What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Jamie]

13 minutes ago, SiC said:

Sausage and meatballs surely?

Everything has its price 

[hairnet]

meat pie, sausage roll........

oh wait thats oldham

 

[hairymel]

4 hours ago, Fumbler said:

200 amps. Ha ha ha haaaaa......
.... research ...

Guess you have already found out that generally these type of Chinesium 200a inverters are not bad for the money as long as you factor in that the display shows about twice the actual current. And of course the 200a rating is nearer 100a.

[MarvinsMom]

21 hours ago, xtriple said:

I just heard of a car company that has recently set up a plant in China to make one specific model. All the cars have certain tolerences by design but apparently some have been 'pushed' a bit... to the extent that certain parts (namely headlights) from a UK built car will not fit the exact same car being built by the same company in a new factory in that there China.

thats gotta be JLR - some of their bits made in this country don't fit on cars assembled in this country!

[Wack]

6 hours ago, Rovorsche said:

Tesco Insurance are CUNTS!

My Mother In Law stayed with them for Ten years, and was paying £650 for a 1.4 seat, the yearly increments were excessive but affordable to her.

Switched to RAC for £280 including breakdown cover and hasnt looked back.

They all are, my dad was with the same company for decades , they were charging him over £600 , I got it for less than 50%  of that

Didn't go so well though , 18 months later he rang me up , who was that insurance with , I can't find the certificate and I need to tax my car 

That's when I found out it hadn't auto renewed and he'd been driving with no insurance for 6 months 

Oops 

[Jamie]

21 minutes ago, hairnet said:

meat pie, sausage roll........

oh wait thats oldham

 

Im in Rochdale so pretty accurate to be fair 

[Timewaster]

22 hours ago, xtriple said:

I just heard of a car company that has recently set up a plant in China to make one specific model. All the cars have certain tolerences by design but apparently some have been 'pushed' a bit... to the extent that certain parts (namely headlights) from a UK built car will not fit the exact same car being built by the same company in a new factory in that there China.

A friend of mine worked in his dad's business selling industrial machines. 

Manufacturing by contractors in China, they would produce the first batch perfectly. 

Then gradually the spec began to drift. 

Titanium fixings became stainless, stainless fittings became mild. 

Non vital components start to disappear. 

Sizes begin to shrink. Metal got thinner and thinner. 

The company would have the machines shipped directly to the customer and only discover these cut corners when they went to maintain or repair them. 

A swift flight to China and a bollocking given, the spec returned to normal for a bit. 

[Fumbler]

49 minutes ago, hairymel said:

Guess you have already found out that generally these type of Chinesium 200a inverters are not bad for the money as long as you factor in that the display shows about twice the actual current. And of course the 200a rating is nearer 100a.

Indeed, people's current readings on Youtube show this. In the case of This Old Tony, switching polarity makes the weld better, however I don't know if this applies to all of them.

[Joey spud]

This made me larf.

[Roobarb]

^^^

I always wondered how ‘The ox and lamb kept time’

In a Flaver Flav kind of way or with a baton like the Conductor on the Last night of the Proms?

EDIT: Google is your friend

[hairymel]

4 hours ago, Fumbler said:

 This Old Tony

Subscribe

[MarvinsMom]

14 hours ago, Joey spud said:

This made me larf.

which reminds me of this, an all time favourite

"i brought these gifts for you, their upper my bum......"

[Tadhg Tiogar]

14 hours ago, Timewaster said:

A friend of mine worked in his dad's business selling industrial machines. 

Manufacturing by contractors in China, they would produce the first batch perfectly. 

Then gradually the spec began to drift. 

Titanium fixings became stainless, stainless fittings became mild. 

Non vital components start to disappear. 

Sizes begin to shrink. Metal got thinner and thinner. 

The company would have the machines shipped directly to the customer and only discover these cut corners when they went to maintain or repair them. 

A swift flight to China and a bollocking given, the spec returned to normal for a bit. 

"Heaven is high, and the Emperor is far away"

Alternatively, when the cat's away,  the mice mitch off early. 

[SRi05]

Drove my mum and dad about on Christmas day so they could both have a gargle when out visiting, they normally laugh about how I always have a different car when I visit them, and this was the first time they'd seen the Saab. They were absolutely purring over it ? had a fair bit of country road driving so stuck the roof down for a laugh, they loved it. Think I'll just donate it to them when the time comes to buy my next piece of chod from here. 

[iainrcz]

Just been watching that Brian Cox geezer.
Had a quick search about the Voyager probes, they're still out there transmitting data after over 42 years.
Fucking staggering.

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[wuvvum]

Yep, space probes were built to last in those days.  Not like the flimsy Space-X crap they're pushing out now which half the time can't even get into orbit without falling to bits.

[Jamie]

Still making me grin ?

[hairnet]

no ep3s round your way?

 

[Bobthebeard]

Working on Christmas Day. My first Christmas as a private hire driver so decided to put my name down to work all day. Christmas tariff so 50% extra. Really enjoyed the day, everyone in a good mood, no traffic and plenty of 'tips'. Was about to sign off at 6pm but a job pinged up to collect a customer from a local club. Turned up, waited and waited. Just about to log the job as a No Show then a young lass dashed out in full going out gear. "Are you waiting for me? It's Katie" Agreed that I was so in she got. She needed to go and feed her four horses and return to the party, could I wait and bring her back etc? Did that. The grin is that she was delightful and her horses were in stables miles away. £30 fare and a £10 tip. A great end to work on Christmas Day. 

[somewhatfoolish]

1 hour ago, wuvvum said:

Yep, space probes were built to last in those days.  Not like the flimsy Space-X crap they're pushing out now which half the time can't even get into orbit without falling to bits.

Boeing can't even get theirs to go into orbit at all, not the right one anyway, so experience isn't all it's cracked up to be. At the moment parachute science seems to be harder than rocket surgery, or something.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

19 minutes ago, somewhatfoolish said:

Boeing can't even get theirs to go into orbit at all, not the right one anyway.....

They're certainly having problems with the stuff they used to do really well, like building planes that don't crash....

[iainrcz]

38 minutes ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

They're certainly having problems with the stuff they used to do really well, like building planes that don't crash....

*cough* Accountants *cough*

[dozeydustman]

Spent the last 2 days at work driving this

 

Anyone Who has ever driven a Merc Econic will know why I’ve been grinning since yesterday morning.

Loaded it hits the limiter (56mph) in 50 seconds, which for 26 tonnes and a 280hp engine is pretty quick....

[Jamie]

3 hours ago, hairnet said:

no ep3s round your way?

 

Was less than ep3 money ?

[Roobarb]

27 minutes ago, jamiechod said:

Went to look at some puppies, wife was obsessed with this little fella

Bring him home! Bring him home!

We brought one home about a year ago, and he’s the best dog I’ve ever had. Not so good on stairs and you have to clean their rope folds every day in the spring / summer / autumn, but such great friendly pups!

This is Winnie (Winston Churchill) now with Roobarb Jnr. 

[DVee8]

A mate of mine is in a pub in Sheffield called..

[purplebargeken]

It's at times like this that I sometimes reflect on the experiences as a nurse over the last 33 years. Some sad, some poignant, some just plain fucking weird.

Here is but one example: I used to work as a CPN in a small little area not a million miles away from, oooh, let's say... Southall. The CMHT building was an older property, lovely building, probably worth a small fortune nowadays. The patients that attended were lovely, really nice folk. To enter the main building you had to wait to be buzzed in by the receptionist usually. However, this one particular afternoon I was nearest to the window and buzzer. A very well-known patient was stood there, looking calm and eager to gain access. I greeted him (let's call him... Fred (don't worry that isn't his real name) with the following words ' Hi Fred, good to see you. Do you have any idea why your trousers might be on fire?' Fred looked about wildly, he looked everywhere except at the most appropriate place, namely his trousers which were billowing smoke at this point. I ran to meet him and proceeded to put out the admittedly small fire which had started in the cuff of his trousers. His trousers had been ignited by a discarded cig butt. He was very grateful. He looked a little bemused by my next comment which was.... 'See, I told you smoking was dangerous'. The sounds of muffled choking laughter could be heard from my colleagues located in the office. Ah, those were the days.

[Aston Martin]

Stolen from the twitters

[Garythesnail]

That's looking bang tidy on steel wheels?

[xtriple]

• Took the dogs to Ilsham valley  earlier, Phoebe lays in the hedge and destroys things and Chester wanders around, searching for other dogs to annoy/sniff/bonk. while he was away on the hunt, a pair of very nice ladies turned up with a 6 month old BASSET puppy! He was gorgeous and soooo friendly. However, even though it's a huge area and dog friendly, he was on his lead. I quickly surmised that he was displaying his Bassetness and was right: if let off, he would disappear for days. He also spends his life 'mooing' (I always thinks it's more like 'woo-woo')  at one and all, eats everything in sight and refuses to do anything he doesn't want to do.
• The lady who owned him already had the look of exasperation that all Basset owners seem to acquire within a few months of ownership.
• Chester re-appeared with the greatest speed I've seen him display and was all over this dog - love at first sight for sure and, inevitably, he totally ignored me and followed the dog all the way back to their car. The lady appeared quite worried and sort of shoo'd him back a few times but I told her not to worry, once he realises he's too far away and his 'meal ticket was/is out of sight, he'd dash back as if his bum was/is on fire. sure enough, he did.
• It's a 'Basset' thing... you get used to them, the bastards!