What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[michiel]

Northern Lights -> Northern Lites -> SFA ->

[Guest]

 

Getting the Amazon into this tiny space in the unit cheered me up for several reasons. It took me about an hour inching it in without scuffing and buggering everything else up.

 

1. It's now on holiday for 2 weeks amid some epic shite (not all of it mine).

 

2. It's out of the wank weather we're having.

 

3. I finally managed to prove SCTSH_ANDY wrong after trying for 6 years in every context I can think of. He said it wouldn't fit, and that my idea was 'shite'.

 

It did take me fsking AGES to get it in though. Looking at the photo it doesn't look that difficult to move in. What you can't see is the area directly behind where I was standing when this photo was taken. There's a fooking massive twin axle trailer that the lads across from us have chained to a concreted post.

 

Also, the 9000 is a non runner. As is the 405, and the Cortina (well, it does run, but doesn't hold its water because of core plug cockmanglery).

 

So, to get it in, I had to shove the 9000 forward by hand. They're heavy bastards to begin with. Not only that, but SCTSH_ANDY has filled his with spares and general shit because he's going to strip it, sell off all the bits and lob the engine in his Carlsson. And then weigh what's left of the shell in.

 

I had to create the space where the Amazon currently is sitting. I also had to go within a gnat's cock of the shutter pillar on the left. I then had to shove the 405 forward (into the fridge) and push the Cortina backwards without nerfing Mark's van to create enough room to angle it in from where the trailer was parked behind. That the Amazon has a ridiculously tight turning circle helped rather a lot.

 

There's about half an inch to spare on either side. I get in and out through the NS rear passenger door. The Amazon has a mega long travel clutch that's either on or off, so delicate movements are not the easiest thing to do without lots of revs and physical exertion (no PAS).

 

Anyway it's in and dry so hahahahahahahaha fuck off SCTSH_ANDY blah blah. I proceeded to ring Mark (reanimation) when I managed it and jibbered on at him and Mrs_reanimation like a fucking idiot for about half an hour. I think it probably has something to do with the fact that I couldn't do it on Tuesday because of the CUNTEEN_SANDWICH_BLEUGH_UNPLEASANTNESS because my arse was like a ball bearing from all the shitting and I was still ill.

 

I don't know why I'm so pleased about it TBH. But it makes me happy, so that has to be a bonus.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Filled in for my mate last night, DJing at a swedish bar in town. Been awhile since i've played records in public so that was nice enough, but on top I got a free meal of delicious grilled pork belly, free beer all night (Tuborg, top scando beer that I haven't drunk since I was in Iceland) and a bonus tenner at the end of the night! So i've been to the pub twice this week, and each time I've actually managed to make money.... quality!

I do a bit of DJing myself (just been asked to play at local Polski bar with lovely barmaids, but I digress) - what sort of music do you play Mr Barrett?

[barrett]

Well that night was specifically prog/ jazzrock (GR6 for pulling birds), but I used to do a post-punk/DIY night a few years ago with some mates, playing Fall, Josef K, Orange Juice-type stuff. Also done a couple of more funk/soul orientated things. Trouble with Brighton is that everyone is a 'DJ' and it's hard to get a decent permanant spot anywhere. My best mate has just started up an afrobeat/jungle funk themed thing though,which should be a giggle.

[Station]

[Station]

Thought this was funny, if you look closely:

 

[chaseracer]

 

Getting the Amazon into this tiny space in the unit cheered me up for several reasons...

 

I don't know why I'm so pleased about it TBH. But it makes me happy, so that has to be a bonus.

Good enough reason in itself, I'd say

[meggersdog]

Should be in the grumpy thread but the utter incompetance of this fool made me smile (eventually)So this afternoon I get a call from a mate.He did a car boot sale this morning about 20 miles away and went in a car that hadn't run for six months.The battery isn't holding enough charge so after he's packed up it won't start.He phones a mate of his to come and give him a jump-start.His mate promptly turns up in a knackered Clio.Yeah a Renault with plastic covers and plastic nuts on the battery terminals.I don't know what they did but now the Clio has got no spark.So that's two cars in a field 20 odd miles away that don't start and the field owner wants to lock the gate.Matey then phones me to get them both going.Erm actually just to jump-start them.I've only got the Halford's advanced socket set and a straight towing bar in the car so after finding no spark and wriggling a few wires I hooked the Clio up to the towing bar and we all set off home.Every time I slowed down this fooking idiot in the Clio pulls out into the middle of the road.Well you can't see much behind a Discovery so I suppose he was being nosey.Now the Clio has only got a towing eye on the passengers side so the bar is attached to my nearside towing eye.It's just a simple two hook bar so each time he does this the angle is straining the towing eyes.Sometimes he would be weaving side to side quite severely.I'd see him in my door mirror grinning like the fooking village idiot he is.Anyway what made me laugh was this...all this twattery had weakened his towing eye which promptly snapped four miles from his house.I slowed to a stop then felt a bump as idiot features used my towbar to stop.The force pushed his bumper up flicking the headlight glass off which then smashed on the road.Towed him back with a rope chuckling to myself all the way.The bloke is a fecking liability.

[Inspector Morose]

Sorry for the non car relatedness of it but I'm starting to re love Zappa big time.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xa4uv9 ... _lifestyle

[RedSparrow]

Yup, it's called the Northern Lights ( ), it's just opposite the town hall, near Dr.Brightons. Chap who runs it is a top bloke, food is amazing.http://www.northernlightsbrighton.co.uk//plug

Weird coincidence-My mates bird is Finnish, we all went and stayed in a cabin in Finland for new years, it was great.While I was there I discovered Hartwells Gin and Grapefruit long drink which they sell on tap in bars. Lovely stuff.Anyway, I found the only places that sell it in Britain are in Brighton (northern lights) and London. I am over in Hastings so I'm already planning a trip over to that bar soon!

[Tayne]

.

[RedSparrow]

Britain's Hardest-It's fucking hilarious! Fucking meatheads!

[barrett]

Weird coincidence-My mates bird is Finnish, we all went and stayed in a cabin in Finland for new years, it was great.While I was there I discovered Hartwells Gin and Grapefruit long drink which they sell on tap in bars. Lovely stuff.Anyway, I found the only places that sell it in Britain are in Brighton (northern lights) and London. I am over in Hastings so I'm already planning a trip over to that bar soon!

Gis a shout when you're popping down and i'll come out for a couple and have a good old chinwag about shite, if ya fancy

[Quintus]

In an effort to illustrate the current big news story, BBC news showed a picture the other night of Brown, Cameron and Clegg, all looking suitably serious, with the caption 'Hung Parliament'. I thought this looked like an advert for the most solemn, depressing and weird porn film ever made.Maybe I just need to get out more...

[Minimad5]

Quintus ! The randomness of Autoshite !Love It

[Quintus]

I find that the Finbarr Saunders portion of my brain often takes over at the most inappropriate moments. Sometimes it's the only way to get through the day!

 

organ

 

wet pussy

 

pearl necklace

 

etc

[Cavcraft]

[MrDuke]

I hardly ever have really vivid, surreal dreams any more - they're either too vague to recall, or depressingly dull and lifelike.Last night, for reasons unknown, I had a utterly legendary one, involving a road-trip to a car show along motorways that had inexplicably been re-surfaced as dirt-racing tracks. On the way, we stopped at my parents' local newsagents, and on the shelf was... wait for it... Issue number 1 of a new, home-printed retro car magazine entitled "DeathTrap", with a mint 2cv van emblazoned on the cover. I remember feeling utter delight at having found one, and didn't think twice about handing over around £8.50 for it. Inside were mainly photo-copied sheets of the editor's inane ramblings about various shite.Is my subconscious trying to point me towards a whole new avenue of creative talent? Or should I just watch my dairy intake before bed?

[dollywobbler]

Thanks Billy. I've just had a large dose of PMSL.

[ashmicro]

Duke, that's a winner!What is making me smile et the moment is taht the Mrs has just arrived home with 40 Dunhill and a litre of vodka. She has said, and I quote "I fucking love you, even though you're a dickhead"

[Pete-M]

Just been fiddling with the SD1 again and this rather well spoken chap with two of those huge poodle type dogs (Can't remember the name of 'em) wanders up to me and that he's just bought an 820 Vitesse with 10k miles on the clock "Off that ebay, from Devon, couldn't complain at £1300 though".

 

He then went on to list all the cars he's had, and the ones he's got. All Rovers. 40 odd years worth. Told me bits about the 1951 gas turbine car, his old P4 110 and a few other odds and sods. Seemed like a nice enough chap.

 

He then wandered off, calling his dogs as he went "C'mon Jet, C'mon Rover"

 

Had to chuckle.

 

Oh, found this as well. SD1 doing an emergency run across London. GR9 for shite spottage.

[Tayne]

.

[Inspector Morose]

my two cats.....Sorry you've just got to be here...

[trigger]

Billy, That is funny as hell, I'm looking at my own Henry now pissing myself!

Oh, found this as well. SD1 doing an emergency run across London. GR9 for shite spottage.

I remember seeing that on a Police Camera Action special once, That's a great video, Right up there with the Range Rover one.Some class tat as well!

[Richard]

two of those huge poodle type dogs (Can't remember the name of 'em)

Standard poodles?

[retrogeezer]

For once, the weather forecast is right and it's a lovely day....Cholmondeley Castle here we come!

[mattblack]

pearl necklace

That reminds of the time about 6 of us were sitting in the canteen at the place I used to work, when one bloke (who was a bit 'inoccent') anounced that he was going to give his wife a pearl necklace for christmas... cue 5 blokes pissing themselves laughing, and 1 looking totaly bewildered...

[trigger]

For once, the weather forecast is right and it's a lovely day....Cholmondeley Castle here we come!

It's not here, it's still crap, I'm gutted as I was planning on going to Battlesbridge car show, I might still go and just take a packamac.

[Angrydicky]

For once, the weather forecast is right and it's a lovely day....Cholmondeley Castle here we come!

It's not here, it's still crap, I'm gutted as I was planning on going to Battlesbridge car show, I might still go and just take a packamac.

Doesn't seem to be raining here, I'd be surprised if it's raining at Battlesbridge Check your PM's Trig!

[Station]

Issue number 1 of a new, home-printed retro car magazine entitled "DeathTrap"