Most horrible? Let's ask Morrissey...

[Cavcraft]

I was happy in the haze blue Cavalier
but heaven knows I'm miserable now
I was looking for a car, and then I found a car
and heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
why do I give valuable time
to Corsas who should not live but die

 

Two snails and sloth pass me by
and heaven knows I'm miserable now
I was looking for a Corsa, and then I found an auto
and heaven knows I'm miserable now
 

 

 

 

Trust me the pictures flatter it, it's absolutely GOPPING. It's got MOT (August) tax (March or April) and a dfifferently abled gearbox. The list of plus points is actually smaller than the amount of times I've had a horizontal jog with Sophie Ellis Bexter, so like there isn't any.

I don't especially know why I bought it, it's got a strange (purposely made) hole in the o/s/r, the dashboard has bit missing by the glovebox, minging wheel trims, no power steering, there's some wiring bodgery by the glovebox, is' horribly dirty, got flat paint and the owner described it as a 1.3 automatic, even though they didn't come in 1.3 flavour.

 

Anyhow I shaved £100 off the £250 asking price and still feel like I've completely mugged myself off. The challenge to turn this into 1) a better car and 2) a worthwhile profit will probably be my biggest challenge to date. 

[phil_lihp]

You, sir, are living the dream.

[ProgRocker]

As if a 1.4 Cavalier wasn't miserable enough!

[phil_lihp]

Actually in defence of this I compared a 1.2 Corsa and 1.1 Fiesta of the same 1994 vintage back to back a few years ago, the Corsa B really isn't a bad little car, quite pleasant to drive and feels light years ahead of the Mk3 Fiesta.  Some spit and polish and binning the nasty trims should work wonders.

 

Edit. Just seen that it's a wrongomatic.  Good grief, what a dreadful prospect.  Have your shite points back.

[Cavcraft]

GTFO with your 1.2 allegation, it's a 1.4!

[wuvvum]

I don't especially know why I bought it

 

If I had a quid for every time I've said that to myself, I could probably afford a rancid automatic Corsa.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Top shiteing, crap car bought for no reason and beautifully posted. 11/10

[Lord Sterling]

You need to turn this into a better car. Come on man, you know you got it in you, you're one of the many Vauxhall apologists I know of, plus you are the Corsaviour.....

[fordperv]

You my friend are king of misery, great buy

[RoadworkUK]

It's when reading threads like this that I realise how terrible at Autoshite I am.

 

Even my fiance's car is more shite than mine. How shameful.

 

I fail.

[Station]

I've got an MPi head if this is SPi, which will unleash 20bhp.

[Split_Pin]

I had a 1.4 spi manual and it was pretty bulletproof, despite minimal maintenance by a then mechanically ignorant me. Not fast though.

 

Get some peanut butter on the black trim and that should help.

[Cavcraft]

 

 

 

 

 

Seller's pictures, pretty much as far from reality as,possible

[Pillock]

It's surprisingly unpink though. Good mop or a respray?

My ex bought a red L-plate TD - the 1.5 model. Went like stink but it was only about 6 years old when she bought it and it had already had a blow-over to try and keep it red. 

 

Sounds like it'll be a bit of a twat to turn around though. Missing bits of dashboard and all that. Maybe your best bet is to wang some carboot-sale alloys on it, Lexus lights out of a skip at the scrapyard, and look for a chav with only one leg.

[trigger]

I'd imagine owning this would be much like being fingered up the arse by a elephant. Good effort!

[Split_Pin]

Quite rare to see a Corsa this old nowadays.

[cms206]

Well... Errr... I like it. H8RS B H8IN

[Cavcraft]

It doesn't look as nice in real life, I'm afraid. The back sort of 3rd is a bit pink-ish. I might (long shot) have found a home for it now as it stands, but someone half-arsedly agreeing to something by e-mail and them actually wanting it are two different things.

[michael t]

Girlfriend in a corsa, suffer little corsa's, some corsa's are bigger than others, just a few Smiths/Morrissey related Corsa anthems

[Cavcraft]

Girlfriend in a corsa,

 

 

I genuinely LMFAOD at that, superb!

[Peter Patina]

Some cars are shitter than others

Some cars are shitter than others

Some car-makers are shitter than other car-makers.

[Jim Bergerac]

Girlfriend in a corsa,

 

I know, I know - it's hideous

[trigger]

"There is a EML light that never goes out"

[catsinthewelder]

[The Moog]

Please please please let me get where I am going (without the AA)

[michael t]

loving this   

[wackywacerwill]

You really are the boy with the shite in his eye.

[Ghosty]

I was looking for a car and then I found a car, and heaven knows it's pogweaseled now...

[Bucketeer]

Not sure about his views on Corsas but he certainly doesn't seem to like big, late '70s Vauxhalls.

And his spelling isn't great.

 

[greengartside]

Looks like this will be 'The first of the gang to die'.....