2016 AS quote thread

[Split_Pin]

Monseiur Junqueman:

 

Quote

 

IDEAL FOR THOSE WHO LOVE CLASSIC CARS OR RENOVATIONS

 

Does this mean it's fucked?

 

Quote

 

THE CAR AS BEEN STOOD FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS BUT BEFORE THAT RAN PERFECTLY FINE

 

My grandma has been stood for almost 30 years and before that ran perfectly fine. Now she is dead.

[anonymous user]

Skizzer regarding his XJS repairs

 

The estimated bill is nicely within my expectations so I'm pretty happy with that.

I bet not many XJS owners can say that

[Skizzer]

^ Junkman will be along shortly with a witty and very valid observation about famous last words.

[Supernaut]

NOT CAMPING GLAMPING CATH KIDSON'S KNICKERS TWATAVAN INCONTINENT FUCK OFF AND HOLIDAY ABROAD WITH YOUR STUCK UP RIGHT ON PILE OF WANK PATINA RETRO COMMODE BASTARD

[Cavcraft]

Pillock's superb

 

'You lost me at "put the cider away" and I decided you weren't one of those people that needs listening to. Soz'

[catsinthewelder]

This.

 

My work daily has the trim level etched on to the sill finishers in the door shuts, of all places.

 

It's like saying to embarking passengers, "You are now entering the glorious world of BMW LUXURY - prepare to be humbled by the mighty power of my leather-look seats, pointless LED mood lighting and slivers of unlikely tropical hardwoods with too much gloss lacquer."  Embarrassing.  Luckily they're mostly too busy trying not to bang their heads on the swoopy A-pillar to look down.

 

It also has a plastic badge on the rear quarter window declaiming the body style in rather camp italics.  I don't remember that happening even on mid-80s Japanese hot hatches, which could hardly move for "16-valve electronic-injection part-time-all-wheel-drive anti-lock-braking overhead-camshaft" stickers, but never actually said "hatchback" as I recall.

 

Said body style, by the way, is called "Gran Coupé".  So that'll be a German car with a name that's a nonsense Europudding mix of Italian and French.  It's enough to make you think about voting to Leave - well, almost.

 

It's an ok car, but it's an awfully long way up itself at times.

[xtriple]

Yay! I have made it onto this thread, I feel like I have 'made it' big time

[catsinthewelder]

May I just say, you are all nasty bastards... I feel quite at home

[xtriple]

Twice!

[DeeJay]

Can I have your autograph Mister?

[xtriple]

Can I have your autograph Mister?

Of course.... for a price

[anonymous user]

Dollywobbler doing the hard sell on his caravan

 

There is a bathroom, with a sink, but the ceiling has caved in here and there's a bit of frame rot in this corner. We dealt with this by closing the door and pretending not to notice.

[Brodders]

Classic Billy quote from the Ebay Tat Thread

 

 

 

"How many kilos of Class A do you need to (badly) make a car that looks like a bloke in a gas mask with his knob sticking out?"

 

 

 

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/OTAwWDE2MDA=/z/uLEAAOSwdWBXPMBK/$_57.JPG

[oldcars]

This buy cort16 is the Sierra holy grail thread. 

 

Posted Yesterday, 07:36 PM

My old cortina looked like a jean michel jarre concert when you put the bonnet up at night. I'd lash the leads together with some electrical or gaffa tape . I'm sure it'll be fine for a few miles . 

[vulgalour]

I'm like a neglected Bentley.... but cheaper

[AMC Rebel]

 

 

Even a slow speed collision means you'll be able to enter Stars In Their Eyes as Douglas Bader and be guaranteed at least a place in the semi finals. 

 

Warren T Claim on Wuvvum's van thread

[catsinthewelder]

 

 To make up for it I bought two 164s to use instead, a V6 Alfa and a straight 6 Volvo and kept the Lancia as an ornament until I ran out of space.

 

Anonymous user talking about his Lancia Gamma in the News 24 Thread

 

http://autoshite.com/topic/10017-the-news-24-thread/page-1020

[fred]

You know you have entered AS legend status if you are quoted on  this thread - Xtriple

[Wilko220]

Dugong on his MSG 6:

 

"There was a mis-spelling in the Owners' Manual which said 'Ket Features' instead of 'Key Features'.

Ketamine might have made our tenure of it bearable."

[AMC Rebel]

As a used buy, I suspect they will now depreciate faster than a Jim Fixed It For Me badge.

 

 

 

rovamota on the MG6 thread

[AMC Rebel]

No bootlid, just a butt-plug.

Sornme about a Nash Metropolitan on the ebay tat thread

 

[sporty-shite]

 

 

That's about as 'Rock and Roll' as having a signed picture of Shaking Stevens eating a Pot Noodle on the back of your bog door.

 

From the eBay tat thread.

[Noel Tidybeard]

from C.D.C

 

NOT A PRECISION INSTRUMENT

[spartacus]

"who's going to wash our cars"

 

NorfolkNWeigh on the 'Brexit'.

[Station]

We did Amsterdam-Berlin-Paris in the Berlingo a few years back. No prizes for guessing which one I won't be returning to.

The Berlingo?

LOLZ (edited for those who don't know what a Blingo is)

[skattrd]

320T whilst discuccing the leaking fuel tank and driving home from SF16:

 

aye RAC administered putty action and we bought a fire extinguisher..

 

[vulgalour]

From the Bavarian Misery Wagon thread: http://autoshite.com/topic/25167-so-what-does-£191-get-you-bavarian-misery-wagon/page-1
 

Go kick a door in, add to the mystery

[oldcars]

This in the whats better to have thread from Bren

 

 

•  

Posted Yesterday, 09:13 PM

This forum is about rust, leaks and general fucking misery. 

•  
•  

[cort1977]

R9UKE on Grand Voyagers

 

"They're so American you feel yourself gaining weight even before you've got home."

[anonymous user]

Junkman on Grand Voyagers

 

I had a succession of them during the 90s when I had my travelling circus.