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Jim Bell

Mercedes roffle **collected**

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Have you ever clapped eyes on a woman (or a man) and just wanted them even though you knew that you were no good for each other?


Well I havnt.


But it happens with cars all the time.


When I saw BourniteIdentity selling a green Merc with THOSE wheel trims, I was immediately smitten. Then immediately sad because I couldnt have it.


You cant win them all - me dad used to say.


He was sometimes right.

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I woke up this morning.

(Blues riff)

Ready to rock.

(Blues riff)

Shocked awake by a hairy alarm clock!








Im just a north travelin Autoshitter, with no car to call my own.


Going to get one now though, and I aint not on my own.



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Auld reekie achieved.

Or Edinburgh anyway. I dont speak much of the lingo north of the wall/border. No sqwere sosijis spootid as yit.






Smaller train is smaller.






Now officially heading westways. Slightly delayed but the skys are blue, the air is crisp and Im full of home made chicken tikka pasty.


Life is good.

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As me and L1 have parted ways for the moment, Ill fill some traveling time reviewing some of the entertainment cubicles encountered thus far today.


Thats right, its the return of ShitAdvisor .



Situated in central Newcastle, the public conveniences at the end of platform 11 and well appointed but just enough off the beaten track that you may enjoy a greater degree of privacy when compared to the main and more popular facilities accross the bridge.


There was provided toilet paper of a pleasant enough grade and weight, certainly suitable for its expected application today. The door lock functioned faultlessly but I must deduct points for the bitter cold. There is clearly too much gap between the door bottom and the floor, which allows stiff wind from the platforms to sweep up into the sitting space.




The toilet was not clean. I am blameless in this regard as I consumed what must have been too many eggs yesterday and am bound firmly.


Outcome: was worth a try. Presented but refused at the first hurdle.


3 out of 5 stars.




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