What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[mat_the_cat]

My other half IS my finance for a newer car, as of today. I don't know whether to be pleased or disappointed!

[gordonbennet]

Just out of interest like, how is it that every woman I have ever known/married has hated older cars and just wants a modern thingy on finance.

Grumble......

 

SWMBO has the the right priorities, nothing on tick (everything owned nobody got you by the bollocks), hates new cars, hates depreciation, likes bigger engines and proper auto boxes.

And she wears the kit and no she's not for sale..

[dollywobbler]

Similarly, Mrs DW cannot abide modern cars or the world of finance. The only grump she has about old cars is that she gets used to a car usually just before I sell it. Fair to say that both sexes get seduced by finance for cars. I certainly did back in the day. It was actually a previous girlfriend who introduced me to the idea of saving up for a car. Novel. Sadly, I never get much beyond 'a few hundred quid' which is enough to buy all manner of old shite. So I do.

[Cavcraft]

My missus is ace when it comes to my old shit cars, but she's not having me getting a new or nearly new car on finance. I found an ace Fiat 500 yesterday for a very good price, but I just got that look that women give. No words were needed.

[daveb47]

Dead Crows

 

Researchers for the Ministry of Transport found over 200 dead crows near Greater Manchester
recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and to everyone's relief,
confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.
The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on
the bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the
crows had been killed by impact with lorries, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
The Ministry of Transport then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a
cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviourist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill,
they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah".
Not a single one could shout "Lorry."

[messerschmitt owner]

an inconsiderate, rude litter bug has dumped an empty corona bottle on my wall. It's the annoying problem of living next to a bus stop with a wall you can sit on.

 

Then, the reason for the grin, I noticed the bag ...

 

Four full bottles of Corona - yippee!

[cort16]

My Mrs won't get in any of my old bangers as she's been mentally scared by historical breakdown events.

[DVee8]

Mrs V8 likes her new 4x4 which is a newer version of the last 4x4,it suits our needs.She isn't bothered what i have as long as it has some were to park up/store.

[Ratdat]

Mrs Ratdat wouldn't entertain the idea of a new car no more than I would. She actually WANTS to drive something old but at present can't really go for something as old as she'd like (60's) due to her mileage going to work. That said she did used to do 50 miles each way to work a few years back in a '72 Datsun 1200 coupe. She's also had a Wolseley 1300, Mk1 Honda Civic and a Datsun 100a as dailys in the past.

[vulgalour]

Mrs Ratdat does appear to be a singular lady of excellent taste.

 

Dad's Omega goes to pastures new in a few days so I had to act quickly!  On the pretext of putting new valve caps on the Xantia (which I did, so the story is watertight), I made use of one of Mr Shitpeas' stickers.  It's a bumper sticker on an actual bumper.

 

 

It's very likely that Dad will never even notice.

[Bobthebeard]

I realise that this kind of thing has appeared previously, but couldn't resist.

Bought a bar of peanut brittle today, nom nom.

On the wrapper:

 

"Ingredients. 67% peanuts.

WARNING. May contain peanuts.

Do not consume if allergic to peanuts"

 

Now if you were allergic to peanuts, why would you buy a bar of peanut brittle? Also why say 'may contain peanuts' when clearly it contains 67%.....

Just wondered like.

[willswitchengage]

Your Mondeo TDCi Econetic just doesn't have the same sense of occasion when you start it:

 

[vulgalour]

That helicopter is febrile and terrifying looking in equal measure.

 

EDIT: in fact, it's the opposite of Airwolf.  Do you remember the Airwolf theme tune?  You're welcome.

[spike60]

My sons' Mondeo produced as much smoke and took about as long to get out of bed as the helicopter, no flames though, mores the pity.

[trigger]

Now here's a funny thing, Can you remember Aled's old Celica that he bought?.

 

http://autoshite.com/topic/5194-toyota-calica-2000st-work-started/

 

If you remember it ended up on ebay for ages having been resprayed after he sold it.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1982-Toyota-Celica-ST-/271297766147?nma=true&si=kMahXtjX9GHdnaYK%252ByJIKcs7dtw%253D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

 

Well i only drove passed it coming pass my house about 20 minutes ago! What a small world!, The bodywork didn't look too good though.

[HMC]

My Mrs won't get in any of my old bangers as she's been mentally scared by historical breakdown events.

Similar issues here, though the trust is being built back gradually. Rock bottom was a volvo amazon earlier last year.

[HillmanImp]

I took Mrs Imp for her first drive in the GT6 yesterday. Got about 400 metres and the rotor arm came off rather noisily infront of a lot of people and it was suggested that we head back home instead even after I had got it running again.

 

She was okay getting in the Visa today on a 150 mile trip round north yorkshire like but suspect she might need some convincing to coax back in the Triumph.

[dome]

Loving the helishite. I hope he didn't try to fly it...

[cort16]

I once got a grand total of 7 feet from the front of the house before breaking down on the way to a car show. She just went back inside and watched Monsters Inc on the TV and refused to come back out again while I tried to jump start the giant yellow w116 Mercedes 350v8 with her 900cc Fiat Seicento.

[chaseracer]

Delivering subversive political literature earlier under cover of bright sunshine, what should I espy but a D-reg Senator 2.5 mk1.

 

No phone so no pics. Sorry.

[Pillock]

EDIT: in fact, it's the opposite of Airwolf. Do you remember the Airwolf theme tune? You're welcome.

AAAAARGH.

[Bucketeer]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/danieldalton/shakespeare-movies-improved-by-danny-dyer?s=mobile

 

Pwopa Noughty!

 

Dyer/dire tweets too.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/elliewoodward/most-danny-dyer-tweets-of-all-time

 

Example - 'Well that was weird. Found a lovely pond/lake not a fucking duck in sight. Maybe they was shy . . . . . or maybe they was arrogant . . . . . . . pricks.'

[mat_the_cat]

Nearly 10 years ago when we moved to Wales, we hired a newish Mk6 Transit luton van from a local company. The guy that we dealt with had suddenly been thrust into running the company after his Dad had a sudden heart attack, but seemed to be coping OK.

 

Fast forward to now and my work needs to hire a van for a few weeks to move all the equipment to the new site. So I give them a ring - not only are they still going (business was apparently pretty shaky for a while) but they said I could hire the exact same van we had previously, which I picked up this morning. Although it's gone from being pride of the fleet to the oldest, with a horrible vibration at 50+ mph. Still, made me grin!

[DVee8]

The theme tune to Airwolf is my ringtone has been for the last couple of years

[MrDuke]

 they said I could hire the exact same van we had previously, which I picked up this morning.

 

Either they have an excellent computer database, or they've been woefully short of business (and social contact) for the past 10 years.

[mat_the_cat]

They didn't look up my details, but he asked whether I'd used them before (my name rang a bell) and I could remember the van was a 52 plate - turned out they still had it. It's only a small firm with maybe 5-6 vans for hire, so he knew it must have been the same one although I'm amazed that they'd keep one that long! Think I was one of the first customers after he took over so maybe I stuck in his mind?

[MrDuke]

You must have just been incredibly memorable then. Did you leave any bloodstains or restraining equipment in the van when you gave it back?

[Cavcraft]

How many people with the surname 'The Cat' do you know?

[DeeJay]

Felix

[Negative Creep]

Saw 3 police cars turn up to arrest a couple of scrotes, then have to call for another wagon as they couldn't get their Transit's rear doors open