What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[MrDuke]

In that case, bonus points if you paint each of them a (different) colour which is neither pale green nor metallic blue.

[vulgalour]

I may paint them green, but not the same green on both and not the same green as the car.  I've still got most of a tin of Applejack, that's green.

[DeeJay]

I vote for purple.

[vulgalour]

Speaking of purple, I priced up getting the Princess temporarily vinyl wrapped for when I've got the minor bodywork repairs done after getting an offer of help from someone that knows how to fit it properly.  It's really not a lot of money either, cheaper than just about any other option and a great way to get quick results and smarten her up a bit for a year or two while I save up for something more permanent.

[Des]

Hairdrier + £6 worth of Poundland vinyl and you could do it yourself, long as you don't mind the woodgrain look.

[Bucketeer]

Or a gallon of Gentian violet and a BFO cotton bud to apply it with.

[catsinthewelder]

A grin for everyone except Billy

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iraq/10629543/Iraqi-suicide-bombing-instructor-accidentally-kills-himself-and-pupils.html

[Cavcraft]

Bastards! I hope the only Mecca they get to visit is a bingo hall in Bridlington.

[skattrd]

I have just been offered a contract (job) which I have accepted.

The real grin is, that I should be spending most of the next few months working in various European cities with some former colleagues who are also good mates.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

VIDEO GAMES



This is FORD SIMULATOR II (can't find version one) dating from 1989. It's a goldmine of facts, figures and fun in every section of the program! Not only do you get to learn about the whole 1989 Ford Range (right the way from Festiva to Lincoln MK VII LC) but you'll get actual demonstrations of anti lock brakes, airbags, the nine speaker JBL audio system and more! But that's not everything, you can even go on a virtual test drive in a number of exciting locations!

There's even this rather neat comparison tool so you can compare two different trim levels, or, if you can't make up your mind what to buy, compare two different vehicles:



But let's leave the boring spec sheets alone and wander into the virtual showroom.



You might say these graphics are primitive, but I can't say I've ever seen 'grim' portrayed so perfectly. I think it is supposed to display the vehicle's name in that black box, but this is a Ford Aerostar Eddie Bauer if you didn't guess from the distinctive colour scheme. 



Should we keep looking at these sensible vehicles? Nah, hell with that, let's look at a more exotic import:



That's more like it! Bet it's plush inside, can't wait to see!



Wow, look at that. If you can be bothered to set up Mini vMac it's worth running this game just to see the animated seat adjustment. Actually, no, the best part is certainly the attempt to demonstrate the difference between two speaker and nine speaker stereo systems using tinny bleeps.

And with the virtual test drive you don't even have to leave your house to enjoy the latest Ford. This is test track mode. Once you've got the hang of this, you can drive through downtown, the airport, or just through the countryside. 



The driving game is surprisingly playable, if a bit dull. The promised multiple locations are nothing more than a different backdrop on the same bit of road, and the difficulty level only alters how much you are penalised for wandering off the road or running into the back of an SUV.  It's not a great ad for Ford that both the speedo and tacho in their demo vehicle don't work. 

Verdict:


(you have to print this out and post it to them)

[face]

That is FUCKING ACE!

[vulgalour]

You have printed that out and posted it to them I hope.  The pictures are amazing, some real skill on display there.

[fordperv]

i was in tesco earlier, i came over all juvenile and spelled a rude word with the herbs

 

[quicksilver]

Oh wow, I remember having that Ford simulator on one of our early computers when I was little! I'd forgotten all about its epic black and white graphics and animations. It wasn't the most interesting program and I'm pretty sure all the cars drove exactly the same on the test track.

[fordperv]

You are Partridge and ICMFP.

 

 

no just a manchild, i was about to spell cock but there wasnt a k   

[vulgalour]

Because Bedford VAL was mentioned I went on a Google and found what, at a quick glance, looks like the worlds most optimistic camper van ever conceived.

 

[Junkman]

26 Vary Good Reasons Ta Fall In Luv Wivv A Narfana:

 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/very-good-reasons-to-fall-in-love-with-a-northerner

[trigger]

Junkmans attempt at writing an advert back in the 60's.

 

[MrDuke]

^^^ Can't be, it doesn't mention that they don't sell anything designed after 1934.

[beko1987]

Getting excited about my drive to Nottingham this weekend! Havent been on a good road trip for ages!

[cms206]

HI M8 2 MNY WEALS UR DOIN IT RONG

[r.welfare]

The Service Garage Pangbourne is now a Lamborghini and Bentley dealer!

[Pillock]

My effort, a while back.

[Bobthebeard]

My effort, a while back.

The possibilities are endless.... Lovely!

[dollywobbler]

Our local newspaper (The Cambrian News) thought the idea of getting married and having Skodas as wedding cars was so ridiculous that they printed this story on page 4! Spot DaveRapid of this parish. Was a nightmare trying to organise that little gathering of cars in a howling gale. I'm quite pleased with how it came out (especially as there is a blue Ford Focus just out of shot that was right in the sodding way!).

 

By the way, my favourite headline in this rag so far (excluding the various 'vehicle slightly damaged' tales in every issue) is 'Camouflage Net Stolen.'

[fordperv]

My effort, a while back.

 

i was looking for garlic but there wasnt any there   i was going to arrange them to spell bigtits as well, didnt think of adding the dd at the time but theres always next time 

[Cavcraft]

Lead balloon time. My lad has been trawling new/used car lots the last couple of days and took some persuading that Landrover would just laugh at him if he tried to score an Evoque (or whatever they're called) on finance, so he went to a few other dealers instead. 

Went with him this afters to a BM garage, he was quite taken by a new 118 (1.6 petrol, I think) but no amount of 'future value' bollocks was going to help, as he didn't fancy having to cough up £10,000 (or whatever) in four years time, or give it back.

So, on to everyone's favourite brand dealer 1/4 mile down the road and (finance acceptance aside) has put his name down for this (ear muffs/swear filter/flame proof suit donned) 

 

 

1.2, yo!

 

 

[fordperv]

^ a lad at work who has only passed his test a couple of months had a 1.2 spesh edishion from arnie clarks and his insurance has halved from what he was paying on his tatty punto, its nippier as well

[vulgalour]

Cavcraft financing the shite of today so you can afford the shite of yesterday, tomorrow.  Probably.

[Cavcraft]

I think his insurance is £820 fully comp, not too bad I think.