Piss poor spannering skills

[gadgetgricey]

Well my total lack of skills when it comes to looking after my car's hit a new high this afternoon...

 

I'll have a dabble at most things, safe in the knowledge that I've still got transport if I cock something up.

 

Today was not a serious problem as car was running, just the electric roof stopped working on the rover..

 

Two hours spent chasing relays, fuses, cleaning connections with no success.

Managed to trace a download of workshop bulletin, which listed what could cause problems.

 

Description before even got to the fault finding was.

 

Making sure engine on and running - check

And handbrake is on - Ah, shit........

 

Turns out as it's an Auto I'd put in in P but not put handbrake on so roof would not work.

 

2 hours to fix something that wasn't actually broken.

 

 

Just wondered if anyone else had had epic stupidity moments when it comes to their cars.

[Jim Bell]

Eh?!

Nobody puts the handbrake on when its an auto. Id never have guessed that either man. Not surprised it had you scratching your head.

[Floatylight]

MK3 Cavalier stripped down heater control panel to replace duff bulbs, had to take quite a bit of dash apart, put back together ignition on, heater controls work - check, hazard switch - check, radio - check, heated rear window- not working, strip down again, check connections, check fuses, clean connections in boot, much frustration realise only switches on when engine is running... Doh..

 

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

[GeordieInExile]

Rover 75 auto wouldn't start. Removed the starter motor, tested it -it worked fine, but I couldn't get it back in. Had it towed to a garage so they could have a look and refit my starter motor.

 

...Turned out I'd had it parked in drive and it wouldn't start in drive.

 

£150.

[AMC Rebel]

 

 

2 hours to fix something that wasn't actually broken.

 

 

Just wondered if anyone else had had epic stupidity moments when it comes to their cars.

 

Far too many to mention.

 

Eh?!

Nobody puts the handbrake on when its an auto. Id never have guessed that either man. Not surprised it had you scratching your head.

 

I do - we've had this debate eleventy million times.  I use the handbrake at traffic lights etc so as not to annoy/dazzle the poor bastard behind with the Jaaaags Laser LED brakelights.

[Jim Bell]

Far too many to mention.

 

 

I do - we've had this debate eleventy million times. I use the handbrake at traffic lights etc so as not to annoy/dazzle the poor bastard behind with the Jaaaags Laser LED brakelights.

You put the handbrake on with it in drive?!

Why wouldnt you just put it in P man?

[oldcars]

Almost 100% of what i do on the car alone does not work.

[AMC Rebel]

You put the handbrake on with it in drive?!

Why wouldnt you just put it in P man?

 

I take it you're kidding?

 

1.EVERY single handbook of EVERY auto car I have owned (and it's a lot) advocates this.

2.A bloke I knew who ran a business repairing auto transmissions specifically told me to do it.

3.If I put it in park I will give the poor git behind a flash of reverse lights which kind of negates the point of not dazzling them with my brake lights.

4.The clue is in the name P=Park I am not parked when awaiting a green traffic light.

 

Apart from that no reason.

[Guest Hooli]

 

 

1.EVERY single handbook of EVERY auto car I have owned (and it's a lot) advocates this.

 

 

Both Jags I've had say put it in N & use the handbrake, the Saab says leave it in D.

 

/2p worth

[omegod]

Saab 9000 wouldn't crank, called RAC who arrived and I then spotted it was in drive, popped it into park while he was tinkering in the engine bay and lo and behold it started, I had to heap fake praise on him rather than admit I had been a tit 

[AMC Rebel]

Both Jags I've had say put it in N & use the handbrake, the Saab says leave it in D.

 

/2p worth

 

Fair enough - I did a quick Google and amazingly even the Internet seems somewhat divided on this issue

[gadgetgricey]

Must admit, I normally knock it into "N" at traffic lights and hand brake on.

 

Always think that if I put in "P", then the driver behind gets a brief worry as the reversing lights flash on as you go through "R", and then back again.

[bolognasal spray]

Well my total lack of skills when it comes to looking after my car's hit a new high this afternoon...

 

I'll have a dabble at most things, safe in the knowledge that I've still got transport if I cock something up.

 

Today was not a serious problem as car was running, just the electric roof stopped working on the rover..

 

Two hours spent chasing relays, fuses, cleaning connections with no success.

Managed to trace a download of workshop bulletin, which listed what could cause problems.

 

Description before even got to the fault finding was.

 

Making sure engine on and running - check

And handbrake is on - Ah, shit........

 

Turns out as it's an Auto I'd put in in P but not put handbrake on so roof would not work.

 

2 hours to fix something that wasn't actually broken.

 

 

Just wondered if anyone else had had epic stupidity moments when it comes to their cars.

 

What I would've done -

 

The instant it didn't work, I would've sworn at it, hit it and hurt my hand, swore at it more loudly, then just ignored it in disgust - putting it down to "old" and "rover".

 

Then, next time I was out, I'd have forgotten about it - and pressed the relevant button. Roof would've worked. Then I remember it was broken, previously. So I think huh wow, cool - it's Christine regenerating!!!

 

Then I would've giggled briefly and awarded myself 5 humour points.

 

Some time later I would park, not put the handbrake on....annnnddd...press the sunroof button.

 

And thus the cycle of life would begin again.

[AMC Rebel]

Probably my "best" (but by no means the only) tale of my mad skillz invloved me giving my pal who knows zip about cars a lift in my Maxi (this was in about 1982)

 

I had just had to change the driveshaft on one side for one from a scrapper as the CV joint was worn out.

 

We were going along and there was a wanky noise - to me it sounded identical to the failing CV on the other side so I wanted to limp it home. 

 

He was insistent that the wheel was going to fall off, and remained remarkably calm when and it did and he simply announced in a deadpan voice "it's fallen off".

 

I had failed to tighten the wheelnuts after dropping the car back on the ground - what a tool.

 

Amazingly we managed to deploy the jack without the sills crumbling and fitted the spare, retrieved the missing wheel and drove home with only a mangled wing to show for my error.

[Guest Hooli]

Fair enough - I did a quick Google and amazingly even the Internet seems somewhat divided on this issue

 

Depends on the age of the box I think. Ones with computer trickery inside seem to drop into neutral by themselves where as older style boxes don't.

 

 

Anyway back to the thread...

 

I once went to flush the cooling system on a MG Midget using the handy big port sealed with a screwed in plug on the top of the heated inlet manifold. Unfortunately this led to the manifold not the cooling system. Taking the plugs out & cranking it it sprayed impressive jets of water over next door's drive! The lack of water in the oil proved it had good rings at least.

[New POD]

You put the handbrake on with it in drive?!

Why wouldnt you just put it in P man?

I put it in N and pull up the hand brake.

Pointless given that it failed the MOT on just that.

[Faker]

Octavia windscreen washers stopped working... quick Google... pump at fault... quite a bit of stripping involved to get at the pump... liners and undertrays etc.. brand new pump fitted and.... still no water. Turns out the reverse side of both jets was blocked..

[Jim Bell]

I take it you're kidding?

 

1.EVERY single handbook of EVERY auto car I have owned (and it's a lot) advocates this.

2.A bloke I knew who ran a business repairing auto transmissions specifically told me to do it.

3.If I put it in park I will give the poor git behind a flash of reverse lights which kind of negates the point of not dazzling them with my brake lights.

4.The clue is in the name P=Park I am not parked when awaiting a green traffic light.

 

Apart from that no reason.

Fair enough. Ive never had a auto with a decent handbrake so never really trusted them.

 

I can say that I have learned something today.

 

 

Which is handy because Im buying another auto on monday.

[bramz7]

Paid to get the boot release looked at and sorted on the 164 as it wouldn't release with the car running.

 

Get it back and remembered it had never worked with the car running. It only opens with the ignition off.

[gadgetgricey]

Which is handy because Im buying another auto on monday.

 

Do tell

[Jim Bell]

Do tell

 

Thats a story for Monday.

[omegod]

Further fuckuppery: I took a focus in px against a Citroen C1, buyer was planning on scrapping what was a very clean car due to a noise from the engine so I offered him £100 which he was happy with, I diagnosed the idler pulley being shot and attempted to change it, allen bolt rounded out so had to resort to grinding the bastard off in very tight confines, took hours and nearly lost a finger or two, all back together aaaaand exactly the fucking same it was the bastard belt tensioner pulley that was noisy 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

 

 

 

You put the handbrake on with it in drive?!

Why wouldnt you just put it in P man?

 

I take it you're kidding?

 

1.EVERY single handbook of EVERY auto car I have owned (and it's a lot) advocates this.

2.A bloke I knew who ran a business repairing auto transmissions specifically told me to do it.

3.If I put it in park I will give the poor git behind a flash of reverse lights which kind of negates the point of not dazzling them with my brake lights.

4.The clue is in the name P=Park I am not parked when awaiting a green traffic light.

 

Apart from that no reason.

 

Both Jags I've had say put it in N & use the handbrake, the Saab says leave it in D.

 

/2p worth

 

Must admit, I normally knock it into "N" at traffic lights and hand brake on.

 

Always think that if I put in "P", then the driver behind gets a brief worry as the reversing lights flash on as you go through "R", and then back again.

 

When I had a ZF 4HP22, I always switched to "N" when waiting at traffic lights or just sitting in traffic. I'd only use the handbrake if the traffic stop was on a gradient.

 

I've used exactly the same tactic with the 3HP22, well, until the clutch packs and fluid started burning.

[rainagain]

I was cleaning the inside of the OH’s Tucson, it was hot so I had the windows down. Once all clean I went to put the windows up and only the drivers’s was working. Went into the house to get my volt meter and I start checking the fuses. I halfway through removing the window switch panel when I noticed I had hit the kid button which disables all the windows but the drivers. I quietly put it all back together and told the OH it was a bad connection but I’d fixed it.

[petermcpete]

The clutch on the Porsche 924s I'd just bought wouldn't engage. I thought it was a problem with the actual clutch plate mechanism, so took it apart (gearbox, drivetrain out etc).

Took me a few weeks and turned out it was actually just the slave cylinder - an hour job and about £50. Oops...!

[mercrocker]

Can't think of any particular example at the mo, but more than once I have had this uneasy feeling that I have replaced major components because of an incorrectly-diagnosed fault in a much smaller and less expensive part......

[adw1977]

I once painstakingly removed a door card, taking great care not to lose any of the little fixings or damage any of the plastic bits that had to levered off, then realised that the problem I was preparing to fix was on a different door.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

.... more than once I have had this uneasy feeling that I have replaced major components because of an incorrectly-diagnosed fault in a much smaller and less expensive part......

 

[SiC]

I take it you're kidding?

 

1.EVERY single handbook of EVERY auto car I have owned (and it's a lot) advocates this.

2.A bloke I knew who ran a business repairing auto transmissions specifically told me to do it.

3.If I put it in park I will give the poor git behind a flash of reverse lights which kind of negates the point of not dazzling them with my brake lights.

4.The clue is in the name P=Park I am not parked when awaiting a green traffic light.

 

Apart from that no reason.

Do that in a DSG box, the majority of fully automated manual cars or a CVT box and you'll fuck up and burn out the clutches in no time at all. A torque converter auto should be fine doing it though as not a lot of difference between foot brake and handbrake holding it mechanically. However many modern TC equipped boxes will knock it into neutral if you hold on the brake in drive to save fuel - but won't with the handbrake on.

[Zelandeth]

Spent a not insignificant amount of time trying to work out why the stereo I'd just fitted to my Renault 11 wasn't working the following morning.

 

...The battery still being attached to the charger in the bedroom had a lot to do with it, it turned out.