1995 BMW 320i

[Supernaut]

Where do I begin?

Well, I turned 30 on Monday the 15th. On Saturday the 13th I was in the pub with Tayne and a couple of my other friends.
When Tayne turned up he said "I haven't got you anything, but depending on how the evening goes, I might be giving you my BMW"

At first I was confused, then he explained he'd bought a ticket for a raffle, and that he was giving me that ticket.


It only went and bloody won! Even better, I've had thoughts of another E36 at the back of my mind since me and 17-Coffees bought the 316i back in 2016.




So this morning, we set off to collect it.





After having a good poke around Tickman's workshop in Forfar, including 320touring's Morris Oxford, we went for lunch. Here it is in all its glory*.




After lunch, it wouldn't start. It was totally dead, not even any dash lights. This is a photo of Tayne trying to start it.



Turns out it was a loose negative battery terminal, which we only diagnosed when connecting jump leads to it. It was then secured* using some duct tape.

Afterwards, it made it back to Aberdeen fine.





It's now dumped on 17-Coffees' driveway, keeping the white 316i company. It needs a bit of fettling:

- Bonnet does not open
- Windscreen washers do not work (may just be empty)
- Driver's window and electric mirror do not work
- Brake judder above 50mph
- Tracking is way out

Even better* is that the MOT is only valid until the 12th of February! It drives nicely apart from all that though. Pulls well and shifts through the gears smoothly. It's also very secure, as it has an interesting technique needed to start it. Basically, you have to hold a fob up to a small red light until the light goes out, put one key into the original ignition barrel, then there's a bit of an ignition barrel hastily bolted to the other side of the steering column, which you put another key into in order to switch it on and start it.

Inventory of other things provided with the car:
- The other 2 5 spoke wheels
- The other 2 7 spoke wheels
- Another tyre
- 2 floor mats
- 3 screwdrivers
- 2 shopping bags
- a can of deodorant
- a butter knife

It's also utterly fucking minging from all the road grime now.

[Skizzer]

Happy* birthday!

[The Moog]

Result!*

 

*I think, still getting a car for your 30th is a decent story

[tommotech]

Happy Birthday, you lucky* lad!

[Supernaut]

As Tayne will confirm, I was incredibly dubious about this car. Especially when it wouldn't start.

 

However, once we got it going, and got it to 17-Coffees' house, all three of us went out in it after emptying it out. It's a nice place to sit, actually! I think I will try to fix it up to a slightly more usable standard and roll around in it like a third-rate drug dealer.

[drum]

Looks bowfin.

 

Ok for roffle money 'spose.

[Supernaut]

Looks bowfin.

 

Ok for roffle money 'spose.

It's even worse in person!

 

The radio seemed to have a mind of its own too. I tuned it into Original 106 when leaving Forfar. Between Forfar, Aberdeen and Ellon it went from Original, to BBC Scotland, to Northsound, and to SHMU FM (a local station round here).

 

 

 

I almost forgot the best feature! The left boot hinge squeaks in exactly the same way the one on the white 316 does!

[Vince70]

Happy birthday and I doubt a Boston green E36 could of gone to a better home.

If the window needs a new mechanism don’t go for the shite aftermarket stuff on eBay for £30 just buy a decent second hand unit.

I replaced mine with a cheapo one and it lasted all of 3 days before bending up again so got one off a scrap motor and it’s been fine since with new clips and plenty of grease and silicone spray.

 

I still don’t know what to do with this one but I know if I part with it I will have trouble finding another as good so I think It’s staying with the other two.

[Bren]

Happy birthday. I presume the cheap lunch was the highlight?

[17-Coffees]

Got told in the week by Supernaut “I’ve got something to show you, I’ll be at yours on Sunday”. I knew he’d gotten a car or fitted a fruity exhaust to the Mondeo.

While cleaning I hear something pull into the driveway...

Wut.

 

Having told the what’s going on I couldn’t help but laugh, more so when I get given the walk around. Then we empty about 7 wheels into my shed, which is currently filled with wheels and tyres (all of them his) That was followed by trying to get the bonnet open, from trying to pry it open to checking how the system works on the 316. No success.

 

I then got treated to a quick drive round Ellon to see what it can do, fair bit quicker than the 316 but can feel it needs work done.

So yeah, after that it got abandoned in my driveway and I gave them a lift to Aberdeen in the Abarth. No idea way the neighbors will be thinking...

.

What a magnificent bastard.

[Supernaut]

What a magnificent bastard.

Me, the car, both?

[320touring]

She'll kill me- ATS wan ae the guid knives..

 

Glad you made it back ok, and that the non start was only a loose terminal:)

[hairnet]

Happy birthday. I presume the cheap lunch was the highlight?

not if 320 was there and ate it all

[320touring]

I hope you get some fun out it:)

 

Poor thing was either flat out 600 miles a week, or sitting unused with me.

 

It deserves better.

 

The bonnet can be persuaded to open sometimes if you bounce the bonnet above the clips whilst the handle is being pulled.

 

Failing that, there are tutorial so the yoochoob that walk you through how to get in via the grille (it's a lot more complex than the simple job on the E30)

[Liggle]

Cannae beat a boston green E36. I loved mine:

 

 

 

I spent <£1k on the car and suspension/brakes/tyres and kept up with some much more expensive machinery at Bedford Autodrome (shown above), the sideways shot was for the camera, it wasn't a drift y0 car. It was only a 323i but some sort of witch-craft going on, was quicker than my house mates 328i at the time. 

What I love with E36's is even a base 316i drives lovely, a proper drivers car. 

[cort16]

Was 320 buttering scones in there or something ?

[320touring]

Was 320 buttering scones in there or something ?

It was a better fit in the jacking point cover than any screwdrivers I could find..

[320touring]

Butter knives in the BMW!

 

Do you use a meat clever to fix the Morris?

 

DD82D2DC-FB9E-432E-B426-B97F8EBA4753.jpeg

Better with a chainsaw for the amount of metal that needs letting in...

[dollywobbler]

These are such lovely looking cars. How did BMW balls it up so much?

[spartacus]

I echo DW's opinion on the looks. Even though the 2.0 straight six isn't that powerful it's smoother than the 2.5, once sorted it'll be a fine steer. Result! Happy birthday.

[RobT]

Butter knives in the BMW!

 

Do you use a meat clever to fix the Morris?

 

DD82D2DC-FB9E-432E-B426-B97F8EBA4753.jpeg

 

God that shed looks fantastic!  ATCNB either.

[Supernaut]

What I love with E36's is even a base 316i drives lovely, a proper drivers car.

Yup, me and 17-Coffees got a 316i four door back in 2016. Still got it! It's lovely to drive!

[Tickman]

God that shed looks fantastic!  ATCNB either.

 

It is a great shed, if a little* cold.

[CortinaDave]

It's even worse in person!

 

The radio seemed to have a mind of its own too. I tuned it into Original 106 when leaving Forfar. Between Forfar, Aberdeen and Ellon it went from Original, to BBC Scotland, to Northsound, and to SHMU FM (a local station round here)

At least it didn't force you to listen to NECR! I used to do the breakfast show on original. Great wee station.

[purplebargeken]

Christ, what a pair o'scary looking bastids.

 

Cool collekshun capers though. Every car should be fitted with a butter knife. 

[Supernaut]

I'll write my plan of action down here, for you all to track how wrong it all goes.

 

1: Sort out the bonnet release. Tayne has found youtube tutorials on how to do this.

2: Once the bonnet is open, investigate the screenwash. Hopefully it's just empty.

3: Have a look at the brake judder. I'm being optimistic and hoping it's a sticky caliper which can be freed off with hammers and copper grease

4: Battery terminal (thanks to Tayne for reminding me)

5: Clean it

6: Present it for an MOT!

 

The next time I'll be anywhere near it is the weekend, so stuff may happen then. If (that's a big IF) it gets an MOT, I can turn my attention to the other niggles such as the electrics in the driver's door, and perhaps putting a slightly more functional radio in it.

[overrun]

Nice Volvo. #Scotland

[Supernaut]

I think battery and battery terminal security may be included in the Mot...

 

*quietly adds to list*

 

I knew I forgot something!

[17-Coffees]

Since it's been dumped on my drive I though I'd tinker about with it and see if i could get the bonnet open.

First port of call was getting something to kneel on, cardbord box I grabbed...

ITS A SIGN!

 

So I set about removing some interior trim to so I could remove the latch for the bonnet pull.As expected it came off easy* as always, and i managed to cut myself on the speaker panel. Then I removed the bonnet pull latch...

Photo is once I put it back togeather.

Pulled it all the way and nothing, can hear something moving when you pull and push it. It's as if its very slack, would't say its broke as can hear something at the bonnet side of things. Since it was 8Pm and i'm on Holiday, I got board and went back inside to crack open a beer. 

 

Things of note I told Supernaut was that the front headlights are really condensated, which could lead to an MOT fail. We did have a truck at work fail on that once. Hopefully once the bonnets open we can see whats caused it, and sort it. if not I'm sure a set off a E36 Saloon would do the job for the MOT....especially ones of a 316 that's sitting hibernating in a garage.

I did try and acquire a battery terminal tonight as well, but sadly my free supply was out of stock, oh well. Only a few quid after all. 

Also the rear number plate has let in water, causing a big amount of bubbling should be fine as none of the letting if effected but guess it depends how anal the tester is. 

 

I may try again tomorrow, been told you can get to the bonnet cable by removing the O/S indicator lamp which you can remove without opening the bonnet? 

[cort1977]

At least it didn't force you to listen to NECR! I used to do the breakfast show on original. Great wee station.

Never Ending Crap Records! I must be One of very few people in the world to miss Aberdeen.

 

Love the e36 coupe, had a Boston green 325 for a while but manual and lowered do not a good commuter make.