o-rings on a Lucas pumped diesel clio. It was dead easy it went something like this

1. Disconnect throttle linkage

2. Remove small bolts holding top cover on

3. Lift the top cover up gently and disconnect linkage going to spindle

4. Remove spindle

5. Replace o-rings on spindle

6. Put back together

 

I had pics but I think photobucket has eaten them

[purplebargeken]

Fuggin' hel, I was going to say is it a Pug or a Citroen!!!!

 

By the way, I am that healthcare professional pictured earlier. Just greyer and with less hair, also a bit older. Otherwise, yes, it's me.

[Shirley Knott]

If this is what the future of chod purchasing looks like then count me in.

 

I seems to me that you've enjoyed all of the fun of the chase/planning elements and yet actually got to know what was really wrong with the car before you'd paid for it it and driven it home thus cutting out the misery/remorse element of the whole process. I can't decide whether it's witchcraft or cheating...

 

I'm impressed and have taken notes.

[rainagain]

I found one pic with the lid off, my memory must be going it looks like you don’t even need to disconnect the throttle spindle just remove the cover. You can see the two black o-rings on it in the pic.

[The Moog]

I arrived for the CBT

Stayed for the car

Then hung around the emergency exit waiting for Barry shit peas to sign my moobs after the disappointment

 

 

11/10 would get moobs signed again

[Christine]

If I removed the top cover of a diesel pump, I just know,  a pile of ball bearings and little springs and levers would fly out......  

[Shirley Knott]

If I removed the top cover of a diesel pump, I just know,  a pile of ball bearings and little springs and levers would fly out......  

 

This X1000.

 

I've owned multiple derv cars but never opened a diesel pump, life's too short.

[Maurice Marina]

No epic collection today. Just a run down the road and back. Hardly even worth putting your jacket on.

Screenshot_20190126-125215_Maps.jpg

For one awful moment I thought that was Sunderland.

[taxi paul]

Top thread. Informative and humerous. Would read again. I am still on my one car limit although the T5 volvo is really really stirring my loins. Stankys celica was mine and is a very fine car. Also have had a prelude, from our very own Bob the beard. My lad had a gold volvo which he sold local and has regretted ever since.

[Jim Bell]

Module 19.

 

Redemption.

 

Be aware that no matter how many set backs or failures you may suffer, there will always be people around you that will support you and who will offer you real and inexpensive options to improve your appropriately priced car lusting situation. This is true ESPECIALLY in a community such as ours.

 

Remember you are NOT alone and that there are more than enough people here that understand your compulsion who are happy to guide you safely.

 

 

See fig k9.

 

 

 

 

After being disappointed before the last planned collection, a rainbow developed over the site of my disappointment and on Wednesday coming I will head off toward a helpful, handsome shitter sat on a pot of gold at the far end of the Cresent stripes.

 

I will head north (the best direction), to pick up something neither shite nor auto.

 

It's -16 god damn degrees on the thermometers tonight. Hopefully the sun will shine again before mid week.