Cavcraft 2015: Vectra, because you're worthless.

[Lankytim]

My Dad has requested a small auto since his tank of a Volvo 740 shat it's headgasket and big ends last week. I shall give him a call.

 

Could you MOT it easily enough?

[Cavcraft]

I can get it there probably Saturday, Tim. I don't know when they'll get to test it, probably next week at a guess.

[Cavcraft]

  On 03/02/2015 at 19:11, eddyramrod said:

Sadly I've just had to declare myself oot on the Astra.  Outside forces...  Public apology to Billy.

 

None required, Eddy, cheers for trying.

[RobT]

I'm enjoying this thread, it just keeps getting grimmer!

 

Mk3 Astra WIN. Is the 1.4 auto glacial, as wouldn't mind trying one at some point.

[skattrd]

I can't wait to see what's downhill from that Megane.

[Partridge]

I thought cars as grim as that Renault had mythical status. Cars that horrible exist for real?

[dugong]

STYLISH AND AFFORDABLE

[Partridge]

With rust brown accent lines sad made from real rust.

[vulgalour]

4 SAIL RATLUK MEGANE NOT VW PINEAPPLE ROOFRACK DRIFTQUEEN JDM KLF MOOMOOLAND

[chaseracer]

  On 03/02/2015 at 23:10, skattrd said:

I can't wait to see what's downhill from that Megane.

 

The £200 Shitroen C2 badertronic on the UKRCM FB page.

[Cavcraft]

For a laugh I've put this in Gumtree for £130. The first person wants to know if it runs and will drive away and how much fuel is in it. I said it's got about £1's worth of juice and the battery might be flat.

 

'Will you get another battery?'

 

No, I'm not getting another battery for it.

 

Person number two chomping at the bit and wants to view tonight. I hope he turns up with the full asking price or he's going to walk away as he came, empty headed.

[Partridge]

Who knew grim, rusted Renaults with dented bonnets were in such strong demand?

[cort16]

Cavcraft employs a team of 70 analysts to track market trends. 

[Pillock]

 

 

  On 04/02/2015 at 13:30, Cavcraft said:

I hope he turns up with the full asking price or he's going to walk away as he came, empty headed.

Either a typo for empty handed, or your punishment for messing sellers around now includes a lobotomy.

[Cavcraft]

He's only seen a picture of the bonnet so far. If he's not disappointed when he gets here I'm going to be so suspicious I'll shall spend my life savings (£11) in tracking down his export gang.

I can't help thinking this will be a dole cheat chariot or will be on Look North West with my mate* Lucy Meacock describing a ram raid on Aldi by someone in a shit Renault.

 

*She's not my mate but I twice said hello to her when walking my dog.

[oldcars]

  On 04/02/2015 at 13:58, Cavcraft said:

He's only seen a picture of the bonnet so far. If he's not disappointed when he gets here I'm going to be so suspicious I'll shall spend my life savings (£11) in tracking down his export gang.

I can't help thinking this will be a dole cheat chariot or will be on Look North West with my mate* Lucy Meacock describing a ram raid on Aldi by someone in a shit Renault.

 

*She's not my mate but I twice said hello to her when walking my dog.

This is possible, as Aldi are doing battery chargers tomorrow morning from 9pm.

[Cavcraft]

Sold!

[Partridge]

F**k me! Nice going and well done.

[Pillock]

First the mashed up Daewoo, now the hideous wreck of a Megane.

Are you advertising them in the braile-only edition of Autotrader or something?

[nacho man]

Selling more cars than Arnie Clark

[greengartside]

Amazing work. Just amazing. Well done. 183.28/10 for effort.

[Station]

Do you still have the Astra?

 

And do you have better pho ... actually, OK.

[Cavcraft]

Yes, Astra still here. I don't know what pictures I have, but I bet they're crap.

[Danblez]

Jesus man, YOU'RE ON FIRE!

[Station]

How long are you keeping it for - I'm guessing it is days and not weeks?

[Timewaster]

  On 04/02/2015 at 14:15, shumarialto said:

This is possible, as Aldi are doing battery chargers tomorrow morning from 9pm.

Sadly, this is not true. Jump packs yes, chargers no.

 

I don't need a jump pack. Or a FUBAR Renault for that matter.

[Station]

If the jump pack comes in yellow, is surrounded in plastic, and looks like this:

 

 

Don't buy it, it will last a few charges and then die. My dad, for some reason had about five in succession. He had to jump his Mondeo now and then as the starter was full of DMF swarf.

My mum bought me one, it sat in the garage until my dad needed to borrow it, and it lasted one jump start and then died.

[Timewaster]

^^^ Been there , done that

[RoadworkUK]

That Megane was one of the worst cars I've seen in my entire life.

 

I feel sorry for it. Why oh why must I empathise with shit cars?

[purplebargeken]

Waiting outside the breakers yard with the price plus a tenner.

 

That is one fucking ace idea.