Sold Mercedes roffle **collected**

[Jim Bell]

Have you ever clapped eyes on a woman (or a man) and just wanted them even though you knew that you were no good for each other?

 

Well I havnt.

 

But it happens with cars all the time.

 

When I saw BourniteIdentity selling a green Merc with THOSE wheel trims, I was immediately smitten. Then immediately sad because I couldnt have it.

 

You cant win them all - me dad used to say.

 

He was sometimes right.

[SRi05]

God speed sir, God speed. I gave her a quick blast round the block last night just to make sure she'd start after sitting in the cold for over a week, I was overcome with emulsion.

[loserone]

Less of the HGF jokes plz

[Jim Bell]

I woke up this morning.

(Blues riff)

Ready to rock.

(Blues riff)

Shocked awake by a hairy alarm clock!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Im just a north travelin Autoshitter, with no car to call my own.

 

Going to get one now though, and I aint not on my own.

 

BLUES SOLO.

[SRi05]

I hope the dog is coming along

[Jim Bell]

Okden. Lez doodis.

 

Roffle car for roffle prize roffle collection?

 

Roffleception.

 

 

 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In motion.

 

Poop count : 0.

 

Theres a long day yet though.

 

 

[Jim Bell]

Big station is big.

 

 

Big train is big.

 

 

 

 

 

Choo choo. Heading north at speed.

 

Time for a Greggs.

[fatharris]

Godspeed, chod lover.

 

Jealous as balls of you for this.

 

Sent from my ONEPLUS A3003 using Tapatalk

[Jim Bell]

 

Nice day for it though.

[Kiltox]

Is Mercedes Ben the daughter of Uncle Ben?

[Jim Bell]

Not sure about this lad mind. He was staring at my breakfast before there.

 

[Jim Bell]

Aproaching the wall.

 

 

Hallooooooo Scatland!

[Jim Bell]

I hope the dog is coming along

Nee way. Shes lazy as a french builder.

[Jim Bell]

Is Mercedes Ben the daughter of Uncle Ben?

Possibilly.

[loserone]

Wheeze well north of the wall w^2, some bugger put the wall a bit south of the border. Because borders folk are hard as well as Scots

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Is that a freshly shaved Pat Phelan on deh train m8?

[Jim Bell]

Wheeze well north of the wall w^2, some bugger put the wall a bit south of the border. Because borders folk are hard as well as Scots

I must admit, it was before my time.

[primeradoner]

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In motion.

 

Poop count : 0.

 

 

I am confused. These statements contradict each other

[Jim Bell]

I am confused. These statements contradict each other

Give me 20 mins and Ill DO an update.

[320touring]

Chod speed lads!

[barefoot]

I iz excite

[loserone]

Update pending, i'd say.

[Jim Bell]

Update: someone knocked on the door and I couldnt go.

[primeradoner]

Update: someone knocked on the door and I couldnt go.

Didnt think that you would have suffered from stage fright

[Jim Bell]

Auld reekie achieved.

Or Edinburgh anyway. I dont speak much of the lingo north of the wall/border. No sqwere sosijis spootid as yit.

 

 

 

 

Smaller train is smaller.

 

 

 

 

Now officially heading westways. Slightly delayed but the skys are blue, the air is crisp and Im full of home made chicken tikka pasty.

 

Life is good.

[Jim Bell]

Didnt think that you would have suffered from stage fright

Occasionaly. Also I think I ate too many eggs yesterday. Is six too many?

[inconsistant]

Top tip: Build up to your first poo with some smooth delightful farting.

[Jim Bell]

As me and L1 have parted ways for the moment, Ill fill some traveling time reviewing some of the entertainment cubicles encountered thus far today.

 

Thats right, its the return of ShitAdvisor .

 

 

Situated in central Newcastle, the public conveniences at the end of platform 11 and well appointed but just enough off the beaten track that you may enjoy a greater degree of privacy when compared to the main and more popular facilities accross the bridge.

 

There was provided toilet paper of a pleasant enough grade and weight, certainly suitable for its expected application today. The door lock functioned faultlessly but I must deduct points for the bitter cold. There is clearly too much gap between the door bottom and the floor, which allows stiff wind from the platforms to sweep up into the sitting space.

 

 

 

The toilet was not clean. I am blameless in this regard as I consumed what must have been too many eggs yesterday and am bound firmly.

 

Outcome: was worth a try. Presented but refused at the first hurdle.

 

3 out of 5 stars.

 

 

[Jim Bell]

.