Autoshite Sparkys - Your Smoke Is Our Concern

[Micrashed]

Swapped the stereo in the Mav tonight for one of eBays finest £10.48 MP3 player /FM fag packet thing - had to butcher the Nissan/Ford loom in true Autoshite style and discovered all my Scotclocks are up at the caravan but as luck would have it I found some insulation tape and strip block....

 

So - what wonderful Lord Lucas Prince of Darkness Electrical Bodgery have you undertaken?

[Asimo]

12v Battery for the starter (charge once every few weeks), original 6v battery for everything else. Instant starting!

(£10 orange beetle that Dad then used for years).

[saucedoctor]

2.2 Ohm resistor has been deployed by me a few times to sort out airbag lights. Similarly, I've made "voltage dividers" out of resistor pairs  to bring the signal from o2 sensors back in range.

 

It doesn't actually fix the sensor, it just makes the car think it's ok. Likewise, I sorted out an S Type Jag which had a brand new sensor that we knew was OK, but the car didn't like the output of 0.63volts which it saw as 0.88v cos the ECU was banjaxed. Trimmed it by 33% and the light went off. Thank fuck. That was a head melter. THEN, after a whole weekend of fucking about, we found out a secondhand ECU could be had for £30 and no programming!

 

I ran my Honda MT5 on a bit of thick wire wrapped round the top of the spark plug and stuffed into the CDI unit instead of an HT lead.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Oh, my poor, poor first car. I wanted central locking, so I bought the motors from eBay. I didn't have the loom, but I did have dozens of meters of black wire, so I hacked the multi plugs off and got soldering. Then of course, rather than find an appropriate feed from the fuse box I just wired them straight to the battery (with an inline fuse). 

 

Pretty soon I had my central locking, but I also had huge spaghettis of black wire bulging out of every trim panel. There was a useful little cubby in the passenger footwell. No longer. Post central locking, when the door was opened fistfuls of unidentifiable black wire spewed out. What's that duct taped to the bottom of the dash? A year's supply of liquorish bootlaces? What could this be under the carpet? Guess what's under the carpet. 

 

One day I noticed the B pillar trim was loose, so I grabbed a screwdriver and tightened the screw. The doors all started to lock and unlock frantically. I backed the screw off until they stopped. That is how professional my central locking install was. 

 

Sorry to the next owner, I forgot to give you the updated wiring diagram:

 

[Pillock]

I helped build a Nova rally car. Quite a nice spec, 1400cc 8v. I assisted with wiring using a mixture of new wire (red) and the loom out of a parts donor Nova. Which was a bit knackered so mostly red wires with labels on each end, hilariously not with the purpose of the wire but with the colour it would have been in the original diagram. It made sense at the time! It just didn't later on, when you have a red wire labeled as "purple/white". Genius.

 

It did work though, all of it. Including all the relays we used when we couldn't be arsed to work out if the current draw would be too great for a switch. The high current was provided by some cable nicked from a pit site, 1" diameter and red insulation. Had to solder battery connectors with a blowtorch.

 

Ignition worked through the rear wiper switch which gave a perfect off-on-momentary action.

[jakebullet]

The local halfords used to fit radios n car alarms. They also didn't lock their skip. Rewired my first landy with a load of chocky blocks n aforementioned reclaimed wire, so not uncommon to find 3 or 4 colour changes in 1 connection.

[HH-R]

The wiring to the radio of my Micra was hacked to hell by a previous owner. Had to get father HH-R to put an ISO connector back on. It didn't have a fag lighter socket either so I nicked the feed from the radio. It did work if you didn't take the mickey and just plugged in a FM transmitter or something but I had a friend who liked to smoke and would use the lighter which blew the fuse. I had intended to put one of those Maplin central locking kits in (5 door car and passengers would never lock the doors, there was always at least one back door open for weeks on end). Got as far as taking the passenger door card off which was off for months and when I finally put it back on I bent the door.

 

I try not to do anything DIY.

[rml2345]

I painstakingly wired in a replacement radio to the late 740 by chopping out the radio plugs I needed from an S40 and connecting the whole thing to the original wiring loom using bullet connectors. Professional*

Believe it or not, that was a vast improvement over the last radio install.

[robinmasters]

I had a Xantia which had burnt out the heater circuit on the ignition (they don't have a relay, all the current for the blower runs through the ignition), so I screwed one of these sockets under the dash with one side of the circuit to each pin. To use the heater you had to put the plug in, which had the two pins wired together.

 

[rainagain]

Swapped the stereo in the Mav tonight for one of eBays finest £10.48 MP3 player /FM fag packet thing - had to butcher the Nissan/Ford loom in true Autoshite style and discovered all my Scotclocks are up at the caravan but as luck would have it I found some insulation tape and strip block....

 

 

So - what wonderful Lord Lucas Prince of Darkness Electrical Bodgery have you undertaken?

can I have an ebay link please, as my fm transmitter was just killed by the unusually hot weather

[Micrashed]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/291164008146

its been revised to include the postage price in the listing amount.

 

However - be warned....

Ebay pic of the display.

 

The reality!
Sounds OK though

 

Its the width of a fag packet and there is fuck all inside.

[mat_the_cat]

Does this count?

 

[Bren]

Does this count?

 

The 250 amp option was utilised in my vauxhall royale.

[Micrashed]

Ive used paper clips before now.

[saucedoctor]

Mat's pic reminded me of the time we were doing the Starlight Navigation Rally for charideee, way back about 1992 I think. We were in a prepped Manta GTE, and me and my mate were taking turns with the driving. Predictably, Northern Ireland in March involved a lot of rain, and the damned wipers kept blowing the fuse (the "continental" type, sometimes called ceramic).

 

"Fuck this" quoth I, after we ran out of fuses, and jammed a small pair of pliers in the fuse holder. No more wiper issues.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/291164008146

its been revised to include the postage price in the listing amount.

 

However - be warned....

 

Ebay pic of the display.

 

The reality!

Sounds OK though

 

Its the width of a fag packet and there is fuck all inside.

 

LOL @ that blatant lie about the display. Still, for £14 that's good value! Does it sound okay?

[Junkman]

Car electrickery is traditionally dubious to the degree of being botch to begin with.

Often numerous skilled* artisans* improved* it as the years went by.

This clashes with my disposition, that any electrical installation in sub-U-boat-quality will inevitably fail.

Hence, when it comes to wiring, I'm pedantic to the degree of being obsessed, be it in cars, or elsewhere.

[messerschmitt owner]

Just about to rewire a whole car. Done it twice before now. Buy loom, fit loom. It's as easy as that.

[Junkman]

Yeah, if you want to end up with similar rubbish to what was installed originally by the manufacturer.

When I rewire a car, I use the opportunity do it like it should be done.

[Micrashed]

LOL @ that blatant lie about the display. Still, for £14 that's good value! Does it sound okay?

It does actually sound quite good, even ramped up to 11, its not distorting, So for the price I cant grumble.

[messerschmitt owner]

Yeah, if you want to end up with similar rubbish to what was installed originally by the manufacturer.

When I rewire a car, I use the opportunity do it like it should be done.

the loom on a Messerschmitt is absolutely brilliant quality. It's all sheathed properly. You really don't need to fiddle with it.

[alf892]

I agreed to drive my daughter on her 'prom' thing that schools seem to have these days. I thought I would bring some class to the stretch limos and shit.

 

The day arrives and the Rover is duly polished up....a waste of time as it is drizzling.

 

So off we go. loads of pics........pick up her fella....more pics.

 

Driving through town and cutting a dash. I notice a familiar smell.......but can't place it. A couple of mopeds pass and I put it down to Bel Ray (remember that??). Brain is not really happy with this diagnosis but nearly there so not to worry.

 

I turn into the school road and glance at the ammeter.........fuck! showing heavy discharge. The penny drops as i place the smell.......burning fabric covered wiring.

 

No chance to stop (well not without looking like i have broken down anyway!) I turn off the sidelights. Smell less strong.

 

Drop passengers and go home. Into garage and out of suit to do quick check on wires. Car has three wire system.....one front.....one back .....and ignition. Found burnt wires right next to fuel tank inside armoured section. Chop out burnt bit and insert piece of household cable. Mental note to order new loom as it is over 60 years old and this counts as lucky escape. Clean up and suit back on to do the pick up.

 

Keep forgetting about proper repair until I read stuff like this or go out at night!

 

Should have recognised the smell sooner really ........as a mechanic who has fitted the odd electrical accessory warm wire is pretty familiar outcome. Normally plastic though..........burning fabric actually smells nicer.

[The Moog]

LOL @ that blatant lie about the display. Still, for £14 that's good value! Does it sound okay?

Yesterday i picked up a jvc and clarion cd stereo for £15 each from scrappy.

 

They have loads of them as people leave them in their cars when getting rid of them.

[beko1987]

I tried to wire a second fag lighter off the first in the ZX for a stealth phone charger. 

 

Checked the wire markings and made a note of which was which and cut the cable to splice into it...

 

and cut above the fucking cable markings, so had 2 identical cables poking out the dash. Was dark by this point so insualted everything up, put the dash vaguly back together and drove to work and back for a few days.

 

Worked out which one was which after some multimetering, connected it together and promptly set my new phone charger on fire... swapped the wires around, different charger and it worked!

 

I then just connected the original lighter back up, put the dash back together and didnt touch it again!

 

Shitting myself to find a broken wire in a loom or something, id never find it

[Junkman]

the loom on a Messerschmitt is absolutely brilliant quality. It's all sheathed properly. You really don't need to fiddle with it.

 

I can imagine that it's lightyears better than the shit you find in yanks.

[castros_bro]

My 3 cyl two stroke Munga had vast 24v bosch alternator as it was used a radio truck so got a rotary converter (24Vdc to 220Vac) and electric toasted sandwich maker for the ultimate in car snacking during London rush hour traffic jams.

[anonymous user]

Does this count?

 

Is it a still a 16amp rating if you eat the Laughing Cow "cheese" first, or do you have to leave it in the wrapper?

[Richard]

I have caused two car fires by using the above fuse kit, luckily neither of them was on my own car. First rule of learning- learn from your mistakes. Second rule- make your mistakes on other people's stuff.

[rml2345]

Not quite car related but I did once use a 12V continuity testing thing with a wee bulb in it to check house supply when attempting to wire a light fitting. I knew which was live when the bulb exploded rather spectacularly and tripped all the breakers.

Funnily enough I haven't touched house wiring since.

[cms206]

Duff wiring for a reversing camera and the fire it caused thereafter destroyed the £40k DAF SB3000 coach I was driving last October. It wasn't my fault though, so it's all cool as an cat.